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the NOCD Community

Hi. So I mostly have depression and anxiety. Does anyone know how to calm down when you feel an attack come. And please don’t say breathing. Lol

Not to ask for reassurance too much (but here I am lol). What do you believe makes those with harm OCD differ so greatly from those who end up doing horrible things to hurt others? I just want to end this worry once and for all, as it takes over my whole life! :-(

Anyone relate? Advice? It breaks my heart not saying this to him but there’s a part in me that won’t let me. I haven’t said or don’t say I love you as much, sometimes when I do I feel like I’m forcing myself and then the thoughts come on wether it’s true and if I’m just saying it because he says it. He says it a lot and it sometimes makes me feel bad that I feel down in some way when it’s supposed to make anyone feel happy. When I’m okay for a few days, and the thoughts leave for a while, I’m happier and I don’t hesitate in saying it when he does something cute or anything, I just keep saying it but then this happens...

When reading about how to manage OCD, some books say that, when you get an intrusive thought, just say “it’s not important.” However, if you use ERP, you dwell on the thought, feel the anxiety, thereby giving it some importance. Are these just two different ways to manage OCD?

So my harm OCD thoughts have recently changed and it’s making me question what is real and what is my thoughts. Lately I’ll find myself reading news articles about murders etc, and then something in my head will be like ‘yeah but I can understand why they killed that person’ and then I become really shocked and scared that I’m beginning to sympathise with these awful people. :( does anyone else get this? Or have something similar? Thanks x

I’ve struggled a lot with adhd and as a result of that I’ve had to take Vyvanse for 4 years now . I’ve also had OCD for most of my life. I’ve I never had a problem with taking the Vyvanse but now I’m starting to question whether or not it’s harmful or helpful. What are y’all’s thoughts on this?

When anxious, does your heart every skip beats? Been to the ER 10 times and they tell me its anxiety and I need to relax. I’m beginning to believe it, but what do you guys do to relax and slow your body down and not get scared when you feel palpitations?

Got told at work I need to compartmentalise my mental health, emotions and anxieties .... how when ocd is so consuming? Feels like I’m been beaten down by real life as well.

I wonder how culturally dependent OCD themes are? Like 50+ years ago I doubt as many people obsessed over whether they were trans or gay. Or what about before commonplace hand washing? Perhaps the themes are specific to a context. But the thought process behind all OCD themes is the same.

Guys my HOCD is getting worse and worse. Every time I try to say “okay I’m straight” in the back of my head it says “are you sure? 100% sure? Check just to make sure” then I check how being with a guy would be and I don’t like it but even when I know I don’t like it my ocd says “how do you know you don’t like it?” Which I can give answers but it just never seems like enough. I feel stuck and I don’t know where to go. I keep getting thoughts of being with my ex but I don’t wanna tell her what’s going on in my head because I’m embarrassed. I just wanna know how to get out of this. I never questioned my sexuality before this started and now it’s on my mind 24 hours a day. Living like this is hell. Someone please give me tips. I have therapy on Friday (I go once a week now) but I still feel like I’m drowning.

I have no will or desire to do things that need to get done. This resulting in my room constantly being a mess.

My religion ocd is so terrifying. I’m Catholic, and I get thoughts that I’m going to hell constantly It’s so exhausting and it scares me so much when my brain tells me I’m going straight to hell and that I’m a horrible person, and it makes me believe it

So I have OCD about OCD itself. Like I will be talking about harm OCD or POCD that I struggle/struggled with as a kid and it come up sometimes now but it was rlly bad as a kid (I’m 16 now) and then I’ll worry “what if you don’t have harm ocd or pocd, and when you have pocd you can’t get the images and thoughts out of your head but because it doesn’t make you feel as physically sick as sexuality OCD what if I’m making my POCD and harm OCD up for attention?! Can anyone relate...

