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Anyone here could share your experience with real event ocd Because I think I'm going through something like that right now

Hello guys, I need your advice because I am currently engaged in ERP teraphy and the thing is that I do not feel any fear with the thoughts I am trying to expose so basically it does not work for me. I feel very anxious and want to do rituals only when I have sudden thoughts so I don't really know to deal with that.

this is a rlly rlly dumb question and i feel like i know the answer but i’m gonna ask anyways in case i’m wrong but, if u know ur obsession isn’t true why do u keep getting anxious about it? like shouldn’t ur mind just move on like it does with literally any other thought? what makes certain thoughts stick and others not stick?

I believe I have a personality disorder (or multiple personality disorders) in addition to OCD. Of course this is a huge trigger for me as it plays into my fear of long term suffering as well as being inflicted with something that is commonly corresponded with violence and lack of empathy as well as lack of treatment options. Anyone have any experiences with having a personality disorder as well as OCD? What has helped you? What have you learned works best as far as treatment goes.

I’m so tired of this. It’s mentally draining. I’m so tired from it all. HOCD has taken over my life (if it even is hocd). I spend countless hours analyzing my thoughts and getting a groinal from them. I don’t even know if it’s HOCD the thoughts and feelings feel so genuine. I don’t know where to turn I’m legit so lost. I miss being able to like girls. This is so stressful and mentally exhausting. It’s been about 3 months since I felt this way. How do I continue to live life like this when I can’t ever find peace? It’s like a living hell everyday. I wish there was just a medication to let this all go away because I can’t take this anymore it’s hell...

I'm so worried right now. My brother and Mom were talking about some girls at her work that have a little crush on him. It feels like I'm jealous even though I could care less :( I don't want to be with women and I haven't even meant this girl in my life. Yet it feels so strong and powerful. It makes me want to do a checking compulsion even though I know it wont help and it will just make my ocd worse. I wish the sensations and everything didn't feel so god damn real. Im hoping that it is because im jealous of the fact that she is so confident she likes guys and can be sincere and im over here every damn day wondering if I'm attracted to them or not cuz I have felt that before but I just hate this shit.

Hi! So I’m new to this forum and I’m glad that I’m able to be in a community and understands how I am feeling. I’m hoping therapy through this will lighten my pain through this hellish experience. Hope you all are doing well and we can get through this!!!

I need desperate help I’m confused because when I said I’m not straight it felt true and there wasn’t any anxiety and it felt as if it weren’t ocd. Then I compared it to saying I’m straight and that gave a 5 second relief then a little bit of anxiety. So then I said fuck it and kept saying I’m not straight and it gives me anxiety but it still feels so true and real and as if it’s not ocd and it’s truly happening.

Long post coming up! Newbie here and also new to ERP. I debated a long time before posting this because it sounds like a really privileged problem compared to what some people here are going through. But ruminating about it is taking up so much of my time now that it's hard for me to function properly. I was wondering if I could get some insights. So, my ocd seems to revolve around the themes "just right", scrupulosity and mental contamination. This makes it hard for me to enjoy life, and to allow myself to have nice things (both physical objects and experiences). I always feel like I don't deserve it, and then my mind makes up a reason why I shouldn't have it. A few months ago I got myself something really nice that ties in with a hobby of mine. It's fully paid off and not hurting me financially, but my ocd has been acting up a lot telling me the object is "contaminated". It's gotten to the point where just having it in the house is causing me distress. I am so close to selling it at a loss just to get rid of it, but I know I would be online looking for a new one to replace it the moment I shipped it off, and I don't want this cycle to repeat once again. Should I just accept that this hobby that I really love is not for me? Or can I somehow work with it using ERP? Any ideas on what that could look like? Thanks in advance :)

Hi I am just wanting to hear from others about having this subtype and then also wanting to have kids? I have this sub type along with other forms of OCD so my OCD will sometimes switch to a different form which we know is common for OCD. But sometimes I’m terrified of having this sub type and having kids. Has anyone been successful with having kids and having this sub type? Me and my fiancé want to have kids in the next couple of years. Did yours get worse? Better? How did you deal with it? Did you have POCD before you had your kids and then still had them? Thanks in advance!

