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Wanted to talk.. Just some ocd discussion not for the reassurance But know more about it... Hope someone will.. Thanks!🙏😇 (Been recovering from so ocd)..! So just wanted to educate myself..

A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap. I’m not going to respond to this snap. Also my brain is telling me I’m a cheater bc I never took out the emoji from her name beforehand. I genuinely never thought about the name until today, it’s been like that forever and I don’t think I ever paid much attention to it until now when my OCD is attaching to it. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. It’s also attaching to the part where a couple weeks ago her and her friends were giving out cookies to people and they texted me if I wanted one, they were down to their last cookie, so I was like sure and they were in their car just out of my driveway in the street and I got a cookie from them. Even then I felt terrible for getting a cookie from them bc of just interacting with other girls. But now I’m like why did I never realize the name had the 😘 emoji with it and I’m spiraling. Also she texted me June 20 asking about if I had a bbl which was weird and so I responded to her then bc I was like wtf. But now I’m like why did I never realize her name had that emoji in it and I’m stressing. I really don’t enjoy talking to her and I’m not attracted to her at all and barely actually talk with her, and if I do I’m not flirting with her bc I love my girlfriend and don’t care about other girls I do remember that it wasn’t that girl that texted me about the cookie, it was one of my friends gfs. I was also worried about that bc I didn’t want to text my friends gf bc I thought it would be weird but it was only about the cookie

Ugh videos like this make my heart drop and my stomach feel sick I have so much anxiety all the time then I will try to distract myself and not watch those videos but then feel like I’m being ihnorant and that maybe those videos are for me I don’t know what to do. I get so much anxiety trying to sit in Gods presence and pray and try to hear him back instead of just talking cuz my brain is everywhere at once and my intrusive thoughts just make me hurry through prayer I know I should go to him for advice first instead of here but I’m struggling and scared

A girl that I know that lives in my neighborhood just snapped me and it was “watch Marlee show off her garden or something” and I was worried enough to just open the snap bc I’m scared of interacting with other girls bf my ocd. The snap was just of her friend playing a garden game and then it switched to a coloring one but I genuinely just skipped over the whole video, it was 10 snaps long. Also the girl that sent me that, her name on snap has had a “😘” and even after changing it today it still shows the ____😘 on her public profile but I never changed her name on my snap and I feel bad bc I have a gf. I hate when people add the stupid hearts and stuff for their names on snap

My current obsession is around mental health, specifically that I have undiagnosed Bipolar 2. Any changes in my mood are triggering and in my compulsive googling to make myself feel better (never works lol) I discovered that ocd and bipolar are linked in like 10-20% of cases?! So now I feel worse. Anyone else experience mental health fears?

If one more person tells me to go out for a walk to "help me feel better" I am going to poke out my eyes. I know it's not said out of malice but my goodness. How can't people understand that my intrusive thoughts, compulsions and ruminations FOLLOW ME. Instead of feeling shitty inside, now I'm feeling shitty outside where I'm not in a space where I'm comfortable. I'm sick of it. 😟

Real event, legal ocd, and false memory ocd around events that happened years ago but never bothered me till a month ago and now my life is being destroyed because I feel sooooooooooo guilty

hi everyone. i feel this is the only platform where i can vent. i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. at first, i caught him messaging other girls, asking for their only fans and would message his cousin to text him saying they’re going to the movies that way he can escape with someone else. he would smoke and drink alot. last year, he told me he was drinking after work and wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. he did not get home until 4am and expected me to not be mad. he would aggressively throw things whenever he would be upset. this of course, created a lot of anxiety and trauma. that day, i grabbed my things and left. i ended up giving him a 2nd chance because he was begging me and promised he would change. just last night, he did the same exact thing. he was drinking with his coworkers and i called him because it was getting late (8pm). he kept declining and texted he was w his coworkers and not to pick him up because his cousin was going to pick him up to continue drinking. this of course made me very upset and I told him i felt neglected. I told him I was done with our relationship because I cannot continue to tolerate this. he turned off his phone and got home until 1am. he was upset and said i should just wait for him to get home to talk. today, i packed my bags and left. i do not want to continue feeling anxious or neglected. am i in the wrong for packing my things and leaving? should i have stayed and talked to him? i am super heartbroken as we also had a dog who we both love very much. i feel like i lost my 2 loves and my heart is shattered. i would greatly appreciate anyone to respond. thank you!

