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I think it 100% stopped me from becoming a mother. Suffering from POCD has meant i am childless. I have spent most of my time actively avoiding children, nevermind becoming pregnant. Thats a hard one to sit with. Especially now, i have the ocd under control. Even after successfully completing treatment. And having real results. The scars that OCD left have been huge. And I guess, one of the biggest things in life it stopped me doing, was becoming a parent. I will likely have menopause within the next decade or so. And I have no plans of being an older mother. And of course, you need to meet the right person to have a kid with. And then, id be terrified of POCD returning. Its no joke. OCD can be terrifying and life altering. Even now I have it under control, I still dont go out my way to be around kids. Probably because for so many years it was such a big issue for me. So im left with the scars of OCD. And it robbed me of ever knowing what its actually like, to have your own child.

Hello! My name is Ben. I’ve struggled with OCD pretty much my whole life but it’s pretty much taken over my life within the last few years. Everything from things needing to be just right, organization, crippling fears of getting sick, spirals about taking medications, false memories, checking locks and fire hazards, dark intrusive / taboo thoughts, and everything else in between. The last few weeks have been extremely difficult for me to the point where my mental health has fully declined and I feel so hopeless. I just started Zoloft and I’m really hoping it helps me ease the thoughts a little bit (or help me manage them better). Anyways, if anyone wants to talk or share advice or support, I’d appreciate it. This app feels like it could do a lot for me but it still feels really scary.

i’ve been obsessing and driving myself insane being so extremely anxious about getting old and passing away. i think what truly scares me is the fact that i have no idea what happens after death, which also plays into my anxiety around religion. if i believe in god, then i should know what happens right? i shouldn’t be scared, he tells you not to be scared, he tells you what happens. so then that leads me to believe that i’m not being a good enough believer, which then leads me down the “i’m going to hell” path. its just a never ending spiral. i’m only 19 i hate that im so stressed about getting old, i really don’t want to grow old and die. i really don’t. it’s terrifying man. but at the same time the thought of living for eternity, wether it’s here on earth or up in heaven is also EXTREMELY terrifying. like HELLO?? ETERNITY?? it’s just all so scary. everything about life and death has been so terrifying lately. i hate that’s im always wishing to be “normal” how do you guys feel about aging? is it scary, or are you just okay with the fact that it’s natural and it happens to everyone. i would like to have that mindset honestly. hopefully one day ill get there! anyway, thanks for reading, i hope everyone is having a better day than yesterday.

Hello I am going to be 27 and in 2026 I got diagnosed with anxiety and ocd. Now my basic decision making skills are not there. Basic sense of judgement is lost what to do what not to do everything is confused. Because I don’t want to do something when I am frustrated or over emotional then I’ll do something wrong that I’ll regret later. I whole my life couldn’t say what I wanted to say. The whole world seems dangerous to me because of hyper arousal but I do have thinking mind with lots of questions. I am exhausted to a level that I don’t know what to do or don’t want to do anything. Due to oc and anxiety I failed in so many things like couldn’t drive couldn’t sit for my first bakery class and many more. Its not even that i enjoyed those classes when i took all those workshops i felt that there is no feeling inside me like i am a wall ( an example) who has lost all interest. You want to try this - i dont know or want to try makeup- not interested like i am really tired and seeing news from all over world is making me more hopeless. Many People not all ofc continue with lives but i somehow can’t. I don’t feel connected anywhere even in family functions or with friends. I don’t know what to do. Please help Thanks.

