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Took my blood pressure 2 days ago at doctor and it was high I just took it at the pharmacy and it was high again now I can’t stop thinking about it about it and how I m gonna die from this

I have some friends who belong to a Reformed Presbyterian Church, and I found out that the Reformed churches follow tenants of Calvinism. The teaching here on the Sovereignty of God specifically is such a comfort to my OCD heart. The absolute sovereignty of God means that I can’t mess up his plans. I don’t have the same weight of responsibility to keep my soul safe (or anything else). I am finding comfort in that.

i’ve had this theme over and over throughout the years but everytime i spiral i get so scared. I keep asking myself if i think im having ocd if if im being fr. I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.

I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.

I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.

OCD brings so much unnecessary guilt and shame, and I understand we need to accept the uncertainty and be able to find forgiveness within ourselves if we are dealing with past issues, but is it really possible to eliminate these negative feelings and be able to focus on the present? I'm always looking back and wishing things had ended up differently. "Maybe if I didn't do this, maybe if these things didn't occur... Maybe." It wasn't always like this for me, and that's how I've been holding onto hope that things will improve if I continue to march forward, seeking help from professionals and people around me. But, I still have those thoughts... That life would be much easier if I didn't have to deal with any of this, and these thoughts act as a weight that tugs me down and keeps me from progression. How do people do it? I flip-flop between this multiple times a day. I'll be hopeful, and then the next second, I don't even want to be here. I'm going to be seeing my psychiatrist in a little over a week from now, but I've picked up so many new fears since my last appointment (a month ago). There's always something... It feels impossible. I know it technically isn't, but still. I've seen people that have more extreme cases than my own, and they've been able to recover. But if it isn't my exact situation, the doubt always finds a way to sneak in, and it makes me feel like I don't deserve a future where I'm not constantly being bombarded by intrusive thoughts and things. Before this, I had intrusive thoughts. It's normal, but I didn't remember each and every one, if any. It's hard to move forward with all of this, coupled with the loads of trauma I have to unravel. I don't feel like a "normal" life is even possible for me. I miss who I was a year ago. I've lost all confidence in myself in the span of seven months. I feel like I have whiplash from how quickly things changed. This post started out with a genuine question, but it turned into a mini vent. I'm sorry😭 I'm genuinely curious if life will ever go back to how it was, or if people just live with this constant voice in their heads shouting at them every day.

Hi everyone, I hope everyone is hanging in there! I just wanted to let people know that God is really helping as he is using a Naturopathic Doctor to help me who uses “Cellular Medicine” to help heal disease. I was on the Max of Clomipramine 250 mg, the common OCD Medication. I am down to 150 mg now and I was on a heavy “Anti-Psychotic” called Perphenazine…honestly, I now don’t need it, somehow being psychotic was affecting my “OCD”, now I am not on any of the Anti-Psychotics and my OCD is like 5-10% of what it originally was….This is such an amazing blessing from God!! If anyone wants me to explain “Cellular Medicine” and what I take I will gladly share…..I have posted things like this in the past and I think some have found it annoying even though I am just trying to give hope. Thank you for healing Jesus!! God Bless everyone

I think I have pots and I am freaking out because there is no cure. I am getting intrusive thoughts like what if I never feel better again. I was supposed to go outside today and when I lifted my jacket to wear it, I started feeling light headed as if I will faint. I had to lie down on my bed with my heart pounding, with deep pounding. The closest thing I can explain is it felt like low blood pressure feeling or if you take too much blood and you feel woozy. I am in severe discomfort.

