Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Will someone please keep me company? I feel extremely bad because of my HOCD thoughts :(

Hello everyone, great to read so many posts. I’ve had OCD for 30 years or so and am going through a rough patch and pleased to find this forum. For me everything comes down to compulsions to “neutralize” bad thoughts. Those thoughts are invariably the result of thinking about someone (sometimes it’s just the image of their face) who I “ don’t want to be like”. It tends to be people I don’t rate highly or those who don’t conform to my set of ethics and morals. The anxiety that maybe, just somehow thinking about them might make it likely that an tiny bit of their ‘bad’ character taints mine, just by thinking about it, forces me to neutralize it with a (set of) compulsions. The anxiety reduces and then I feel guilty about being judgmental of these people (who are so very much UNLIKE me, the situation is almost comical in its ridiculousness once the anxiety ebbs away.) On the plus side I’ve conquered many other types of OCD I’ve had over the years. This one however, stubbornly remains and is hard to tackle when Im stretched elsewhere in life. n

I’m sure most if us struggle getting out of bed I was wondering if anyone has any tips for waking up and getting out of bed I need to put my alarm 2 hours before when I need to get up to be on time would appreciate it if anyone has any advise that seems to work for them

I need some advice, especially from other women. I've been doing better with some of my obsessive thoughts since last week when I started reading a book (it's Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts for anyone wondering, it's quite helpful) and was feeling close to myself again. Unfortunately, yesterday I just woke up feeling like crap and kind of depressed due to that time of the month, which in turn made my OCD symptoms worse. It feels like I just stepped backwards from the good feelings and progress I had in the previous week, so I'm feeling pretty low right now. I need some advice on how I can deal with this sudden drop in mood and how I can try to keep a positive and hopeful mindset during this. Also want to add that I have not done ERP yet. I was supposed to start that in the beginning of this year, but due to a switch in insurance I didn't get to start. Hoping that can get taken care of soon so I can start therapy soon because I think I seriously need it.

Hey nocd community! I won't be taking anymore questions at this time, but I look forward to doing another Q&A soon! For 12 years I lived in silence and shame with the debilitating symptoms of Pure O/Intrusive Thoughts. I believe every person living with mental illness is worthy of a good life, love, happiness, and deserves the chance to live in recovery.

Hi NOCD users, I’ve been very busy working with many new clients. I have learned from my work with each of you. I thought it may be helpful to share the steps of an ERP exercise for those of you out there practicing and running into common roadblocks. First, ERP stands for Exposure Response Prevention. We are working on preventing your response. When creating the ERP exercises, the NOCD app clearly walks you through the steps. Use it - because it works. First we list the obsessive thought, this is what happens when you get triggered. The upsetting, scary thoughts that cause distress. Listing the trigger is next, what set off these obsessive thoughts. A trigger can be anything - person, place, thing, real or imagined. The next step is listing the exposure. This part can confuse users. The exposure is the part of the exercise that you create to cause you to be triggered. This is different based on you creating a in-vivo - real life exercise or an imaginal exercise. Creating a script would be one example of the imaginal exercise. Try to think of specific triggers and that will make it easier to create the exposure. Lastly comes the compulsions. The compulsions are the thing you do not want to do! Try to stay with your obsessive thought - do not check in, not with yourself, not online, not by asking questions. Be careful not to ask yourself questions or anyone else that is reassurance seeking. Also, remember that distracting yourself from the thoughts or avoiding focusing on the thoughts is still a compulsion. Stay with your thought until your anxiety comes down and is at a manageable level. Practice this exercise multiple times until your distress level stays at a manageable level. If you do this, you have completed your ERP exercise successfully. Congratulations! Keep up the good work and practice, practice, practice! If you are struggling, get treatment with a trained ERP therapist. Wishing you good luck ?

Who would like to talk abt random stuff with me in this valentine's evening European time? (Im 27 yo) :)

I wanna talk about something pretty serious and pretty complicated relating to my guilt. If I say something wrong, please tell me and I'll correct myself. I don't wanna be a bad person and I don't know what to do.

I’m scared that accepting uncertainty is just me avoiding the possibility that I could be a pedophile.

How do we know for sure it is ocd and not the truth ?

Hi all, I'm really struggling with HOCD, I am a married straight man, it started off when I was at work and someone mentioned about a tv presenter coming out as Gay after having 2 children and a wife etc. For some reason this has really triggered me and I instantly started thinking oh my god what if that was me? What if I'm gay etc. And now I have been off of work for a week. I did have sexual activity from my wife which got rid of the thoughts for almost a day, but then they have come back!!!??? Also it may help you all to understand. I do not find men attractive, I do see and understand a good looking person but I am not physically attracted to men. But feel like my brain is trying to convince me otherwise. I have been prescribed sertraline (Zoloft) and I am waiting for that to kick in, does anybody know what I can do?

