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So does your period affect OCD in any way?

Does anyone ever experience their OCD themes shifting extremely quickly? This has been going on for the past few months. I keep flicking through health concern, contamination, psychosis and sexual orientation.

I am absolutely terrified of the dentist and any other type of doctor. I struggle with health themes and I often think my moles are cancerous, that I have mouth cancer, ovarian cancer, colon cancer etc. While I realize having all of these at once would be super rare, I’ve convinced myself that while I might not have all of those I probably have at least one but I don’t know which one. I worry about having cancer or some other terminal disease almost 24/7 it’s really impacting my life.. the issue is I can’t bring myself to go to any doctor’s appointments. I’ve been doing a little better by building a good relationship with my primary care physician & I’ve had every blood test available & all came back perfect. I got over my fear of the eye doctor and went and got a new prescription for the first time in 8 years & I went to an allergist for the first time. Since my biggest fears are ovarian, mouth and skin cancer I can’t seem to bring myself to go to the gynecologist, dermatologist or dentist. I know if I go I’ll feel better like I did with other appointments but I am SO convinced that I will be told I’m dying that I’m not ready to hear it and too scared to go. I fear I’m letting other health problems that I may have like gum disease get worse due to my fear of receiving bad news which only makes me more scared to go. Any advice or comments are appreciated!

Hello! I’m not sure what to do. I have health anxiety and feel like I’m dying when after eating junk food and because of my poor habits and being not motivated to go to the gym. I also have a fear that there’s no afterlife and that I have no purpose in life and that we suffer for nothing. I don’t know how to cope and I’m not sure if religion is toxic for me because I want to be honest and realistic with myself. I believe but think it’s because I was raised in a religious household. I keep looking for certainty. I feel like I don’t know what I’m going to do when my grandmas pass away. My anxiety got so much worse when my grandfather passed and I don’t think I can take it anymore and am so confused what life really means. Why there’s suffering. I don’t feel a sense of purpose in my life at all and am more confused than ever. I’m struggling to do exposure therapy for all of this and don’t know how to do exposure therapy properly. I also don’t know how to cope when I see my family suffer. For example, when I saw my uncle have my cousin arrested, for seeing my grandfather die. I feel like there’s nothing good in this world because it always leads to tragedy at the end. My family believes there’s a God, which I’d like to believe that, but am also feeling like he might not exist. It used to be my values but not anymore when I learned that it’s bad for my OCD. How should I handle trauma when I already can’t take it anymore. I feel like life has been very boring and I really struggle to work at my office. I can’t be present in the moment and I’m easily bored and want to do things that will change my life, that are more fun. I don’t know what yet and am really struggling. I just go to a boring job, wait until it turns 5, and go home and go the same thing. Walk the dog, I don’t even want to cook because it’s so boring and wastes time, and watch tv. I really don’t like my life and don’t know what to do. I previously had terrible managers in the past and got laid off for one of my jobs so this is I guess comfortable but still. I’m so bored and just going through life and am struggling to really enjoy anything. This has been going on for years. I also feel so immature and hanging out with my friends who are way more mature and extroverted than me is an exposure in itself. I compare myself to them a lot since they’re so confident but I feel like they act like I’m a toddler at times and that they feel they have to take care of me. I just am always in my head and they always give me advice, whether I ask it or not. I’m not excited about my life, very bored, but I also am not happy with who I am. I hate doing things too bc I feel like it just makes me even more depressed and bored. I feel like junk food and alcohol are the only things I look forward to

I have realized my fear is a bit different from people who just have emetophobia but not ocd, even when the phobia mimics obsessive compulsive symptoms. They fear the actual act of being ill, and all of the gross stuff that happens with it. They also have a fear of not being in control. I have found that I moreso fear contamination. While I would be okay with being sick from a spinny ride, what would cause me to not be able to overcome it would be the fear that it was because I was actually sick with norovirus. This is perhaps because my body would not mend itself immediately after being sick one time if I caught something. The idea of being infected with something foreign disturbs me deeply. I also feel as if everything will be ruined if I am sick, that the world will end. I get comfort from remembering that the things and people I love would still be there, that they wouldn’t be contaminated or gone, which is something I don’t see with just emetophobics.

