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I’ve been dealing with my OCD lately. It’s really been miserable. I’m Pure O and experience physical compulsions as well. I don’t care what OCD wants me to believe….i know at heart I’m a great person and when I’m down and feel like I have no hope I’m reminded of “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica. It resonates with me. I cry every time I hear the lyrics “Forever trust in who we are and nothing else matters.”…. It’s like that part of the song has an angelic authority that makes me feel healed for just that brief time…

No matter how small, tell me something good that happened today. For me: I had yummy coffee today ☕️

my intrusive thoughts have controlled me ever since i was young. i’ve had constant fears of my loved ones dying in horrific car accidents and being unable to come home from work at night, passing away in their sleep, cancer, etc. and i’ve always thought that praying (when i still identified as christian) and doing things in a “right way” (strict routines, repeating the same task three times no more/less, so on…) would save them. for a while, i was okay with not doing these things. i was okay with sitting with the uncertainty and letting my mind think “so what?” if those things happen because i felt safe enough to do so. but im afraid to say that during the summer, my worst fears came true—my intrusive thoughts seemed to come true. my boyfriend of years quite literally died and came back to life and i dissociated for those couple of weeks until my body finally let me register what happened. i was so afraid and scared and i felt my body get physically sicker as the days went on. not to compare my mental traumas with his, of course, i just don’t think i ever fully got over what happened. he is still alive now which i am always so thankful everyday for and i am learning to love our life together instead of grieving it like i did previously. while it’s never fully gone away, my compulsions have come back to haunt me again. i keep seeing things around me and taking it as a sign that he’s going to die again, and im even more convinced because he had another scare today and i couldve lost him again. i keep sobbing just about everyday and i cant stop crying because there’s nothing i can do to save him. i keep grieving him even when he’s still here and when we can’t talk for even an hour i begin to worry. i start to rearrange my room because i think it’ll save him. i try to text him every second like it’s some sort of spell because if i don’t maybe he’ll never wake up. i remake my bed three times because if i don’t then he’ll never wake up. im afraid to talk to my friends about this because i think im a nuisance and speaking it into existence will become real. i cant keep grieving him when he’s not even gone. even when he’s here, i grieve him. i want to be able to love him with no fear, but that’s all that consumes me. i pride myself in being able to handle these things, but this has been the worst year of my life. i don’t know how to move on and get out of this loop. does anyone have any advice? at all? anything would be really deeply appreciated.

My main theme is SOOCD and with my flare up the groinal response goes crazy. Does anyone else get the groinal response for literally anything? Like faces, looking at body parts, being in close proximity to someone of the same gender, or when you’re literally just anxious, stuff like that. I think it’s maybe bc of the automatic checking. Like i’ll see a woman on social media, immediately get anxious (sometimes), and start checking everything. TRIGGER WARNING for anyone with another theme!!!!!! This makes me feel so disgusting to type out. I don’t want to think about it for too long before I trigger another theme. Like sometimes it happens with my own family members. It makes me feel so disgusting. Can anyone relate?

Please read and offer some helpful words if you’ve relapsed before 😭 I have been doing so well in recovery for the last 6-8 months or so with SOOCD. I’ve had my moments where I come on this app and post, but for the most part it has been very manageable. I moved in with my bf a few weeks ago and things are amazing. except my SOOCD is back in fullllll force. It feels incredibly real this time, like I actually want to be with women, like I knew I was into girls when I was young and forgot about it or suppressed it, etc. I feel like I have too much proof in my past childhood exploration / curiosity for me to not be into women. I truly don’t think I have ever had feelings for a girl before even though I explored things through media when I was younger. It’s a constant tug of war in my brain, and I feel so stuck and unable to pull myself out of this spiral. I will have these moments where I’m like “oh my gosh. This is actually true because it feels so real”. And then I will accept it and tell myself everything is real and that I actually do like women, but it only leads to more rumination and questioning. I just seriously don’t know what to do or how to move forward. I can’t go back to therapy unfortunately bc of finances, so I’m stuck trying to go back to erp on my own to get myself out of this. It’s just too much 😭

UPDATE: with my harm ocd hitting full swing... i find myself triggered by my pocd again... and i feel like a horrible person... i tried not to post... i tried to do what people told me... but right now i feel absolutely horrible... I genuinely feel so guilty and wanna exile myself from society... Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p3dophilic activity and inappropriately messaging women and minors and abusing others and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ s*xual HOCD situations that triggered me immensely...) When I was 19, in an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person for supporting trump, i vented to her again because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way...

I have this intense urge to need to confess something about my past to my boyfriend. We’ve been dating almost two years and when we first started talking, I had told him about my past. I cannot fully remember everything I told him, as it was a while ago. One time I remembered something that I didn’t tell him and confessed because I felt so guilty. This was something that I actually didn’t tell him because I had forgotten about it. I am having a similar situation now where I told him about this person, but I don’t think I went into detail (I don’t remember if I did or didn’t), but I have a memory of me telling him I didn’t want to go into details about it and him saying that’s okay (I don’t fully know if this is a real memory or fake one). I now have been obsessing over this situation from my past and feel like I need to confess or else I’m a bad girlfriend, but at the same time he told me that if I remember something I don’t need to tell him unless I really can’t help it. He also said that he’s not upset about my past and I’m the one who needs to forgive myself, which I know he is right about but I don’t know how to do that without feeling like I need to confess. Any tips on how to manage these thoughts and how to stop confession compulsions?

