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the NOCD Community

So I am a practicing Catholic, and I've gotten into reading the Bible this year, praying the Rosary, things like that, and while I love to do that, my OCD has been seeming to take over, in ways such as like I have to read the Bible for a certain amount of time before I'm satisfied with the time read, or something along those lines, and it's starting to make the thought of praying and reading the Bible unenjoyable, which is really hurting me inside, because I used to and want to enjoy it so bad, but now this is making it really hard to, because it feels like I don't have control over my own thoughts, and little things trigger the thoughts, it's just so annoying. If there's anything anyone thinks I can do to combat this please let me know.

i’ve been dealing with OCD for years. my biggest theme being POCD. i have dealt with the anxiety aspect of it all but i think i now have a dysregulated nervous system that normal somatic grounding exercises cannot fix. i also experience only depression. it’s like i still have the POCD + intrusive thoughts. I try not to engage with them, but I’m still depressed but don’t experience much anxiety. should I go on medication? Is it more than just OCD now?

i’m so tired of everything i can’t take the ocd on top of school life no friends no love never will find good love. i can’t be out publicly i’ll never be in the right body i’ll never be happy and stable i just want to dissapear. I will never escape my ocd and my gender. i can’t do this my entire life.

*Trigger Warning: Work, Mistake, Harm, Real Event* Afraid to post this… One of the worst theme I've ever had is the fact that I made a mistake at work many years ago and will not be able to find out if anyone was harmed. My brain takes the worst-case scenario as reality (which is so painful), and researching has only led to more panic. I have been thinking about this incident for about a year now and am filled with fear and guilt. Is there anyone here with similar experiences or tips that could help? I would be grateful for any response...

the anxiety is too much i can't keep still my chest hurts my heads full of thoughts im really struggling and don't know what else to do other than deep breathing and letting the anxiety be present

If you are anything like me (and most of you are, because let’s face it, we are all on this chat), you have OCD. Real OCD, not the organisation, matching colours everyone thinks it is. Real OCD. I’ve always known I was different, known that my brain does some waking things and deep down, I’ve always known I’ve had OCD. But there is just something that changes when you finally get the diagnosis. It makes more sense, you have an explanation for your behaviours. So naturally I told my friends. When they ask why I had to stop and step four times on a tile I said ‘oh, I have OCD’. I finally had a word, a tangible concept that I could explain to people. But nobody warned me about the massive misconceptions about OCD. Instead of support or acceptance, my friends seemed to question the diagnosis saying ‘that’s not ocd, don’t you just like things organised?’. And no matter how much I explain it they don’t seem to get it. And that’s the part that feels so cruel. I go through hell in my head and it can all be reduced to a phrase of ‘oh, aren’t you organised’. So please be careful out there you guys, and if someone try’s to downplay your experience, know that you are valid and that what you are going through is probably something that they could never handle. It’s a lesson that took me time to learn, but it’s important because our experience matters. Our real experience.

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

I have a son with OCD/BDD and he’s on the spectrum. I went into the meeting tonight thinking it was for parents trying to get support for the caregiver. I was told that’s on Mondays?

my mom has been on this adhd kick where she thinks everyone has adhd instead of what they actually have because apparently it can present itself as anxiety. well i told her i was taking prozac because that’s something she needs to know since i still live at home. and she’s fine with it because it’s my choice. however, she comes into my room because she sent me a video about adhd. in the video, at the end, it says “girls with adhd may develop perfectionist or obsessive compulsive tendencies.” THEN, she has the audacity to tell me my compulsions didn’t start to show until after high school when that isn’t true at all. i just never talked about it, but of course she doesn’t believe me. i just feel so invalidated because after all of the hell i’ve been through, to be told i don’t have what i most certainly am positive i do have is atrocious. i would lose my mind if i was told i didn’t have ocd because of the intrusive thoughts i get that make me feel like a terrible person. i feel like being told that sets me back so far and makes me want to thought spiral a bit. i’m so upset.

Hi guys, This is my first post on here, as I’ve been scared to be vulnerable in this way. I’ve had a lifelong journey of mental health, diagnosed with a myriad of things, and misdiagnosed with others. When I got diagnosed with OCD, things started to click and treatment has been going well. There’s still a disconnect, things I do that are different than others and aren’t compulsion or obsession related. The reason I’m posting is to ask if anyone has been diagnosed with OCD/Autism and how you navigated that comorbidity. Thank you to anyone who shares

Finally my partner decided to break up with me, and I feel totally empty. He wants an open relationship, which I can’t handle. Just feel broken inside 💔

I dont want my relapse to stop me to assist, I will go but I am sad because I don't want a beautiful moment to became horrible because the fear and dicomfort I am feelling this days. It will be a good exposure but how can I enjoy it? The depression came back, I wasn't prepared for this, like I knew OCD is chronic but I forgot it hahaha Right now I am trying just to think in short times like, 24 h and it is helping a bit Update: The day was really good !