Happiness is a universal aspiration that transcends cultures, ages, and backgrounds. It is often described as a state of well-being, contentment, and joy. Yet, the quest for happiness is not always straightforward. Imagine embarking on a journey to find a hidden treasure. The map may guide you, but the path can be winding and fraught with obstacles. In our relentless pursuit of happiness, we sometimes veer off course, seeking fulfillment in places that ultimately lead to disappointment or harm. At its core, happiness can be understood as a treasure chest filled with emotional states and life satisfaction. It encompasses feelings of joy, gratitude, and fulfillment. However, this treasure is subjective; what brings joy to one person may not resonate with another. Just as different explorers seek different treasures, the pursuit of happiness is both fascinating and complex. Research suggests that happiness can be influenced by various factors, including relationships, achievements, health, and even genetics. While external circumstances can play a role, many psychologists emphasize the importance of internal factors such as mindset and resilience. Ultimately, happiness is often found in meaningful connections with others and a sense of purpose in life. Humans are inherently driven to seek happiness, much like adventurers setting sail for uncharted waters. This quest can lead us to explore new experiences, forge relationships, and pursue goals that align with our values. However, the desire for happiness can also lead us down darker paths. In an attempt to escape pain or dissatisfaction, some individuals may turn to substances like drugs or engage in addictive behaviors. The allure of quick fixes can be tempting—like finding a shortcut on your treasure map that promises immediate riches. Drugs and addictive behaviors may offer temporary relief from emotional distress or a fleeting sense of euphoria. However, these shortcuts often lead to negative consequences—physical health issues, strained relationships, and emotional turmoil. Instead of uncovering lasting happiness, individuals may find themselves trapped in cycles of dependency and despair. To cultivate genuine happiness, it is essential to focus on sustainable practices that promote well-being—much like taking the time to chart a careful course on your journey. Building strong relationships is crucial; investing time in nurturing connections with family and friends provides vital social support for emotional health. Practicing gratitude by regularly reflecting on what you are thankful for can shift your perspective and enhance your overall sense of well-being. Engaging in meaningful activities that resonate with your passions and values provides a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Prioritizing self-care through exercise, healthy eating, mindfulness practices, and adequate rest is equally important for maintaining physical and mental health. If you find yourself struggling with addiction or persistent unhappiness, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support. The pursuit of happiness is an integral part of the human experience—a journey filled with twists and turns that offers opportunities for growth and self-discovery. By focusing on meaningful connections and healthy practices, we can navigate our journey toward true happiness—one that enriches our lives rather than detracts from them. Remember that the path to happiness is not always linear; it requires patience, self-reflection, and a commitment to well-being as we seek our own unique treasure in life.

Does anyone else use substances to escape your OCD spiral? A few years ago I never would have dreamed of it, until my OCD flared up during 2020. Now I use cannabis to calm my brain down which is dangerous for me as its 50/50 it'll calm me down or make me panic or will push me down the existential rabbit hole. Alcohol is a big one for me, too. Was asked to admit I was an alcoholic this year. Unfortunately, also a symptom of my OCD. When the guilt and paranoia is this extreme, I'd rather take the 50/50 chance than still in this deadly cycle. I might delete this if it causes me too much paranoia, but this is my first post here and I'm happy to meet all of you.

Hi I won’t disclose my name or age but I am young and still live with my family I have 3 siblings all of them live out of the house I struggle with a dad who screams all the time and has always been aggressive he has done a lot for me in the sense of taking me on trips and providing but when I comes to emotional stuff or caring what I think at all he ignores me and tries to say I’m being dramatic and push down my emotions. I also have a very Christian mom she has been 7th day Adventist since I was around 11 and she tells me everyday to get ready bc the world is going to end and we will all die she forces Jesus on me a lot. I am Christian and I do believe in God but it can be hard sometimes when I try to tell her something sensitive and that is her only answer. I argue with both of them a lot and have trouble handling my emotions so I sit in my room all day after work or school. The only time I really talk to them is when I need something so they always think I’m using them and that’s not what I want but I can barely talk to either of them without getting mad or upset about something. If you have any questions ask me I will explain more but can I please get some advice on how to fix this.

I was doing fine with my schizophrenia ocd (fear of developing schizophrenia/psychosis), mostly because I was obsessing on something else for a bit, but something caused it to come back. I was at work yesterday and checked out a customer, he didn’t know English very well and was very quiet. However, when he was leaving, he said “thank you” loudly while walking out and I told him to have a good night, but since I couldn’t see his face nor his mouth move, I worried that I hallucinated the whole thing and he in reality didn’t say anything while he was leaving. The voice that said it sounded a bit different, however it could’ve just been since I had only heard him talk quietly before. I’m still wondering if I hallucinated this and it freaks me out, causing my ocd to make me believe I’m developing schizophrenia/psychosis or losing my mind again. I also always read that the difference between those with schizophrenia/psychosis is those with OCD have insight and know their thoughts are crazy, but then that leads me down a spiral if what if I DONT think those thoughts are crazy? What if I actually believe them and become delusional/lack insight? So a statement that would be helpful otherwise made it worse for me. One night I had a panic attack super bad because I couldn’t convince myself I didn’t believe I was in a dream and hallucinating. Any advice on beating these constant thoughts and how to cope with it? :/

