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Saw hiv posts on TikTok im scared it means something

I'm having a bit of a crisis tonight. I didn't have many clean clothes so I figured I'd do laundry when I woke up (my sleeping schedule is all messed up). I'm weird about touching the laundry soap, I have to shower immediately afterwards so I started laundry and showered. I got out and put on my last pair of underwear and a T-shirt. I didn't have any clean shorts or pants, not a big deal but I feel weird. Whatever. The washer gets done and I go to put the stuff in the dryer and I didn't notice my partners hoodie was in with the dirty clothes. The same hoodie they were wearing a few months ago when our cat had worms and it jumped on their shoulder, leaning something on it. I don't know if it was dirt or poop but my biggest fear is worms/getting worms so I've avoided that hoodie like the plague. I tried ignoring having touched it or that it was mixed in with all of my clothes so I hung up the hoodie but I also had to touch a hanger that isn't ours, I don't know who touched it last or how long it's been sitting there collecting dust. At this point I started panicking so I threw the clothes in the dryer and took a second shower. When I got out I couldn't stop thinking about my clothes being contaminated so I had to rewash them, which means a third shower. But before that I dug around in my dresser for some old clothes to wear that I might of forgot about and sure enough I found a pair of shorts at least so I put them on the bed on my blanket, put the clothes back in the washer and took a third shower, it was mostly cold this time. But when I got out I realized I had touched the shorts on my blanket with my contaminated hand and that they touched my blanket so I threw both off in the floor with my feet and dug through my dresser again except with my foot this time and found a really old pair of shorts that are two sizes too big. At some point, too, I knocked off my 2DS charger onto the floor so I can't use that anymore until I clean it. All of my outside pants are now in my floor, the clothes are washing for a second time and at some point tonight I'm gonna have to wash my blanket and take a fourth shower. I'm so exhausted, I can't take this anymore. I want to cry.

I was at the gas station and the guy next to me pumping gas was talking to me and wanted to shake my hand. I have HIV OCD and I’m afraid that somebody will prick me and why Avoid handshakes or touching people. I ended up, shaking his hand as “exposure therapy”. I told myself to not live in fear and challenge myself and do an exposure to prove to myself that I can handle it. I’m sitting in my car and I’m trying not to let the negative thought get to me. I know if he would’ve pricked me, I would’ve felt it, I would’ve had a bloody stingy finger. I remember his hands being soft. I’m trying really hard to overcome my fears.

So I dropped my phone in the toilet yesterday, and everything seems to pretty much work properly, but I can’t help but keep thinking what if it’s not working properly, what if something is working slower, what if the audio doesn’t work right etc. And like what if it’s not clean after being in the toilet even though I washed it to death. Someone please help and tell me if this is just my OCD, these thoughts will not stop and I’m stressed out.

I’m currently in the process of moving to a new apartment and it’s so mentally draining. I’m still in the process of “decontaminating it”. I wish I was able to just move in and live, but unfortunately I can’t. Although, I do feel that me having to actually clean it myself is exposing me to my triggers. It’s taking so much energy to clean because i’m cleaning things that haven’t been cleaned since it was built.

Anyone here have times where anxiety symptoms affect ability to talk and thoughts. Like you mispeak a lot and have difficulty concentrating? Feels like you mind is deteriorating on the spot? Also I've noticed I have been repeatedly touching my face and pulling my hair more. My left cheek also feels like it is numb but nothing is wrong medically with me

That a question: how many times do you wash your hands if you struggle with that , i need to know numbers and thank you 🙏🏼

Hi. I have severe contamination OCD. I am currently in ERP therapy but I’m so scared all the time. I always have this constant feeling of disgust for myself and I just want to crawl out of my skin. I hate myself because I feel like I always have germs on me and can never get clean. I’m always wearing two masks, wiping stuff down, avoiding situations, isolating, etc. This OCD has made it so hard for me to function. Most days I don’t want to get out of bed for fear of coming into contact with germs. Does anyone else have contamination OCD? Disgust based contamination OCD? Or can relate? I always feel so alone in this and like no matter what I do or say no one understands the feeling of having germs on your skin.

Today i started job of coordinator at a school. I wanted to come out of my comfort zone which is actually my room and i wanted to come in the outside world. I thought i would get better if i spend some time outside but my ocd just flared up. I felt like the environment was not clean enough. I felt like people coming out of the restrooms contaminated everything. I felt the doorknobs and all the stuff was contaminated. Now i feel i am contaminated. After coming home i touched alot of my stuff which is also contaminated. But i cannot wash everything everyday so may be i would delay it to the day i leave the job which i dont want now. I want to do it least few months. I also have magical thinking ocd. I think if i get married and met my husband or his family in my contaminated clothes something is gonna happen and their house will be contaminated too. So i have to wash my whole wardrobe. I am feeling so anxious right now. Cannot do anything but sitting with thoughts

Does anybody else have an extreme fear of engine oil or any other car chemicals? I have been suffering with contamination OCD for the last 8 or 9 years and feel alone with this kind of OCD towards chemicals.

