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Saw hiv posts on TikTok im scared it means something

I'm having a bit of a crisis tonight. I didn't have many clean clothes so I figured I'd do laundry when I woke up (my sleeping schedule is all messed up). I'm weird about touching the laundry soap, I have to shower immediately afterwards so I started laundry and showered. I got out and put on my last pair of underwear and a T-shirt. I didn't have any clean shorts or pants, not a big deal but I feel weird. Whatever. The washer gets done and I go to put the stuff in the dryer and I didn't notice my partners hoodie was in with the dirty clothes. The same hoodie they were wearing a few months ago when our cat had worms and it jumped on their shoulder, leaning something on it. I don't know if it was dirt or poop but my biggest fear is worms/getting worms so I've avoided that hoodie like the plague. I tried ignoring having touched it or that it was mixed in with all of my clothes so I hung up the hoodie but I also had to touch a hanger that isn't ours, I don't know who touched it last or how long it's been sitting there collecting dust. At this point I started panicking so I threw the clothes in the dryer and took a second shower. When I got out I couldn't stop thinking about my clothes being contaminated so I had to rewash them, which means a third shower. But before that I dug around in my dresser for some old clothes to wear that I might of forgot about and sure enough I found a pair of shorts at least so I put them on the bed on my blanket, put the clothes back in the washer and took a third shower, it was mostly cold this time. But when I got out I realized I had touched the shorts on my blanket with my contaminated hand and that they touched my blanket so I threw both off in the floor with my feet and dug through my dresser again except with my foot this time and found a really old pair of shorts that are two sizes too big. At some point, too, I knocked off my 2DS charger onto the floor so I can't use that anymore until I clean it. All of my outside pants are now in my floor, the clothes are washing for a second time and at some point tonight I'm gonna have to wash my blanket and take a fourth shower. I'm so exhausted, I can't take this anymore. I want to cry.

I was at the gas station and the guy next to me pumping gas was talking to me and wanted to shake my hand. I have HIV OCD and I’m afraid that somebody will prick me and why Avoid handshakes or touching people. I ended up, shaking his hand as “exposure therapy”. I told myself to not live in fear and challenge myself and do an exposure to prove to myself that I can handle it. I’m sitting in my car and I’m trying not to let the negative thought get to me. I know if he would’ve pricked me, I would’ve felt it, I would’ve had a bloody stingy finger. I remember his hands being soft. I’m trying really hard to overcome my fears.

So I dropped my phone in the toilet yesterday, and everything seems to pretty much work properly, but I can’t help but keep thinking what if it’s not working properly, what if something is working slower, what if the audio doesn’t work right etc. And like what if it’s not clean after being in the toilet even though I washed it to death. Someone please help and tell me if this is just my OCD, these thoughts will not stop and I’m stressed out.

I’m currently in the process of moving to a new apartment and it’s so mentally draining. I’m still in the process of “decontaminating it”. I wish I was able to just move in and live, but unfortunately I can’t. Although, I do feel that me having to actually clean it myself is exposing me to my triggers. It’s taking so much energy to clean because i’m cleaning things that haven’t been cleaned since it was built.

Anyone here have times where anxiety symptoms affect ability to talk and thoughts. Like you mispeak a lot and have difficulty concentrating? Feels like you mind is deteriorating on the spot? Also I've noticed I have been repeatedly touching my face and pulling my hair more. My left cheek also feels like it is numb but nothing is wrong medically with me

That a question: how many times do you wash your hands if you struggle with that , i need to know numbers and thank you 🙏🏼

Hi. I have severe contamination OCD. I am currently in ERP therapy but I’m so scared all the time. I always have this constant feeling of disgust for myself and I just want to crawl out of my skin. I hate myself because I feel like I always have germs on me and can never get clean. I’m always wearing two masks, wiping stuff down, avoiding situations, isolating, etc. This OCD has made it so hard for me to function. Most days I don’t want to get out of bed for fear of coming into contact with germs. Does anyone else have contamination OCD? Disgust based contamination OCD? Or can relate? I always feel so alone in this and like no matter what I do or say no one understands the feeling of having germs on your skin.

