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what medication has helped your OCD the most?

im really struggling with being without my phone because i have to be alone with my thoughts and they just feel rampant full of fear and discomfort whenever i dont have an activity to distract me. i know this is horrible but im not sure how to get out. i know the only way to get out of this is to face the discomfort and build tolerance by slowly being on my phone less and less, but im having so much trouble building up the courage to do so and taking the plunge just wanted to know if anybody's fallen in this hole of feeling like you need to be constantly preoccupied so that you dont ruminate on thoughts and managed to escape and defeat this compulsion to avoid discomfort. or if you're struggling with it right now, how are you feeling? it'd be nice to know i'm not alone i feel bad because my OCD is around Christianity/God and it only makes me feel worse by making me feel like im avoiding God intentionally

I keep telling myself I’m not alone in my intrusive thoughts. Other People also have intrusive thoughts. Mine tonight are acting up again and I feel genuinely disgusted. but I keep telling myself: YOURE NOT GONNA RUIN MY LIFE intrusive thoughts!! because they represent my fear and anxiety like what if I’m this or that or what if I secretly this or that!! Shut up intrusive thoughts. Listen. All of you, I have them too. inappropriate ones too, and I know that’s not what I want. so I’m telling u too! Let’s all come together and agree we ARENT ALONE in this (please cuz I lowkey need it hear it 😓)

I’m spiraling so bad I need some advice. I’m sorry it’s a little long 🥲💔💔💔 I have an ex Liam I’ve been trying to get back together with. In the midst of our chaos and fights and makeups I’ve noticed my ex Austin a LOT. I don’t even care to not name drop anymore I’m so sick of it. Austin and I had a civil breakup years ago, and have been well acquainted since. I started wondering about Austin as if he’s a safe zone, like something I can fantasize about instead of being in the chaos. But I started wondering, do I want to be with him??? Why do I feel like if he asked me out I’d definitely say yes? I even gave him a sort of look at work to see if he felt a vibe and that’s why he was looking or if I was just completely wrong (which I’m very okay with). He has a girlfriend he apparently really doesn’t like and for some reason I keep fantasizing about him leaving her for me but I don’t do ANYTHING to act on it besides that look to see if I was just going crazy. But now I’m so worried because Liam found out about this when it first happened and laughed in my face and ridiculed me, saying have a nice life with him even after I explained it was probably OCD. I know I shouldn’t get back with Liam but in the event I do, I feel horrible about this Austin thing. What do I do??? Is it really just the “safe zone” I think it is?? I told Liam I wouldn’t do anything “weird” anymore and get better in the slightest sliver of hope he’s given me that we’ll get back together, but in all the chaos I chose to give that look and my guilt is horrendous

18+ only OCD making me check my photos again for no reason and got triggered by random photos of someone I used to be friends with in a judo gi and jeans and wearing the hat they always wore and they'd be 17 in the photos and of course there's nothing inappropriate in the slightest but I feel like I should delete it and saw more photos with me and friends and will delete them and they're not at all bad of course, just like a photo of me at the gym with some friends or at the kebab shop or the judo thing. OCD twisting me making a Baldur's Gate character with hair like Rogue from X Men and I'm so scared it's inappropriate even though I'm fairly certain I barely played the character and maybe didn't even create them and I think I just liked the hair style. Had to delete normal drawing of Batman and Robin because I'm scared the artist is a bad person. Had to delete tweet screenshot I thought was funny because I think the person's bad. Had Hal Jordan Green Lantern transformation thing in videos and remember someone making a joke about it looking like a magical girl transformation and scared it's a bad reference and need to delete it. Triggered by Olivia Rodrigo with a penguin in my photos and I only saved it because the penguins cute so I cut/cropped her out of it. Worried about someone's pfp in screenshot of joke tweet and zoomed in and it's fine, just some random character with big arms. Happened again and I zoomed in and it's just a tweet about a cat appearing when they made lasagne with someone quote tweeting it with "He's real!" but I'm really scared they're a bad person and they're pfp is just the face of some random character and I need to delete it to be safe. Had to delete joke screenshot of tweet talking about The Thing's... thing. Got really scared someone's Spider-Man pfp with anime character is bad and deleted it to be safe even though it's entirely fine. Scared about someone's pfp in screenshot of cat just sitting in the microwave and it's just of character smoking cigarette and like I need to delete it to be safe. OCD being weird about stick figure joke drawing of I think n*ked woman friend sent me on Instagram and trying to say it's bad. Triggered by comic panel of Bruce Wayne as a kid and then Dick Grayson as a kid and juxtaposing Alfred's reaction to them both saying they're all alone now and was peeing or had just finished peeing and was trying to poop and OCD's messing with. OCD putting sh*t in my head. Triggered by DM's I sent someone about someone they followed being horrific and them being really mean and awful in response and then I started to doubt myself and even f*cking apologised to them before coming to my senses. Triggered by screenshots I took of someone I thought was safe to prove to myself that they said things that would've made me think exactly that so OCD couldn't mess with me and I keep saying stop it to OCD being awful. Wondering if I'm overreacting about the people's pfp's because they're all normal but just scared they're bad people because they're drawn/animated and assuming the worst about them.