I work in social work and today I went into a home that was infested with fleas. I immediately freaked out. Once getting back to the office I was freaking out, my boss didn’t understand and wanted me to go back. I ended up not listening literally stripping in the parking lot throwing my clothes away and going to a truck stop to shower. Anyway, I’m still stuck on feeling the need to shower every time I go near my car since I was in it before I could shower the first time. Obviously I need to go to work and use my car and I know it doesn’t have fleas but any tips on how to feel better about this? I’ve been too anxious to go near it and every time I do I feel the need to flea bomb the car, throw my clothes out, and shower.

Hi all! I’m new here. I’ve been struggling severely with my OCD for over a year. I’m here because I desperately want to overcome it. Any tips/tricks or advice is appreciated. I struggle with the thought of something being dirty. Even when I know something isn’t. But unfortunately I have to wash my hands/ sanitize or my mind doesn’t let it go and I can’t focus. Things that trigger it: Pet paws. Can’t touch my pets paws or anything they touch without cleaning the objects/ washing my hands. Can’t touch anything that has touched the floor or the floor itself without washing Car door handles Anything in public that others could have touched If someone accidentally spits on me have to wash Etc.

Jayne's back lol. Took a break from here for a few days to be at my best friend's house. So I have a phobia of stinkbugs. I absolutely hate them and most of the time seeing one dead or alive makes my heart pound and my body tremble. Every time I walk into a room upstairs in my house, I look at the curtains before actually walking in just to make sure there isn't one around (because it is a common occurrence to be greeted with one when I come home). I'm afraid of finding them in the toilet (this has happened MORE THAN ONCE), being in the same room as one, hearing them fly, the smell, etc. They freak me out. This has been going on for at least 10-12 years I absolutely refuse to kill/capture them even when they're dead, and don't even THINK I'll sleep in the same room as one (what if it crawls in my ear?? or my mouth?? I know that's ridiculous but I've always been afraid of this). I make my sister/father/friend get them, and I'm often teased/patronized about this. Sometimes my sister flat out refuses to get one just because she wants to spite me. One time she knew there was a bug in my room and didn't tell me, and the next day she told me "you slept with a stinkbug in the room and you were perfectly fine." This of course made me very upset and I got very mad at her for breaching my trust. How could you knowingly do that to someone who is terrified of those things?! When she refuses to kill the bugs, it makes me very upset and worried because then I have to sleep somewhere else in the house (uncomfortable and stressful). Her anger at me for being like this makes me cry because I feel like a pathetic f^cking child, and my family doesn't believe I actually have a phobia. They just think i'm being stubborn and pathetic. I can't help it. I've been doing better with being in the same room when I find a stinkbug, but most of the time I still just flee. I'm so hyper-vigilant of when I see one/might see one that people are often like "how did you know there was one there?" It's because over the years I KNOW what they look like when ANYWHERE— including how they look when they blend in/are partially hidden. Even in my sleep if I hear one, I instinctively throw myself out of bed before i'm even fully awake. I'm ALWAYS sure when I hear one, and I am never wrong in identifying that sound. About a month ago one was on my arm and it freaked me out so bad I got dizzy. Ever since then, if I feel my arm or leg hair move, my mind immediately goes "stinkbug". If I see one at work I feel the need to keep checking to make sure it's not getting any closer. It's like I'm a radar. If i think i smell one (no one else but me seems to smell them when they're crushed?? how can you NOT??) I get paranoid. Anyway I feel so ashamed and pathetic and useless because yes I'll leave the country for the first time completely alone but don't expect me to kill a stinkbug I will cry✌️

my OCD has been SO MUCH better since october but today it has flared up again. I accidentally took a sip of my coworkers drink that I thought was mine because it was right next to me unintentionally just a little sip but enough to send me into a spiral of thinking that I’m going to contract some kind of illness or that their saliva was in the drink and I drink some of it and now it’s inside of me 😖 once I let them know, they joked and said “ well I don’t have cooties and I’m sure you don’t either “ but I can’t help to think that something bad is going to happen over just that little sip. and I kept spitting/rinsing my mouth out multiple times just to be safe but still don’t feel any better.

I went to a traumatic experience 8 years ago, however I never struggled with anything at the time, however last year i started to get intrusive thoughts about STDs, I got tested for hiv hsv2 and 1, went to get a cervix examination at a professional OBGYN everything is clean however I keep thinking I got something now I am obsessing over HPV and it's driving me crazy I don't sleep at night I don't get out of the bed in the day all I do is being afraid to contaminat my husband who I just married, I went to get my nails done and I got cut i freaked out over the STDs I previously tested ,and i want to get tested again, I keep thinking how in few years he will be sick and it's all my fault , and that i ruined his life and he will never forgive me I am taking medication for my anxiety and depression , does anyone have the same thing? Is it normal? Does anyone know how to deal with this?