Hi friends. I wanted to share a bit about my story in hopes that someone else may feel less alone or someone else can help me to feel less alone. I recently graduated college (a year ago) and moved to a city to pursue a graduate degree that is extremely accelerated. I moved away from my boyfriend, my family and most of my friends. I hate the city I live in. It’s terrifying, I’m alone 99% of the time and away from all of my support systems. Initially I was super stressed with the work load and constantly upset about my long distance relationship but now I feel numb to it. In the fall I had my first panic attack which then led to several months of extreme health anxiety. After working with a therapist this subsided and I felt at peace for a total of a week. Then ROCD fell into my lap and hit me like a truck. It was sudden, it happened so fast and scared me to death. It’s been going on for months now. I feel like I’m never present, I constantly question my love for my boyfriend. Is it real? Have I fallen out of love, do I find him attractive…etc. I also do mental compulsions. Checking, validating my feelings, looking at photos, googling OCD to make sure it’s an OCD thought and not actually my own, and seeking reassurance by telling other people. I tried to stop engaging in these compulsions but the lack of communication to my boyfriend increases my feelings of guilt which increases my beliefs that this is real and this is how I feel, despite the fact that I get so anxious over this thought. I feel like I’m at a stand still. Still in the long distance, trying to self manage, trying to avoid compulsions but hating my brain for bullying me with this conversation all day that makes me question my authenticity. I can’t determine my core fear…I am at a road block and looking for help.

TW. Basically I'm convinced that I have cancer and I've been convinced of this for a long time. I have this lump under my rib that's been there for a long time. I don't know how long but it's definitely been multiple years, since my early teens likely (I'm 17). I find that it doesn't tend to hurt, only occasionally and the times that it hurts seems to coincide with when I've been worrying about it? It's quite hard, but not as hard as bone, and it isn't visible, only noticeable through feeling it. I can't think of any symptoms aside from the lump, I feel like I breathe okay and stuff. I do also feel like the back of my head feels lumpy, which I have worried about too. I want to cry because at this point I feel like I've accepted something I don't even know because I'm convinced the chances of it being nothing bad are so low. The only way to know would be going to the doctor but I just can't. I can't describe the feeling of having convinced myself of something that could actually turn out to be true. It's crushing. And just now I feel like I could feel the same kind of hardness around the back of my rib. All that's going through my head is how I don't think I could cope with going to the doctor. Because at this point I'm convinced that because it's been there for so long, even if it's something that was once treatable, it might not be anymore. If it was a recent development I would go to the doctor, but I'm just so scared of the idea. The thought that "oh it's been there for ages and years" used to reassure me, but I'm not so sure anymore. I know this might be reassurance seeking, but I am genuinely worried about this. I've asked on Reddit twice now, the first time was ages and ages ago, and I've received no reply at all. I'm just so scared. I'm not sure I have anyone else to turn to. I don't think this really belongs here but I have nowhere or no one else. I'm terrified out of my mind and because of the prospect of this actually possibly being real and scary. I'm sorry.

What do you do when nothing feel right. Like for example I feel like everything triggers me, everything feels weird, sounds, actions, my room. I feel like i will go insane any second and I cant enjoy anything, I cant be happy about my upcoming new job or events. I have OCD about me having shizhophrenia and omg it has ruined my life, it has only been about 3 weeks, but it has got me complitely. I want my old self back and I am scared that my loved one will leave me bc i am not getting better. I really want a new theme as funny it sounds, because even 2 years ago harm OCD was't this hard. I feel like something in me is changing, but i dont want it 😭 I will start therapy in the end of August and I just started taking medication. But for now I cant imagine this stopping and I fear that it will go downhill from this, i cant see me doing better, because if i have a good day I rember how i felt yesterday or when I had a panic attack and I cant get enough of it, i always remember those feelings and I start to worry about it over and over again.

Hi! Okay so everyday I wake up and freak out that I am dying or going to die soon and then because I think that, I feel like I am manifesting it but I cannot stop getting intrusive thoughts about myself or someone I love dying. I also can’t get in my car and drive without thinking I hit someone and somehow just didn’t know? And then I will just wait anxiously and think police will show up at my door. And lastly, I live in the past and always think about all of my mistakes and I can’t forgive myself and keep thinking my past will come back to haunt me. Does anyone relate to anything I said? I think it would just help to know I am not alone.