Basically,, I was out with my friend and she mentioned something to me about like she just brought it up while we were waiting for our food and she said like oh do you know if it’s normal if sometimes like I remember something that happened years ago or a year ago, and I don’t know if I dreamt it or not and she was trying to ask like does she have any problems and I kinda I didn’t get mad at her. But I got mad in my head because you know as someone who has false memory OCD I was like is she trying to claim to have it because I know sometimes she did make comments like that she has OCD in a laughing way and that annoyed me and now I wanna bring it up to her again and say like what you said like it’s normal to not remember something like you don’t have any illnesses but at the same time I think she already forgot and I don’t wanna bring it up again, so what should I do by again? I cannot let it now. I cannot just let it rest because like I need her to know I hate when she like tries to claim to have something which I struggle with.

Today was a good day. I am on a long overdue paid work leave and that has soften my nerves considerably. Working a 9-5 with mental illness is truly exhausting for me and I am wondering how other people can have a family, work, and have a social life... then it downed on me they are probably not spending 4 hours a day worrying to the point of being housebound, they allow themselves to be imperfect, they accept their emotions and discomfort, they try not to judge their hard days as life defining events... they allow themselves to be human, wrong, scared, anxious, sad, look silly. I want to be like that! And I've been thinking recently, what the hell is stopping me from trying again and again even if it SUCKS, other than myself ?(apart from this concoction of brain structure, genetics, life experiences ofc) I was told by a psychologist in an ED unit in the past that I have a hard time accepting my emotions and she seemed concerned for me and urged me to get proper help for my OCD since they couldn't treat me as she didn't think I had an ED but that my OCD was affecting my eating. She told me to uncover the why behind it (possible trauma or just biology). That was when I had a small wake up call that: 1) I can suffer through waiting times in my country's public mental health care system therefore I am not even that weak 2) My healing would start as easily as simply allowing my emotions to be felt without judgement eventually 3) I have been asking the wrong questions and getting treatement that wasn't helping my ocd and social struggles much but did some wonders for my depression at the time since my therapist was kind and accepting but didn't challenge me enough with the behavioral therapy approach 4) It planted the seed that maybe I do deserve to take up some space and that a lot more is in my power than I used to think (this one was key to start questioning myself and feeling how uncomfortable and distressing every question was) So that brings me away from my fantasy world and in today where I got to get in touch with my child self by petting and feeding the neighborhood cats that are chilling in our yard. I realized I have barely touched them out of disgust and anxiety even though I used to be obsessed with animals, especially cats and dogs. I have been losing parts of what I used to enjoy, trying to fit in with work life and the usual life stressors that inevitably come up. OCD has been shrinking my life in ways that make me blind to it's grip. I can't remember even if my contamination fear was that bad a week ago. I hadn't even named the theme as contamination until I had time to rest a bit from work and daily commutes and panic. Anyway, I am so glad I did all these things that made me super uncomfortable and touched stray cats without freaking out completely at the time. That's all. 🔸️🔸️🔸️ I am looking for any lighthearted comedy film recommendations today. 🎥 I played a video game after months today and it was an interesting experience. The game is called 'The Stillness of Life' on my Switch. It's point and click game about an old woman named Talma who lives in a farm away from the big city. She takes care of her crops and farm animals, she gets tired if she is not fed, she gets letters from her family, she walks slowly, she takes life day by day. 🐐🐓🐣🌱👵 I wonder where this game is going. I recommend this game so much right now.

