Welcome to
the NOCD Community

What is the solution for ocd what if question?

I feel like I did something bad but when my brother smiles at me or wants to get near me I’m suspicious like what if he’s the one doing something to me I’m just like he feels comfortable with me so he feels safe around me but what if he’s the one doing something he looks at me and I’m just suspicious because why does he keep looking at me It’s the same when I keep looking at him it feels like I’m fixated to his face I just can’t with this it’s either me or him I feel like garbage

I want to get married and I’m scared I might end up being like those female pred because they’re always married!!! I’ve always wanted marriage Because I would feel like i would cheat on my husband because of the thoughts and unwanted urges and the intentional thought at the salon

I don't even know why this suddenly started upsetting me when I've been doing it for months, but it's triggering my OCD so badly now. I feel like crying. I do creative writing and it's my haven, my safe place, my favorite thing to do. I write fanfictions and write about things that are important to me and it's helped so much. For a few months, I've been using DeepSeek AI to help give me feedback. I show my work every 1000 words in and then it gives me bullet points that I'll show a screenshot for. After it gives it critiques, I go back and manually fix everything; edit sentences, add more pacing, remove stuff when I feel like it was going on too long, etc. It helped a lot with seeing mistakes I didn't notice before, but my writing wouldn't change that much with or without it since I just use it for help proofreading when I'm done with a large chunk and just need to edit. For whatever reason, I feel this horrendous guilt for using this tool-- like I'm cheating or not a real writer. It feels terrible because I write everything myself and it gives feedback like a friend or teacher, but I feel so terrible. I think it's because a lot of people on Tik Tok or social media would judge me, even though my online friends love my writing and think that I'm overthinking this a lot. I can't write without feeling guilty or like I need to confess the whole process so people know that I write everything myself and I'm not using it to write anything for me. I'm scared people will assume I'm lying. I never worried about this before I started seeing so much stuff on social media. I just want my favorite hobby back :( (note: the story was about a boyfriend comforting his trans boyfriend through his period)

this is how my google search history is looking like. do i know its bad? yes, can i stop it? no . i cant, it feels to real i dont have that “i know i love him” feeling that i used to have its like the thoughts and fears became true, i dont feel love im never happy i dont have moments of clarity, i have changed drastically, im not as living as i used to i never say i love you. I have too many thoughts. maybe this is not rocd. i always make my bf upset, i feel like i dont care, im scared that maybe im just scared if change and this is denial. i camt imagine a future together, i cant be happy. i used to be happy, i am thinking i never loved him, i cant remember how it felt to feel love for him. i dont understand what “chose love” means, when i dont k ow if i want to chose love. am i forcing myslef to feel? i cant stop please help me

I have OCD and C-PTSD and so sometimes having a different opinion makes me feel like I'm automatically wrong or like I'm a bad person for thinking differently. I feel like this is esepecially true with social media and Tik Tok when you see other people's opinions from a lot of different perspectives and people get labeled at a bad person by strangers who don't know them. I don't want to feel like a bad person for having a different opinion than friends and/or the internet. I mostly think the same as them in a lot of different ways, but one or two things I think differently (examples of my thoughts I see are different sometimes: I think people can change but that doesn't excuse their actions and they should get therapy; I don't think all AI is bad, it just needs better regulation and shouldn't be used to replace people, I think it can be a helpful tool; I think just because someone uploads something that's considered "weird" on a public site (like cosplay, or a fashion choice, or etc) doesn't make it okay to make a video about them and making fun of them or be mean (like the teen/child who did the "bad" red lobster cover)) How do I learn to be okay with having different opinions than other people?

Okay... so im taking the NREMT-B exam next week in about 5 days... Im genuinely nervous... I want to succeed so badly but because my POCD says my worst fears have already, or will, come true, that I dont deserve this and it makes me feel guilty... I'm a horrible person... ive unintentionally hurt people... ive done genuinely horrible POCD-related things as a 13-14 year old that make me feel genuine guilt as an adult... and it should... why do i deserve to help people, when all Ive ever done is hurt people....? (Also, for context, my biggest fear is doing anything inappropriate with minors in any way... and whether or not it has already happened... thats my biggest fear...)

I’m worried it’s not because why did that happened? I was fantasizing about this marvel villain in a sexual way and then when I heard my brother breathe I got turn on more so now I feel like a p

So I was talking to myself in the living room right and then I hear my brother‘s iPad that his friend talking and I was like what the hell is that and I was like oh that’s his friend and then I crotch down and I try to like put in the password so I can turn it off and it’s like I don’t know if my face made a smile because I was like oh this is the opportunity to talk to his friendyou know and I’m just like I looked at myself in the mirror and I’m just like predator because it’s like why would I feel good about that about having the opportunity to talk to a kid?