Today i started job of coordinator at a school. I wanted to come out of my comfort zone which is actually my room and i wanted to come in the outside world. I thought i would get better if i spend some time outside but my ocd just flared up. I felt like the environment was not clean enough. I felt like people coming out of the restrooms contaminated everything. I felt the doorknobs and all the stuff was contaminated. Now i feel i am contaminated. After coming home i touched alot of my stuff which is also contaminated. But i cannot wash everything everyday so may be i would delay it to the day i leave the job which i dont want now. I want to do it least few months. I also have magical thinking ocd. I think if i get married and met my husband or his family in my contaminated clothes something is gonna happen and their house will be contaminated too. So i have to wash my whole wardrobe. I am feeling so anxious right now. Cannot do anything but sitting with thoughts

Does anybody else have an extreme fear of engine oil or any other car chemicals? I have been suffering with contamination OCD for the last 8 or 9 years and feel alone with this kind of OCD towards chemicals.

It took me so much effort to get up out of bed after struggling so much and my dog whoo I love dearly is having stomach issues that has caused a mess (which I stepped in as well) and it's just not one of those days I can not DEALLLLL. I can't ERP it and not clean the mess up how my brain things is logical to clean it up, but I literally don't have it in me to deal with this, i am so threadbare in my energy, I have zero spoons left to give, and I just want to scream. Thatwont help anything though. I also have peopole in my life who are extremely needy of me right now for serious reasons I'd like to be there for them for, and I give whatever I have left energy wise to be there for them, and yet it always seems like I am gnot doing enough. I DO try to communicate that I struggling ... I do my best to honor my needs as well but I literallt cannot do it all, and I certainly feel like I can't deal with this dog sh*t literally too. I wish I could get away from it all and escape to a more peaceful way of being. I am so f-cing sick of my brain. I do all the things to work on it and yet here I still am

my OCD has been SO MUCH better since october but today it has flared up again. I accidentally took a sip of my coworkers drink that I thought was mine because it was right next to me unintentionally just a little sip but enough to send me into a spiral of thinking that I’m going to contract some kind of illness or that their saliva was in the drink and I drink some of it and now it’s inside of me 😖 once I let them know, they joked and said “ well I don’t have cooties and I’m sure you don’t either “ but I can’t help to think that something bad is going to happen over just that little sip. and I kept spitting/rinsing my mouth out multiple times just to be safe but still don’t feel any better.

For the last 13 years I've been told I have a severe panic disorder, along with every other anxiety disorder in the book, and while I definitely do, No meds have ever helped & after seeing many therapists/psychiatrists, etc, I'm finally seeing one that, withing minutes, asked me if anyone has every tried to treat my OCD first, instead of the panic & anxiety...... Up until that point, I was unaware I had OCD. After more sessions with the Dr, & my own at home research, I could cry. Every weird "quirk" I have, they way I think, what I was always told was hypochondria......it's all OCD. I'm baffled. Anyway, my doctor wants me to try a medication called Luvox (Fluvoxamine). From what I'm reading, it's a pretty common med for OCD. I'm also, however, reading that it can interact with just about everything. I'm not a huge fan of taking daily medications. But, if it could potentially make me feel better, I'll absolutely give it a shot. So my question is, if you've taken this, has it helped? Is there anything I should be aware of? Good things? Bad things? I've googled, but I'd rather hear feedback from actual people who've taken it. Sorry I'm ranting and this is so long, this is a new journey for me, and I'm a little nervous!

I feel so weird and dumb right now, but my brother just moved back into town and needed a place for his things. His “things” meaning a dresser and bed. Well turned out to be a lot more than two things. My anxiety started racing, I could feel my body tense up, I couldn’t catch my breath. Now everything he has brought from “outside” (from his old apartment/ from touching the inside of the dirty y-haul) to inside my clean room. Now I’m freaking out that everything is contaminated. They put it in the bedroom I don’t use, except to store my extra “things”. Now his things are touching my things that I have left in that room as storage. I don’t know how to get out of my head that his “things” are contaminating mine??? Now it makes me not want to use that room.