2 days ago I decided that I will do my bloodtest, last time i was in 2017 and for some reason when i stood up I started to feel dizzy and I couldnt see anything, I didnt fainted but i was close to it,the nurses quickly layed me down, and then i was fine, but the whole day my body was shaking. I was afraid of blood test, and i always avoided it, but my health anxiety got worse cause i was afraid everytime that i have cancer but i cant check it cause im afraid of bloodtests. This year i had to do other medical tests and now they asked me to do bloodtest too, and 2 days ago i said okay this week i will face this fear. And i felt excitet, motivated and happy that finally i will face my fear. I did not cared if i faint cause it might not happen but if does I can handle it, i will feel good after i wake up. But someone after some hours, the fears came up, and i wanted to face them (cause people say you need to challenge the thoughts) so i tried to challenge them and find ways that i will handle those scenarios, but after time i got stressed cause i didnt know how to respond. If i faint and then vomit and feel sick and vomit alot of times cause im also panicking to the point they have to take me to the hospital... this jist scared me. I dont know how to handle that panic. The body will react to the blooddrown so either way i will feel bad. And im afraid of it and I cant deal with that fear.I dont know what to do if i will feel sick the whole day, if i will vomit the whole day and faint because of stress. This might be catastrophising but now these thoughts comes up, if i imagine myself being there and getting my blood drawned, i imediatelly feel the panic and these scenarios come up and then i dont know what to do so i just panic... Last night i asked help from others and it helped that some said that its pretty rare that you will vomit after blooddrawn, people who do are sick already or they are really scared. And this made me feel good but then i read about it and i found out that its pretty common that people faint, or vomit or fo both after blooddrawn... and now im just thinking about not going... i cant deal with it cause idk what to do. Breathing techniques didnt worked for me, if im panicking and i try to relax by breathing, i get more stressed cause my brain knows i do it to calm down and the panic is a danger so i get more panic... idk what to do.

So for as long as I’ve been alive I’ve loved horror/ thriller movies and books. I really only enjoy reading thriller books. Since my harm ocd hit I have slowly started back reading thriller again, but I have to check for triggers before each one I read. There’s been a few books that I was really loving that I had to stop reading because something that would trigger my ocd would come up ( my theme is going crazy becoming dangerous , schizophrenia etc ) so if a character in a book starts hearing voices or something, I get so anxious. I want to be able to read and watch horror / thrillers again. Do I simply need to just continue reading / watching and sit with the anxiety?

Resisting compulsions feels so wrong and dangerous, I’m trying my best but the anxiety of doing so is immense. Especially because my brain is still not allowing myself to believe that my obsession is OCD, it wants me to believe it is a threat, so even calling my compulsions “compulsions” is making me anxious because that is me calling this whole thing OCD and not real if that makes sense?

Hey what’s up y’all Does anyone else have generalized anxiety along with OCD and is taking a low dose medication? I wanted to try something I’m not big on meidcation but it’s getting to a point that it’s really affecting my day to day even though I’ve been dealing with it for years and years

Last week was a lot easier for me. I felt like thoughts didn’t control me and my actions as much as they did earlier. Today was really hard for me and I feel like I’m starting to lose hope again:( I can’t take the thoughts and the feelings that come with them anymore. I feel like I have failed and I’m never going to be happy again.

I’ll be starting NOCD therapy on Monday, any words of advice?

Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling deeply with what I believe is ROCD for about a year and a half. I’ve read so much, I’ve learned about ERP, I know that I’m supposed to let the thoughts and feelings pass without reacting — but even knowing all of that, I feel stuck. More than stuck — I feel broken. Lately, I can’t stop thinking that maybe I never loved my boyfriend. That I only loved the idea of being in a relationship, and now I’m just trying to hold on to a fantasy. These thoughts feel incredibly real. When I’m next to him, kissing or cuddling him, I feel like I’m faking it. And that scares me. It feels like something inside me changed and I can’t go back. And now I can’t even remember what love felt like — it’s like I’ve lost myself completely. Yesterday was especially painful. I was overwhelmed and my mom, who usually notices when I’m not okay, tried to talk to me. She loves me a lot and has been carrying her own burdens lately. When she saw how much pain I was in, she reacted strongly — not because she doesn’t care, but because it hurts her to see me like this every day. She told me I might be lying to myself. That I’m hurting both myself and my boyfriend by holding on if I don’t feel love. She asked me to imagine what I would feel if he broke up with me — and I couldn’t answer. I froze. The thing is, I don’t know what I want anymore. I feel hopeless. I try to remember good memories and feel nothing. I used to cry when we said goodbye — now I feel numb. It makes me think that maybe I’ve always been in denial. That maybe everything I believed was love was just me forcing it. And yet… I still don’t want to lose him. But even that feeling feels far away now. These thoughts aren’t just whispers anymore. They feel like truths screaming in my head. “You don’t like him.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just used to him.” “It was all fake.” And I can’t stop ruminating. Every second of my day is consumed with doubt, fear, guilt, sadness, emptiness — and above all, confusion. I just want to know if anyone else has felt this. Felt like they were losing everything, like nothing feels real anymore, like they’re trying so hard to do the right thing and nothing works. I’m trying to sit with the feelings. I’m trying not to seek reassurance. But I also need support. I feel so alone in this. Thank you for reading.

I’m trying to do ERP therapy, but I keep thinking my subtype of ocd is the worst there ever is. I tried going on a walk tonight and the adrenaline in my body along with the shakes and the burning in my chest got so overwhelming. I felt like I was just about to lay down in the gutter along the sidewalk. I’m not trying to be super negative. I just don’t know what to do anymore. If it’s not one thing it’s another and I just wanna cry so bad and I want it to go away but it won’t I almost feel like I have to call a crisis line or something even right now while I’m writing this I’m crying so bad. I can’t enjoy a single thing. I joined a support group tonight, but I just feel like I feel so bad for everyone because of how awful it is. I know what I’m writing right now doesn’t make a lot of sense but I just don’t know what to do anymore. Part of me wants to quit ERP therapy so bad cause I don’t think it’s gonna ever help. if anyone has any advice or suggestions, that would be greatly appreciated.