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Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and cause stress which mine do but also when I’m mad I get this rage feeling and say I wanna stab someone like that feels like a. Want not intrusive why am I saying “ I wanna “ :(

Bro I'm scared rn, so there was a compulsion I did like 2hrs ago and I didn't do it properly cuz I kept getting a thought saying "something is gonna come in Ur room and kill you or you will have this illness It triggers me to say it but I froze because I kept seeing like a shadow and cuz I was home alone and it's dark so I didn't answer it 😃 and cuz I answered it late saying obviously I don't want to illness I would rather have the other (half of me knows it's not real), and I prayed 4 times as well cuz I didn't do the compulsion properly I tried doing it again logs if times and 1 hour later I tried again but It still didn't feel right, and now the thought is hurting my body a little and I feel shivery, and I have tried doing the compulsion but it's not working. Why can't these thighs just leave me alone and stop saying about illnesses all the time. And idk how I'm gonna get thru the night cuz I can't get the thought out of my head and I won't be able to do anything properly.

Okay so there’s been a few times where my boyfriend has hit me lightly across the face always in a jokey way and never hard. However I cry every time because my ocd says it’s abuse (you know what ocd is like 🙄) I told him not to do it cause I don’t like it. However I jokely hit myself a lot and pull my hair out pick my nails etc and he hates it because to him “I’m self harming myself” so he hits me across the face (not hard just a tap) as he says to him it’s okay in that context cause it’s to stop me from doing it to myself and he says “it’s like telling a kid to not have chocolate but having it yourself. Today, He pushed my head away jokely cause I said a joke to him about him and I said I told you not to and he said “it wasn’t your face” I asked him why he does my face and he says he does ir on purpose as he thinks the context he does it in is okay as he does it cause im hitting myself and he said “it’s like telling a kid not to eat chocolate but then eating it yourself” he means cause I tell him not to hit me but I hit myself or pull my hair out and he says it’s no difference… He says when I bring it up it’s like I’m always picking a fight Is this ok? He’s a lovely boyfriend and has never ever gave me any other problems.. it’s just this one thing. It’s never hard it’s just a tap. Should I worry or is my ocd interfering with this.

i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self

I can't figure out what type of OCD I have. I must be the only one who has mental hoarding OCD with some Just right and death themes. I've never seen a description of someone's symptoms that match mine. Mine are a combination of Just right and mental hoarding of a memory. Like if I have dinner, I need to do a routine where I take in various elements on the environment - the food, my phone, the people around, pets, the coolness of the air con, and think of them in a specific syntax. I need to go through this thinking cycle without also thinking about certain people, deceased people, any themes of death, certain colours (red and black mostly) and then when I get to the end I deliberately have to think about something that is anti-death, like a particularly person who is younger, a certain good colour. But there are other conditions to prevent having to re-do the routine. The phone can't give me a notification or ring. Then I have to touch the phone and think of a supporting person or colour. On top of this, if I go to Youtube, Facebook or anywhere else and I see something related to death first I have to re-do the whole routine. I have a pre-thought that protects me if I do see something in the theme of death. Touching a cat tail will re-trigger the routine and so will touching a certain matt or matts in my house without first say '1,2,3,4'. I do these mental hoarding routines every time I eat, every time I leave the house, every time I leave work, before I go to sleep. The other element of this is protecting loved ones and pets. In some of my routines, around food, leaving the house and going to bed, I have to mentally think of everyone in the house and all of my pets in the same way as above. I dont even know if it is OCD. It's mostly mental compulsions. I don't get anxiety, just discomfort. As exotic as my symptoms seem to be, I don't think my OCD is as bad as it is for others. it's a bit Just right and thats it. My symptoms do not fit any of the categories.

I get these violent urges thats started randomly and now i feel like ill hurt someone it feels impossible to control almost gets me shaking

Hello does anyone get such severe panic and anxiety that comes along with bad intrusive thoughts. Then the thoughts give you more panic because you feel you may act on them? Then I worry I’m going crazy, can anyone relate? Thank for reading

PLEASE HELP ANY ANSWER WILL DO So I moved to a big city a few months earlier and it was summer, so it was hot. I slept with my window and balcony door open for air. One night, whilst i was trying to sleep, i heard what seemed to be a woman m*aning at times. At first it was annoying and was like omg stfu but it's embarrassing but soon I felt a bit aroused by it. Then, so many months later, I got a thought, what if it wasn't a woman but a child crying? And I got so terrified and I began trying to remember the memory again to remember exactly what I heard, then began looking on youtube what children sound like when they cry to make sure it wasn't what I heard. I'm absolutely terrified. I can't even check to make sure. I need help

I’m feeling really scared I’ve been left in the lurch by my therapist today as she said she doesn’t feel comfortable doing anymore therapy with me unless I increase my mirtazipine (Remeron) as my OCD has spiked a lot since I started with her and I’m only just at the beginning, but I’m not sure increasing my meds is the right thing to do so much as what she’s doing is causing it …….. basically my OCD theme is it tells me I’ve done horrendous things like I’ve harmed people, it’s in the affirmative tense not the “what if?” anymore, I guess it’s a bit like it tries to give me false memories but isn’t quite the same,and I just feel so unarmed how to deal with it and I’m really scared I’m going to end up in a very very dark place again 😭

I’m having hitman ocd thoughts and I feel like I’m gunna google how to hire a hitman UGH so it feels like I’m gunna type that and I can’t use google so as erp I’m using google but this is fucked

Hi All, just wondering if anyone here has any tips with dealing with uncertainty? My OCD centres on my being worried that I have committed a crime and can’t remember doing so, I was out last weekend and my mind is telling me I attacked somebody as I got an intrusive thought to do so when passing them in a bar, my therapist says I need to sit with the uncertainty that maybe I did and maybe I didn’t and have to be ok with that But if the answer is yes then how can I be ok with committing a crime and going to jail??, it’s affecting my relationship and I’m going on holiday on Friday and I’m worried it will ruin that, any tips would be greatly appreciated.

