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the NOCD Community

When you’re diagnosed with more than OCD and everything affects your road to recovery.

Here are some things that help me when my OCD is at its worst. OCD and medication are only part of the story - there’s lots you can do to help feel better! ~ Cutting down on sugar. I am a TOTAL sugar maniac. I eat so much chocolate it’s ridiculous! But sugar can also be a natural stimulant (increases anxiety) so you might find that after a few days after cutting down (don’t go crazy, just limit junk food, soft drink etc.) you feel a little more clear headed. ~ Stay hydrated. Yeah, I know, we’re ALL sick of hearing it. But when we’re anxious we can be too busy panicking to really take care of ourselves. Not drinking water is likely to make you feel a lot worse, last thing you need when you’re overthinking and stressing. ~ Meditation ??‍♀️ A lot of mindfulness meditations focus on observing your thoughts and not reacting to them, which can build a strong foundation for your ERP (and is a little less stressful) ~ Do something productive. When you’re obsessing, this is literally the last thing you want to do. But you can’t spend all your time dwelling on your thoughts. Pick something small you’ve been meaning to do (make the bed, put clothes away) or something you love doing (writing, art, gardening) sometimes if I’m in a bad place I realise I’ve just been sitting around not doing anything productive for days. ~ Rest. Yes, I know. Anxiety makes it impossible to sleep. But don’t lay there stressing about how much sleep you’re getting. At least by lying down, you’re getting SOME rest. And your brain will get some sleep, whether you notice it or not. Worst case scenario is that you’re wiped the next day (which is probably nothing new ?) I like to put in my headphones and listen to things that make me laugh on youtube, so that I’m at least giving my brain a break from the stress I put it under. ~ Don’t beat yourself up about being tired/stressed/anxious. We really put our minds through a lot. Why wouldn’t we be tired? We worry 24/7. Cut yourself some slack. ~ Shower. No matter how crappy I feel, I always feel at least 50% better after a hot shower. Walking around feeling grimy all day sucks, and won’t help you. ~ Get a good self care routine going. Get a nice face wash, face cream, and scrub. Pamper yourself, you need to be looked after. ~ Spend time outside. Im inside like all the time staring at a screen. (And yet, Im shocked whenever I disassociate ?) Go outside, get some sun and some fresh air. Start a garden, or maybe meditate, or just enjoy nature. No technology allowed. ~ Exercise. I know, I know. Exercise won’t stop you obsessing and all that. But when we barely exercise, we end up feeling tired. The less we do, the less we want to do. If you can exercise, it gives you a focus beyond the mess inside your head, and it makes you feel stronger and less fatigued. ~ Vitamin B-12 and fish oil. I find that taking a vitamin B-12 every day helps my brain feel less “sticky.” I still have to work with my big obsessions, but I don’t often pick up new ones or get “stuck” on certain issues for a while. In fact, when I started feeling crappy again, I realised I hadn’t been taking my B-12 because my cold made it too difficult to swallow. I’ve also heard that fish oil can do good things for brain health, but let me know. Recovery is a learning curve. What works will be different for everyone, but all we can do is try. These aren’t substitutes for good therapy or medication, but when used in conjunction with them, they can improve your quality of life and help you get a handle on things ❤️

