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Does anyone else get worsen symptoms when you’re tired?

So I have dealt with skin picking my entire life but over the past few months it has gotten so bad and I was wondering if anyone had like tips for how to curb the obsessive urge to scratch I have caused irreversible damage at this point and I really just need to curb the need to fulfill the urge.

Almost a year ago I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I have been in remission since August. But now I am afraid of everything health wise and convinced something is wrong with my heart. I went to a cardiologist and he had me wear a heart monitor for 2 weeks. I just took it off today and won’t get results for another week at least. I still have to do chemo once a month for another four months. But I’m obsessively checking my pulse, I’m constantly worried and I’m convinced that there’s something wrong with my heart and that I will die before anyone can help me. I’m terrified all the time. It’s debilitating. I’m seeing two therapists and I’m medicated and nothing seems to help. I feel crazy and that no one is taking me seriously because they think it’s all just health related anxiety. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to live my life and be happy that my cancer is in remission but I can’t because of this never ending fear. I’m hoping to find some help here, or at least find someone that can relate.

So after taking a break from this app for a little over a month I thought I'd make a decision to cut out bad habits that I feel I can't moderate or affect my dopamine. (gaming, TV etc). I did this cold turkey and it highlighted a compulsion that is never really considered, avoidance. I used to think the days were never long enough and how can I possibly do everything in a day. Now they're incredibly long and I find it hard to fill up the time. I joined a new gym and now go for runs. I've started reading which I find enjoyable but can only do it for so long until my brains screaming at me to do something else. I went over some work stuff and found out since the passing of my nan, my financial situation wasn't really kept on top of as ocd went full throttle. I lost thousands... Numerous panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Stressed me beyond belief. Then there was a light at the end of the tunnel and thought I can get myself out of this ocd hole... And my car starts playing up and causing me to lose thousands more. I took it in to get worked on and they handed it back "fixed". It almost killed me a few days later. If I wasn't experienced enough to deal with the issue I could've died. I took it back and did my best to stay calm and didn't raise my voice. I wanted reassurance but I know its bad for ocd, but I think in this case it's acceptable because it's just reassuring me that my car would be fixed properly and I'd be able to eat and pay the bills. Car issue is almost resolved but omfg the stress over the last month was unbelievable. I got better after therapy without a doubt and I know I can get better again but this all brought it back. Once I got rid of daily distractions and looked at improving my life I didn't realise how much ocd and these habits kept me from looking at the huge hole I buried myself in. I made a deal to give into some compulsions whilst I sort this out as I'm struggling to fight on all fronts at the moment. It's too much. Once my finances are sorted, ocd is going to be a priority to work on again. One thing I learned was you cope with stress, and manage the stressors. I feel as if thats not clarified enough anywhere. Oh and one more thing, I watched a video regarding to me being depressed naturally because of the suicidal thoughts and it was interesting. Basically asked if I was depressed or just have a terrible life. I'm both, but it's because I have a terrible life at the moment. But that will change. Just wish it changed faster 😅 And I think a woman at my gym class has a crush on me so that's one good thing. Can't all be negative

So every-time I get intrusive thoughts It triggers automatic anxiety and then I feel so anxious. How do you guys just “sit with the feelings” the thoughts bring when it feels so uncomfortable and like something bad is about to happen?

I can’t be helped, from making mistakes to what I’ve think I’ve done, I don’t even care what happens to me anymore I guess my brain and memories are the truth so I should be locked up for a while with rape as I think I done it intoxicated

I hate this OCD stuff. I have been out of work for over a year because OCD has taken over my life. I need to return to work in two weeks, and I don't think I'm going to be able to. I just started woth NOCD about 4 weeks ago, and I'm sure this will help me, but I'm just not there yet, and I'm stressing. And the more I feel stressed by this stuff, the more the little OCD stuff affects me too. My leg just bumped my computer keyboard, and now I want to change my pants. I intensely hate this. This sucks.