Havent been on in a while but todays rough. Had a major ocd episode. Its literally ocd number one million different iteration In summary i saw teen boys had intrusive thoughts. Looked away. Moved my foot which had a groinal and the pcd hyperfixation of them being in my side view and the additional intrusive thoughts saying “the false attraction and groinal non concordance means i aroused over them” followed by intense gut wrenching guilt sick to my stomach is what ocd is making me ruminate and provlem solve and feel guilt and stuck and question y intention even thiugh i know my true self. Also i tried doing what others have said by responding “maybe, maybe not” and just agreeing with the thought to shut it up. I know i wasnt arousing over thr boys and wasnt checking tbem out and im not a pedophile and not attracted to teen boys or boys/men period. I know groinals are a natural occurence and ocd symptom . I just had this random intense ocd episode. I was standing at the store and seen two teenage kids. I had intrusive thought they were handsome but i dont think they were handsome. I looked away but still seen them in the corner of my eyes and i adjust my foot which caused a groinal. I looked at them and their mom twice i think then looked away but my ocd hyperfocused on them in my peripheal view and since i had a groinal ocd had followed up with another intrusivr thought saying this means i aroused over them and its pedophilic and then i felt a gut wrenching disgust and guilt. I dont want any of this. I know im not a pedophile. I know i wasnt checking them out or arousing myself. I just was looking at people like normal and had intrusivr thoughts and groinals. I looked away as a compulsion but since i still seen them in my peripheal and didnt completely block them out ocd says it means i wanted to see them and chrck tbem out and arouse myself. This is ego dystonic. Its causing me extreme distress and gut wrenching guilt. I dont even think theyre handsome and im not a pedophile. Ocd makes me feel guilty and doubt if i did something wrong. These intrusive thoughts and feelings are intense It all happened so fast i saw the boys. I had the ocd thoughts. I looked twice. I felt anxiety so looked away but still seen thrm in my sode view and ocd was hyperfocused screaming to me theyre there like a lion was next to me. I simply moved my foot which caused a groinal reaction. Then ocd followed with the intrusivr thought “you aroused yourself youre a pedo” etc and then the gut wrenching guilt and dosgust followed but i know its ego dystonic and not who i am and ocd thought number one million because ive had this before. A compulsion would be closing my eyes or looking away so they wouldnt even be in my peripheal and since i only partially looked away ocd said it means i was doing something inappropriate but i knoe thats not true I know i was already feeling anxious because of the large crowd. I know i was just looking in their general direction nothing wrong and had intrusivr thoughts. Then i looked away at a guy next to me to distract myself from these intrusive thoughts and from the boys. Plus me looking away to the guy and all i did was move my foot and that motion plus the anxiety caused a groinal. So OCD said “you aroused over the boys= POCD” and since i basiclaly did a semi compulsion semi erp i looked away to avoid the kids but still could see them in my peripheal view thats when ocd played on it and said i didnt fully avoid them so i mustve aroused over them but i know its all ego dystonic. A real pedophile wouldnt feel guilt or anxiety or discomfort or gut wrenching feelings and wouldnt avoid looking. Theyd look and enjoy it. I was extremelt uncomfortable and the groinal was uncomfortable. I dont even think the boys were good looking. Its the gut wrenching guilt symptom of ocd and the intrusive thougjts that make it feel real and keep stuck in the loop In summary i saw teen boys had intrusive thoughts. Looked away. Moved my foot which had a groinal and the pcd hyperfixation of them being in my side view and the additional intrusive thoughts saying “the false attraction and groinal non concordance means i aroused over them” followed by intense gut wrenching guilt sick to my stomach is what ocd is making me ruminate and provlem solve and feel guilt and stuck and question y intention even thiugh i know my true self. Also i tried doing what others have said by responding “maybe, maybe not” and just agreeing with the thought to shut it up. I know i wasnt arousing over thr boys and wasnt checking tbem out and im not a pedophile and not attracted to teen boys or boys/men period. I know groinals are a natural occurence and ocd symptom

How do u stop worrying about if ur going to prison if u tell ur therapist about ur ocd or real event ocd ive told a therapist before about it but i dont know if how im feeling is rational like what i keep imagining her judging me finding me weird then calling the police and the police saying infront of everyone what happened and then me being locked up for the rest of my life .?????

Does it happen to you that when a person is specific in your ocd thoughts (my sister is my sister), that everything about her is a trigger for you when you see her? And the way he moves, talks, eyes, you suddenly sexualize everything, or is it just me? it really bothers me, because I constantly feel my groin, so I wonder if it's really OCD, or if it's something in me...

little involuntary unconscious movements earlier i was petting a dog that was sitting next to me and i was standing up and i was petting in on the head and after a little while i looked down and my foot was pushed near her private area i think i moved i didnt know it was happening. it happened last night too i was standing next to my cat and i had thought about my leg being right against the beginning of her tail and i looked down and thats where i was and i moved. i dont feel safe around people or animals, im better off not being here. its safer for everyone im not looking for reassurance, im pretty sure i dont have ocd anymore, im nothing, im disgusting. i don’t expect anyone to say anything i dont know why this happens so often im terrified.