I need advice. Warning: this will be long. This isn't totally OCD related and I hope that's ok, but I got in a pretty heavy discussion / argument with my boyfriend of 4 years last night. For some backstory, when we met, we just knew we were meant to be together. Probably talked marriage 3 months in, moved in together 10 months in, talked about getting married in a year from then, and then I developed some health issues. I was eventually diagnosed with a chronic illness after many months of pain, tests, fear. This is right around when my anxiety got bad. I think I had health OCD at the time but didn't know it. All I could think about was the fact that I was going to die and never live out this beautiful life I had imagined with my partner. I did eventually get my health under control, but ever since my OCD has really taken hold. I developed ROCD, HOCD, and came to realization that I've had OCD since I was a young child. I feel like the lights are now on and I can finally see how messy the room is but I actually have the chance to clean it now. So, fast forward to today. I'm working on my mental health and health. I've left jobs, taken pay cuts, and now work from home for less than I should be making. Last night, I became overwhelmed with the desire to want to be a mom and a wife and opened up to my boyfriend about my frustrations that we haven't moved our relationship forward (engagement). We had a big misunderstanding, and I already knew his stance, which is that it's been a very hard few years and he doesn't want to get engaged until we are financially stable with debt paid off etc. etc. While I understand this, hence why I haven't brought it up in 2 years save some jabs and jokes, I am feeling incredibly lost and sad today. The conversation basically ended with him feeling like he "needs" to propose soon and abandon his financial plan and me feeling heartbroken that he feels pressure to make it official after living together for 3 years. For context, I'm almost 30 and he's 34. We want three kids. Time is dwindling. I've had health issues. My biggest dream is to be a mother and I feel like he doesn't understand that my health issues put me at risk to not conceive easily. I don't need a big fancy ring or wedding. Our parents will contribute anyway. But I know he feels like he needs to have his ducks lined up and, to him, to propose means he needs to already have money for a wedding, raising children, and beyond. I genuinely understand both sides but I'm so sad today because I don't think this should be a financial decision and I don't want to pressure him, even though I just did. Does anyone have any advice for me in general or for feeling kind of stalled in your otherwise happy relationship? Am I being unreasonable? We love each other so much and have been through so much but I feel like the one thing we can control right now is our commitment to each other and I'd give anything for and feel inspired by my life finally moving forward in this way. I know he's working his ass off for our future but our joy always seems to be 2.5 years away from wherever we are... in this far off land where we don't have to worry about money. I worry we'll never get to the point where the ducks are aligned and all of this has my ROCD and HOCD a flare. ?

Just want to rant: I read an article that my boyfriend had written about his ex girlfriend. It details his sexual encounters with her, very graphically. I want to vomit. I feel so sick it’s not even funny. I feel so guilty and horrible and disgusted about it. I want to tell him, but I don’t know how. He writes a lot and I was scrolling through one of his blog posts. I am crying and I feel like my world is ending, because he was my world. How do I get over this?

It’s unfortunate but I can’t enjoy one of my main passions anymore, music. I just feel like I focus more on the outcomes than the process and love of it and wanting to share that with other people. I have this idea of success and I’m obsessed with it, almost like it’s a sense of approval. I wish I could push it out of my mind because I just want to enjoy what I love. At this point, I don’t even know if I really do love it or not. I don’t like who I become when I play music, at least alone, I just overthink until it’s not enjoyable anymore. I play guitar, bass, drums, and I write my own music often. I did however just join a band as a drummer and think maybe being in a band with multiple people, especially not my own material, will be helpful to just be in the moment. It’s just really unfortunate that I’m obsessed with this idea of success and that being the only thing I want. It wouldn’t make me happy. I can’t tell if this is an obsessive, intrusive thought getting in the way or not, or if this is how I truly feel ?

I had a good day today but as soon as I was alone in bed I kept going over and over my main moral obsession at the moment and got to the point where I was ready to admit it was all true. Does this mean it is? Also if you obsess over one main intrusive thought for a long time, does that still make it OCD? Then I spiralled into a hole of “my family will disown me, I have to break up with my boyfriend, I’ll have nothing” Writing this I SHOULD KNOW it’s OCD but part of me can’t stop thinking it’s all true and I’m a sick person... (Btw my ocd thought follows a sexual dream I had about my half brother a while back - which disgusted me - and now I have convinced myself he is attracted to me and I desire him even though I’m 99% sure this isn’t real... looking back we have always been close and I’ve always looked up to him so WHAT IF IT’S TRUE?!)

I woke up to a dream about people calling me crazy and that I needed to be locked up because they were scared of me for being dangerous. It really hurts even though it was just a dream. Unfortunately a lot of people associate sufferers of mental illnesses as crazy, dangerous people.