Warning: mentions of sex This basically started with me trying to improve my sex life with a guy I was with and then I saw someone say they couldn’t orgasm during sex either and that’s how they realized they were gay. Cue the spiral. I did research, took quizzes, was checking for attraction but got freaked out because initially it felt like I was attracted to every woman I saw, even women I knew who I never thought about that way before. I got really freaked out by comphet because that meant I couldn’t feel relief by thinking about my past attraction history. After months of this I’m wondering if this is actually ocd if those compulsion didn’t provide relief. I think the only one that does is reading people’s stories on this app or the HOCD subreddit who are similar to mine and have recovered.

i feel like such a failure. i went to therapy last year via the nhs and it helped massively like genuinely my pocd and gender ocd and other taboo obsessions have genuinely gotten better and i feel like i can cope with them but with sexual orientation i feel so stuck. that has not improved. i don’t know if it’s because we didn’t give it as much attention or if it’s just because this fear is real. i don’t know what to do at this point. it sounds crazy to say because like pocd was the scariest theme i’ve ever had but this one is breaking me and i feel like it shouldn’t be? i want to go back in to therapy i feel like i cannot live like this but i just feel like the biggest failure because i know what to do. i know im supposed to do ERP & i know how this works but i have never been more stuck. i keep sinking back in to the same compulsions. i believe the fear is real and im just using ocd as a way to put off accepting it. i cannot afford a good weekly therapist. im a broke student. if i go to the GP what will happen will i get put back in talking therapy? will they even take me because ive been through it. will it even help? i feel like i know what to do and im still not getting better. i feel so hopeless i literally am depressed and ruminating all day. it’s all consuming. has anyone ever been back to talking therapy in the uk?

I've been dealing with intense paranoia around my family's safety for as long as I can remember. I vividly recall having an intense panic attack as a kid because I was so convinced my sleeping away from home meant my mom and sister were going to be killed in their sleep by a home invader. And I've continued to experience these gutteral fears well into my adulthood. I'm now 29. Just a bit ago I had a panic attack after getting home super late from work, aware my mom already went to bed, and her velcro-dog decided she wanted to sleep in my bed. We have 5 dogs, one of which is my own velcro-dog, but then another came in to sleep with me. And then another, until I had 4 of our 5 dogs passed out around me and the panic set in so intensely I couldn't move and kept asking my mom's dog "Is mom okay?", hoping she would give a reaction to the question as if she understood. I shook and cried and couldn't bring myelf to get out of bed for over half an hour until I finally shot up and went to listen outside her door. I didn't want to wake her but I also really wanted to just say "mom" and hear a sleepy grunt to quell the fear. When I didn't here a snore or a cough like I feel I hear so often, I went into her doorway with my phone flash on and watched her breathe while asleep until I could calm down. I spent over an hour in panic and have been beating myself up for it after calming down, but there was no dissipating the thought naturally. I would say in my head, "She's not dead." "She's okay." "She'll be awake when you get up, just go to sleep." There was no shutting up that voice. Has anyone else dealt with this? Any advice?