I came across an older post on here about someone saying they gave a name to their OCD. I finally stuck a name to mine. Originally I was gonna go with "Ria", named after my friend at work that stresses me out and "Mr. Hyde" but that was too cliché for me. I went with "The Bug" named after a song by the same name by the band Crumb. It's been some days but it feels like it makes a difference already. It distances myself from it and giving it a name feels like it's a different entity that isn't me. I recommend you do the same if you haven't done so yet.

Super triggering set of events that’s been unfolding for some months now. I’m going to try and not seek reassurance but grounded advice or support is appreciated. A couple months ago, I had a close friendship with a female friend who was also new to town and we had a nice friend group. I developed feelings for her, articulated that to her, and she kind of breadcrumbed me until there wasn’t much of a friendship left unfortunately. I had a conversation with her about the impact that the situation had on me and the toll it took on my mental health. I was calm but assertive and was proud that I stood up for myself. This was sad but hey that happens sometimes as you’re growing and making new friends/trying to find your people. I took space this summer from that group and it was awesome. I felt so much better, my ocd symptoms decreased, I met a bunch of new people, things were good. I am now trying to jump back into my grad school community of students and I had felt a weird tension between me and some subsets of people. Yesterday I was told that the people she is friends with say that I am “unsafe to be around” and that I “blew up at her.” This hurts for a number of reasons. All I did was say that she hurt me by not communicating. I was vulnerable and I feel like I’m getting ostracized and dismissed as a nut case. I never ever spoke ill of her to this community. I kept my opinions to myself and tried to move on. Add on the harm ocd/real events ocd/ relationship ocd and I truly feel at my lowest. There’s certainly times where I have let my emotions and ocd dictate my reactions to situations like this in the past, but from the beginning of this one I made it a point to notice what was coming up and calmly respond with action based in my values. I am super proud of how I handled it and stood up for myself. Idk I’m human and I understand that everyone is entitled to their thoughts and feeling but this just feels messed up and disrespectful. Trying to get this out here because it’s hard to talk about rn

Can someone please talk to me about something, but I want someone 20+ and someone who knows well about Pocd

Has anyone else ever had a groinal response that they physically can’t tell apart from real arousal??? I have had it the past few days and when I’m genuinely aroused the initial stages feel exactly the same as groinal response and it’s making me so depressed 😔

Hello, I'm a student from China. I've been struggling with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for several months, and I want to talk about my situation. I wonder if any of you have dogs—my problem is related to dogs. At first, I was worried about whether a dog had licked me and if I would get rabies and die. Then it generalized to walking my dog outside: I’d fear that the dog might lick someone else and cause their death. Now, I have obsessive thoughts about whether I accidentally let a dog lick someone in the past, and what I’d do if that person died. These thoughts pop up from time to time. Because of this, I’m afraid to touch dogs, and I even dare not take my dog out for walks. I want to receive CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) treatment, but there are no professional doctors who provide psychological treatment in my area—almost all available options are medication-based. What should I do?

Hello friends! working through a breakup right now with someone I really cared for and ultimately walked away from myself for many reasons. It’s been two months of 0 contact, not a word, but he’s all I think about from the minute I wake up to the minute I fall asleep. Constant, agonizing, good feelings and bad, replaying the breakup and the good moments. He’s not unique - this happens every time I break up with anyone, regardless of closeness (we were very close this time and the breakup was pretty abrupt), and it takes me triple the time it takes others to mentally move on. Anyone experience this too, or any suggestions? It feels like being haunted and I develop stronger attachment to the person after we break up than I ever feel actually dating them. I actually left because I didn’t feel like I loved him!

What are things you would want portrayed in a fictional character with ocd?

Twtw Feel sick Back when I was 21 I roleplayed with someone onlineand I can't remember whether or not I asked them their age first or if it was them or me that initiated it. Anyway like the next day they sent me a pic and I asked wait are u an adult because I panicked because they looked young. They said yes and the next or a few weeks after that soon they'd turn nineteen. I felt relieved and kept in contact with them but continuously felt uneasy about the whole thing. There were times when I should have reached out to their friends to ask if this person lied to me or not but I didn't. I kept asking this person if they were an adult and they kept saying yes. However I kept growing more and more suspicious because of their behavior and because still they looked young. Ig the part that's scariest is that on September 15 ( I started talking to them end July and kept interacting with them until either October or November) I searched what the average age is of a high schooler ( or graduate) in the UK. Because apparently they were still in school. And the search said sixteen. I found out recently that in the UK tho some people go for an additional two years like college or college prep idkThat same day I asked them ( can't remember if it was before or after I searched this) if they were actually 18 or I asked them if I had asked them if they were 18 before we roleplayed.(or both can't remember) Also it was weird because when I told them I didn't want to roleplay anymore they freaked out and said they we're actually going to turn 20 soon. . I feel awful and disgusting. I know now this( was four years ago) that I would be a lot more vigilant if I was single and trying to mingle I just feel really gross. I feel like I need to confess more details of this to my bf. He's heard the basics but not all the details. I feel awful.