Plz zoloft experience for pure o

I think I’ve washed my hands around 13 times today, and it’s not even that many compared to what I usually end up doing :(

I’m not sure if I’m coming to the right place, but I need some advice. Basically, I’m 16 and I started college (U.K.) in September. I’m taking psychology, English language and sociology. My psychology teacher is the head of my college, and she’s lovely. I have ocd and I’m not sure if she knows or not, and I don’t know if I should tell her. I won’t go into great detail, but something that I have to do is when my work isn’t neat enough, I re write it over and over again until it’s “just right / perfect”. I’ve also started washing my hands A LOT, like I put 5 pumps of soap on, and then wash them & repeat that 5 times (the germ side of ocd never affected me until I started college). This isn’t everything, something’s related to my ocd I can’t ever speak aloud, but I don’t know if I should tell her and speak to her about it? I’m not sure if she’ll be able to do anything and I’m sure she’s really busy. Plus, because she teaches me I don’t want her to judge me or think of me any differently. Any advice is welcome, Thank you!

Any parents out there? Did you end up having ocd post partum? Or for guys after your kid was born?

I’m a gay guy and I always felt different, but in a gay way, you know. I’ve never questioned my gender identity and I always felt in the right body. But since I saw the instagram profile of a trans girl, I can’t stop thinking “what if I’m trans?”. Literally I think about this the HOLE DAY and I always look for evidence that I’m or not trans. And the worse thing is that as a gay guy I’ve done things or liked things which are stereotypically for girls. This thought gave me panic attacks, anxiety and stress during all the day. I’m scared and confused because my mind keeps telling me that there’s should be something and for some reason I thought about it. It’s like my brain has been replaced during this month. I just want to go back in time and be the happy guy that I was before, I miss my life.

Anyone else struggle with confession as a compulsion ? If so how do you manage and/or fight urge to confess?

Just curious as to how many of you feel OCD started in your life due to extremely stressful circumstances. Also, how do you feel your overall health is, especially your gut health?

Guys I neeed someone to talk to like now it's been about 8 days since I lost my virginity but I'm so fucking paranoid about being pregnant and I don't feel pregnant but I just am so convinced and I don't know it's OCD or if I am but I don't think i can deal with this I don't wanna have an abortion and if I do I'm not gonna be able to tell my parents I'll have to do it alone and my life's a mess

Anyone want to talk about harm ocd?

My therapist brought up the concept of perfectionism. I never had considered this in my ocd but wow was he right. I see it as I reflect. I thought I was strictly pure o (HOCD, SOCD). What’s everyone know about the manifestation of perfectionism in OCD?