I feel like the thoughts are actually me now. Specifically the ones about my sexuality. I’m bisexual so yes I do like women but I’m worried I ONLY like women now and will lose my bf. Idk if I actually want to have sex with a woman. I’ve never had the desire to. Idk if I actually want to leave my boyfriend. Right now I feel indifferent when a few hours ago I actually felt normal feelings. I’m scared im never gonna enjoy sex with him again and I’m gonna be leading him on for years denying that I only like women when I do actually like men and enjoy sex with them it’s just when I have a lot on my plate (my thoughts, finals, other family stuff cuz yay holidays) I can’t actively enjoy it and want it to be over faster. I hate this. I just want to be normal. I’m getting Groinals over nothing and idk how to deal with them. Like I’m reading a story about lesbians coming out or I’m typing smtjn about my anxiety around the thoughts of my sexuality and I feel smthn down there. And I’m worried it’s true. I don’t feel actual anxiety in my stomach about it but I start ruminating but still feel confused. There’s no answer at the end. Is that normal? Idk what to do. My therapist and I took a break cuz Christmas so I’m out of therapy for 3 weeks. What can I do? What happens if I actually do enjoy the thoughts? I know it wouldn’t take away from me loving my boyfriend but I’m worried it’s gonna be stronger but again, doesn’t take away my love for him. Even if I’m slightly more attracted to women, I still like men. I can’t imagine myself being intimate with anyone anymore tho. Except my boyfriend when it’s actually happening but lately it feels like a mental block before we start but I go forward anyways. How do I know if it’s denial or if it’s just ocd? I’m scared that I’ll come out the other side of this a lesbian. My brain is already conjuring up thoughts of “aha I’ve solved it I’m a lesbian” when NO!! I LIKE MEN. I know I do. I just also like women. YOPPEE me for having options. CAN I PLEASE BE HAPPY WITH THE OPTION I CHOSE? THE TALL NERDY MAN J FELL IN LOVE WITH? FOR JUST A MINUTE? How do I know if I actually don’t have feelings for him and am just holding on cuz of denial? How do I know? I want a future with him and it seems so peaceful and beautiful but then my brain says “noooo you’re gonna break up with him cuz it’d be better being with a woman. Jordan wand is dating alistair and she’s happy” like good for her she has a gf but she’s also bi and likes men she’s just dating a woman. SHHH. Like my brain is convincing me that “ah yes this is the wrong person for you stupid.” No. I know I should stop fighting the thoughts but accepting uncertainty scares the shit out of me cuz what if I accept too much of it and actually end up hating my boyfriend. Even if I do remain bi what happens then? It’s 6 am I need to sleep I’ve been up all night. I’m supposed to study but I can’t.

I've had a recent traumatic event in my family intensify my OCD as of a little over a month ago, and I think I've had it for most of my life and was able to get by, but now it's lowkey been consuming my life. The shape-shifting it's doing is wild too. It feels like a slot machine of subtypes and my OCD picking what it feels like ruminating about. Like I feel like I'm going insane sometimes ngl. It started out with like harm ocd, and it's shifted to suicidal ocd, existential ocd, schizophrenic ocd, psychosis ocd, then somatic ocd, religion ocd, and health concern ocd and probably others too tbh And as of tonight I'm having depersonalization/derealization symptoms to where I feel like things aren't real which I haven't really experienced before. I started Paxil a few days ago, so who knows if that is causing part of it. I'm kind of just trying to laugh it off, like idk if that makes me insane or not, but just like laughing at all of the shape shifting anxiety and ocd is doing to me and my thoughts. Like in the back of my head I'm like am I manic, or like why am I laughing at this feeling but I'm just going to try and accept these feelings and emotions as they are. I just thought I'd share my thoughts and feelings - and if anyone has experienced the shape shifting that ocd can cause lmk. I'm gonna try and sleep this off lol

i had my therapy session i did an exposure but lit my fear of death has been sticking with me for the past few days.. it’s so hard bc i have this constant “what if i die?” or “what if i wanna hurt myself?” with my sucidial ocd… and i’m like doing my exposure trying not to do a compulsion… bc this is my MAIN MAIN theme that bothers me… and my fear of depression comes along and says “what if ur depressed and don’t care and u wanna die? or ur gonna die?” especially it’s my last year of high school and i lost my best friend last year from her dying and i’m so scared bc i have this thought “what if something bad happens on the day she passed away or what if u die at the end of the school year…” or “what if u die before graduation?” because my graduation is on her birthday… and like my ocd is just making me feel down and it’s just ugh i want it to go away i’m so scared i’m gonna feel miserable like this i don’t wanna think of death and i’m so scared of it

I got stuck in a Solipsism spiral and I feel like everything and everyone is fake and all in my head like a dream is all in your head at night. I feel like i’m never going to feel normal again and alone and stuck. I feel like everything could be in my head and nothing exists. Please can someone tell me they felt like this before and got over it eventually and back to normal.