I’m having old themes come up. Worried because I’m remembering when I would look up a fetish of mine on tumblr a few years ago. Some of the posts from the tag included furries with the fetish. I thought it was bizarre and after a while I got more specific with my search tag (ie narration/stories) so as to avoid furry content or other questionable stuff. However, I’m feeling sick because what if I should have reported it? Why didn’t I report it? I also try to go back in my memories to make sure I didn’t find it appealing. I’ve told my therapist about this situation, but I worry they don’t understand no matter how I try to explain it to them. Part of me thinks I should turn myself in. I can’t do this anymore.

I’ve been struggling recently. I have hOCD (worrying I’m asexual) and rOCD, which can be a tricky mix. I’m on my first relationship, with a wonderful man and I am happy. But I keep tripping myself up in terms of sexual attraction. The thought of my bf arouses me, I fantasise about him etc. However, I’ve read so much on asexual forums that sexual attraction has to be visual. I.e. I have to look at my bf and then feel like I must have sex with him, just by looking at him. This has never been something I experience. It has always taken me some time develop sexual attraction in the past (it’s never just their looks). Like when we’re in a non-sexual environment/context I don’t look at him and think ‘I want sex with you right now’. So now both my OCD and some forums are telling me I don’t experience sexual attraction? It’s all so frustrating!

Hi :) I have always struggled with intrusive sexual thoughts since i was a kid. (probably due to sexual abuse) And in my teen years I spent a considerable amount of time fighting unwanted romantic feelings toward my girl friends. This year though, I think I’m coming to terms with the fact that I might be gay. I just never feel this way toward men. And it feels like all of my efforts to keep those unwanted gay thoughts away growing up didn’t work. I feel like it’s my fault somehow. I’m not sure if this makes sense, but I guess i’m trying to work on accepting these thoughts of mine.

The longer I have had POCD the more sexual the thought become. Also, a new obsession is that I’m concerned about a certain age and it’s like 6 year old even though before all this I’ve been around my friend’s 6 year olds and even seen them almost completely naked and never felt anything (even though my brain is trying to distort that memory). Now even as I type this I have images of 6 year olds in a sexual way pop up and it’s making me feel like I’m actually full on attracted to them. I also have dreams and these images pop in when I first wake up and on. And it feels like I’m starting to like the thoughts which scares the shit out of me and they won’t go away. I’m terrified!...sorry I’ve posted a lot and I’m a bad place. I can not become a pedo!

This is long but I’m hurting and need practical advice on what to do. My OCD is convincing me I’m psychotic. It doesn’t help that I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and had an ill informed therapist tell me for 8 months that my intrusive thoughts were hallucinations and delusions. I just quit lithium a week ago after being on it for 4 months after a psychiatric nurse who I no longer am seeing told me it was safe to do so. I don’t exactly trust her though since she accused me of being a liar, impulsive, having a personality disorder, and told me I had to take antipsychotics or she would walk away, when I had legitimate questions about the bipolar diagnosis (hence no longer being in her care). My anxiety and intrusive thoughts are spiking worse than ever. My main theme is harm so I’m terrified of becoming manic and psychotic and believing my intrusive thoughts are correct, even though my non-OCD self is positive I’m not bipolar. I’m starting to doubt I have OCD and am asking myself what if I am actually delusional and in denial about my situation and am actually a danger to myself and others. I got approved for a PHP in the OCD and anxiety disorder program at Rogers but I don’t start for another 3 weeks. Has anyone been through anything like this (misdiagnosis, wrong medication making you worse, lithium withdrawal, questioning if your OCD is actually psychosis, etc) and has some advice with how to deal with this? I’m feeling so hopeless and dejected after being tossed around the mental health field like this only to find out I have OCD and could have started treatment 8 months ago and not gotten to this point if my doctors were more aware of this condition