I think I may have had the worst day of my life yesterday. It started when I struggled with sleeping, only getting three or so hours in before waking up at 6am. Around 8 I had a bad panic attack. I haven't had one that bad in a long time. I had to call my mom to come hang out with me until it passed. Then I finally got some more sleep, not enough still but a few more hours at least until my partner got home from work. They were tired so I had my mom take me to the grocery store so I could get something for dinner for us but we didn't make it there. We got in a car wreck. No one was seriously hurt thankfully. I was pretty shaken up, we both were. I had another panic attack from it in the parking lot of some random hair salon that we pulled into to get off the road. I already feel pretty invisible and like I don't matter so when the paramedic only asked me if I was ok and I said "I think so" it hurt my feelings a little that he left and never checked back on us. Someone else did add before leaving that we could go to the ER if we wanted but it just made me sad to feel so dismissed after getting into an accident. It didn't help that the police officer was a little combative too. We had to wait there for a good 45 minutes before we could finally go home. Of course, with my OCD, I had to shower right when we got home before doing anything because I was "dirty" for going outside. That was frustrating, I couldn't even sit down for a second first. And now it's the next day and I'm still so utterly exhausted and my poor partner, it was there car and they've had to be on the phone with insurance and stuff so they're pretty stressed about everything too and I feel like the absolute worst partner because I can't be there for them more or comfort them. With my OCD I can't even hug them unless I know we're showering afterwards. :( Plus it was partly my fault for the wreck since I was the one that asked to go to the store. If I didn't none of that would of happened. There was a lot of reasons it happened though so I don't fully blame myself and I'm not beating myself up too much but still. Worst day of my life I think and today isn't much better.

For the last 13 years I've been told I have a severe panic disorder, along with every other anxiety disorder in the book, and while I definitely do, No meds have ever helped & after seeing many therapists/psychiatrists, etc, I'm finally seeing one that, withing minutes, asked me if anyone has every tried to treat my OCD first, instead of the panic & anxiety...... Up until that point, I was unaware I had OCD. After more sessions with the Dr, & my own at home research, I could cry. Every weird "quirk" I have, they way I think, what I was always told was hypochondria......it's all OCD. I'm baffled. Anyway, my doctor wants me to try a medication called Luvox (Fluvoxamine). From what I'm reading, it's a pretty common med for OCD. I'm also, however, reading that it can interact with just about everything. I'm not a huge fan of taking daily medications. But, if it could potentially make me feel better, I'll absolutely give it a shot. So my question is, if you've taken this, has it helped? Is there anything I should be aware of? Good things? Bad things? I've googled, but I'd rather hear feedback from actual people who've taken it. Sorry I'm ranting and this is so long, this is a new journey for me, and I'm a little nervous!

I feel so weird and dumb right now, but my brother just moved back into town and needed a place for his things. His “things” meaning a dresser and bed. Well turned out to be a lot more than two things. My anxiety started racing, I could feel my body tense up, I couldn’t catch my breath. Now everything he has brought from “outside” (from his old apartment/ from touching the inside of the dirty y-haul) to inside my clean room. Now I’m freaking out that everything is contaminated. They put it in the bedroom I don’t use, except to store my extra “things”. Now his things are touching my things that I have left in that room as storage. I don’t know how to get out of my head that his “things” are contaminating mine??? Now it makes me not want to use that room.

hi everyone, im new to this therapy & it has been really daunting leading up to getting help. I’ve been struggling immensely with emetophobia for my whole life, but it has taken a huge toll on my life within the last year and a half. my emetophobia has progressively transitioned into agoraphobia and I can’t ever leave my room. just this last day was my last straw, when my roommate came home with the norovirus. he’s not very considerate when it comes to staying clean and quarantining so my head has been spiraling wondering when or if I’ll get it too. i haven’t slept in 3 days & haven’t eaten & I feel that im inducing more harm to myself. I just want to feel better, not worry so intensely. I want to live a normal life without restricting my meals or restricting public places & constantly asking my boyfriend for unfortunate reassurance that I’ll be okay. I really hate to be that girlfriend. if anyone sees this, I really hope that I do get better & that if anyone struggling with the same obstacle as me can get through it. it’s draining, it’s daunting, & so much for one to handle.

Is anyone else scared that when they pee the particles get on you, you can only wear clothes once bc u fear u got poop or pee on them and ur scared u drip and leak. I’m a college student and living in a dorm w ocd is extremely mentally draining especially having to hide it from my Roomate. She knows I have ocd but not the extent. I had PANDAS as a kid and never lost the ocd. I get scared I pee myself when I wake up sweating or wake up having to pee. I hold it in for as long as I can and usually I only wear clothes until I have to use the bathroom bc once I go I’m scared I got urine on them. And TMI but discharge is a whole other story. This may sound crazy but I keep dove soap open by me and wherever I think there’s something I dab some on the spot and that makes me feel better. I’m starting to see a therapist at school so hopefully she can help with this but it’s really stressful. Having this type of OCD in a dorm is rlly hard😅