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the NOCD Community

I just wanted to ask something that's about how the app blocking your profile works? Like is it permanent? The support chat had told me the block would be removed after 48hours but it wasn't removed and had to delete my previous account (@chamomile)

Can health ocd be on the theme mental health ocd ? Like afraid of other disorder

Hi guys I’m just looking to see if anyone knows if this is a normal part of childhood development or if anyone experienced this as a kid: Is pretend sexual play normal in kids? Like me and my friends would pretend to be mom and dad and or we would make our bratz dolls kiss or make babies or basically playing games with children my own age that involve sexual behavior. I’m extremely distressed by this right now because I am a little concerned this wasn’t a normal part of childhood development. Mind you I’m now in my 20s so I have no idea why this is coming up into my mind as an OCD theme at the moment lol. Also to preface, Growing up I was always around older kids too so I knew a lot about mature topics before a lot of my peers because my friends at the time that i was around were 3-4 years older than me!

does anyone have any advice for not being able to stomach any food at all?? every time i try to eat or drink water, i get unpleasant images in my head. i haven’t been eating properly or drinking ANY water at all for the past week or so. distracting myself isn’t enough anymore :( any advice??

I am 20. Around a month ago, I suddenly remembered something very bad I did when I was ten. At the time (when I was ten), I didn’t think twice about it, but ever since I remembered it, I can’t stop thinking and obsessing over it as I do not understand how I could have ever done something so bad. It really bothers me, and now I am contemplating wether or not I am a bad person. I have read many articles about this, scanned them, looked for people who have done similar things. According to them, I have past event ocd. I can understand that, but I consider what I did too bad for it to be that. Here’s what I remember of it: When I was 10, my sister was 7, and around that age we would often just walk around naked, wrestle, and etc just like kids. This is probably why I didn’t think twice about what I did. At that time, I would hump various things, not knowing what it meant. I can faintly recollect humping my sister. I do not understand why I did it, but it bothers me a lot and makes me wonder if I am a bad person. I realise it’s horrible, but I didn’t know what I was doing at the time.

So I'm concerned with a suggestion I got from an online therapist who knows about OCD. I've told her about my particular issues and thoughts that I'm having and messaged her today letting her know that I've been really depressed feeling. I'm experiencing existential OCD and she mentioned to try to stop thinking about the philosophical questions because they don't have answers, so I'm just running my mind. She mentioned putting a rubber band on my wrist and using that to bring awareness when I'm having those thoughts and to stop them, (or maybe to divert my attention to something else). Is this conflicting with what we know about OCD treatment? I thought thought stopping like this was ineffective. I'm willing to try anything, but I also want to make sure I'm doing things right and not making myself worse. As a note, this is an online therapist I just started with. I have an in person one that I just started with as well, the online one was because I felt so depressed this week and felt like I needed extra support.

To any of the advocates or anyone who has gone through ERP, is it normal to feel very depressed when you first start it? When I say very depressed, I mean the day I had my first session I stayed in bed for hours and didn't even eat lunch that day. I felt horrible, and I'm still recovering from feeling so bad. I'm having some really rough moments today, and I'm just trying to figure out if this is to be expected, and if so, how the heck do you deal with feeling so depressed? I'm experiencing existential OCD by the way, which has been the worst thoughts for me to deal with.

Hi, I have Pocd and I was wondering, how did Pocd came for you guys ? Me , I was watching a video of a woman saying that when she was young a man touched her private part , and I remember that when I heard her saying that I had a little excitation and after that I got scared that it was because of the fact that she was a child. So now I am terrorized with Pocd

Could someone tell me please if during pregnancy it's possible that your OCD can get worse ?

It hurt me because every time I have questions people say that they can’t answer because of reassurance... but it’s normal to have question about what your living, so..