I suffer since 10 - 15 yrs from specific fears. It was years that my OCD constantly wanted to be checked if I have HIV or not. I had a lot of sex and I thought this is normal. But I ruminated in my backhead about and was testing like 5 - 10 times a year. After the test I felt everytime so relieved. In Corona I was addicted to porn and even I lost control and was watching pretty hard stuff. I was chatting with a girl and we fantasized about really disturbing things. I never wanna meet her and for me was sure it's just kinda onlinestuff. I was in a relationship 3 years now. And I lost fear of HIV. But then came Morality OCD, Real Event (this chat) and after some times POCD. This combination was knocking me out, I felt like the badest person on earth. I did everything wrong and searched for relief and reassurance. It put me to the point of suicidal. I never ever hurting somebody, but my brain was making me a monster. I had to quit the relationship because I just couldn't give her what she deserved. I was in a clinic for 3 months. And we tested medication with ERP (before I took escitalopram for years). Anafranil was working first, then too many side-effects. I tried even without meds, but was so depressed. Now on sertralin for 5 weeks, but only 2 weeks on therapeutic dose 200mg. And wow, now I really feel so confused in the brain. I feel like how big my OCD became. The specific thoughts are not anymore, BUT it sticks on EVERYTHING atm. It's delusional how it feels in the brain. I really hope so deep my brain makes finally a reset and I need to wait it out. I could live with OCD for a long time but the last 1-2 yrs it took absolutely everything. I remark that POCD doesn't stick anymore like before but my brain is now constructing a very bad future because of past mistakes (that I all discussed with family, friends for relief over and over and over again). So it's like my OCD is now Real Event (The sexchat) again. Anyone was on the same point in life?

Hi, I was talking to my boyfriend and he went something along the lines of "I don't want to raise a child here in our country" which is understandable. We're in our twenties and don't expect to adopt for at least other 10 years, but that triggered me so much, my first response was "But what if I want to raise our child here?" because I really don't feel like moving right now and I want to stay close to my family. I told him and he, of course, went like "I mean we'll discuss about it when it's time??" but I feel like I want all the answers NOW. It's not just this, every time I am unsure about something that will happen in our future I get so triggered... is this OCD or a genuine concern? I am so confused and I don't wanna bring it up till I'm sure of its nature.

17f That's it I'm a monster. Before yesterday I had classic textbook POCD. Avoided children like crazy, was scared to even look at them. But something randomly clicked in my head and I became a monster. I suddenly became numb to s*xual thoughts about children. No anxiety, no remorse, no "this is wrong" or "this is weird" feeling. Nothing. Just weird curiosity. I was able to imagine SAing a child. Even made a hypothetical plan on how I would do it. And still. No remorse. No nothing. Now it's the next day and I'm freaking out. I still feel kinda numb to the images and the morality itself but at the same time it scared me how OKAY I was with the thoughts even made a PLAN.

The subject of OCD matters to the sufferer because it feels like confirmation that they are fundamentally unlovable and unwanted—as if even existence itself doesn’t want them. They feel like an error, carrying a deep sense of guilt and shame, as if they were inherently wrong. They suffer from low self-esteem and a deep internalized shame, because long ago, they were fragmented and learned a pattern of fundamental distrust—especially self-distrust. But the real trouble doesn’t come from the content of the most vile or taboo thoughts. It comes from the fact that the sufferer lacks self-love. That’s why, when you begin to walk the road to recovery, you’re taught unconditional self-acceptance—because that’s what all sufferers of OCD have in common: if you aren’t 100% sure, if there isn’t absolute certainty, the doubt will continue to attack you and your core values. It will make you doubt everything—even your own aversion to the thoughts. You have to relearn how to trust yourself—not because you accept that you might become a murderer someday—but because you enter a deep state of acceptance about who you truly are. It’s not about becoming a monster at all. It’s about making peace with what lies at the root of the fear. Making peace with the guilt. With the shame. Making peace with yourself and the person you fear you might be. Because that fear is not rooted in reality. It’s not rooted in any true desire to act. It’s rooted in your identity—specifically, in what might threaten it. That’s what confirms the belief that you are fundamentally wrong. And OCD fuels that belief by using intrusive taboo thoughts to attack your very sense of self. But then I wonder: let’s say, for example, someone fears being or becoming a sexually dangerous person—how could that person practice unconditional self-acceptance? I would never accept myself if I were to harm anyone—the thought alone makes me want to cry. I know it’s not about whether or not someone acts on the thought. It’s about the core fear underneath it. So how do you accept yourself when the thoughts—and the feelings around them—feel so completely unacceptable ?