I’m new here and starting with a NOCD therapist, and I wanted to share what I’ve been dealing with because the last few months have been exhausting. My anxiety has become extremely centered around my relationship. When I’m activated, it feels like my brain absolutely NEEDS certainty. Do I actually love my partner? Does she really love/want me? Can I trust her? Is she the right person for me? Is this anxiety or intuition? Should I stay or leave? Why don’t I feel connected right now? Why did I feel completely different yesterday? I can spend hours trying to answer these questions. I’ve struggled with checking, reassurance seeking, monitoring social media/phones, watching for potential “threats” like other men, analyzing my partner’s behavior, replaying past events, researching relationship psychology, asking friends/family/ChatGPT for opinions, and constantly checking my own emotional state to see if I feel happy, loving, connected, attracted, or “like myself.” One of the hardest parts is that reassurance never seems to stick. My partner can show me love and affection, and sometimes I still struggle to actually receive or trust it. My brain can immediately find another question or another piece of uncertainty. I’ve also noticed that I’m much calmer when my partner needs me or is pursuing/reassuring me. When I feel like I need her affection, attention, reassurance, or closeness, my anxiety can become significantly worse. Another confusing part has been how dramatically my perspective can change depending on my anxiety level. I’ve had periods where I feel completely calm, trusting, independent, loving, present, funny, and like myself again. Then anxiety comes back and suddenly I’m analyzing everything again. I’ve even started obsessing over why I’m not feeling as good as I did during those calm periods. The breakup thoughts have been especially confusing. Sometimes the idea of ending the relationship brings an immediate feeling of relief because the uncertainty would finally be over. But when we have actually separated, I’ve experienced intense grief, missing her, questioning my decision, and wanting to reconnect. That has contributed to a painful breakup/reconciliation cycle. This has gotten to the point where anxiety has affected my sleep, appetite, ability to exercise, social life, concentration, and ability to simply be present. At its worst, I just want to stay in bed because my mind feels completely exhausted. I also want to acknowledge that my relationship isn’t perfect and there have been legitimate conflicts and trust issues. That’s part of what makes this so difficult for me—I struggle to distinguish between a real relationship concern and my brain taking something uncertain and analyzing it endlessly. I’ve experienced similar anxiety/checking patterns in previous relationships, which is one reason I finally decided I need specialized help. I’m not posting because I want someone to tell me whether my relationship is right or wrong. I’m actually trying to stop chasing that answer. I want to learn how to tolerate uncertainty, stop compulsively checking and seeking reassurance, maintain my independence while loving somebody, receive love without constantly questioning it, and eventually make relationship decisions from a grounded place rather than because I desperately need the anxiety to stop. I’m starting with a NOCD therapist and hoping this is the beginning of learning a completely different way of responding to all of this. If anyone relates to the pattern of feeling calm when you have certainty but becoming extremely activated when you feel like you “need” your partner or don’t know where you stand, I’d love to hear about your experience—especially what recovery has looked like for you.

when u have a unpair number of followers i remove them or i unfollow or follow someone if its a unpair of who i follow anyone else?

Ive entered a new relationship recently and its really healthy. But ever since we got serious i get these repeating thoughts that im not good enough for him and the feeling/thoughts hijacks my body and mind when im spending time with him especially recently and i know hes starting to notice when im not present.. i worry its going to ruin our connection if I cant always be present. And even that becomes a persistent thought. So the cycle begins and never ends. This has put me in a really depressed and anxious state of mind and it takes up most of my energy and day. I have an urge to break up to end the pain and also out of fear of rejection. But I know that would let my thoughts win:/ Part of my problem is I also try to mask my emotions which causes more pain- it’s just really hard not to because it’s what I’ve done all my life. I wish I could be real and embrace all parts of myself and stop hiding, running, performing! It’s fucking exhausting… Does anyone else experience this? Is there any hope for me. I fear this will ruin the best relationship I’ve ever had and I’ve been trying so hard not to let it. I wish there was an answer to all this chaos in my mind and end to the spiraling. I just want to heal and it be over with. I just want to be happy and enjoy my life. I just want to feel like I am enough for someone who genuinely puts in effort and energy for me.

Hi fellow OCD-having friends. I’m proud of you for surviving Monday! How was your day? I’d like to connect with more people with OCD, so please leave a comment if you’d like :) Below is sushi that my bf and i got the other day, definitely a comfort food for me :) what’s your comfort food?