Ill edit the post in... What if you did something so extremely awful and horrible as a child but you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and v0mit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (happened 3 times) from when I was 14... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rpist at all… I was 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 23... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 14 at the time… now I’m 23… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they mlested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14 because someone told me what these real events were before on the same day it happened for the 1st time... (it happened 3 times) but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... im so so scared... These real events were so extremely horrible and awful and worse than people realize... i g4g and vOmit and lie awake at night even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and scared and anxious... I also did something at the age of 13 that was horrible... they asked me if i did it or not, but me being 13 and not knowing what i did was wrong and horrible, i denied it because i was scared... im so triggered...

I said something stupid today. Again. 😞 I’m impulsive. I speak without thinking, and then I spiral afterward, replaying every word. I want so badly to learn how to think before I speak — but I feel like I’m just not wired that way. Can people even do this? I asked my therapist. He says I overthink everything and worries that if I try to pre-edit my speech, I’ll stop talking altogether and lose confidence. He also said it’s okay to walk things back and apologize. And while that may be true, I don’t see it as a big deal if I end up more quiet — because if I can’t say something intelligent, I’d rather say nothing at all. To me, the issue isn’t overthinking — it’s not thinking clearly before I speak. Then I overthink afterward, because what I said came out clumsy, careless, or unclear. Or I confessed something I'd rather not, like that meetings lead me to spiral analyze every statement I make in a meeting. I want to sound smarter. I want to be articulate. I want to speak without feeling ashamed five minutes later. I want to exist in conversations — especially at work — without constantly having to walk things back. And when I do have to walk things back? I suck at that too. My workplace is incredibly combative and political. Everyone’s always debating something. I’m the only left-leaning person, and it’s exhausting. I feel like I need emotional armor just to open my mouth. Toastmasters? Assertiveness training? Something? If anyone has even a glimmer of a solution, please share. I will cry tears of joy. Right now, I’m stuck in a loop about something I said at work. It wasn’t terrible, but it came out wrong — and I can’t stop replaying it. I keep wondering how it was received, whether it’ll be repeated, what people think of me now. Even though I know it wasn’t a big deal, it feels huge. I lose weekends to such stress. This always happens when I let my guard down. I say something off the cuff — because I’m anxious, or trying to connect cause Im anxious, confide in a colleague. Then I remember that I dont trust my colleagues cause they differ extensively from me. So I confess that I felt sexually harassed by someone & then when my colleague responds in a sexist way. I sit there in regret. Then I spiral: Why did I say that? Why didn’t I just stay quiet? What if someone tells someone else? What if I ruined my reputation? My workplace doesn’t feel emotionally safe — it’s full of ideological tension, judgment, and values that clash with mine. I’m constantly second-guessing myself. I don’t feel like I have the right tools to cope when I say something awkward or too honest. So yeah, even though ny therapist encourages me not to monitor myself too closely, but when things like this happen, it feels like I should’ve rehearsed everything beforehand so I don't internally scream.

Life has been so tough for me lately. I’ve been stuck in an OCD spiral since last December. Most of my fears come from incidentally causing harm to my family or others. I feel like every action is a moral conflict, or that any time I make a bad decision, act out of frustration, or self indulge in anything, I’m debating about whether I’m an awful person who doesn’t care about my kids, my wife, or other people. I’m a stay at home parent currently, and all three of my kids are neurodivergent, with my youngest being on the spectrum. My youngest is nonverbal, so my OCD loves to manipulate that, making it hard to know if my son is happy, sad, upset, etc. Always feeling like I’m worried I’ll make too many mistakes as a parent. That any time I lose my cool, it means I’m just this awful person and parent. I’m burnt out from the stress currently, so I always feel on edge, which makes it harder to have the mental power to resist compulsions. I am in OCD therapy, which has helped. But every time I feel like I’m taking steps in the right direction I get sucked back in. Every time I resist compulsions, I’m triggered almost immediately after. Because I’m a stay at home parent, and a lot of my triggers and themes involve harm to others, particularly my family, it’s just trigger after trigger after trigger. My wife is exhausted from my mental health, which just adds to the guilt I already feel. I hate that my mental health is affecting everyone, and it only reinforces the idea that I’m causing harm or suffering to those around me. I just need a break. I cannot keep living my life this way. This is the worst my OCD has been, and I feel so traumatized from all the days and hours I’ve spent feeling like I’m at my limit. Thanks for reading. Feel free to respond if you can relate. Just needed to vent.