I just joined this site today. I am a senior citizen on medicare with OCD and never knew what it was until the last 5 years. I suffered greatly. The therapists that I have seen were not OCD therapist so their treatment was trying show how incorrect my thoughts were and think of a positive thoughts to replace the irrational OCD thoughts. Even though I got diagnosed,I didnt have money to pursue treatment. OCD therapists seem to charge cost prohibitive prices unless you are rich. Currently, I found an OCD therapist, but it only lasted a few sessions due to money. I took benzodiazepines for my OCD because doctors thought it was just anxiety when I told them I couldnt sleep and that was the wrong drug to take. I am having to come off of this drug because I became horribly dependent on it. It has been hard and it is still an ongoing process. My OCD is of the garden variety. It is constantly morphing to many many themes. The main themes it settles on are sexual, harm, magical thinking, contamination, counting, perfectionism and hyperawareness of body. Currently it is about sleeping. I have thoughts such as, am I sleeping, will I be able to sleep, if I dont sleep, will I die, and any variations about sleep. This has caused me to be extremely sleep deprived and a continued reliance on benzodiazepines which frankly makes OCD worse and does not make me sleep. I am working to get off but it has been difficult. I have a doctor who gives me the drugs, but she doesnt understand OCD, and she is stymied when I cant get off of them in a timely manner or stay on a regular dosage. I told her when the OCD flares, you would do anything to stop it. I am glad to be here to get help for my chronic disease that is getting worse because I had it for over 50 years and and not getting treatment for it. I am now currently trying to do something to help myself get out of this OCD rabbit hole. Appreciate comments from the OCD community.

What are some examples of ERP activities for POCD? And what I should try to be doing when the anxiety and doubt come?

I’m 20 years old, and I have ODC. I was dating my ex girlfriend for five months, we lived together, everything seemed great she was really kind and patient. One day I came home and she was on Xanax so I ended the relationship, (side note; I moved out on my own for the first time and it was scary so I got a kitten to help with my mental state, I had my kitten for 7 months before she went missing) turns out she killed my kitten a few weeks before I ended things and she was doing satanic rituals and she used me for my money. I’m having extreme anxiety over the fact I loved someone who hurt me so bad, my thoughts are on a compulsive loop that everyone is secretly evil. As a Libra I’m really going downhill because I’m isolating. Help me cope please I’m so tired of being alone. I’d like to make friends but that’s really scary

Hi ! Can someone explain to me what is exactly false memories ? I think my OCD evolves. Thanks ! And happy valentines day !

I have had anxiety issues for years and have been in therapy for that. But a big change in my life made it spin out of control. Btw, I am a bit of a control freak. So, for the last year, health anxiety has reigned. It all started when I had a panick attack and ran out of the operation room where I had to go under for a very simple, preventive procedure (I was convinced I wasn’t going to wake up.) I faced it again and made it. But after that I have been going from one health scare to the other. Skin cancer, oral cancer, breats cancer, HPV related cervical cancer - went through each recently. These are accompanied by panick attacks, insomnia and anxiously googling symptoms and testimonials. Every visit to the doctor end with panick that I forgot to check other important symptoms or that she might not be taking me seriously and miss something important. Now I am worried about a lymph node under my jaw that is slightly swollen. I know chances are it is ok and it is not cancer, it’s my anxiety. But what if it isn’t? And on it goes. I just want to stop worrying and go a day without googling symptoms or health issues. I am waiting for it to pass as these periods of health anxiety are kinda like panicks attacks - they build up, they peak and then they pass. I am afraid doctors will stop taking me seriously (this week I saw my doctor for a melanoma scare and a sore breast.) I am afraid when my doctor doesn’t investigate further and I am afraid when she does. I know it is absurd (I recently googled eye cancer) but I can’t stop. Sorry for the long post, I guess I wanted to write it all down and share it.

Brain: ......What if ..... Me: “No I don’t feel like going there” Brain: “OH MY GOD BUT WHAT IF” Me: **Suddenly panics** “HOLY CRAP YOURE RIGHT !!!!!

Depression TW I’m feeling so low, I don’t get along with my mom and I’m stuck renting a town house with her. I don’t make enough to live on my own in a decent place. I feel so trapped and sad. I hate my my life. My job is miserable, my home life is miserable and I lost all of my friends because I’m unlovable. I don’t want to die but I just want to suffering to end. Is anyone else this miserable?! Am I the only one. Everyone I see seems like they’re doing fine.

can anyone clearly tell me what reassurance is? I feel like it is a bit foggy for many of us

Being perfectionistic is annoying. In my head I want to change the world and make it better and do anything and sacrifice everything to accomplish it (studying political science and environmental studies in college, getting an internship in DC next semester) But deep down... deep deep deep down... I just want to get married and have a family and do beautiful things with my kids and husband. I feel like I’m not a good feminist for saying that... and it feels a little selfish... but god, I just want to be happy. Is that wrong?