I used grande lash serum for a couple days and found out of its dangerous effects. I went to the eye doctor and have been following everything he has told me to do. But yet it’s been 3 months and I still have dryness. Super dry eyelids. My OCD is focusing on it so much and feeling like it won’t ever go away. Does anyone have any experience in this? Thank you :/

I have health OCD, and my brain LOVES to interpret random things from my day as “signs” a certain thing will happen. Like, if I hear someone talk about vomiting more than usual, my brain says that’s a “sign” I’ll be sick. Or if I hear about a certain medical condition randomly or repeatedly in a day, that’s a “sign” it will happen to me. It’s taken a lot of effort for me to step back and tell myself basically: “I’m not an oracle. The universe is not sending me signs. My brain is just grasping into things I’m afraid of whenever I happen to hear about them.” My latest coping skill has been to exaggerate the intrusive thought sarcastically. Like, if I start to worry about having an aneurysm because I hear someone talking about it, for example, I might get the thought “That’s a sign your headache is actually an aneurysm,” and I’ll respond, “Oh, totally, my whole head is gonna explode, it’ll be crazy. I bet that twinge in my wrist means my whole hand is about to fall off too, right? Gotta look out for the foreshadowing.” Sometimes it’s so ridiculous that it helps me reframe the thought to be less threatening! Just thought I’d share.

my aunt gave me edibles to help with my anxiety from my intrusive thoughts. well i think i ended up greening out and i woke up this morning and my brain feels all fuzzy and i still feel like im going to die. has anyone with ocd ever been through this. im so scared right now.

Recently my OCD has been obscured by my MDD (major depressive disorder) I am only 14, it comes in episodes. I’m entering an episode, and i’m scared that, one day what if i don’t come out of the episode? not death, i have never considered that. I mean i have an eating disorder, bullimia, and i just am scared everything may just be starting to get worse. A lot of this is trauma induced after seeing my cousin attempt to slit her wrists, the blood and everything was very traumatic. I have never been the same.

Has anyone have been in a weird state like everything feels weird? I have OCD about schizoprenia and now i am not just dealing with that and fear of hallucinations, but i also feel weird. I am scared of everything, even people, but like i know that everything is fine, its just my mind makes up delusions that everything is dangerous and i am walking on a thin ice. Nothing feels right and its soooo weird and scary 😭 it also feels that any second i will lose my mind and i feel constant tingeling in my chest like im in stress about something

okay so i slept at like 3 am last night, so i obviously slept in lol. i woke up at like 1:40 to be exact but i also woke up multiple times in the morning just for no reason, i check the time and go back to sleep. i had to pee since like 6 am(the first time i woke up) but i didn’t because going to the bathroom and getting back in bed makes me feel dirty so i just went back to sleep. so fast forward to when i wake up at 1:40, i get up normally and as i’m walking to the bathroom i have to pee really bad like i can barely hold it. which is normal duh bc i’ve been laying down too long to know i had to pee really bad. i go to the bathroom and i sit down really fast so i felt a little pee get out before i sat (sorry if it’s tmi) but as i’m sitting i realize a wet spot on the lower part of my underwear and i start freaking out bc i know it’s pee but i’m asking myself what if i peed myself in my bed. so i felt my pants all over the inside and it wasn’t wet at all on my pants but i’m still scared. i showered and changed but now i’m asking myself what if i peed in my bed.. but what if i just peed a little on the way to the toilet bc i had to pee so bad i could barely hold it? does anyone else have this problem😞 i’m trying not to wash my bedding again bc i did like 3 times this week and i’m tired.