Hi! I’m phoenix this is a reupload of my first post with a list of just the intrusive thoughts that I have commonly and concern me. I’m technically not diagnosed with any neurodivergence yet but we’ve known I am for years. I’m having worsening sensory problems to the point where I’m coming home from school every day with a migraine because my school completely banned headphones. I have an Appointment this Thursday (the 3rd of September 2026) and I’m planning on asking for a referral to a psychiatrist. I’ve been learning more about the different types of neurodivergence and I relate and am worrying most strongly with audhd and ocd symptoms. How do I bring up this concern with the provider without sounding like“I looked it up on web Md and I KNOW”? ~~~~~~~ Intrusive thoughts nearly daily about Dad escaping prison and harm everyone w/ possible school 🔫. Parasites/bugs contamination Carb contamination (this is new it’s the school lunch thing where I don’t feel like the food at school is safe for me to consume with my pcos so I’ve been eating like 3 things almost exclusively and I am anxious about it if I divert and I still don’t feel like I’m not having a small enough amount of carbs in lunch and breakfast) Severe anxiety about getting in trouble at all Toilet paper/shampoo numbers(5 squares of paper or I feel like I’m going to get in trouble and I wash my hair with shampoo 2 times and conditioner 1 time leaving it for 3 minutes so my hair is clean and not brittle) Arriving as early as possible to class or I feel like I’ll be late Worrying/ catastrophizing when people are gone for “too long” (thinking mom and stepdad are in a car accident because they’ve been doing errand for 3 hours and repeatedly checking Life360) I did this with Grammy and Poppi this summer and it was so much worse because I couldn’t track them. Intrusive thoughts that something bad is going go happen to me. School shootings, car accidents(especially in road trips), bad EDS injury, intruder Really bad at feeling some people’s tone (I thought the librarian actually wanted to fire me from the library aid because I was gone a week while in the hospital) Immediate catastrophizing and worrying about the worst injury from a subluxation (I was also convinced I had a blood clot any time my leg swelled up post surgery) Scrupulosity to the point of paralysis when breaking a rule. Sometimes (at least once with most patterns if not several times) if I lose track of my work with crochet or knitting I have to completely frog it and start over to feel like I didn’t ruin the project which I’m only doing n for my enjoyment. I’ve completely abandoned projects before because I couldn’t tell if I was doing it right. And I gave myself panic attacks. Every time stepdad has an autistic meltdown and starts yelling in the kitchen and slamming things I get an intrusive thought that he’s going to take one of the knives and harm himself or the house with it. I can’t go out to check if he’s ok until it’s over. When I’m in the shower I will occasionally (like a few times a week) hear a noise and worry it’s intruders who are going to harm my family and then find me in there at my most vulnerable. Worrying I’m inconveniencing people with my needs and mobility aids and they all secretly hate me so I apologize for being in the way like a lot. Hoarding school supplies and art supplies and toiletries (not sure if that’s a poverty thing or both. I still have notes and homework from 8th grade and markers that are completely dry and I feel anxious/guilty if I toss them) (edited)

i mean u have it for a reason, its a blessing in disguise u js gotta find purpose

Needing some advice on what helped others with this same theme. I find myself experiencing obsessions about the concept of OCD in general. The thought will come up of, “What if my OCD gets bad again?” When I start to make progress, and then I get totally trapped in another flare. I also notice whenever an intrusive thought comes up my mind has started to go, “What if this becomes a new OCD theme?” I also worry, “What if my OCD is debilitating and never gets better?” It’s super frustrating because it’s such an overarching concept that causes a cascade of other themes to arise. Has anyone else experienced this, and if so what helped you through it? I’ve been so upset lately and I feel really helpless and broken down. I just want to feel safe in my own body and mind, it makes it hard to enjoy life and do all my responsibilities when I’m struggling this hard.

I’m struggling right now and I’m embarrassed to reach out to my friends and family. I’m struggling rn and need a friend to talk to

I hate the feeling of being observed, and I think its OCD somehow, but I feel like everything I do is being observed and evaluated. I love making friends and stuff, but now im so stressed its just annoying. Plus i feel like my friends and those around me are just evaluating me and I know theyre not but it seems like it. Its the reason i have so much anxiety going to school. There are a couple thousand people my age observing me every single day. This year especially, ive cried in public more than once with no idea why. It was so embarrassing. I am realizing that I think it was feeling observed when I was so tired and couldnt keep up with the obligations of what i felt i had to do in those situations. I have kept myself from crying at school, but every day especially in the cafeteria. I feel like running away alone to cry. By the time I get home im so exhausted from feeling observed and like i have to be perfect to whoever is observing me all day. Which is 2,000 people btw, so its beyond stressful cause i feel like a failure every day. And its only the first week of school. Last year i was so stressed I practically gave up anything I liked at school (my style, my weight (i stress ate a lot which made it worse),my personality, ect.) because i was such a failure. Kind of a downer post sorry about that.

