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the NOCD Community

Really suffering right now. Had to call out of work yesterday. I’m having extreme difficulties with making a decision. Why is it so hard to make decisions?!

I'm so *** TIRED of my anxiety. sometimes I can make it easy with my compulsions, but sometimes I can't. I'm tired of my low concentration during doing tasks, tired of re-reading the same part of the text for 3 times (and even more) not because I don't understand, but because I simply can't REMEMBER what have it even said. tired of always worrying about what will be, what others will think, or how I can fail. and guess what? I'm afraid of healing because I don't know who I am without my anxiety anymore. ugh, sorry...

For almost a year I’ve had terrible SO-OCD and gone through brutal stretches of fearing I’m gay or bi. But now I’m fearing I’m asexual.. is this possible for so-ocd? As a kid my fantasies didn’t involve a ton of sex but they did later on. I remember long ago around when I had just learned what sex was I asked my mom, “why do people even have sex?” And she said something like “at a certain age people think it’s fun.” I remember being confused and not understanding why that would be fun. I definitely want to have sex with girls nowadays (although now it’s impossible to tell of course) and the fact I’m still a virgin makes me depressed. But my biggest piece of “evidence” is that I never got into porn like every other male my age (18) and I think society would be better without that culture. I watch it sometimes, rarely, but I just don’t love it like everyone else. Seeing other people’s genitals (particularly the dicks) up close kind of grossed me out. It also makes me feel bad about my own because mine isn’t 2 feet long like those. I also think vaginas up close look a little gross..? Does this all mean I’m not straight and my whole life has been a lie? I’m really scared because this feels a bit different that HOCD but I notice some of the same thought processes as in the HOCD. So my question is: does the fact that I don’t love porn make me asexual, and can SO-OCD extend to asexuality? Additionally I’ve been pretty depressed and exhausted for a long time and I just never have the energy to masturbate anymore. But I remember it was great back when I did! Someone help!!!

I’m scared to see an OCD professional, advice please? I feel like I need it.

What is GAD?

Does anyone know how to get confirmed that your ocd is a disability? Can I go to a psychologist or does it have to be a psychiatrist?

Idk if anyone will see this but I’ll keep you all in my prayers. For those with extreme ocd or pure o like me; living this way is absolute hell and torture. But as soon as you realize that ur initially the one that locked yourself in a cage and only u have the key that’s when you’ll be free. A good support system is always important however nobody can want to help you more than yourself. You must be willing to do exposure exercises and be patient and try eating healthy and look for a cognitive behavioral therapist and keep yourself occupied and test out various medications. I found what helps me is religion, delving into work and working out, being vegan helped balance my emotions a lot for some reason and I’m also on Zoloft. Camomile tea is good too. I have good days and I have bad days but what helps most is saying “I don’t care” even though it’s evident that you do you know who you are in ur heart. The mind is extremely powerful but will is even more powerful, don’t fall for the trap even though the thoughts seem so real. I even sometimes pretend I don’t have ocd that helps too. But most importantly tell yourself I don’t care; I don’t even care if I’m a bad person, I don’t care if I did it on purpose, I don’t care what compulsion u want me to do I’m not doing it. Once u realize that u control ur brain and not the other way around you can literally feel the monster dying. Do whatever it is ur afraid of with baby steps ; a CBT is best for this and don’t do it alone do it with someone you trust . I understand that this disease can be paralyzing and there are times where u can be reasonable and times where nonsense thoughts take over and u forget what’s real, you forget the goal. The goal is you need to help yourself and get better. Those around you are counting on you and waiting to get the real you back. Whenever you feel yourself slipping back and believing the lies DONT FORGET THE MISSION!! it’s not you it’s your ocd it wants to pull you back in. You have nothing to fear but fear itself and the only thing ur doing wrong is listening to the ridiculous thoughts and allowing yourself to get bullied. I’m always here to help, giving up is NOT AN OPTION. Never lose hope you will get better; once you lose hope ur done for. Also remember it’s NOT REAL. And YOU DONT MEAN IT. Lots of love for this community hope you all recover

I’ve never told anyone about my obsessive thoughts, I get random irrational obsessive thoughts that play over and over almost like a broken record like: “killing myself would be fun” or “‘maybe you should just kill yourself” I have absolutely NO suicidal ideation whatsoever, it’s just this empty thought that replays over and over, it feels like my mind is torturing me. Like it’s doing this on its own. There’s sometimes I’ve mentally screamed STOP!! Because I just wanted the broken record or my obsessive thinking to end. I’ve never been officially diagnosed so I’m not sure if I do have OCD but I’ve lived with these obsessive symptoms my whole life. I also always think I made a mistake, so I do things over and over and over again, always double checking.

I want to do a personality quiz to see how much we ACTUALLY have in common, because nearly every time I read a post- it’s a thought that I’ve already had. If anybody else is curious, respond! If this is super dumb, please ignore me ? Age- 21 Age when ocd started- 8 Sex- Female Star sign- Libra Best subject in school- English Worst subject- Science Introvert or Extrovert- I like being around people but it drains my energy so I’m introverted Big groups or small groups- I like small groups because I like to be heard Short temper- Yes!!!! Do you like being a leader- I do Democrat or republican- Democrat Good at art- I am average when I apply myself What’s your best trait? I think mine is my loyalty. I’m a friend for life. I have so many more questions but this is enough for now!

Anyone have tips for harmful thoughts? I’m really on the verge of crying because I don’t have it out for anyone, but now that I’ve envisioned certain things it feels like I won’t see things the same again...

I am having an extremely strong urge to text my gf, because she hasn’t texted me in two hours which is unusual for her. I’m super anxious and keep thinking about her cheating on me. I hate this, but I’m using it as an exposure. I just recorded on the app’s loop tape feature: “my girlfriend is cheating on me with someone else” and I’m listening to it over and over again. Anxiety is still at a 7 but hoping it goes down.

What kind of treatment plan did your counsellor/psychiatrist/psychologist/etc put you on? I don’t have a treatment plan yet and I’m trying to figure out what works for me

I can feel myself slipping back into depression which I haven’t dealt with for a full year. I’m so over my stupid body and my stupid mind. I just want to feel like a normal person.

How do you guys do ERP for harm OCD? Especially the jumping off building thought? I am afraid by deliberately bring the thought on I will somehow gradually agree with, listen to, and act on the thought. Why is sometimes the thought not that strong and I can shift my mind to something else? But sometimes it feels like I am facing a real danger or I can act on it very soon

TOCD is making me really depressed. I just want to feel normal.

My guilt over my pocd thoughts has been progressing and it is because of that same reason I'm scared to fall back into feeling guilty again and not having control over it. I'm like what if one day the guilt becomes so bad that I end up having self destructive behavior because I deserve the worst??? ?

I’m holding a presentation at school about OCD, partly in an attempt to raise awareness in my social studies class, and I wondered how OCD restricts you in your daily life. Also, have it changed your view on life and happiness?

what are some diets that are beneficial and fairly doable for those w anxiety and OCD? I saw a post about paleo down below, are there any others?

How does one do school and also have OCD? I used to be alright at school, now I can barely get anything done. I really don’t want to fail but every time I start working I get overwhelmed and my head hurts.

One of my goals is: if I can successfully make it through this treatment program, and learn hardcore ERP, I would love to share my story with the IOCDF. That motivates me.