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the NOCD Community

Its time for me to leave the app ? My family and therapist have been nagging me about this for the longest time, because they know how problematic forums can be for my mental health. If I don’t have an obsession, I obsess over it until it forms. You guys are a wonderful community and I’m grateful to this app for starting me on my recovery journey, but its time to continue on my own now. Over the past few weeks I’ve been writing my exposure scripts into a notebook so that I can continue on my own, and the last one got transferred tonight. I’ve made so much progress in such a short time, and that’s exciting! Although I’m a little scared about what life might look like if I ever conquer my OCD. Almost all of my obsessions are under control now, and the light at the end of the tunnel is faint, but there. I’m not so optimistic yet, but I have hope. I haven’t disassociated in 4 days! That’s amazing! Since about the start of this year, I’ve disassociated 24/7 out of stress. I know I must be on the right track to be headed this far, and even though I’m still very anxious, I feel like I’m turning a corner. I got OCD when I was 14. I didn’t get a proper medical diagnosis until I was 16, nearly 17. And I didn’t go into recovery until my 18th birthday this year. Some people might view all that as wasted time, but I don’t. I wasn’t ready, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. Some days are tougher than others. I’m still very exhausted and drained a lot of the time. But I’m growing and learning, and every day I get a little bit better! I know its hard. Its so hard. OCD is hard, anxiety is hard, and recovery? Recovery is so so hard. The best advice I can give is to be patient. Don’t be hard on yourself. I constantly beat myself up over how I’m recovering so slowly and then go “...Tabby its been 5 months! Chill!” This stuff takes time. Self care is SO important! We need it more than other people (although I personally believe everyone needs it way more than they think) so make time for it! Learn to love yourself. That’s nearly impossible for me sometimes. I think a large part of my OCD is fuelled by self hatred, and then my self hatred is fuelled by my OCD! Learn to build self esteem. And DONT DONT DONT DONT DONT put things on hold until you get better. Do them now! Show your brain that intrusive thoughts are not important! I wish you all the best on your recovery journeys. Because it is a journey. Its a gradual learning experience, not a race to the finish line. I’m sort of glad this happened to me to be honest. Its been a huge sign to slow down, stop pushing myself, to learn who I am and what I need. Its not easy. But nothing worth doing ever is. Love to you all! ❤️?????

Trigger warning: therapy/ false diagnosis worry. Haven’t posted in a while as things have been looking up, but I went back to CBT today and the latest worries I’ve had my therapist said don’t fit into “OCD categories” and are more ‘what if’ anxiety worries or low self esteem/ self critical thoughts .... my intrusive thoughts seem most distressing and real in times of high anxiety and that’s when I struggle to let them go and take them seriously. Now I’m worried that they were all real, including sexual/ violent/ immoral ones and that I thought I had OCD and I don’t. I thought I was part of a community of people going through the same thing but maybe I’m just a monster if my thoughts don’t even fit the standard OCD pattern :( Anyone feel the same way?

OCD Story Hello there! I recently downloaded this app because it kept coming up on my Facebook feed and wow is this a really great app! I have Harm OCD, Pedophilia OCD, Suicidal OCD, Health OCD, and both with compulsions and Pure O. I was a psych major, so it was easier for me to recognize the symptoms when they became dysfunctional. Please communicate with your therapist if you plan on using any of these methods. Here’s some things I learned that helped me: 1. Meditate. I’m sure you’ve all heard this, but this is one of the best neutralizes to intrusive thoughts and overthinking. The goal of mediation isn’t to stop thinking, but to be still. The link below is a great beginning video that can explain and help teach you what meditation is like. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mtsdz_jhB7c 2. Affirmations. With OCD, we repeatedly tell ourselves negative beliefs in response to the thoughts that come into our mind. And with the brain, the more often we repeat negative thoughts the more likely we are to believe them. So naturally, positive affirmations will work the same way. OCD is built on a foundation of doubt, guilt and shame. There are many affirmation videos on YouTube that can help break down these negative thought patterns. I also found it was easier to admit and say certain things when there was someone else saying them with you. (Also, see MCBT as a treatment method). 3. There is no one source to OCD This was a big one. I was constantly in the battle to figure out the “source” of my thoughts, when in reality it is much more complex. With OCD comes guilt, doubt, shame and an inflated sense of responsibility. There is no “source” because all of those things play into one another. There might be other sources too, such as trauma or experiences, that also come in as a factor. I found the best way to break down those emotions is to increase your sense of humility. Once I engaged those lessons, my “intrusive” thoughts began to decrease significantly. Which brings me to my next point 4. Intrusive thoughts are just thoughts I hate the word intrusive because it perpetuates the idea that we can’t control our thoughts. It’s simply a way to differentiate “bad thoughts” from “good thoughts”, when in reality all thoughts are just neurons firing in our brains. Staying present is also a great way to lessen thoughts that alarm us. Things such as meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, etc. are teaching the brain, and the central nervous system, how to let go of anxious thoughts and give it space to heal. It’s a slow but very powerful method. 5. (Truly) Get in touch with your emotions “Anxiety is seeking fulfillment in the future”. One of the most powerful quotes I ever heard that significantly reframed how I viewed my OCD. For me, my thoughts continuously fulfilled the limiting and false belief that I was a bad and evil person that didn’t deserve any love. So I needed to get in touch with my emotions. What is the purpose of feeling guilty, of feeling fear, of feeling anger? Learning what emotions are, what they mean and use them to make positive change is an extremely powerful method. Overcoming OCD takes time and it involves restructuring many limiting and anxiety-inducing beliefs. Please communicate with your therapist if you plan on using any of these methods. I hope this helped :)