I’m watching Lightyear and something in the movie triggered a moral-scrupulosity loop for me. There’s a really sweet storyline involving Buzz’s friend, who falls in love with a woman, gets engaged, gets married, has a child, and grows old with her family. It struck me because it reminded me of an uncomfortable conversation I had with a colleague some time ago. My colleague was complaining about gay and trans people and about children supposedly being “taught to be gay" by LGBTQIA + teachers. I disagreed with her, but I also desperately wanted the conversation to end because we were at work and I didn’t want to have a political/religious argument with a colleague. The problem is that she can be extremely relentless in conversations. Even when I try to politely disagree or I stay silent she keeps going. I’ve had similar experiences with her making comments about foreigners, vegans, other religions, etc. During the conversation about LGBTQIA+ people, I tried to explain that when I was growing up, there were children’s books that introduced kids to different kinds of families and circumstances — divorce, single-parent households, different backgrounds, etc. My point was basically that children learning that people live differently doesn’t somehow change who the child is. It can simply teach them that different people and families exist. Also it can make LGBTQIA+ kids feel free when the time comes in their teens that we start liking people romantically. But because I was speaking spontaneously and trying to get out of an uncomfortable conversation, I muddled my explanation. I know that there's a strong chance that in my muddled speech I could've lied by omission or confusion that I read books on gay parenting as a child. Ever since then, my OCD has latched onto the possibility that my muddled explanation may have made it sound as though I personally remembered reading children’s books about gay parents when I was young. Now my OCD keeps saying: I (accidentally) made it sound like I personally saw children’s books about two mothers when I was young? she interpreted me that way? I didn’t correct that possible misunderstanding, thus I was lying by omission? Should I go back and clarify exactly what I meant months later? There’s another layer too. I sometimes feel enormous guilt if I don’t defend my actual political or moral beliefs “correctly.” I start thinking I’ve been a bad ally, that people will assume I agree with prejudiced views, or that some imaginary audience is going to expose or “cancel” me for not saying exactly the right thing. Watching Lightyear made me think, “THIS is what I was trying to explain.” The storyline isn’t sexual like my colleague was implying children book stories on the LGBTQIA+. It’s basically: she fell in love, got engaged, married, had a family. The exact same storyline could have been written for a heterosexual couple. Children simply see that another kind of family exists. And immediately my OCD turned that realization into: "youre a liar (even if it was due to confusion)! You arent moral at all. You let someone misunderstand you." On the day of the chat with the colleague I spoke to chatgpt about the incident & was advised not to reopen the conversation just to obtain certainty or morally “clean up” everything I said. So I tried to sit with it. Now it pops up again during this film months later and OCD wants the case reopened. Does anyone else with moral scrupulosity get this urge to revisit conversations or (possible) mistakes and make sure you were completely accurate, morally consistent, and impossible to misunderstand? Or feel bad when there was a misunderstanding liar. It feels like OCD turns every imperfect conversation into a courtroom transcript.

My best friend has brought up to me a few times now that sometimes they feel like I don't care about them or don't reciprocate as much curiosity/affection in our friendship. The first time they told me this I understood feeling like this. I'm generally a more reserved person who has a hard time expressing myself. I apologized obviously and since then I feel like I've been more attuned to their needs in the friendship. I tell them I love them, miss them, ask questions about their day and what they're doing, etc. Which is why it surprised me a few weeks ago when they brought up the same thing. I felt confused because I'd felt engaged with them, yet they said I never stick to my word and our friendship was very one-sided. I felt like maybe I just didn't realize and so once more I've been trying very hard to show that I love them and express that through my words and questions. I feel like they always show the same amount of interest in me, if sometimes less enthusiastic than I am toward them. Yesterday they posted some stuff on their Instagram story that I immediately knew was about me. It was right after I started texting them once I got off of work. They reposted something about wishing someone would be more curious about their life. Then right after that they said on their story something along the lines of "Every time I think about it I don't deserve this kind of treatment but I keep thinking there's another chance." I just feel like an awful person because I really try but it seems like it will never be enough. I love them so much and don't want to lose them but I think I'm just a bad friend.