I’m highly considering medication to go alongside my ERP. I was wondering if anyone could share their medications, how effective they are, how long they took to work etc.? Thank you

I know there have been helpful OCD articles posted about this case and how her thoughts were different. However, I can’t help but to think she asked for help, which means she had to have had some awareness of what was happening and not just a psychosis episode. Also saw a TikTok comment about how she was reading books to help her with the thoughts. I have ordered so many OCD and thought books too. 😭 Like did she have harm OCD thoughts and just give into them and didn’t receive the correct therapist??

I haven’t shared on here in a while. I was raised in a very legalistic church. At 18 I had my first really bad onset of ocd. I got on meds and was fine until 32 when I got pregnant and off my meds. I have always struggled w my relationship w God bc of the legalism and underlying ocd. I used performance and rule following to stay in check. Everything fell apart after my second pregnancy at 33. I was misdiagnosed other things on top of the ocd. I was in the psych hospital 6 times in 5 years. I underwent erp but it never worked. I did ECT, TMS, Ketamine, neurofeedback, and was prescribed over a 100 different meds w in this time. Doctors were giving up on me. I got a divorce a year and a half ago. My last psych hospital visit was a year and a half ago. I started therapy w an ERP therapist last August who has gone through scrupulosity ocd before. She integrated grace, human imperfection and gods love into our sessions. I also weened down on all crazy meds except 200mg of Zoloft and .25mg of klonopin 2x a day. Progress has been slow. I’m very frustrated w where I am but have made a lot of progress. I can drive, volunteer at a nursing home a few hours a day, have knocked down researching to about an hour a day, follow a little routine my therapist has given me. My goal is to recover, go back to school and get my OT to work in a nursing home and get joint custody of my boys. I still wake up dreading every single day, but I have come so far. The hardest part is accepting I am imperfect, that god loves me unconditionally, I can’t change my past and I don’t know what my future looks like. I’m still struggling w my relationship with god. Love and prayers for all of us in this community. All we can do is keep going. God has carried me this far. He will see me through.

I have been thinking about suicide a lot recently. And the thing is I don’t actually want to die I just want the thoughts to go away. I am set to get married to my amazing fiancé in 8 months and yet my mental health is awful. For context, she has been through a lot of sexual trauma. Basically from the age of 5-20 sex has been apart of her life. Abuse, assault, grooming, you name it. She’s been through so much and when she’s opened up to me about it I haven’t handled it well. I’ve been struggling with really bad ROCD, Retroactive Jealousy and Secondary Trauma for about 6 months now. She’s knows I’m working on it and trying to get help but I don’t think she truly knows how bad it is. It’s all I think about all day everyday. I never have experienced any trauma and have had a easy life and she’s the first person to ever open up to me about such trauma and it’s a lot and my brain has just handled it so well as spiraled. This is the woman I want to marry and I’m truly getting to a point I want to end my life because I can’t take these thoughts anymore. It’s a swirl of anger, confusion, jealousy, lust, sadness, etc. Hating how many gross men and older teens preyed on an autistic young girl online. Her being falsely taught from a young age that her body was the only way she could get any sense of love or attention. We are a Christian couple so waiting till marriage, but obviously she’s said she has more she needs to talk to me about because it will affect us being intimate in our marriage. With how many times she’s felt used and made to do things she didn’t consent too. I really care about her a lot and want to get to a better place. But my mind can’t wrap my head around everything and I have all these intrusive thoughts, and mental images and movies and I just don’t know if I can take it anymore. Been looking for OCD therapists and either they’re booked out 2-3 months or just insanely expensive that I can’t afford them. If any reads this please help me, I don’t want to die, but I also don’t know how else to get these thoughts to stop.