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Do I even deserve to live if I'm convinced I'm a pedophile? Do I deserve to eat? To have a home? I feel so extremely worthless. All I do is lay in bed. I don't deserve to do anything else. I should rot in my bed.

“Negative reassurance-seeking”? Is that a thing? I don’t know that reassurance is something I seek because when I worry that I’ve done something immoral I tend to get angry with people who try to tell me what I want to hear, and only listen to people who will condemn me. I’m not diagnosed with OCD (yet) but this is one of the main things I have doubts about. Reassurance doesn’t ease me nearly as much as like... repenting and confirmation that I am bad.

Just wondering if anyone else has this too.. i feel like i often admire other women and sometimes its quite intense (like role models and stuff or people i look up to or wish i could be more like them). Im terrified im secretly in love with them or that in the future it will happen again and then i’ll realise ive been gay all along even though i dont feel attracted to women (although my ocd says im in denial about that). Its killing me, im terrified. Im starting uni in a couple of weeks and im so so scared im going to end up crushing on another girl or something and also that i will never experience strong feelings towards a guy because im denial 😭 i feel like theres too much proof and im in denial and i feel like i cant get treatment for ocd because i probably dont have it because im just in denial or that i have ocd but i am also in denial or something. I know its so stupid, im just really stuck at this point.

I think Ima lose control I have the urge to but I don't want too I don't want my arms anymore! I don't wanna be like that I wanna be how I usually am just shy, quiet and scared. I don't feel scared omg I have this tingling feeling in my feets my arms feel like they're gonna do bad things! I'm just so worried I'll stop caring! I wanna feel like my old self again!

Any other parents on here that deal with POCD type intrusive thoughts and or Harm thoughts? Mine usually are about my own child and it gets really hard for me some times, I love my kid but im very overwhelmed lately and the thoughts are coming back. I'm also 32 weeks pregnant. Last year I was really bad, and on the point of taking my own life due to the thoughts. I've been in therapy for like 7 or 8 months and although I am not diagnosed with OCD, after learning about it over the past few months I think this is what I'm dealing with. I dealt/deal with mental compulsions like praying and asking for reassurance everytime I had a thought. I have gotten better at not doing those things but lately I have been finding myself starting to have thoughts I can't handle again. I've been very over lately and I feel like the thoughts are coming back again and I might be dealing with some depression. I have been diagnosed with depression, GAD, panic disorder and recurrent depression. Therapist said that they can't really diagnose me with OCD because mental compulsions are hard to diagnose or something. Any advice? Any other parents deal with this?

Guys im so scared, i fear psychosis and i know visual disortions is a symptom and 20 minutes ago i was putting my clothes in a bag a i started to see this yellow spot and i started to get so scared and i was like sweating so much and im scared i have psychosis, im gonna insert the pic of what i saw in my vision

Has anyone gotten sober since finding out they had OCD/other mental illnesses and how have you felt since?

Sorry if I haven't explained this well. Does anyone else with SO OCD have a trigger of women that are sexualised in films? At first I'm like freaking out cos my brain is like "she's sexy" (even though that's the point) and is like "straight girls don't find other women sexy" and have this intimidation thing where they feel like child or a boy (or less of a woman) around women like that. When I was younger I used to look up to pretty girls cos they were considered popular and cool and like you know hug them and hang out with them (like little girls do) but my brain is now like "you did that because you're bi, and you only want to be friends with pretty girls which isn't normal and makes you gay". Just wanted it to be said that I do NOT care about appearance. Only personality. I grew up that way and still am that way. I used to be aware of that I was the "ugly" friend growing up so I would try to improve myself to look like pretty girls and my ocd is playing off that and twisting it. I couldn't care less what people looked like, only whether they were a good person or not. Always has been that way for me. But like now, after my ocd started I have an issue with sexualised women and even not because of the intrusive thoughts, but just cos it makes me feel weird and anxious and idk if that's because of the trauma of ocd. Idk. Just want to see if others go through a similar thing??