Is anyone else scared that when they pee the particles get on you, you can only wear clothes once bc u fear u got poop or pee on them and ur scared u drip and leak. I’m a college student and living in a dorm w ocd is extremely mentally draining especially having to hide it from my Roomate. She knows I have ocd but not the extent. I had PANDAS as a kid and never lost the ocd. I get scared I pee myself when I wake up sweating or wake up having to pee. I hold it in for as long as I can and usually I only wear clothes until I have to use the bathroom bc once I go I’m scared I got urine on them. And TMI but discharge is a whole other story. This may sound crazy but I keep dove soap open by me and wherever I think there’s something I dab some on the spot and that makes me feel better. I’m starting to see a therapist at school so hopefully she can help with this but it’s really stressful. Having this type of OCD in a dorm is rlly hard😅

I just am so sick of constantly battling my mind it’s so fucking annoying like what’s even the point of spending anymore time on earth if non existence is preferable to existence. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD but more obsessions than compulsions it’s really more of a mental fight than anything psychical although I do have a bit of that contamination OCD. I’ve tried the SSRIs and I would 100% reccomend them to anyone who has OCD but it feels like there are too many triggers that force me back into that intrusive thought loop which is just hellish. Its really hard to imagine any sort of torture that could be worse than those thought loops genuinely hard to conceive of any torture even physically that could be worse than that. I have actually been doing much better recently but I really just can’t conceive of going back into another one of those fucking miserable intrusive thought loops again like I see the symptoms coming back and the feeling that I get before the intrusive thoughts start really really piling in has come back again. Idk just thought I should share my experience like anyone else who has this mental condition I feel really sorry for. Here’s something that I read I feel like was really important that I wanted to share with anyone else who has OCD “You are a sensitive person, so altruistic that you get worried by even having bad thoughts. Learn to be a bit more selfish, and fight for your own happiness. You truly deserve it!”

I just took my 4th shower, maybe my 100h hand wash, I've done laundry twice, I had to clean my glasses a few times. I've basically spent all day on edge and getting tiggered, trying my best to ignore it just to get triggered by something else and spiraling. I haven't stopped moving for 12 hours and I'm not even done yet, my blanket is still in the dryer and I probably need to eat. I needed to clean my four "safe" cups but only managed doing one after not having anything to drink for three or four hours. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry and play animal crossing but my 2DS is dead and my charger is "dirty" and I just don't have it in me to clean anything else if I can help it. :(

My beloved cat of 6 years is extremely sick, i adopted him when i was in the army and hes always helped me get through my PTSD. After about 1K in vet bills the vet said he likely will not survive this week, and i should consider euthanasia as its most likely advanced pneumonia or heart disease. Hes a indoor only cat and when i was trying to feed him his tooth scratched me and i got a tiny cut. Now my OCD is trying to convince me i somehow got rabies on top of it already going crazy and mourning my cat even though hes still fighting and not yet gone. I feel awful that now im scared to continue caring for him because now im scared of being near him

I am going a weekend away for trainings for my sports with the team that I coach. We might barbeque and I am really nervous for that, as I have been avoiding meat. I am not sure the guys will wash their hands properly, really nervous that I will feel contaminated or accidentally get bacteria on me or contaminated contact lenses :(

I miss getting midnight snacks but now I refuse to do it because of the germs in the kitchen and don’t want to bring it into my room after I’ve showered. Or I miss being able to go outside and come back home and not worry about germs in my home or my room. I miss being able to hangout in my room calmly. Now, whenever I leave my room I can’t come back inside until I’ve showered because I don’t want it to become contaminated. This is mostly just me missing hanging out in my room like before. I remember having friends over a lot and never worrying about where they’ve been cus I didn’t care. I miss how pretty my room used to be. Now it’s empty because I’m scared to add posters due to germs being on my posters and spreading all over my walls. I miss having fairy lights all over my room.