Posted this last night but deleted to add more. (Prob a compulsion.) anyway, I hate my OCD so so much. I have had perfection OCD in the fear that my handwriting wasn’t perfect, contamination OCD when I was afraid to touch my binders with anything that touched my handwriting, HOCD in the fear that I am not actually gay but straight, (the fear that I got it wrong―I will even be attracted to girls sometimes even tho that is NOT what I want,) a form of ROCD in which I am afraid that I don’t like my hero, my favorite singer, and I have also had the fear that I am not a nice person. And I also have POCD. At least, I PRAYYYY it is POCD. I feel like it’s not and I am so so scared. I don’t want to hurt a child ever! This is the fear that has felt the most real, because when I was in middle school and in high school, I would watch pediatric medical videos since I thought it was okay because it wasn’t technically “porn” and doctors appointments were the closest experience to something sexual that I had ever experienced in my life. (I had always seen a pediatrician at the time. The experiences weren’t sexual, I just didn’t know anything else.) Now, I get intrusive thoughts that I like kids, or like if I see one that is “attractive” I am afraid I like them and it will make me so scared. I feel like I am lying to myself as many on here with POCD have said about themselves. I DON’T want to be like ... that, it’s my greatest fear, I am a rule follower, and groinal response is REAL and it scares the hell out of me. I will say I was “attracted” (or thought I was) to a female singer (Halsey) last week when I was fearing I was straight, but now that I have a different fear I realize I wasn’t. I just feel so hopeless. I want to have kids when I am older. I am a kind person. I don’t deserve this, and as many different forms of OCD that I have had over the years, this one feels so real. (I pray it is just because it is the most scary.) My 2 therapists think its OCD, and I tell them everything. It also doesn’t help that my type is “twinks” (young looking men, I am one myself at age 21,) so there is a lot of overlap in looks that scares me. I feel like I don’t deserve help and I just want to know that this is OCD. I just question cuz how can it be when I was attracted to that when I didn’t realize it was bad and then when I did we’re just gonna call them “intrusive thoughts?” PLEASE respond, I really want to know what the rest of the community with this awful fear thinks. I also think of things like “would I be ashamed if this was accepted in society?” Which scares me too. It reminds me of when I had to come out as gay. I just want this to stop, OCD has had a hold on my life for so long and I pray this is a part of it.

Anybody with Pocd???

Be honest even if it’s harsh - do you think it’s possible to be in a romantic relationship with high functioning OCD? I just started therapy, my OCD is on the severe spectrum. I usually do mental compulsions, some physical. The thing is, I started talking to guys online for shits and giggles, see what’s out there without any real intentions to do anything. I didn’t think it would be a good idea from the get go considering somebody could capture my attention and I’d want to start seeing them. Well my assumption was correct and this did happen. Nothing’s been arranged yet, but I really want to get to know him more and possibly go on some dates. He’s hinted at meeting up, and I get this is part of what you do with online dating, but I can’t help but feel pressured into it because I have a lot going on. I don’t know if it’s a good idea with all this anxiety in my life. I considered two things: as much as my thoughts terrify me, am I letting my anxiety get to me and putting my life on hold by not going out? Because if I cut dating out of my life out, I may as well stop going to university, not interact with people, or have friends. It’s not like it makes a whole lot of a difference considering I still have to do these other things anyway, right? Or, am I being reasonable in thinking that relationships in and of themselves are difficult enough and I’m doing myself a favour by “focusing on myself” by taking this year to devote my time and energy to therapy instead? Can’t I do both? You may think this is for me to decide, but I really think I could benefit from receiving outside guidance from people who are more experienced in this area. I’ve never had a boyfriend before and I don’t know how this stuff works. Sorry if this post is long, I didn’t think I’d suddenly have a lot to say on the matter. Thoughts?

I try to face my fear .. I have a severe fear of developing schizophrenia.. but when I try to read up about people that’s had the same fear I freak out .. I feel my hear beating out my chest.. The what if’s.. I’m fine when I’m not thinking about it when I am I’m convincing myself omg what if I have .. I’ve seen the psychiatrist I do therapy I just don’t get it. I’ve completely become obsessed with it

I really do hate these suicidal intrusive thoughts. I’ll just be doing something like cleaning my house or doing homework and they try to slip in. It’s super annoying when I’m out of the house having a great time and I get home after a long day and they start to ruin my evening. Or if I’m dealing with an inconvenience which I normally won’t think too much about it, it comes in to make me anxious. Like if I dealt with a difficult customer at work, the intrusive thought will come in and be like “you can just end it all then you know” or “you know you want to kill yourself” and it really messes with my head :( I know I don’t want to, and it scares me that the thoughts have transformed into that! Before (and kinda still is now) it would be if I encountered or passed by an object and my thoughts will say to use that object to end my life. Now it’s more telling me that my true feelings are to end it all, when I know it’s not but it terrifies me. This has been happening every day for about the past 4 months. I’m scared that I’ll eventually become depressed and truly want that, or I’m scared one day I’ll lose control and give in. It’s very worrisome as well when I’m having a good time or dealing with normal life things and the thoughts will be like “what’s the point of any of this? This has no meaning. Why be here then? Go ahead and kill yourself”. Sometimes I have to verbally yell at myself to stop thinking ! I’m not a depressed or sad person and I have many blessings in my life. Why my mind gotta be like that :(

my therapist asked for my permission to pray for me. I said it was okay and honestly have no problem with it. I have been seeing her for a few months now and knows about my OCD and worries. But now I am wondering if it goes against some type of ethics code? Or if I should stop seeing her? I was okay with her praying but I’m just worried it wasn’t appropriate???

