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the NOCD Community

sorry I‘m seriously annoyed by the narrow minded propaganda for ERP as the „gold standard“ and only way to go on this app. As if there were no reports of individuals where it didn‘t help! As if those have not even been on this app!! Another round of experts telling us poor suffering individuals what to do and whom to follow. When in former times psychoanalysis ruled it was no less exclusive. I‘m not dependend on experts telling me what is working and what not and what is right and wrong. Who else than YOU can judge what is good for you at the end of the day?? If you‘d just allow all the people out there reporting how they have suffered from taking SSRIs, for instance, you‘d get a bigger picture, but you don‘t. This app repeats the same over and over: ERP and SSRIs. For those who are „triggered“ by what I write: getting better also means enabling yourself to hear different versions instead of creating a false security by trusting one method and the todays experts which by pure historic accident are the behaviorists. Rant off. And sleep well.

Don’t let your situation get the best of you, Get the best of your situation. Hello everybody. I hope all of you guys are hanging in there and are making progress everyday, I know it might be hard for some of y’all right now. I know a lot of u are probably sitting in bed reading this and are waiting for that anxiety to pass, feeling like your heads gonna explode from all those thoughts. So that’s why I put together this little message. Lord willing I hope this reaches whoever needs it right now and I hope it can offer some of y’all comfort on your journey with OCD and with life in general. OCD leaves us with a lot of uncertainty but what I am certain about is that nobody with OCD wants OCD. This disease sucks. When I was in the middle of breaking down I started crying and said “I wish I could just be like everybody else”. I see a lot of people here with that same sentiment. “I wish I could just be normal” “I wish I could just go to school/work like everybody else”. Right there is the problem. We are letting OCD get the best of us. Don’t let your situation get the best of you, get the best out of your situation. So even when times are hard don’t say “I wish I could change...” instead say “I know times are hard right now, but how will this help me” or “what can I do to improve from this”. In the Bible, in Philippians Paul is stuck in Jail for his belief in Jesus Christ. He is locked in a basement with no sunlight and no food. He could’ve sat there and said “I wish...” or “I hate...” but he didn’t let his situation get the best of him. Instead he wrote to the people of Philippi and said “Always be filled with joy in the Lord. Always be filled with joy”. How can a man stuck in a prison still be filled with joy? Because he didn’t let his situation get the best of him, he got the best of his situation. While sitting in jail he kept writing and writing and in that time he inspired and converted more people in jail than he did when he was outside of it. We will all be faced with hard times without a doubt but instead of “wishing” for something else or being upset, look for the positive and try and make the best out of OCD. How this applied to me? Well even though OCD dragged me down for quite sometime I used my bad moments to empathize with others without this struggle I don’t think I would’ve matured to the point where I’m helping others and listening to others more than I talk. I’m thankful for all that has happened to me because it has actually made me a better and more complete person. This hardship has only hardened my faith in God and my strength as a person who is a victor instead of a victim. As always I’m praying for all of you. If any of y’all need an ear to listen don’t be afraid to ask. Have a blessed day!!

What are some good careers and career paths for OCD ?

I don't want to accept the fact that me being bi is true or could be true. How can I try to accept it though? My fear is if I accept it, it will come true. It feels like it really will.

Can anyone share their experiences with ERP for existential OCD? I'm in a weird spot where I'm kind of in between therapists right now, but I'm feeling desperate for treatment. If you have experience with this, was it helpful? Was talking to other therapists that may not specialize in OCD helpful at all, or were there more negative effects?