Been coping for over two decades. Was off medication for a few months and then started back up again. Cant stop obsessing over worst case scenarios with house repairs and hypotheticals of what could break or go wrong. Any tips?

For the past couple month I have had an obsessive thought and come up with crazy scenarios in my head of my boyfriend cheating with one of my friends (we are no longer friends because of this). It seems like the second I am not with him I have these thoughts. Initially I kept it to myself then i began accusing him of cheating or just shutting down whenever he would ask why me and her haven’t hung out. He began to notice. One day he relised I checked his phone while he was sleeping and we had a huge argument not because I checked his phone but because he believed i don’t trust him which I truly do it just my thought can’t help but believe this. After this we both unadded people of the opposite sex on snapchat. I began therapy and was diagnosed with ocd this targeted my relationship becoming rocd. We have been fine. She then unadded me off of everything and took me out of her highlights all because my boyfriend unadded her. So i questioned her and all of her reasoning seemed to be about him. Anytime I was around her It’s like my body went into fight or flight and it made me sick. This is when these thoughts started. I made it clear I don’t want him to have her on snap which he doesn’t I even went as far as blocking her on all of his social media. We both added our old friends back excluding her. But this past week I have had this thought that he has added her or just unadds her when I am not around. I really want to check his phone but i know it will reset the compulsion. How do I stop this thought and wanting to check his phone. He is more than perfect and has given me every reason to trust him oh and have I mentioned we have been together for 4 years. Anytime he does something nice or says things nice I question it and my thought goes to what have you done. Well now he has mentioned her that we aren’t friends also she got him a beer that’s rare a couple of months ago he was like oh this is the only thing i thank her for. Also he mentioned her cats name when talking about cats. In my mind these are subliminal messages that he can possibly still be in contact. Is this normal for me to be looking for little things like this? I know it’s crazy but he has been speaking about marriage recently and how in the next two years he would love to get married I believe him but what if he only says these things to make me think he isn’t cheating.

I've been trying to date again and with OCD, it's been difficult as I'm sure you can imagine. I had a date with someone that we had planned for a fortnight, but they cancelled on the day. They didn't text me for a week so I sent them a message asking if I did anything wrong. They said I didn't, so I asked that they just tell me next time. I genuinely wasn't mad, I was just upset that after sending messages every day, a week would pass without anything. I thought I had hurt them in some way. After explaining everything I have said just now, I received a one word message. "Okay." Now I'm over apologising because I know they're upset. In my head I'm asking why I don't ever get an apology.

Hey y'all Just wanted to ask - I've been having sexual intrusive thoughts for many months now and I'm in recovery, luckily things have gotten way way more manageable but one issue still remains There are moments where you 100% don't want these thoughts to appear. And my brain has learned, through weeks of avoidance and checking, that every time I go and try engaging with anything sexual, I must wonder about every single thing that's happening. What do I mean by this? Example: You start experiencing legitimate arousal that aligns with your desires, identity etc. Immediately, your brain goes "Okay, but did you just have an intrusive thought just now or what? What if you did?" so you check, which only leads to the intrusive thought actually appearing. Sometimes I have this weird effect where I feel like I had an image or thought pop into my head but I can't tell whether it actually happened, even if I don't think it did. I'm so hyper-vigilant about my own thoughts that I basically find intrusive thoughts where there were none. It's really messed me up, because I feel like I can't actually enjoy things that I used to before, and I'm not even that anxious because of ERP which makes this even more confusing. It feels like the intrusive thoughts have become "normal" or "fine" which I know they haven't, but then, I still used to be able to engage with sexuality and enjoy it to some extent, even if I had intrusive thoughts. That ability has gone down over time, especially with ERP for some reason, and I don't know why. I'm scared that this means a genuine change in preferences or paraphilia, but like... I know it probably doesn't? Has anyone in recovery from Pure OCD / sexual OCD had anything similar happen? Thanks in advance.

TW - Groinal Responses 18+ Also tmi As of the last week or two, I have no idea why or how, but the groinal responses have gotten so, so much worse... Today was so bad... And I'm still having a very hard time. Like, I don't even know if I want to say how bad it really is. It's beyond just obsessing about it; I have to try to distract myself so something doesn't actually happen from the groinal response (I'm intentionally being vague bc I don't want to say much about the situation). I'm seriously struggling... and I don't know what to do or how it can change... This is tmi too, but years ago I had another issue regarding groinal responses. And even just the thought of it made my body do something I would have thought couldn't have happened just from thinking and worrying about it happening [the thing my body did back then isn't as distressing as I'm worried about my body doing now] (and yes, I'm intentionally being vague again) My mind and body are very against me right now...