Hi, I’ve always had OCD, but it was very manageable. I’d obsess over something not being clean or in the right place, but I’d be able to redirect quickly and move on from the thought. After my Mom died in 2015 and I had my first child, I started to have intreusive thoughts. I’d replay her death over and over and wonder where her soul was or if she was okay. It kept me up all night and turned into insomnia. I was put back on Lexapro at a high dose and a sleep med and anti anxiety med were added. It seemed to help for a while until til I started to get adverse side effects from all the drugs. About 16 months ago, I started to wean off. The tapering process has been horrendous and I have had every symptom in the book , the worst being bulletproof insomnia and extreme irritability. I feel like I’m reverting back to the intrusive thoughts, but ten times worse. I keep thinking that I will never sleep again and that my life is ruined because of the long term use of meds. I’m not even off all the meds yet, but I keep playing the worst case scores over and over in my head. How do I get through this tapering process especially the obsessing about sleep and health?

I have SO-OCD and I’ve been doing really well and making progress but I’m tired of the repetitive thoughts some are truthful and some aren’t I have more that aren’t or a truth that is being twisted around. Anybody have any good ways to stop the repetitive thoughts?

Trying to remember a night out that I was intoxicated but remembering it backwards and visualising it all, it’s driving me crazy and don’t know my brain feels blocked and about to bust

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop ‘joy checking’? Like I feel the need to keep checking my emotional state, both in the moment and in the past, to make sure I am feeling happy and joyful. This is due to my fear of developing depression which will lead to suicide (or so my ocd tells me). It’s quite distressing. Any suggestions? Thanks so much!

I have the “i want to die thougt” everyday!!! Is this normal with suicidal ocd?? Anyone relate?

I’ve been doing a lot deep thinking and I finally learned that ocd comes with the possibilities it doesn’t mean that who you will be it simply means it’s out there and to be aware of it. I know I’m a confident straight woman and nothing will change me. Also always remember that everything is a choice you don’t have to be with someone or do something you don’t want to do. Always remember that!!

It’s a long post. 🙈 I’m embarrassed. Brand new diagnosis. I’m 40. My OCD subtype seems to be “Order and Symmetry.” 1st session I arrived feeling good. I finished all the homework early and was excited to begin. We didn’t get through the full assessment; I’m pretty sure I talked too much. I was too detailed and we had to finish at today’s appointment. I arrived at today’s appointment stressed and got more stressed as the appointment progressed. I only realized a day or two ago that there was more homework (which I don’t mind- in fact, I enjoy!), but then, after I made note of it, I forgot all about it until signing in today’s Zoom. We spent the whole appointment completing those forms together. I had terrible difficulty doing the forms with my therapist. I was/am so afraid of answering a question without a true enough rating or expression of my experience to give an accurate assessment of my condition. I don’t want to over score or underscore myself! I only experience my life, so I’m not always sure if something’s unusual- it’s just my normal. Even though 3 professionals have now mentioned I should look into treatment for OCD, I still feel like treatment professionals will think I’m not OCD enough to warrant the attention. On the outside, I’m fully functional. It’s only once you start to consider the whole picture- my social habits and motivations for organization and having knowledge of what’s in my brain- that an outsider might put the pieces together. Now that I’m cognizant of its presence in me, so many things make sense. But I second guess myself when talking about it to treatment professionals or completing rating forms. I almost feel like I need a whole bunch of talk therapy first for verification that- yes, this is a manifestion of OCD, or that was, or that was. Figure out what it is and what it looks like in me, before the real work on behavior modification can begin. Or more time for me to explain what OCD looks like in my head first- like following certain rules or processes to keep life ordered and calm, and then making certain accommodations and new rules when something can’t be avoided- and of course, the people in my life have no idea when a rule or formula has changed and are caught out in the dark! 🤣😩 Therapist told me not to be hard on myself, told me not to overthink it, but I felt like she was frustrated with some of my answer paralysis during the assessments- not knowing how to scale myself. And goodness, I’m not throwing shade. I’m just stressed about getting it right! And surprise! We didn’t get to all we were supposed to in today’s session!