I am currently 17 and I’ve had ocd ever since I was a child. Everyone noticed around me because I was obsessed with washing n my hands and having perfect handwriting to a point where while taking notes in church, I erased the letter “e” and had my cousin fill in the letter e through my whole page of notes. I would want notebooks to be perfect often resulting in me ripping imperfect pages off and ruining the whole book. I would erase till the page ripped. Later as a kid I watched movies like coraline and was felt that because of me doing certain things, I sent myself to an alternate reality. (I know it sounds insane but I was a child with ocd). I was convinced that because I did the Bloody Mary challenge in elementary school, I sent myself into a fake alternate dimension. I would have to do the Bloody Mary challenge and even amount of times to reverse it and recall the exact events of when I did it. I also heard about the Truman show and felt that I was in a simulation and would have to do certain things to get out. This gave me severe depression in middle school. I would walk backwards on tiles to make sure it was even. I would have to touch things an even amount of times and do intrusive thoughts like breaking this keychain I made and loved. I would pet my dog and think the most horrific things of her injured and would have to pray to protect her. Eventually as I got older, my trigger became forgetting things like forgetting thoughts that could be important or important TikTok’s so every time I scrolled on TikTok I would have to scroll all the way back up and would have anxiety if the page refreshes on its own. I am obsessed with dropping or leaving stuff so I always look back like a crazy person 24/7 to see if I dropped something. I would take excessive random screenshots to not forget something or if they jog a memory. I fear I accidentally close tabs on my computer which drives me insane even if I never even touched the tab. I have a hard time throwing away empty packages just in case something is in it that I never noticed. Sometimes I become hyper aware of swallowing. I get scared because as a Christian, blasphemy is an unforgivable sin so I would have panic attacks thinking my random intrusive thoughts were real and blasphemy. I would be confused with my sexuality even though I know I’m straight. And a lot of my irrational things I am aware are crazy but still am urged to follow through even if I suffer. I get obsessed with getting good sleep and if something I did in my past will actually be a major health problem. I would think that something I did in my past is gonna make God punish me. I get obsessed with my clothes or hands getting dirty so I’m always washing it. I get obsessed with being pretty and used to screenshot like 100 photos of pretty people. I have an overall obsessive personality. I also overthink about everything I say. Overall these are my most noticeable symptoms and my story. I know 100% that I have OCD and everyone around me knows but I just never had the means to get officially diagnosed because I only recently opened up to my parents on how big of a problem my ocd actually is and I didn’t want to pay for help. This is my ocd story.

Basically I started having derealisation episodes back in 2017 and ever since then there have been multiple themes that get stuck to my head convincing me that I’m the only one in this world and other people aren’t real. I got a lot better in 2021 but this year it started to happen again and I find myself wondering that what if I’m in a brain in vat simulation and I’m the only one there with other people as AIs. But I realized that statistically the chances are very low and when I can scientifically refute such thoughts I feel a lot better. But today I have been feeling very anxious and another thought popped into my head that ok what if this simulation has more people like a billion (which increases my chances of being in it) and the remaining billion are AIs. Can you pls help me refute this thought scientifically and logically like why would it even be needed etc? Thank you 😭

Trying to finally start facing my Existential OCD and thoughts. When I get a scary thought, fire example “what if nothings real and i’m imagining everything”. I then tell myself maybe and distract myself. After doing this, I feel very on edge and everything feels unreal and fake and dreamy (might be partly dpdr) but it’s almost like i’ve fully accepted nothings real and i’m scared i’ll feel like that forever. Is this normal or am I doing my ERP wrong?

i’m having sm anxiety rn bc i had a choir christmas party yesterday at school and we had snacks and sugar and i think sm sugar can make ur ocd rise bc it’s technically caffeine but also since i’m a senior in high school we had this thing for seniors and i got 2 cookies i ate that so i think it generally messed with my anxiety and ocd but when i got home i was so tired and felt bleh but i was anxious bc my fear of death ofc was like “what if ur dying?” and i’m having trouble breathing bc i woke up from a nap yesterday and i was panicking bc i thought i was gonna puke… but i woke up from a morning headache and i was anxious this morning but i’m like ugh it’s so hard bc my head feels weird and my body feels weird like almost like a burn out after anxiety?? but like i took a tylenol idk if it helped… but my head feels weird and body feels weird like almost light headed but not? and tired feeling but then my health, sucidial, and fear of death in general has been going back to back