Someone please help, i dont want This to be true, it feels so real. Omg its like actually have done something to her in her sleep. I Get the urge to just tell my mom and say «i have done it» im scared that that means that i have actually done it. I cant. I will off myself. I cant do tvis anymore im scared i feel so bad my poor sister doesnt deserve This

Yesterday intrusive thoughts not so heavy but today they are very active towards my wife. Some of the kinds of thoughts I have are: tonight is the night to kill her, different ways in which to harm her, you’re going to do it tonight, you want to do it tonight. I’m just letting them little bastards be and trying not to let them distract me from enjoying my life. Y’all can do it to I believe in you!

I can’t live like this

I want to change something I said the other day. The other day I said the reason OCD is so uncomfortable is cus certainty equals safety. But I realize now that may not be fully true. In certain regards certainty can equal a sense of safety, such as feeling certain that home is safe and sound and a place you can always go back to. It feels safe. But certainty can also feel unsafe. People who are always certain something bad will happen, or who always look back in time to bad events that have certainly happened, definitely don't feel so safe either usually. So certainty can equal safety, but so can uncertainty, cus depending on the context, both can keep us present

please i can't breathe i need someone to talk to

Hey you all I'm new here hopefully I cant get some help with my religious intrusive thoughts once and for all

Does anyone else struggle with dermatillomania? It's one of my most significant problems right now and it's one of the only things I can think about. Can anyone relate? Or have any advice on what helps you?

Hey! Any queer people on here with SOOCD? Whenever I try to talk about it with people I end up triggering them unintentionally, so I'm just looking for a community of people with which I can share. Thanks! (For reference, I have both sexual orientation and transgender OCD. I think I'm cis and bi but for a bit I thought I was a lesbian. Comp het kicked my ass most of my life.)

Does anyone who is NOT in a relationship worry about getting into one? I worry my family won't l like him and I'll break up because of that, I'm worried about the ROCD that could come, I'm worried about if I will pick the right person to date, etc. Am I alone in this? Not trying to look for reassurance btw, just wondered :)

This is the most terrifying thing I have ever heard. https://open.spotify.com/episode/5QEPCd447d6PPkUqq02irC?si=YhJiKtVgRbOTjnZS_XaD6A&dl_branch=1 This woman who now identifies as bisexual struggled with SOOCD from the age of 12, just like me. She just couldn’t accept herself. I can’t do this. I’m freaking out.

Can someonw tell me what ruminating is

I started my medication a little over two weeks ago on July 20th. From then to about the 3rd of August I felt great, like I was better, like I could handle things again, and I was sleeping through the night. I was taking buspar 10mg a night before bed. Then I had some panic episodes earlier this week and now it feels nonstop. I started taking buspar 5mg in the late afternoon and still taking 10mg at night before bed. I don’t understand what’s going on with me or what is wrong with me. I’m having anxiety every day almost. I feel like I’m getting worse with each day that passes. I’m waking up almost nightly now in a panic now. The sensations in my body are getting overwhelming. I’m getting so tired and exhausted from dealing with it every day and I just want to feel normal. I keep trying to sit with it. Be okay with it. Talk to it. I get up and go for walks at 3am. But my head feels like it’s in a clamp. There’s so much pressure squeezing my head I could scream or cry. I feel like I’m breaking down, losing my mind, and I don’t want to. I want this to be over, the sensations. The shivering. The pins and needles. The heart and thoughts racing. I just don’t know what to do or where to go anymore. I’m not suicidal but I’m afraid of suicide or getting to the point of just being so fed up I would do something like that. But that’s my biggest fear. Dying. I’m just exhausted and over feeling like this. Buspar worked for my panic/agoraphobia/anxiety back in 2011, shouldn’t it work again for me? That’s the only reason I went back to it cause it saved my life before. I had the same feelings and it handled them all then. Should I give it more time? 3 weeks is august 10th. Maybe it hasn’t gotten into my system well enough and all this anxiety and panic is just me. But part of me wants to blame the medicine for making it worse. But I know I felt this before the medicine. I don’t know I’m scaring myself and I think I’m scaring my fiancé and I just feel so utterly alone and that no one understands.