I’m here because I’m looking for help. I’ve tried CBT but my therapist isn’t specialized in OCD and I don’t know what else to do. I’m terrified all the time, I wear a mask every day and wash my hands till they are raw. I don’t know what to do, I didn’t have anywhere near the levels of anxiety and depression before the pandemic that I have since the pandemic started, I am terrified of everything, I had Covid once but I am terrified that I’m a ticking time bomb because it does cause long lasting symptoms and can disable or kill you even after one infection and that’s what terrifies me. I’m forced to go into the office with people who don’t mask and don’t care about coughing up a lung and not covering it up. I can’t sleep without feeling like something is wrong with my heart or my body and I am constantly afraid of going out and being around people and crowds. I’m terrified of Covid and getting it again and losing my life and quality of life because of it. I’m also terrified of losing my wife because she doesn’t want a partner who just stays in the house all the time.

Does anyone else have those dreams where you wake up with an "o"? This morning I was having a dream of another adult touching me. And I woke up with an "o" But what's worrying me is that when I woke up I realized my sons foot was touching my hip and leg area. So I'm afraid somehow that caused the dream But not only that As I woke up with the "o" I knew his leg was there and instead of stopping it I let it continue but then I moved his leg away from me or tried to as it was finishing. I feel weird that I knew his leg was there to begin with. I can't help but think I did something wrong I just wish these types of dreams didn't exist where you wake up with the "o"

hi ok so. typing this im terrified. 2023 was a really hard year for me. there was this girl at my work who made my life hell. i was 21 she was 29 and she would make shit about me to tell my coworkers. I left that job feb 2023. the next couple months I was unemployed and going in and out of depressive mode and ocd constantly triggered and I could not break my routine. the stress of being broke was an everyday mental game. then I returned to work in October and got hit with shitty sicknesses left and right. I got a stomach bug x2 and covid from my girlfriends parents and got the flu in january and had an ovarian cyst rupture which led to a uti and then the medicine from the uti gave me a yeast infection… not fun. Then bc of the flu I sat and couldn’t shower and got a tailbone cyst bc of excess sitting…. it sucks because I would get sick and then get so panicked about being sick and make it worse and then start to feel better and make myself sick again or just get sick because of like unavoidable things like flu or covid. it caused me to be Hyperaware of my body and feelings and symptoms and it just caused so much stress. I’m trying to tell myself everything ok and I even tried to help it with therapy and I got a therapist (not on here) and tried to tell her about all of this and the health anxiety has just been hypersensitive lately and all she said was, “That’s a lot. Is it an underlying condition you’re unaware of?” why would u say that to me. what the fuck. and I told her I had health ocd/anxiety. I just felt so unheard and not listened to. I’ve been trying to regulate my nervous system to make everything get better but it’s hard when I’ll just be sitting and feel butterflies in my stomach. I just feel like people don’t understand. and I just want to feel less stress so I can stop getting symptoms which make me s*ck. thanks for listening

My ocd always makes me think the worst and tells me that the only explanation for things is that I did something horrible. I had an incident many years ago that has made my life miserable. I guess it’s a real event and possibly false memory as well. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me alot. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I put my daughter on the school bus and went back upstairs to my room and he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪. At the time I didn’t think too much of it though because toddlers randomly do weird things and take their clothes off and they yell back or blame you because they don’t like getting in trouble or getting yelled at so I shrugged it off but out of nowhere all these years later my ocd brought this back up. Since it’s been so long my memory has faded so my ocd adds more “evidence” and tells me things like maybe I was drinking and did something to him and just don’t remember. I try to think of all the scenarios that could have happened as to why he took his underwear off but my ocd won’t let anything make sense except that I did something horrible and I can’t live with that uncertainty like other people can. It makes me not want to be alive anymore 😞

I felt like I was doing ok (not great) in my OCD recovery, putting in the work and noticing some progress. But after this most recent set back I just feel so beat down and honestly feels so hard to keep doing recovery work. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I hate this, I hate mental health, I just want to be and feel normal. This past year that should be the best times of my life has been literally the absolute worst with no end in sight. I don’t understand how OCD has taken over my brain, not only in thoughts but heavy on the emotions/feelings side which is the worst.

I am new to this. The first two sessions I thought were kind of hard but I left them feeling excited for a future of growth and healing and breaking out of OCD’s grip. This last session was more intense and my compulsions ramped up after; I feel exhausted & I’ve tried sitting with my feelings and it does help them calm a bit but they won’t go away entirely and I’m edgy, exhausted and discouraged. I hate OCD.