I had ocd since I was 2. That’s crazy right? The doctors diagnosed me when I was two. I still have it. I am 18. I struggle with it a lot. I’m scared of things I shouldn’t be. Like the dark. Fear is associated with ocd. I’m scared all of the time. About everything. My family dying especially. I think about it on a daily. My ocd controls a lot of me. Fear is just one of the many things that’s going on in my mind. It’s torture but I can’t stop. I also struggle with depression, anxiety and tics. Tics is a physical form of ocd. That’s torturous also. Sometimes I’m moving that particular body part without even noticing. Most times I know I’m doing it but I can’t stop. Even if ppl are looking which is embarrassing. While doing it, it hurts over time so I have health issues. Yes it hurts but I cannot stop. I also have social issues. I can’t read social cues. I can’t all the way trust myself in a social setting. I don’t know if I should keep talking or stop. Or sometimes when I talk it leaves an awkward silence. I can’t tell what ppl are feeling unless they outright say it. I like direct ppl. I also have a problem with processing. You have to repeat things a couple of times because it takes my brain a while to process what it being said. People get mad and think I’m not listening but I am. I just haven’t heard it yet. If that makes sense. I also take things very literal. If we are talking about something as a class and my instructor tells me to right something on the board, obviously pertaining to the subject, I will write “something” on the board. It’s happened and it’s embarrassing. I hope all of these things I have go away one day.

Damn it. I've been doing so well. Just got up to put the kids to bed and the wife was washing up. The boiler switched on and I instantly saw it explode. I walked upstairs and can still the floor shaking where it's going to collapse. Went to the toilet and could feel it getting lower and lower as it fell through the floor. Still got to have a shower before bed and worried is going to fall through the floor :(. Trying hard not to cry as the kids are about. But wasnt expecting this sudden rush. Feel sick, legs are weak. Can't breath properly. Just want to run away from it all :(

Can we talk about relapse/lapse? I’m new to the nocd community. And OCD community entirely. I’m turning 27 and I’ve just recently been diagnosed with OCD back in December. I’m currently working through the storm of ERP and acceptance therapy, battling what I know now to be my 3rd OCD episode. I’ve had OCD since I was as young as 6. My first theme was fear of death. Mostly surrounding my parents. Second manifested itself once I was 11 and I had a fear of growing up. My parents put me in therapy at this time. Once I turned 15 (summer going into sophomore year HS) that’s when the themes manifested themselves into POCD, HOCD and harm ocd. I remember it was the scariest thing. I was confused, scared and incredibly crippled by anxiety. I couldn’t sleep or eat without having a panic attack. I was put into therapy but was misdiagnosed with generalized anxiety. I remember at this time my themes would change. One day I’d be scared of being gay, the next day I’d be scared I’d harm the little children I babysat every day after school. My POCD was so bad at one point I tried to quit my after school job taking care of the kids. HOCD I think was the hardest theme for me to overcome. Eventually the symptoms and the intrusive thoughts faded and I spent the remainder of my HS years living a “somewhat normal” high school life. My second episode hit when I found myself in my first emotionally abusive relationship. The stress and emotional rollercoaster he put me through was unbearable. This was my sophomore year in College now, I found myself in lapse #2 and this time it was my HOCD that I found debilitating. Fast forward 8 years and I’m in the midst again of ocd relapse #3, my HOCD yet again. This time I’m working through my OCD diagnosis with my boyfriend of 7 years and my supportive family. Telling my boyfriend all about my fears was one of the biggest challenges. I thought my ocd were quirks I would grow out of. But unfortunately that wasn’t the case. I’m working with an OCD specialist in Manhattan and he’s been introducing ERP as a form of treatment. It’s week number 3 and it’s not easy. But I am slowly beginning to see progress. It’s been amazing to finally realize I’m not alone. I’m sharing my story in hopes it helps other realize they aren’t alone either ❤️

Does anyone care to share what they’re currently dealing with with their OCD?

Hello I’m currently dealing with the fear and obsession of schizophrenia.. I’m so afraid of it.. I’ve seen a psychiatrist and they just said it’s ocd

I just had to cancel babysitting with 10 minutes notice because I had a panic attack. I feel terrible and my mom is pissed at me. The parents seemed to understand but it scared to go home now because my mom was so mad on the phone. I’m shaking and panicking. Everything has been so hard and stressful and I have no idea what to do. No one understands my anxiety and I hate it here. I just wish I could run away but I don’t know where I’d go or what I’d do. Please just someone give me some advice. I’m scared to go home. And I feel so bad and stupid for having to cancel because of a panic attack. I shouldn’t have any said I’d do it. I thought I would be okay. I’m not though. Fuck.