I dont want to have ocd, anxiety, depression, this is not a way to live a life. I cant eat drink, i dont want to go out in case the ocd starts. I have no energy, i barely have strength to talk. My parents are struggling to see me like this. I feel scared, i dont want to live like this, its so horrible ? i keep hoping for a miracle.

I’ve experienced Harm OCD and Existential OCD quite badly these last few months. But my latest concern is that I don’t actually have OCD and I’m just saying that to reassure myself. Anyone else have this issue??

I was recently diagnosed with OCD 2 months ago and wanted to share my crazy story with you all. I’ve showed signs since puberty, but it got really bad 2 years ago when I moved across the country. It was mainly health OCD. Checking blood pressure, pulse, even blood sugar bc I was convinced something was constantly wrong. I have lupus and am afraid of having another illness doctors won’t catch. I had a couple intrusive thoughts about stabbing myself but thought it was a one off thing. I saw a therapist and tried Cymbalta, which helped a little bit but I was never accurately diagnosed w OCD. I moved back home in part due to the anxiety, but my health OCD persisted. June of this year I competed in bodybuilding and my symptoms skyrocketed post-show. 24/7 nausea and heart pounding, but I kept telling myself it’d go away. I was in an intense state of panic for 3 weeks straight without understanding why or how to make it stop. Then I experienced suicidal urges really intensely and constantly, like the anxiety got so high it didn’t know what else to do. I was terrified. I told my family ASAP. I went through a partial hospitalization program and started seeing a therapist, but again wasn’t diagnosed with OCD. They took me off Cymbalta and all I took was Seroquel for sleep. I saw a psychiatrist but she told me there was nothing else I could try (so maddening!) A couple months go by and I’m still getting worse despite being in therapy, and now I have intrusive thoughts of cutting myself CONSTANTLY. I can’t be around sharp objects and keep thinking I’m going to off myself if I’m alone too long. I knew something was wrong but didn’t know what. I thought I was bipolar, schizophrenic, had ADHD, PTSD, constantly jumping from one thing to another to explain what I was experiencing. I still think I’m going crazy sometimes. I thought no one could help me bc I was so strange and unusual. I stopped working. I tried to start college, but October 1st I told my family I couldn’t take it anymore and went inpatient bc of the suicidal urges would not go away. I never wanted to die. My brain was telling me to act, to DO SOMETHING but I couldn’t control it. They started me on Lexapro, but I had bad side effects so I switched to Zoloft. I noticed a difference almost immediately. 10/8 after I was released I did partial hospitalization AGAIN and saw a new therapist and psychiatrist. They both said I showed signs of OCD but I didn’t believe them (I really thought I was a crazy person who would try to hurt themselves). The more I work with my therapist, the more I’ve come to accept the diagnosis. After doing research I see the symptoms fit me to a T and explain a lot of the last 2 years of my life. I feel less responsibility for how “bad” I got knowing it’s a disorder, not my own mishandling of major life stressors. Idk how no one caught it sooner and had no idea it could get so bad. I have a hard time trusting myself. My mom has had OCD since she was a teenager and I see a lot of her in me. A week ago I did ERP for the Suicide OCD for the first time, and WOW my suicidal urges went away almost immediately! This is so long and I’m sorry but i wanted to share this with you all to see if anyone else has experienced something similar. Do not stop seeking help until you find something that works for you!

Does anyone have suggestions for getting over the mental block of accepting thoughts as they are without it meaning that you are accepting the real life action or consequence (ie the content) of the thoughts. Example being accepting the thought of stabbing someone coming into your head without accepting the idea that stabbing is okay or a good thing.

