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What are some things that you did/found helpful when you started going down in the number of sessions? I find that I am having a hard time accepting that I am at the point/ have the skills where I don't need sessions as frequently.
Sorry for getting on everyone's nerves by reassurance seeking. I am just struggling and feel like a real P. I just want some help while I wait on my next therapy appointment
I get married in 5 days. And what’s suppose to be the happiest week of my life, is the most numb, dreadful and ocd-filled. I’ve suffered from what I’d call existential ocd for 2.5 years. It’s been so long with it that I THINK my theme has changed to.. “what if I never feel the same again?” “What if I never recover?” “What if I’m always left feeling numb and disconnected?” The existential ocd started with “life is meaningless thoughts”. They are still there. They’re relentless too. My brain just one day grasped that we die and immediately it led me to belief that because of death and because no one has answers.. life is meaningless. I developed very bad depression. And I think my ocd has latched on to this numb feeling. Let me say, I feel no positive or negative emotions. I can’t cry, I can’t feel, I don’t see a point, I don’t feel connected to anything or anyone. I get married in 5 days and I feel nothing. And let be clear, I love my fiance so so much. He is amazing. Everything I want and more. Everyday I wake up, my ocd is nonstop all day. I really don’t see a point in anything. I would say I have little to no insight OCD. I truly believe this is my life. Any advice appreciated.
Anyone have any tips on not making ERP a compulsion? I find myself sometimes wanting to do exposures in order to make myself feel better (feel my anxiety go down and feel relief). 😅
Having a little bit of a rough morning. My boyfriend and I are finally ending long distance next month and moving in together! I’m so excited, but the big change means some ROCD and SOOCD flaring up. I also got triggered by a tik tok of a bisexual woman this morning. I’ve been ruminating about: - ending long distance and being in a more consistent routine will make me realize I don’t actually love him and that we’re not compatible - I will not like spending so much time with a man but I enjoyed a long vacation with a girl friend one time (my best friend and I took a 7 week trip to Europe after we graduated college early and I had so much fun and we hardly fought / disagreed) - if i have been suppressing my attraction to women, even though I really don’t think I have feelings for women. I admire their beauty and always have, but I truly think that’s as far as it goes - substance use ocd also came up this morning? Worrying that I will become an alcoholic / that I secretly want to drugs and drink all the time I’m also getting my period in a few days and have flair ups around this time and my ovulation time. Just looking for support 🫶🏼
Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and inappropriately messaging minors and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ s3xual HOCD triggers that triggered me immensely...) In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person for supporting trump, i vented to her again because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... ChatGPT just told me I inappropriately messaged minors when I dont ever want to be like those dirty disgusting youtubers who inappropriately messaged them and did P3do stuff with them at all... Im so triggered please someone help me...
My perfectionism OCD has me looking for the inevitable flaws in people, and when I find those flaws, I distance myself. This only leads to loneliness and isolation, which brings its own set of emotions. I’m doing this to myself and hurts.
im not sure what this could be described as exactly since this is the first time i can explicitly remember something like this happening and it lasted for a few hours (thankfully i had no internet on the flight so i couldn’t seek reassurance) but yesterday, as i was on an airplane back to the us, i was watching desperate housewives and was watching an episode where one of the moms (lynette scavo) went into a swimming coach’s (art shepard) house and there was a scene where she and her kids were in the house and she found her kids in the basement filled with a bunch of kids games. however, the wall to the side was also filled with pictures of young shirtless boys which indicated that he could be a pedophile. i feel like i looked at the screen a bit more intently during that specific scene to see what exactly it was that was causing the suspense of the moment. however, my mind started telling me that i looked at the screen because i was attracted to the kids and that i am supposedly a pedophile. i had a thought spiral about this for maybe an hour or two during the flight where my mind was trying to accuse me and i tried mentally rationalizing as to why im not a pedophile and reassured myself that this is probably just ocd but it seemed very real at the time period and it freaked me out
first post on here, and i almost feel ashamed that its come to this point.. but i really need help. i have a constant fear that everything is bad luck. my brain has decided that certain numbers or words will cause something bad to happen to my family or me, and i really dont want anything to happen. my brain tells me that all of my compulsions are signs from God, and that if i dont listen, He will be disappointed in me. and i become afraid that every small mistake i made results in bad things happening to me. even posting this is terrifying to me, but im running out of options at this point.. i dont want to feel like this anymore, i want to believe in God without these thoughts.