I have obsessions about my appearance that I am ugly. I check my face in the mirror and seek reassurance from others. I am constantly comparing myself to my friends and thinking they’re so beautiful and I am disgusting. It’s so hard to not hate myself when I feel like this :(

I’ve done therapy in 4 others places, this being my 5th. It’s truly unfortunate how difficult it is to originally find the right therapy. First several therapists just thought I had an issue with being gay and didn’t tell me about OCD. My first three therapists we’re great people, with big hearts, but couldn’t serve me much beyond normal talk therapy. Then came my first OCD Specialist. It worked okay. I got better-ish. But they were 3X the price of my current treatment here. My therapist here, has helped me gain at least 50% more results, so far (session 6), and for 1/3 of the price of other services. In business, things become better, faster, more convenient, etc. that is exactly what has happened here at NOCD. They are serving a massive market without price gauging their eyes out like the existing other specialists. Here at NOCD, they are serving a wildly underserved portion of the market. I can’t imagine all the disenfranchised people who couldn’t afford the right service, finally being treated for affordable rates. Best thing? It’s an in and out program. All of my other therapists said OCD is chronic, and will need to taken care of over life. They wanted my $$$!!!!!! They fed me Lies lies lies and wanted my money. NOCD wants you healed and on your way, so you can live life and they can help more people. I would invest a lot of money into NOCD. Maybe I should. Let me know!!! Love y’all, be safe. And do your exposure exercises. I’m doing flash cards everyday, with verbiage that says “I might (insert fear)” or “others might think...” doing it everyday voluntarily helps push the scariness away and I feel more like old me. With Love, Brock

I need to try and go on a walk in a bit bc I haven’t in days but I’m terrified to leave my house. I’m terrified I’m a danger to people. POCD going off so badly. Just triggered because I was reminded of things I was shown in hs. I feel like I’m a horrible person for seeing them. But there’s one part of it that really gets to me that I feel I can’t even talk about. I don’t know. It haunts me so much.

I’m having a meltdown! Help! I have been reducing my reassurance lately. I went from 250 to now like 20 times. Huge jump in last month. But I feel absolutely awful still because it’s ERP and it gets worse before you get better. I’m so on edge so the slightest things trigger me. I’ve been having a horrible meltdown for an hour screaming at top of my lungs. I just want ERP TO Work!!! I’m putting in so much effort. I believe I’m getting closer but these meltdowns are horrible. Hopefully it’s a good sign that erp is working because the ocd is mad. Anyone else experience this in ERP? It’s such a huge change and I want my life back so bad! During this meltdown, my ocd has told me that I’m never going to get better and I’m scared.

How do you manage spikes? I’m a female who suffers from HOCD. I was reading the book “Brainlock” and I got to the section of Reattribute. Doing another task to counter giving into my compulsions. I decided to take the extra step and do ERP on my own by looking at images of lesbian couples. I’m finally getting treatment after 6 years of dealing with it off and on. More “masculine” lesbians trigger me the most. I was able to stand looking at the images for awhile but I could feel my anxiety at basically 100% but I kept going. Then I felt like I actually liked the images. I didn’t have a groin response but there was a jump in my chest, a emotional response. Like, I was genuinely attracted. Like the attraction was there and my mind was confused and disconnected from my body. I had never felt this way before. For two days now I’ve dealt with a feeling of anxiety sitting in my chest. I don’t want to eat or sleep, this is the lowest I’ve ever gone. My body feels like it wants that. I haven’t been to sleep and when I do, the thought is waiting when I get up. I feel like I may actually want this and when I try to accept it, my mind won’t let me. So then I’m sucked back into fighting and I feel like I set myself up when I should have avoided it. I see my new therapist Monday, but if you’ve experience this or know any encouraging messages that can help me get through it till I see them, it would be great.