just wanted to share what happened to me yesterday. I had bad diarrhea but it kind of forced me to control/dial down my handwashing. So I got diarrhea at 12am and then had it around several more times after that, it didn’t stop til 11 am the next day(yesterday). Typically I wash my hands 3 times to feel clean after using the restroom and sometimes get stuck in the process of it when counting if it doesn’t feel right, so it’s time consuming and i’ve been trying to work on that, but I always give in. I thoroughly washed my hands only once after the second and third time I had diarrhea. I’m proud of myself and hopefully this permanently changes me to only washing my hands once bc a regular bathroom visit doesn’t need so much handwashing. though I still have steps and a process of how I wash them, but a step forward is a step forward. I felt like crap, hadn’t slept, and been sitting on the toilet and waiting it out so I think my brain wasn’t focused so much handwashing, plus I had other things to do so I wouldn’t have had time to do my lengthy handwashing process anyway. I was waiting to shower just in case I had to visit the loo again. I had to use my parents shower bc mine was occupied I feel uncomfortable in other showers I don’t like to touch other things in it, so i guess i was kind of stalling but I really wanted to shower. I showered like normal and my finger accidentally touched a sponge brush handle when turning off the water. if this had happened on a different day I would rewash my hands in the shower but my body wanted to lay down and rest asap so I didn’t give in and i just walked out and changed. I washed my hands later but for a different reason and it was short. While I still have contamination ocd about bathrooms and people not washing their hands after using it, lengthy handwashing was one of the bigger issues i wanted to tackle and so hopefully after what happened yesterday i can keep the time under control. Has this happened to anyone, where your ocd isn’t as bad and you hope it stays that way? To add, i am kind of worried about what caused my diarrhea though. so hopefully that doesn’t manifest into another part of my contamination ocd. i just have to be careful when handling food.

I watched a video about narcissism, it was about what is love and what is narcissism, and i just dont understand it. I have a view on what is narcissism like but maybe thats just the extreme side of it. But everytime i see a video like this it makes me spin that i might be one, cause i got told by someone after a fight online, and i been told by one psychotherapist that i have signs. I questioned it cause i felt really bad about it but as i heard actual narcissistic people do not care or they ignore it. What's wrong with wanting attention sometimes? Or that you want to be better than others? That's the point of competition, i understand it can be harmful but its normal that we sometimes want competition. And the exemples they bring up are things that you can put on anyone. Like you got hurt so much and you did not got enough attention so you now want it, so you are a narcissist. Its normal that if you have pain or you didnt got attention, you want it... saying its narcissism puts more shame on people. This was one problem for me too, i had ocd problems, noone understood it or made me understand it so i desperetely wanted someone to help me. Its normal, why we put shame on that. Its not good cause you make yourself feel worse if youre desperate, but you are not a bad person... And other things, when you get played by many people, and you feel like you dont get respect, and you put yourself first, and basically now what you need will be first for you and what those other people wants will be second, they call you narcissistic for that... you realize you didnt respected yourself enough and you had put so much energy on what others says, and now you just ignore them and when they say bad things about you and you just wont care cause you had enough, you are a narcissist... or I do something and i forget or i wont care about how i make others feel cause im fed up on always wanting to be okay to others and actually you cant be good for everyone, and then you do it and maybe it turns out bad, then you are a narcissit cause you dont care about how others feel... Ive got told by others back when i was asking for reassurance so much that im a narcissist cause i dont care how others feel...(cause i made them angry). Can we just not put that weight on it? It just really makes me bad that im being called a narcissist when im mentally dealing with something that i dont know the solution yet and i want attention and help cause im scared that something is wrong with me... every exemple i wrote down here can be told about everyone...for me narcissism its not that, and saying people have "sings" of narcissism, it just makes you feel like you are one. Okay it can happen that in certain sitiuations you act like one but gow people describe those situations are really basic, like it happens to everyone.

I’m extremely sad right now. I’m going through some life altering events and I’m really scared, heartbroken, and angry. I don’t use social media so I’m putting it here. I hope that’s ok. I can’t really talk to my usual people about all of it because they’re going through some of the same stuff and I don’t want to overwhelm them by piling on with the other stuff I’m experiencing too. My mom is 51 years old and she has stage 4 cervical cancer. It has progressed significantly over the past few months. I’m really really scared. I’m scared to face the reality of it and I’m scared for my dad if she doesn’t make it. He loves her more than anything in this world. She’s everything to him. She’s been the most supportive person in my life. I’m not ready to lose my momma. I’m losing my marriage. My high school sweetheart. Time, life stress, our traumas, selfishness, etc. have pulled us so far apart that I don’t think it can be repaired. My heart aches and I just wish I could love her and make her love me like we used to. When no one believed we would make it. But we knew we could do it anyway. I hurt so badly. I just want to feel hope again in my life. I want to go to sleep for a million years, and then wake up and have love and time and all my beautiful things again. I’m so sorry for everything.