I need to find a solution fast to stop this way I’m living but I don’t think it’s possible, I’m in a constant state of pain from being tormented with guilt and warped memories. I know some of the memories to be true and some are all jumbled together so they get warped. It kills me to not know if I’m evil or not , I’m always thinking of the bad things I did when I was like 13 and didn’t know much about what’s truly right and wrong. I just feel like such a bad bad person , I don’t want any form of relationships at all because then I’ll have to confess everything bad I believe I’ve done or else I’m lying to them about who I am. I don’t really want therapy because I’m not confessing these memories or thoughts to a stranger especially because I’m only 16 and very socially awkward so I won’t be able to open up about this at all. I keep most of all of this in secrecy because I know nothing truly gets rid of the guilt. I also don’t allow myself any sympathy anymore because I just think I don’t deserve that either because evil people don’t deserve any empathy , it’s so hard to live with this. I just needed to get this off my chest since I’ve got no one to talk too
I’m scared people are using me for their personal gain and that no one on this earth will ever view me as an actual person. I don’t want to be someone’s friend/girlfriend/wife because they’re lonely, I want to be in their life because they actually like me and VALUE me. I don’t know the difference between my instinct and my ocd sometimes. I think I tend to make sound judgements and usually perceive others accurately to the truth of who they really are; but now im scared to do this because what if im proved wrong once again, wasted my time, and ignored signs I should’ve noticed all along? I cannot make this mistake again. I can’t trust another person again to the point where I think if they compliment me, talk to me, or make an effort to know me, they’re only doing it for a transactional, convenient purpose. They must want something from me that is something superficial/benefits only them, not a real or authentic connection. My brain is telling me they must all be lying to me because they pity me, and think im dumb or naive. This is not how I feel about my relationships with people, this is how my ocd thinks others perceive me. I feel like im getting punished over and over again for making past mistakes and God is sending me people who don’t actually like/love me to teach me a lesson. I can’t fucking stand it anymore. I wish I could trade lives with someone who doesn’t think this way. I don’t understand what I did to deserve the weirdest/meanest people come into my life and fuck my perception of humanity even more than how I viewed it before. Can someone tell me why I even care this much about it? What do I do? Why does this happen?? I’m crying and im so embarassed im even posting this. We have such small amounts of time on earth and my head sabotages me to hate every minute of it. I want it to stop
Hey all, as an OCD newbie, i have some questions. These might be obvious or stupid, but idk, i just need some answers. 1. Is it hard for anyone else to watch movies and not get triggered? 2. Does anyone else get OCD about their OCD? 3. Is it possible/normal to have a lot of subtypes? And i mean like 6 or 7. 4. Do people usually misunderstand us and assume that our intrusive thoughts are actually what we want to do?
How to stop overthinking??
Hi everyone. <3 was wondering if anyone with experience dealing with excoriation/skin-picking disorder has some tips or tricks that have particularly helped them. Came to NOCD this week for help - first timer that would really like to be able to wear a tank top again 😅🫠 I did join the BFRB support group but unfortunately will be on a night shift this week when it meets . Thank you in advance ❤️
I have severe religious,harm and different OCD thoughts and i'm managing it but today i was hearing my relatives talking about Marriage and that if your mental health is bad Marriage is not suitable for you and no Man or his family would accept me as a wife if they knew my mental health condition and that i'm taking medication...
18+ TW! POCD Is this still Pocd. I’m so scared For example, I’ll be feeling aroused over a child and feel genuinely aroused like I want the arousal and I’ll stop forcing it to not come because in the moment it feels like I want it in the moment so alllow the arousal to happen. Another example is I’ll feel aroused over a kid and my ocd will say make your blanket touch your private areas for a feeling over kids and I’ll do it in the moment because I feel aroused over the intrusive thought of the child. Another example is I’ll even think “yes I want this arousal over the child” and in the moment it feels like I want it I hate all of this after and do many compultions
I really want to die The only thing that keeps me here are my children I can't do that to them... But the torture is unreal... My quality of life is destroyed ritual after ritual after ritual. It's like I have two minds. I want to be normal but the other side of my mind says no! I will not let you be freaking normal You will obey my command and do your rituals everyday out of fear! I can't take it anymore I really just want to die! I pray to God everyday but there hasn't been any answers from him. I'm a devout Christian and a Jesus follower. Where is my Savior? Why does God and Jesus keep on letting us live this way through torture? I feel like I'm a blasphemer for saying that, I'm done I need help! Like we all do!