Imagine a person learning to ride a bicycle. Falling is not proof that they are bad at life or deserve pain; it is part of how balance is learned. Each wobble gives the body information: adjust, try again, keep moving. I sometimes wonder whether many of us with OCD were raised with a strong sense that our actions matter. We may have learned early to be accountable, to think carefully about consequences, and to ask whether we might have hurt someone or done something wrong. Those qualities are not bad. In many ways, they reflect conscience, empathy, and responsibility. The problem begins when the mind moves from, “Did I make a mistake?” to “There must be harm,” and then to, “There must be punishment.” OCD can make that chain feel urgent and morally necessary. It trains the brain to repeatedly analyze an action, assume danger or wrongdoing, and demand certainty, confession, reassurance, avoidance, or self-punishment. But a thought is not evidence. Uncertainty is not proof of harm. Feeling guilty is not the same as being guilty. The reality is that mistakes are part of being human. Life is full of imperfect words, incomplete information, awkward moments, and choices we later wish we had handled differently. For people of faith, life can be understood as a place of learning and formation—a training ground. A trainee is expected to make errors. Falling does not mean the training has failed; often, it means the training is happening. So when OCD says, “Something may have gone wrong, and you must solve it or punish yourself,” perhaps we can practice another response: “Maybe something went wrong. Maybe it did not. Either way, I can tolerate not knowing perfectly. I do not need to punish myself to be a good person. I can learn, continue living, and allow myself to make human mistakes.” Recovery does not mean becoming careless or losing your values. It means keeping your conscience without letting OCD turn it into a courtroom where you are always the accused. Accepting the possibility of imperfection can feel frightening at first. But it creates room to rejoin life: to learn, connect, act, grow, and yes, make more mistakes. That is not failure. That is what it means to be alive.

I’m not looking for advice - I just feel trash today. My partner proposed to me around 2 weeks ago and almost straight away after I said “yes” the second worst OCD spiral I have ever had hit like a freight train. All the classic ROCD thought spirals mixed in with some real fears and concerns about our relationship. Problem being of course with OCD I don’t know what’s up and what’s down. I’m so stressed I’ve basically stopped eating and sleeping properly. I’m so confused, all my feelings feel like mush. Whether I actually love him and should power through or if it was doomed from the beginning and I ignored “signs”. Why I’m staying with him and are those reasons good enough. He is everything I want on paper but I feel like something is “off”. Am I torn because I love him and I truly feel like our relationship could go somewhere and be good or is it because leaving is the harder choice? Have I ruined this entirely? The long and short of it is that I separated from him last night. I decided it’s not fair to put him through this, confessing every thought and hurting him. I had a burst of relief but also this morning an anxiety wave of “am I doing the right thing”. Truth is I really don’t know if I want to marry him/ be with him and considering it both ways feels awful. I’m going to take some time, do some ERP and ACT with a therapist and then make a decision. I don’t really know why I’m posting.

Hi!! So I’m 18 and I struggle very badly with agoraphobia, and while this may sound silly a lot of it stems from having a chronic disease and fearing that I’ll be in pain in public, I very badly want (and need) to get a job and I need advice for working on it. I’ve decided I no longer can take living in the situation I am and I want to work on moving.

I’m new on this app, I’m 20 years old, and I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety around 2017-2018 and OCD and BPD in 2023. I feel alone, 24/7. It doesn’t matter who I’m around, I just have an overwhelming fear that no matter what, I will never be happy. I constantly feel like a burden to the people around me and try my hardest to get them to sympathize without trying to sound like I’m shifting the blame on my diagnosis. It’s really hard, as if people don’t believe me, or care to understand? Or that mental illness just isn’t real? I don’t know. I don’t have any health insurance and I really need a therapist, so I’m hoping this app can be a helpful outlet. I guess I just want to hear everyone’s advice and stories, and if it’s possible that I can ever overcome any of this? My dad also has OCD and has been in and out of my life for as long as I can remember. It makes me struggle with relationships and friendships very badly. I think everyday my boyfriend and the friends I do have, just hate me. Especially my family. I could go on &’ on. But for now, I will just see if this reaches anybody and I would love to hear feedback. Thank you :)

My biggest compulsion is rumination and it’s been ruling my life. I know the way to improve my ocd is going to be to stop ruminating, but it feels like I just can’t, like I have no control over my own thoughts. Plus, it feels like the logical thing to do too. Like, how do I solve my problems by not trying to solve my problems? Any advice on how to stop?

Not sure if I agree with the term “Conqueror,” but I do feel better. If you are thinking of starting the journey of therapy and/or medication - here is my testimony. I realized I had been struggling with OCD since I was young. As an adult who now has a degree in Psychology and a license as a Qualified Mental Health Professional (QMHP), as I got older I began to understand what had been going on. I have watched my own parent struggle with the same thing AND Tourette’s my entire life. I tried for years to manage without assistance - just like my parent. If they could do it, why can’t I? Or so I thought. I let myself think that for probably 3-4 years as I noticed myself and my OCD consistently getting worse. It was “okay” for me if I was only affecting me…. Then I met the man I am going to marry. We discussed my suspicion of my undiagnosed OCD and he has been nothing but supportive. I can’t say enough good things about this man. And as my OCD got worse, I watched his concern for me grow. I was then struggling with my own brain and the thought of me negatively affecting him and our relationship. We took a vacation and I had some really tough times and he spent a lot of the vacation trying to accommodate me and make me feel comfortable. After that trip, I made the decision to address it. I went to the doctor - and he went with me. He assured me he would continue to be supportive and do the same things he had been even if I wasn’t ready to talk to a professional because I had already said I was scared. I did it. I took the first step. I got a referral. I met with another professional. I started the medication (also scary), and then I downloaded NOCD (also scary). While I have an incredible support system at home, this community has also been very helpful in my journey. I’ve made posts; I’ve commented on posts. I started sessions (also scary). I’ve done the work for myself and the people I love. And things have gotten so much more enjoyable. It’s still there, and I still have my moments, but I am able to better respond and communicate. I don’t think I’ve conquered it, but I’m definitely giving it a run for its money. You can be scared and still do the things while scared - the outcome might pleasantly surprise you.