Hello everyone, I am new here. I am glad that I can openly share my thoughts with people who will understand and not judge me. I am still not sure if I have OCD or just anxiety. I wasn't a tidy person before but I knew when I was still in school that I did want my schoolwork to be perfect and organized. When I was young I lost my grandpa who was very close to me. Then I started telling my parents "I love you" and "Please don't die" phrases which they find annoying as I say this to them maybe 5x or more per day. 😔 And now that I am married I always say this to my husband too. He got used to hearing it each day. I wanted to stop this. I tried. But I felt like my day was worse. I felt like if I was not saying those phrases, I had the feeling of ignoring them and that I was not concerned for them. I noticed that after giving birth and I talked with my nurse that I should wash my newborn son's bottle and stuff separately, my desire to make everything clean heightened up. I started to think that if I did not follow the advice my son's stuff would be contaminated by other things. That he might catch this and that. I even used a separate sponge and if I think it touches something I will rewash them. This is so time-consuming but it makes me feel that I am doing it right. Before the pandemic started, I already had a habit of washing my hands once I got home. I didn't care about the others if they did. But now, oh man, I want everyone to do the same in our house. My husband and my son are doing the same now. It became a routine in our home. Before when a visitor won't wash their hands, I do not care, but now it irritates me. I can't say it directly because I am afraid of hurting their feelings but I can't function properly. It will be in my head the whole time. And I will think that everything they touch is dirty. If I do not have access to the washroom, I will be using a hand sanitizer. I always carry one. When COVID was new, I thought it was just a normal flu, in Canada it is common in winter. I was not too concerned because I knew it would be cured. But since I watched a lot of news of people dying and unfortunately my dad was one of them, my cleanliness heightened. I do not want anyone to die. I felt like I did not give him enough advice to protect himself. I researched stuff on how to disinfect, and I learnt about making hypochlorous acid as a natural disinfectant without harmful chemicals. I wiped all our groceries. And the worst is once I go out I feel dirty and contaminated already. Everything, like literally everything that we buy, should be sprayed and wiped down. I even used the hypochlorous acid to spray myself before entering the house. Not only that but to my husband and my son too. At first, I do this to my visitors, but I know I am being judged. So I just close my eyes and let it pass. But the concern of bringing anything dirty into our home boils down in me. I can't be in the moment. I am overwhelmed. After every party, I will clean and spray everything to be disinfected. I will steam the floor so I know it's clean so that I do not have to wipe anything that falls on it. It is tiring but it makes me feel like I am living in my safe zone. I feel like I am protecting my family by giving them a clean home. When we travel, I will wipe down everything from the plane to our hotel room. I packed some of my spray and wipes. We will use slippers inside the room because I know a lot of people use their shoes inside the hotel rooms. Everything that falls on the floor is considered dirty. (Btw, I am Asian, and it is normal for us not to bring shoes inside the house) I always tie my hair up so it won't be dirty. I do not bring a bag so I won't quarantine it or wash it after I use it. We only wear our clothes once. I want to be normal. I tried to limit spraying myself and my family and all surfaces. I tried to not wipe the groceries and I do not know if this is just a coincidence but everyone in our family got sick. So I went back wiping everything again. I don't know what to do anymore. 😥 Has anyone experienced this or presently experiencing this?