I wanted to come on here and explain my OCD because I always feel so out of place since my OCD works a little differently than everyone else’s. If someone can relate to this, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I’ve always felt so alone with not knowing what this feeling is and why it affects me so much. Okay so ever since I was a toddler, Ive had a fear of change I can’t control. when the weather changes I’d have anxiety attacks, and a cloudy day would make me feel like i’m not myself. I don’t recognize my surroundings and I would cry and close my eyes until I’m back to normal. When it was still bright out at 8pm in the summer, as a kid, we’d go to bed at 8:30. But I’d tell my dad that I couldn’t go to bed. Not because of the sun, but because I wasn’t used to it. I vividly remember how different my room would feel when the sun was setting at 9pm. I hated it to the point where it’d make me anxious and scared. As I’ve grown, I’ve understood what causes me to feel so out of place when it’s a rainy day. My routine has always been the same for the most part: I wake up, I run to the store to get a monster, I clean/watch tv/work/hangout with friends, and then at night (which is crucial), I’m in bed around 10pm & I burn incense and watch tv for a bit until i’m ready to sleep. When things get in the way of that schedule, I go in panic mode. It’s almost like derealization when something is off in my normal routine. Like I feel like I’m in a different home, a different timeline, a dream almost. Since i’m older, It takes more for me to feel this way, but when I was younger, just watching a movie in my room would set me off because I’ve never watched a movie as a part of my routine. I know this is all over the place but I always wonder if everyone feels this way, but my OCD just intensifies it. It’s such a big part of my life, this sort of anxiety. And I don’t know how to get rid of it. I want to have my friends stay the night, but I can’t have people overnight in my room because it’ll change the whole “vibe” of the room. Something unfamiliar happening in my room is a nightmare for me. Another thing: I enjoy rearranging my room quite often and I figure that’s because It’s change I can control. But I always dread the night after it’s changed and I have to force myself into getting used to how it feels and being used to the way things are. But it really takes a toll on me; sometimes I end up crying because of it. ALSO! This affects relationships as well. If I’m in a relationship, I have to let in someone who has never been apart of my routine and my schedule before and that’s terrifying and almost impossible to get past. I know if I just let myself get used to the new feeling of having someone APART of my routine/schedule I can get used to it, but it’s harddd. Lastly, going overnight to people’s houses isn’t awful for me, because It doesn’t affect what’s mine. Does that make sense? Since I’m not in my room, my house, my backyard, etc, there’s nothing to change. Only the fact that i’m in a different place which used to be an issue, but my body/mind has accepted that I will go to different places and i’m very optimistic so i’m not one to just live in a bubble for the rest of my life. I would love to travel, but I don’t know how I could when I fear so much change. I leave for college soon and i’m DREADING the change because I know a whole different room is going to have me stressing 😭😭. If anyone understands this feeling even just by a little, I greatly appreciate if you leave a comment or even if u don’t relate, advice would be helpful:) Thank you!
I think I’ve learned with having OCD for almost 10 years being diagnosed for 5 Is that you have to fight every day and use your ERP and tools. I’ve gone through multiple relapses. I’ve had bad days bad weeks bad months, but I always remind myself to keep going to keep fighting. It’s OK to be discouraged every now and then what we have to deal with every day is tough and most people won’t ever understand. But I think that we are the real warrior la that are fighting a battle. No one can see. And I’m proud of everyone. I am a religious man. I used to see this as a curse and something I didn’t want in my life at all. But now I’m starting to see as a blessing which may sound odd. But I feel like I was given this so I could help others Reach peace and freedom. Hope everyone’s having a good day today, keep fighting. Don’t give up. We got this.
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