I think my little sister has OCD, she constantly seeks reassurance about things such as whether the dog has died, if the lights are definitely off, if the door is locked... I could go on. She gets quite distressed if you don’t give her reassurance. She seems to have some verbal and physical compulsions too. I also have OCD but it is different from hers as mine mainly focuses on contamination, counting and having things ‘just right.’ I’m not sure how to support her properly because I know I’m not supposed to give her any reassurance but it is horrible seeing her getting anxious. Does anyone know how I can best help her?

Can someone explain to me why reassurance is bad for OCD?? I often have overwhelming anxiety that my boyfriend is upset with me. So I will sometimes ask him if we’re good. Even though nothing has happened to suggest anything is wrong. He knows I have terrible anxiety so he never makes me feel bad for asking. And as soon as I’ve asked I feel better.

Losing my late parents’ belongings is salt poured on an open wound. I feel I keep reliving my parents’ death. So I’m already highly anxious and because of it I was so stupid and careless that I copied something before I pasted on my iPhone. Anxiety and OCD doesn’t really protect you. It destroys you. It robs you of having a decent life. I just want to be happy. I want to be normal. Why do we have to deal with this? Meanwhile my sister who’s older than me had a sheltered life (she lived with my parents until they both passed away few years ago-never once on her own) is having an easy life and still complains about how she has to pay $100/month for rent.

Most days I feel very trapped and depressed due to my severe ocd and specifically my intrusive thoughts. Did SSRI’s help anyone with intrusive thoughts? My brain tells me I did terrible things in the past, and it can be very exhausting and debilitating. I don’t want to live my whole life like this.

I’m having some bleeding with my pregnancy. I am only about 7 or 8 weeks along. I had to go to the ER Thursday for some testing and today it is even worse so I have an appointment in a few hours for more testing at my doctor’s office. My therapist says that my anxiety over these complications is not OCD; that it is valid concern, especially due to the traumatic complications I had with my first pregnancy. So, since it’s not really OCD related, this might not be the best forum to discuss it, but I am just beside myself waiting for the appointment and wanted to air out my frustration.

It’s comforting to know that with OCD, often what makes people describe it as ‘terrible’ and what often makes it ‘terrible’ - is not the intrusive thought - but the fear and negative feelings we attach to it. Now I am able to have intrusive thoughts through out the day - and they don’t give me bad feelings or anxiety bc I know they are just thoughts! Also everyone, even those without OCD, has intrusive thoughts. But the destructive and terrible emotion we attach to it is what makes the experience so terrifying! It is quite comforting to realize this!

I’m 14 years old and I’m pretty sure my doctor won’t prescribe me anti-depressants or something to help with my anxiety but I want to know if they actually work and help and any other alternatives? My anxiety kills me something

What do you do if you feel like you can’t get away from some people who call themselves ‘friends’ but you know that they don’t actually care for you and are no good for you? Since my mental health has been getting worse over these past few months, I have felt like I’ve hit rock bottom. My best friend of twelve years has more or less been avoiding to come and see me. I clearly know that it’s because of the way I feel at the moment & it’s not easy to be around me but I more or less try to hide it all when I’m around people anyway. I feel like most people around me are so bad for me, they add no good into my life and it sure does show when you are going through a bad time who your friends are! Any advice?

I’m starting Mamentine (Namenda)this week to see if it will work on excess glutamate in the synapses. Is anyone else taking this medication? Hope to see better response than SSRI’s.

Does therapy actually help people with Harm OCD?

Does anyone else constantly hate themselves and think that they don’t deserve help? Like I’m not depressed and I just wish I would shut up. I hate how I complain so much and I never seem to be right about anything. I’m never anyone’s favorite or the best at anything. I look weird and I act weird and, I saw someone write this earlier, I feel like I’m in the wrong movie. As if I’m not even the main character in my own life. Sometimes I just want to be alone and lie down and stare at something without feelings for a bit. Idek if this is OCD or if I just hate myself ??‍♀️

cw: weed talk Does anyone have any success stories with using pot, and/or cbd? I recently got my medical card and I’d LOVE to hear strain recommendations, what ratios work best for you, how much you tend to need, etc. Just anything that can help me with the weed <-> ocd correlation. Thanks!

Accepting uncertainty feels like I'm accepting my intrusive thoughts (that I know are false) as truth. Does anyone else deal with this thought and have any tips to avoid thinking this? (I know it's my OCD telling me this so I can continue ruminating and "proving intrusive thoughts wrong", but it's a thought that makes me feel like ERP will make things worse)