Has anyone else on here been prescribed Fluvoxamine for OCD? Have you had a good experience with it? A bad experience? Any feedback will help me. Thanks!! Thanks!!

if anyone on here is dealing with dermatillomania and has any advice please send it my way! my fingers are constantly raw and it obviously hurts a lot but it’s so embarrassing when people ask me what happened or tell me to just stop. i feel so dumb having to explain that i did it and that i can’t just stop, it’s not just a “bad habit”

This is more of a personal problem I’m having, but you guys are all so helpful, so I hope you don’t mind if I take everyone’s attention away from OCD for a sec. As I’ve said before I’m really sick at the moment. All I’m really doing is laying around, doing ERP, sleeping and playing video games. (Plague.inc is the bomb by the way. 10/10 would recommend) Anyway, this guy I just graduated high school with has started texting me. We were in the same circle but I avoided him because he’s often rude/makes inappropriate jokes/ has no verbal filter). Now that we’ve graduated he’s texting me all the time, and at first I was polite because, well. Because you should always be polite. But he keeps messaging me 5 times a day asking to hang out. I’ve tried to put him off because I’m a cautious person and hanging out with a guy I barely know alone doesn’t sound like the best idea. But also, as I said, I’m SUPER SICK! My cold went to my chest and I can barely breathe, I’m coughing all the time, I’m not in a position to go and hang out with someone. But every day without fail he messages me asking if I feel better. He says things that are kind of weird like “I really do hope you feel better soon you know. I really do.” And “Its really good that you trust me. Trust is important.” Gonna be honest, its making me sorta anxious! Plus we’re both going to a big end of year 12 party at the end of this month, so I know he’ll talk to me and be annoyed if we haven’t hung out by then. What the hell do I do? Sorry to bother everyone I know this isn’t OCD related...but it sure as hell isn’t helping! (Although it is nice to worry about a normal problem for once!)

To my Christian friends, Im having a really hard time forgetting what happened last night because it's making me feel really embarassed and weak. As some of you may know I been feeling very differently about my church and yesterday just topped it all off. I really don't feel like being part of that congregation no more. I feel like there is no Holy Spirit there and maybe God's really been telling me that in my dreams. I always dream my church in the dark with no light. Yesterday, I had a argument with the pianist in the worship team at my church during rehearsal because the lead singer (pastor's wife) was having throat problems so she encouraged me to sing by myself. As always I was extremely nervous but even then I was doing my thing getting compliments by her until the pianist kept making subliminal jokes about my voice literally mocking it and laughing as well as stopping the music on me multiple times to say something negative saying I was singing the words too fast, that I wasn't breathing correctly with my diaphragm, or that I was changing tones. I got so irked that he kept criticizing without actually helping not understanding the anxiety I was feeling and being unappreciative of my effort so I snapped. I told HIM to sing the song then if I was singing it so bad. Have in mind that I'm a very quiet and respectful person with ppl i don't know very well especially church so I saw the annoyance and shock in his face that I was finally speaking up but that also increased his insults. He told me he can't tell me I sing nice otherwise he'd be lying to me. He told me I'm not ready to become a worship leader because its impossible to learn about vocalization in a day or 2. He told me I need to humble myself down and stop being arrogant just because I said I believed I was doing a good job singing even though I was under so much pressure. He also told me I'm immature for taking criticism so sensitively. My anxiety took it's toll on me and I cried in front him and the pastor's wife saying it's not fair that theyre quick to criticize me or my bf (he's the drummer) whenever we make mistakes but whenever they make them nobody gets criticized just because they're the originals that have been there for a long time. I told him that the fact that I have been part of the choir for months now and what I mean by this is months of going to rehearsal even before I made into the group! Not the even the very same official group members showed up at times how they should've! In 2 ocassions I even had my feet injured and I STILL went to rehearsal as well as service the next day on stage. That's my proof that I had the strong desire to serve to God through music. But they couldn't tell me since day 1 that i "can't sing?". That's unprofessional of them to have someone who can't sing on their worship team. That proves that they like to point fingers and don't mind ppl ridiculing themselves as long as its not any of them. I'm arrogant just because I gave myself a pat on the back for my effort? It's impossible for me to enhance MY voice faster than he thinks? NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE for God. I'm grateful towards God for allowing to be in the choir and eventually become the leader in HIS timing I never said I wanted to become one right now so the dudes point was invalid. The pastor's wife was defending me telling him I was right but at the end of the day they're gonna do more for each other than they'll ever do for me. Where's the unity? Where's the support in helping you correct your mistakes. There's a very big difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism. Put the favoritism y'all have for each other ASIDE and treat everyone the same. As of now, I have regrets because I didn't go to church today. Right when I felt stronger to go and forget all about that this morning I had a fight with my bf that drained me down all over again and we both ended up absent to service. No one from church has even called me or texted me to check on me. I think this is a clear indicator that maybe it's time to change churches and start from scratch. Please pray for me. I'm confused. I'm hurt. I'm even more insecure now. And i feel weak...