Soooo maybe a bit TMI, but I just struggled to take a shower because my mind was convincing me either a shark or, and this is just recently, that a ship propeller will just come out of nowhere and kill me! Does anyone else have these wild creative messed up images? It got so bad I had to cut my shower short!

A lot of times I feel like I truly don’t have OCD but then I’m very humbled when I get gruesome images and thoughts of killing my family. I just have a hard time not letting the thoughts stick and try to find the meaning of it. I just feel so stuck with my intrusive thoughts/images. They bring on so many sensations that feel real. I’m just not sure how I should be reacting to them.

When I was a child 7-10, I had this wonderful dog. I loved him so much. However sometimes, I would hit him out of either anger or because I liked the way he would lick my hand to say 'sorry'. At age 13, my OCD sparked up badly. I had no idea what it was, but I would bully him. Badly. He was never hurt, but he was agitated. Then I found some kittens and saved them just after turning 14. I let them stay in my room with me for a few weeks to help them. One very early morning, however, they raged me so bad that I began hitting them nonstop. They didn't cry, nor do run away. Hell, all of my pets were never ever scared of me. They loved me for some reason. For so long I've been doing my best to help animals and adore my pets, and I've sworn to never EVER hurt an animal again. I love them so much. I remember though I would never hit them so hard to make them cry out, because I've been inflicting the way I hit them onto my arms and thighs to see how bad it hurt, and gladly, it didn't really hurt. Stung a bit, at most, but doesn't make what I did anymore okay. Do I deserve my babies anymore? Do I deserve to even live? I feel so ashamed and I don't want to use my OCD as an excuse, nor say that maybe I was traumatised because of it because people have been through worse than me, so I don't want to compare. Any small comment will do, thank you for reading

Hey guys. I feel like no one will even reply to my post. I feel anxious af. I could barley eat a plate of soup. I feel so drained and fatigued and feel the anxiety in my stomach. I'm just so worried I don't even have harm ocd anymore. Its just... I grew up in a household where swatting people was normalized like if you did something really naughty. I never really questioned it and I grew up thinking it was an okay thing and would sometimes swat someone when they are being naughty growing up and even recently. I would never swat someone at full force or enough to make someone cry just more like a hard tap to get their attention but it feels automatic? And even then it's really really rare for me to do, i much rather talk sternly or tell someone. When i do swat its bc like if someone scared me I guess I hit their hand and say "THAT SCARED ME" and we both start laughing or if my older niece was roughhousing with her younger sister and the younger one gets hurt and the older one laughs, I swat the older one once or twice on her arm as a discipline and say "what is wrong with you??? Why are you laughing? You are much older than her! You could've seriously hurt her." And idk how but i never thought like how wrong this is?!... and I feel like sh/t like ocd keeps saying "well you have swatting impulses when someone is misbehaving or if someone scares or hits you, meaning if you get an impulse to do something really evil instead, you wouldnt be able to control yourself huh?" And I started to get so anxious and scared. Ive NEVER acted out on the harm ocd thoughts (nor do i even want to) ive been getting daily for 4 years even when they are misbehaving. But i get so scared like WHAT IF I get an impulse to do the evil thoughts? What if I lose control?! Is this a history of violence/ low impulse?! Does this mean i would act out on my fears?! I've never wanted to do these thoughts before but i get scared like what if I do one day? This whole day ive been ruminating and asking ai for reassurance. I feel terrible. I feel like a horrible person. I started to cry. I just cant anymore. I feel this weight on my chest. I feel so evil so irredeemable. I f/cking suck. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so much guilt and shame. Why am I still here anymore? Maybe i dont even have ocd and maybe i never did. This is just breaking my heart. I want to change and unlearn this swatting behavior as well for sure. :(

I was driving when I passed by 2 kids playing with a ball in their front yard, their ball made it to the street, I slowed down and continued my route and looked back to to make sure they’re ok and when I got home I started getting intrusive thoughts that I ran over the kid 😢

Hi guys. Hope everyone is okay I just wanted to ask for some ppl to share how they overcame harm ocd completely so that I can get an idea of how to work towards healing. Thank you :)

I am a girl's in my twenties. I got diagnosed with OCD last year. I have a boyfriend, sadly we're long distance right now. I've liked boys all my life. It's very difficult to sustain intimacy in a long distance relationship. Sometimes I have intimate calls with my boyfriend and it's nice. Other times, however, (and I am not proud of it) I do watch porn. I started watching porn when I was 16. I've tried to quit it many times but every couple of weeks I go back to it. And as everyone knows, one of the MANY problems with it is that your brain will always ask for more. More taboo things, more explicit things. I have a daddy kink. I've roleplayed with my boyfriend and watched porn of this kink. Now, the thing is that my brain keeps telling me that I won't orgasm unless I think of little girls being ab*sed. I've never looked for that on the internet, I never want to either. I am under EXTREME DISTRESS, because what my brain tells me feels SO REAL, and it's like my pleasure gets blocked and that contributes to me thinking my brain must be right. It wasn't like this before. I want to go back. I'm scared it will be like this forever now.

I’m scared I keep thinking this over and over that I’m gunna hire a hitman on my brother what if I do like I’m a bad person how can I be normal with him this is probably my worst harm thought and it feels like I truly will do it I’m just “ holding back” :(

WHY is it so bad?? who was gonna tell me 16 was just DREAD, my ocd has flared up worse than ever and i can’t go to therapy weekly anymore. im getting worse and i can’t do it. I just want to give up.