I’ve had OCD since I can remember. I don’t know if there’s an argument about being born with OCD vs developing it. I can assure you, I was born with it. Some of my earliest memories are checking my mom’s tires after we had a flat, and worrying that I had ingested a harmful chemical. My first big manifestation was when my mom bought toilet bowl fresheners when I was about 5 that had the California cancer warning. I had a baby brother and I was obsessed with thinking he would eat them, get cancer, and die. I remember the anguish. I remember the not being able to sleep. It got so bad, and I was so worried, my mom threw them away and never got them again. I still shudder when I see that kind in the store. I also started, around the same time, checking if everyone was breathing. My mom, my dad, my brother, my grandma when I stayed with her. One night, I kept her awake all night because any time she went to sleep I was afraid she would stop breathing and die. On into my youth and adolescence, I began to experience panic attacks that came with episodes of derealization. I didn’t learn until later, in my 20s, that derealization was a form of OCD. My parents finally sought treatment for the panic attacks, but only from my pediatrician. I was put on medication at an early age. I don’t think therapy was even discussed. This was the late 90s and early 2000s. Most of the OCD themes in my adolescence were health or socially focused. I stopped always going to my mom for reassurance, and dealt with a lot of themes on my own. Things my family to this day still doesn’t know about. Nuclear war fears, HIV when I learned about it in school, fear I would curse while singing in church. All themes I dealt with on my own until they “ran out of steam”. The internet wasn’t what it is now. I didn’t even think of Googling what was going on. I thought it was something only I dealt with. A lot of times I was ashamed to tell my mom unless the anxiety got so bad and I had to. I felt like the things I “worried” about were embarrassing. I wasn’t told that (my mom was and still is so supportive) but I just compulsively felt it. In my early 20s, I had a panic attack that led to agoraphobia and being homebound, due to months of derealization. I quit college and my part time job. I was hopeless. This is where I first discovered Google and entertained the possibility of OCD. But because my family was low income at the time, and also treatment for OCD is nonexistent in my area, I visited my primary doctor for medication and rode it out at home. I coped by my wonderful now ex-boyfriend and my mom easing me back into life little by little. Slowly I was able to get a job again and even go back to school. Sadly, my troubles weren’t over. I had multiple episodes over various themes. Some getting me back into agoraphobic states for shorter periods. Some coming with derealization and some without. Most notably, relationship OCD with my boyfriend at the time and my mom (do I love them enough?), religious OCD (unforgivable sin due to deconstructing Baptist faith from childhood), somatic, and schizophrenia. I remember being in complete agony on a beach trip with my boyfriend because I couldn’t stop noticing my blinking. I faked it through the best I could, but I was a nervous wreck. This whole time, I still hadn’t been to therapy, because I was too afraid to tell anyone what I was experience due to how weird it was. Fast forward, the boyfriend leaves me. I have a breakdown the following fall, mostly derealization and some harm OCD for the first time, that I check myself into a crisis unit. I went to therapy for the first time there, and got set up with my local community mental health center. They were kind to me, but knew nothing about OCD. Wouldn’t even diagnose me. Meds were changed and I was diagnosed with anxiety. Another fast forward to 2018, I was dealing with another breakup and had a bad episode that resulted in me going to the ER. I was treated very poorly there. After that, I went back to the community mental health center (I had stopped as it wasn’t helping) and began taking medication seriously. The therapist still didn’t know anything about OCD, but I stayed consistent and tried to just talk to her about my issues. I also watched OCD content on YouTube at home and decided I’d self treat that part and go to therapy for support. Finally, in summer of 2019, I decided to private pay for therapy. I found a great therapist who was trauma focused. But, we connected and I trusted her. She really did help me a lot because I did have some trauma. This leads us to today. With 5 years of trauma therapy, and also a med combo that works for me (she referred me to a good psych NP), I am functional, haven’t had derealization longer than a normal panic attack (and that’s extremely rare) in 5 years. I learned coping skills and DBT which I do think have helped me in some aspects. I also did EMDR for my traumas. I genuinely don’t regret it. However, I’m outgrowing her. She does know I have OCD but isn’t well trained. She thinks it’s all due to trauma (I don’t have all that much) and I think I was born with it. I feel my trauma is resolved and I’m still not getting the relief I need. I have found myself at NOCD to connect with my next therapist and move away from my beloved trauma therapist. It’s just time. With my traumas resolved and in a place where I am functional, I see more nonjudgmentally how OCD is ingrained in my habits and everyday brain function, and is contributing to my baseline level of anxiety. It’s time to conquer the final boss. If you read this far, thank you, and I hope to be a help to you on your journey as well.