Is it normal for even straight people to question their sexuality at times? Before HOCD I was like I’m probably bi or whatever based on NOO CONCRETE EVIDENCE bc in real life I was only attracted to men and am in a stable relationship with a boy...but I got these random thoughts and they didn’t bother me as much that’s until HOCD hit :( and now I’m like NO IM STRAIGHT STOP ?

Am on antidepressants and the dose was still to high. Now the doctor dropped another dose. The higher the dose the worse my thoughts became. 1 year of lowering. 37.5 was not high enough 75 was only 1 month and increased to 112.5 for a 6 months and then 150 for 2 months. 150 made me suicidal. 112.5 made me angry and paranoid and the thought were that I always wanted to hurt someone. So now I’m on 75 for 10 days and my thoughts run wild that I feel crazy:(

Things that seem to make my OCD worse: Have a look at this list and see if these affect you. If they do, you can start to make positive changes! ~ Sitting around ruminating. I have the worst cold at the moment and all I’m doing is sitting around pondering my existence. Not helpful! ~ Spending a lot of time on technology. Makes me feel foggy. ~ Not drinking enough water. ~ Skipping ERP. If I don’t keep up my ERP every day or am lazy with it, I start to relapse. ~ Being insular. Sitting around, inside my own head, not focusing on the world around me makes things a million times worse. ~ Being inside all the time. I have vitamin D deficiency anyway, so this is definitely not helping. ~ Going a few days without vitamin B-12. Makes my brain sticky, I get fixated on things easier. ~ Researching OCD/Anxiety/DP/mental health. This is the big one. No matter how positive your research seems, at some point you’re going to find something that sets you off. It only takes one misinformed person on a sketchy forum telling you there’s no hope, and then all of a sudden you’re in a spiral of anxiety. ~ Talking about my OCD all the damn time. No matter how much everyone in your life loves you, they will grow tired if you only talk about your mental health. ? But more importantly, what are you doing when you talk about it? Generating fear, and making it a central focus of your life. We need to be lowering the importance of our OCD and becoming less afraid of our obsessions, not fixating on it and making it a focal point of our lives. ~ Not doing anything productive. Again, focus on things other than you and your obsessions. When you’re not actively doing ERP/CBT, you should be doing other things and taking your anxiety with you. Acceptance means learning to live with the uncertainty of these obsessions, and LEAVING THEM ALONE. This is where I messed up for so long. I read up tirelessly on acceptance, trying to understand what it meant. To me, it means learning to leave these big questions unanswered, and moving on to other things, and that didn’t come from research. That came from me. ~ Fixating on recovery. Yes, be determined to recover. Absolutely. But don’t be going “no no. I can’t do this until I recover. I can’t go here till I feel better.” Recovery comes when you start focusing on the rest of your life and stop attaching importance to your thoughts, as well as through habituation/medication/CBT. Ultimately, recovery comes when you accept the uncertainty and move on. It doesn’t come from staying still.