Ask me stuff! I'm in a car for four hours and am already bored ?

I'm having a panic attack and I really don't know what to do, because my memory it's says me that I do something, when before I remember other thing but know my brain it's making me believe that I did something and I don't know what to do

Hey guys so I’m dealing with some particularly triggering false memories. They were weak at first as they always are but then I gave in and starting ruminating and they have become very convincing. Does anyone have any acceptance statements for false memories or erp exercises?

I have very disturbing thoughts and I'm not sure what my compulsion is or if I even have ocd but I feel very avoidant because of it. My friend passed away on Christmas, My dad passed away when I was 8 months old, another friend passed away January, Kobe Bryant and his daughter died and they were great people. More people died.... I had never been so exposed to death as I have this year. I had never lost anyone close to me that I knew well. However, sometimes I'm laying in bed and all I could think about is blackness. Your brain just shutting down. Oblivion. Then other thoughts start to come in as well about how I could go to hell because I don't have enough faith in heaven. I was so religious as a child all throughout highschool until I hit 16. I crashed and started having panic attacks. I feel like I've lost who I was. I cant pray without feeling like a hypocrite. I can't pray without feeling like an evil person. I dont even know how to start. When I was 16 I liked music but I didnt know much about ocd and i thought about how famous people supposedly traded their souls to the devil and then i said oh what if i trade my soul and idk wtf i was playing at it was like a joke but then i got so caught in it i started crying and praying thousands of times. I'd look up the unforgivable sin and such things. The case Is I woke up believing I couldnt feel anymore. I didn't recognize my body sensations I felt like an empty shell I forgot what it was like to feel human. (I never changed) but I was very disoriented. I would vomit and shake. There was a night that I was trembling badly I ended up going to a crisis center because I believed my something was wrong with me. I'd observe my thoughts believing that they were automatic even though they arent. I even thought reading was automatic (like I'd look at a sign to see if the word would just pop up) I was very lost in my head. Anyways i recovered from that crisis. The therapist said I only had anxiety no medication needed. So I moved on. Now I struggle because I worry about my feelings. I worry that I may not be reacting normal. Like if my bf laughs at a funny video I will obsess inside about why I didnt laugh why I dont find things funny like he did. I do this with movies too or anything in general that makes me question whether I'm okay emotionally. Am I in love? Am i a bad person? Am i hateful? Am I toxic? Several things that I cant identify sometimes. And sometimes I try to connect emotions to body sensations to make sure I'm okay but not all emotions come with sensations. They do but it's not very specific. Love Is the worst because love is so abstract. I think to myself why am I not feeling butterflies... but forget love is also a choice but I also fear that maybe I'm truly not in love and forcing myself to feel it. But at the same time I feel happy around my boyfriend I like to take care of him I like to kiss and hug him and hes annoying sometimes but I also learn to put my rudeness aside I have learned to be a better person because of him. However I do get a lot of obsessive thoughts with him as well. Death is usually the biggest, what if he dies how will I react ? Am I a psycho for imagining this? What if I die before my birthday? Etc... I'm scared to fall asleep in the car always imagining we could crash. I get a lot of obsession thoughts over love. Am I a good person I dont think I love my mom. But I do love her and its not grand because she mistreated me so badly as a child. She hit us a lot and was always verbally abusive and I feel detached from her but back then I loved her so much and maybe because I was a child. I loved her smell I loved praying with her when I had anxiety attacks. One of the reasons I stopped praying is because I realised it was a compulsion I always thought my ocd attacks existential crisis or death anxiety was a demon or a spirit I had caught. So I would pray and cry and shake. I stopped believing in everything all together. But now I just want to know God I want to learn what it's like to feel safe what it's like to know a loving God what it's like to put your feelings aside and help others to be selfless but now that is also turning into a compulsion j feel a need to feel clean to feel like I'm a good person. I've been planning on going to church as a start. But it feels more like a compuksion and I want to be a real desire. Idek