I struggle with relationship ocd as is, but I just want to know if I’m being dramatic or if this seriously is bad. For one, we’ve been together for almost two years but he rarely remembers our monthly anniversary’s but I try not to think too much into that because maybe it isn’t a huge deal? I’ve forgotten once but the one time I did I had something very serious going on, but I still felt horrible. He doesn’t really seem interested in anything I ever say like I’ll be excited about something and he’ll just say “nice” or “oh” it’s always oh. Whenever something is bothering him, completely unrelated to me, he takes it out on me, for an example, someone he used to be with I guess contacted him or something and he got super mad at ME?? He went on and on about how he wasn’t sure if I even loved him and accused me of lots of things and then told me he needed a break from me, which ofc I said was ok then out of no where he asked to go on a date and never apologized, and he continues to do it over and over again, and ever since the very first time I’m always too scared to say much of anything to him because I’m scared he’ll just immediately end things with me. I’m getting to a point where I feel alone and even in a relationship and it’s very hard.

Does anybody psychiatrist keep prescribing them anti psychotics LMAOOO I only explained about being paranoid. I told him about I would assume I said my intrusive thoughts out loud or typing them. I would be convinced people could hear my conversations when talking about intrusive thoughts I mean i understand but lol

Trying my best to recover alone right now and it blows i’m ngl. I have a therapist but she’s not an OCD therapist & we meet every other week. i’m just kinda practicing doing nothing in response to my thoughts and it’s sooo difficult to avoid latching on and thinking about it over and over and making myself anxious over it. Part of me is scared of recovery as well. it’s hard to confront my fears and i’m terrified of change. i know it will be good for me and i WANT to be better, i want to be able to function! but i’m still so afraid. putting one foot in front of the other anyways though and pushing through this stuff because i know i can do it. i’m also afraid of recovering because if i do and im functional and happy then it makes me feel like anything ive ever been through wasn’t real. i think ive gone through so much over the past like. 10 years that i don’t know who i am without it and i almost find comfort in suffering? i know it sounds silly but maybe others can relate. i want to get to know who i am when the world isn’t constantly crashing down around me lol

The way your stomach drops or aches and you genuinely feel unwell during a flare up.. Like the mental anguish is actually causing me physical pain. The OCD/anxiety/depression cycle makes me sick. It’s not all in my head. 😢

So i lived with my boyfriend and his sister for a year and in that year my boyfriends sister was just very picky about things she always had something to say to me but never held herself to the same standards like if i left something out she would be upset but if she did it it was fine and recently we moved into his grandmas house and she said she was going to also and she’s just been doing it again like i put my babies diaper in the trash not paying attention and she was like i don’t want you putting trash in the garage whrn it’s already full and i was like okay i didn’t mean to i wasn’t paying attention so i will fix it from now on and then she was saying how i’m oblivious and how a peice of my hair fell out and got wet and now the sink is stained and i was just so mad i was like you only ever pick on me but never my boyfriend (her brother) and she was like well that between me and my brother but whenever it’s something i do she doesn’t care who’s around she will do it right infront of everyone like it’s just so frustrating to the point where i’m scared to even do anything in the house anymore and i’m stressing myself out so much because i’m always making sure i’m not doing something that’s gonna bother her like the other day i ran outside to grab something and she was like let’s not leave the door open and then 5 minutes later she left it open like it’s so infuriating and now i’ve started obsessively thinking about what to say if she confronts me about something new or what i could have said and i just keep doing it and i’m so stressed out i have a 8 month old who is getting into everything and just doesn’t want to be held at all and i’m just so so stressed out i’ve tried telling my boyfriend and he says to just ignore her but i’m going crazy because my body is always in fight or flight i don’t know what to do