hocd tips!! please... sometimes i feel empty, like totally in depression

Thought for the day. We’re all on this website for a reason and it’s because we struggle to keep our thoughts focused in the right direction. We’re all perfectionist, we’re sensitive and analytical. We want what seems like everyone else around us has. We want peace of mind , self love and to just outright get over the mind torture of OCD !! Living with a broken brain is not easy and if your all like me you wanted to be fixed yesterday or in my case 15 years ago. You want to just stop thinking about killing yourselves, or obsessing about hurting the ones that are dearest to your heart. You want to quite thinking your a pedi file or stop counting numbers that don’t mean 2 shits. You wanna stop ruminating and be able to just stay in the precious present moment. Everyone here wants to learn ERP perfectly and master CBT. They wanna go to their therapy sessions and come out after spending hundreds of dollars and just be normal again. We want the pain to go away. We want the anxiety to disappear and the panic attacks to fade away. We want to tell ourselves that if I didn’t have this xxxxx I’d be just fine and life would be good. We want life to just plain and simply be fair because we’ve been through a lot and by god I deserve a break .... Right ??? Well my thoughts are life isn’t perfect, things are never going to be fair and to sit back on the pitty me wagon which we all do only reenforces our already self doubt and fears that we all carry! Time to take the power back. Time to let go and I mean learn to let fucking go. Time to make a commitment and as Tony Robins says until you decide to make a decision, a true resolution and dedicate your every waking moment to change whatever it is in your life that you know will set you free then you will always be stuck in the forever cycle of wondering why your life still has not changed. When I look back at my patterns. At my thoughts and how I have set myself up for failure. When I look back at the 15 plus years of worry. Stress. Depression, anxiety , confusion and felling of hopelessness and lack of self love it is no wonder that at 37 I’m not gaining ground. I knew I had anxiety at 19 I knew something was wrong at 22 and 25. I knew I needed help at 27 and 31. My kids were born in 2013 and 2015. 2 boys Alex and Jack. My first intrusive thought of harm towards my loved ones and my children were over 5 years ago and my OCD has gotten to levels of pure insanity. You wanna talk self doubt with me bring it on! I love the challenge and live for the opportunity. I’ve catastrophically put myself in the grave thousands of times. I’ve diagnosed myself with cancers of every inch of my body every time I feel pain or that I’m unsure why my chest hurts , or my throat or head. I’ve worried for 30 years about family and trying to fix dis function . I’ve wrote hundreds of pages in journals trying to tell myself I’m ok. I’ve ignored Drs when they tell me I’m fine and go as far as second opinions or even specialists. I’ve lied to my family and friends and have always been calm cool collective and the person that everyone wants to be around. I’ve grew up in an alcoholic environment and suffered an entire child hood of guilt shame, fear , insecurities and low self esteem. I’ve told myself all the wrong message my entire life and here is the point . Every single thing I have ever thought or told myself that has created this beast that I now have to live with every single day called OCD has not ever even once proven to be true. I still don’t have cancer , I haven’t killed all my children and family. I haven’t gone crazy and been locked up in a mental institution. I yet to run out of a public place in fear of going crazy or embarrassing myself. I sit here today completely successful in a million ways. I have my health. My beautiful children and a wife that cares for me deeply. I have a job that I have been successful at , and it has made me the kind of money that has enabled me to be very wealthy, and I am one of the top guys in the area of my work. Every single one of us has been lying to ourselves about our entire existence. It’s time to recall the self doubting disease , and re name it self empowering disorder. It’s time to not take in another year with the same old mindset and learn to fight back. It takes years to get this far down the rabbit hole and it’s going to take some time to get out. The true key lies in the ability to accept your broken brain. I still struggle daily but knowing that my broken brain is mine and also knowing that the true key lies in the ability to break free and to declare war on the stigma that is diagnosed or classified in everyone of us. We’re all going to die. That’s a fact and from the date they put on the left side of the tombstone is the day you were born. On the right is the day you die and we all have an obligation to make the most of every day that is in between those two dates. If we chose to live anything less than having the amazing gift of life then that’s on us. Dedication and recovery takes time and a lot of hard fucking work!! If you do what is hard your life will be easy but if you do what is easy your life will be hard. I’m in 100% for the hard life. Fuck OCD and the bullshit horse it rode into my life on. Time to wake up everyday early. Get down on my knees and be greatful. Time to exercise daily no excuse. Time to meditate 2-3 times a day no excuse. Time to eat healthy food and treat your body like a temple and your mind like a jewel. Time to read . Time to write. Time to open up and give back and volunteer. Time to give up the fear and thought about climbing the mountain to recovery and wondering if when I get there that I still won’t be better... it’s just time to climb !! The reason people sit back and complain about their current circumstances is because they are too busy repeating the same patterns that have got them to where they are today. Trust me I’ve done it for years so I must be insane. People will hardly ever take the high road because knowing what it takes to be who we all know that we can, and to accomplish the very thing that keeps us all stuck in the hamster wheel is also the very thing that makes us all stuck in the uncertainty that we can never heal. This my friends is why we are all stuck! We make choices to either work our asses off and dedicate 100% knowing there is no guarantee to succeed. Or we sit back and do what is comfortable and familiar because at least with that we know what tomorrow brings! I know what my path is ... what’s yours ??

My OCD/anxiety gets really bad when I’m alone, but sometimes I can’t prevent being alone. I don’t know how to get my mind off of it without others around me