Having fears of something from 13 years ago when I was 21. Someone I was sexting with the profile mentioned she was a year older than me and I went on webcam. She cheated on me and claimed her 13 year old cousin changed it. My fears are what if the person I talked to was not really 22 but underage? The sex offender registry terrifies me. Never been contacted by police or anything like that, spoke to a laywer and my cousin whos a cop about it to a degree, basically he said they are really interested more in what is happening now and my friend told me that in most cases statute of limitations and that its a waste of time because minors get popups for live cams on adult sites and no one is prosecuted for that and the profile/pictures are of an adult so the assumption is the person in communication is an old. This has been causing me massive anxiety to search for legal cases involving this and it appears no statute of limitations exist on a federal level. This is assuming I actually broke any laws.

I’m having this issue where I can’t seem to think clearly at all. My brain feels heavy and like wet sand. I’m trying to identify my issues and what I should tell my therapist, but my brain won’t let me

Idk what’s wrong with me my friend is trying to set me up with a guy and she asked me if I found anyone cute and my mind went blank and I couldn’t think of anyone and now I feel like that means I’m a lesbian but last night me and my friends were liking changing and I saw boobs and I wasn’t turned on the thought of doing anything actually made me very uncomfortable :/

I'm really needing advice right now. The past 3 days I've suddenly felt so overwhelmed by my thoughts even though I was doing much better for like a week. I'm struggling so bad with just feeling very down, anxious, and all around just bad in general. I'm usually pretty good at keeping myself maintained, but today I'm just not and I have to work my job today. What do I do? I've already texted the crisis text line and told my boyfriend what's happening. I have a therapy appointment on Tuesday, but I gotta get myself to that point. I just really need some good advice and help right now.

Will someone please keep me company? I feel extremely bad because of my HOCD thoughts :(

Hello everyone, great to read so many posts. I’ve had OCD for 30 years or so and am going through a rough patch and pleased to find this forum. For me everything comes down to compulsions to “neutralize” bad thoughts. Those thoughts are invariably the result of thinking about someone (sometimes it’s just the image of their face) who I “ don’t want to be like”. It tends to be people I don’t rate highly or those who don’t conform to my set of ethics and morals. The anxiety that maybe, just somehow thinking about them might make it likely that an tiny bit of their ‘bad’ character taints mine, just by thinking about it, forces me to neutralize it with a (set of) compulsions. The anxiety reduces and then I feel guilty about being judgmental of these people (who are so very much UNLIKE me, the situation is almost comical in its ridiculousness once the anxiety ebbs away.) On the plus side I’ve conquered many other types of OCD I’ve had over the years. This one however, stubbornly remains and is hard to tackle when Im stretched elsewhere in life. n

I’m sure most if us struggle getting out of bed I was wondering if anyone has any tips for waking up and getting out of bed I need to put my alarm 2 hours before when I need to get up to be on time would appreciate it if anyone has any advise that seems to work for them

I need some advice, especially from other women. I've been doing better with some of my obsessive thoughts since last week when I started reading a book (it's Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts for anyone wondering, it's quite helpful) and was feeling close to myself again. Unfortunately, yesterday I just woke up feeling like crap and kind of depressed due to that time of the month, which in turn made my OCD symptoms worse. It feels like I just stepped backwards from the good feelings and progress I had in the previous week, so I'm feeling pretty low right now. I need some advice on how I can deal with this sudden drop in mood and how I can try to keep a positive and hopeful mindset during this. Also want to add that I have not done ERP yet. I was supposed to start that in the beginning of this year, but due to a switch in insurance I didn't get to start. Hoping that can get taken care of soon so I can start therapy soon because I think I seriously need it.

Hey nocd community! I won't be taking anymore questions at this time, but I look forward to doing another Q&A soon! For 12 years I lived in silence and shame with the debilitating symptoms of Pure O/Intrusive Thoughts. I believe every person living with mental illness is worthy of a good life, love, happiness, and deserves the chance to live in recovery.