Good morning to my fellow community members ☕️ I hope everyone reading this is having an enjoyable summer to the best of their abilities 🌞 After responding to a post of mine from three years ago that someone just commented on; I wanted to take the time to put myself out there and share a brief update on where I’m at in both my recovery and remission status. Overall, I’m in a night and day different place with my OCD from three years ago and I’m thankful, grateful and blessed for that 🙏 Many factors have come into play in order for me to be where I’m at today and able to write this very post 💯 However, I have been met with trials and tribulations along the way and it’s been a very challenging process, but I’ve done my best along the way to take each year on with both stride and grace ☮️ And so, I wanted to speak on as of very recently; not going over my entire journey over the past few years. Hence, the title of this post being “Harm OCD Spike” and it’s exactly that. For me, it’s minimal, but it might be major for someone else who is experiencing Harm OCD and so I wanted to share it with you all and let everyone know that no matter where we’re at in our OCD journeys; unfortunately, it’s never going to be 100% perfect because as we all know; nothing in life is ever 100% perfect and that’s just the reality and that’s entirely okay ✅ It’s a tough pill to swallow in general, but especially for someone like me who has been challenged by the subtype of Perfectionism since my teenage years as well. And so, yes; as of late I have noticed a very-slight increase of random Harm OCD thoughts. Very similar and very comparable to others from throughout my past dealing with Harm OCD. That said, I’m aware of them; I don’t at all like the fact that they’ve sporadically presented themselves, but I’m not at all going to beat myself up about them the way I once did and let’s use “Three years ago” for example (referencing the intro to this post) and that in it and of itself is a win 💪 I’ve acknowledged these few random thoughts that have presented themselves based upon now known triggers. And as we all know; anyone, anything, anytime and at any place can trigger us and that also entirely okay because OCD is not specific when it comes to subtypes nor triggers 📢 No one nor anything is off limits when it comes to OCD and as unfortunate as that may be; it’s the factual reality that we all have to acknowledge, accept and embrace 📶 And again, entirely okay 👍 In conclusion, regardless of your random harm thought, the anxiety that comes to follow, the rumination after that, the want to perform compulsions; whether they’re mental and/or physical that we all experience and/or the assurance seeking that we all feel that we both want and need both in that moment and sometimes even after the fact; the fact of the matter is that no matter where we’re at in our journeys, this is ultimately what happens when having to live with this mental disorder/illness and that’s also entirely okay 🫶 I wish, hope and pray each and every single day since formally being diagnosed years ago that one day a 100% cure will be either discovered or made for us, but until if/when that day comes and God willing it does; we all have each other and our entire community with resources like the life changing/saving NOCD, etc. And THAT’S, what needs to be highlighted and focused in on 💛 Not the overall amount of time that OCD either attempts and/or does steal from us 💔 Why? Because we’re stronger than that! We deserve better than that! And we will continue to fight ourselves and our lives because we all owe it to, ourselves 💗 Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌

someone who doesnt mind heavy topics can i vent to you in the replies im genuinely struggling

Hi guys! I’ve been suffering with ROCD pretty severely recently. I can already feel ERP working and the thoughts making me far less anxious, but am experiencing a lot of anxiety about my OCD never going away, being sad forever and my OCD coming back. Does anyone have anything that helps them with this anxiety? I was prescribed Prozac but am so nervous about taking it.

I can’t function. Everything I do is avoiding setting off my ocd. I stay up til like 5am everyday so I get time to myself where I know that my family is not doing anything, (I am severely set off by food and smells). Then I will wake up and straight away get up to go downstairs (after shifting towels that I use to block the gap from underneath my bedroom door and using my shirt to open and close my bedroom door). When going downstairs I have to leave my phone in my room or it will get contaminated. Once downstairs I can let my fam get food out and do anything that they need (breakfast/lunch), and the second they’re finished I must set a timer for 30min-2hrs before I can even consider going in my room. I can’t touch my drinks, opting for straws that I don’t touch once drank through. I can only sit on one couch cushion in my entire house, except bathroom and bedroom. I can’t touch food, I can’t touch cutlery (wrapping kitchen roll around the handle (eating burgers and pizza with a fork is hell)). I can’t touch the tv remote, or any family members except my dog. I can’t touch any door handles, usually using my foot or getting help from a family member. Every time I go into my bedroom I need to wash my hands at least 3 times before I even consider entering. If my parents cut the grass, I have to semi-suffocate under my bed comforter for the entirety of it and 2hrs after, then spray my room with disinfectant. If my door is open for a second too long or more than a crack, I need to spray (literally squeezing myself through the door every time) and must always block the door with towels. I can’t touch anything on my desk/sides/storage furniture except my mattress, blanket, clothes, and a single notebook that I disinfect every now and then. Multiple times a week I have to wash my phone (I know it’s really bad and I’m already on my second phone because of this, and broke my Nintendo trying to do the same). I have to do my makeup with a t shirt or smth separating my hands from the bottle. I can’t touch my cars seatbelt or anything in the car (had to forgo driving entirely for the past 4 months). I hate this so much and thankfully started Prozac last week, hoping it does something.