Soooo I’m over here just trying to make it to my next NOCD appt before breaking things off with a guy I’m getting to know 😞 it’s hard for me to tell if I’m having genuine concerns about compatibility, or if I’m spiraling into OCD. How the heck do I date someone and not consider compatibility? But I find myself going into fight or flight mode, or feeling like I need to make a decision immediately after a date, or ruminating about it all throughout the day, trying to figure out if the concerns are valid enough, if I’m settling, if I’m about to give up on something that could be beautiful…. Whenever I write out all my concerns, they don’t really seem like that big of a deal, or seem like things we could talk through. The biggest concern for me is whether we are compatible in the sense that talking comes easy or we feel comfortable around each other. But we’ve only been on 3 dates so it’s hard to tell. Things are still awkward sometimes. I am also autistic and this complicated things with how I socialize. So I told myself “just get to your NOCD appt in a few days and don’t make a decision til then. You can talk about it with them then.” It’s only my second appt tho, so I’m not even sure what they discuss at appt#2 and if we’ll have time to talk about it. I guess I’m just getting this off my chest right now and I appreciate this community where I can be honest 😔💛 (Added TW because I’m not sure if it would be for others)

What if the reason I had that inappropriate dream with a man is because my 9 year old brother did something to me in real life while I was asleep and I just don’t remember?

UPDATE: ive reduced my posts to once per day in hopes of trying to overcome this... but right now... i genuinely feel so horrible and anxious that i need to post... (For context, in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent a n00d to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly explicitly chatted wjth a minor... i know that this is all my fault, but still...) Its making me feel like I cant remember things properly... making me think i unknowingly explicitly chatted with a minor online or being catfished by a man or kid... making me question every woman Ive ever been flirted with or explicitly chatted with... intrusive thoughts of me "explicitly cybering with a minor or a man" and of me going to jail because my worst fear of "unknowingly cybering with a minor(s), or being catfished by one" coming true... im genuinely depressed... and I feel so alone... uncertainty has brought me nothing but hell... and theres no getting out... it feels like im waiting every day for my intrusive thoughts and fears to be proven right, and ending up with me going to jail... I have never felt more alone... I just keep getting intrusive thoughts that one day, when I become famous or get my dream job, im going to get a future moment of any girl I explicitly cybered with in the past, saying... "Hey, I was a minor when we cybered and while you didnt know, im going to get you arrested or cancelled." Or that im gonna get catfished by a dude pretending to be a woman online... Im genuinely scared of the future... and this is honestly why I dont want to be famous or an influencer... Because not only do i fear someone will "expose" me for my POCD and my Real Events OCD, but im also scared about this entire situation...

I’ve been gone for about a month, mostly because I kept seeing messages on here that felt super anxiety-inducing and not understanding of OCD at all. Honestly, it got to the point where I started getting nervous to even open the app. Lately, I’ve been stuck in this OCD loop that I think might be moral scrupulosity or something like that. I’ve been dealing with this thing where I feel like I have to “challenge” stuff mentally or verbally, like if I don’t say something out loud, it feels super uncomfortable. And the thoughts are about heavy stuff, like assault or deportation or just really morally loaded topics. My brain starts picking everything apart. It’s like I have to look at things fairly, and then I get trapped in all these little technicalities. For example, if someone gets assaulted, my brain fixates on stuff like “what was she wearing”even though I know how harmful that line of thinking is. That is exactly the kind of thing my mind zooms in on. It happens with a bunch of topics too, not just that. I feel like I have to give the benefit of the doubt to the aggressor or see “both sides,” and then I end up doubting the victim. And the worst part is, it feels like I truly believe these devil’s advocate thoughts. It feels so real. It’s like I become convinced that the victim might be lying or that there’s some justification for the harm, and I don’t like it. This even happens with my boyfriend and especially his family. I’ll catch my brain flipping narratives or making me question people I trust. this has been a “habit”for as long as I can remember but now it’s happening so much more. I cannot stop doubting. It feels like I’m siding with people who I should have no doubts to be against. I don’t know what to do or what kind of ERP would work for this. I don’t know how to change this. It’s been apart of me so long, it simply feels like me.

I was playing with my brother and I thought he was so cute because he’s little and at the same time it felt like I wanted to touch him inappropriately It’s weird because sometimes I get disgusted by the thought and then sometimes I feel like I would actually that

I hope everyone is doing well! I included this cute little image below, but I'm also in need of advice! I'm wondering if anyone has any videos of tips on how to focus on building confidence in yourself? I'm beginning to realize that I base a lot of my self-worth on other people's opinions... just in general. This is an example, but I'll hear about celebrity drama online and, at first, not really care. But eventually, I'll cave if people keep talking about it or it comes across my feed, and I'll just scroll through video after video—comment after comment—trying to make sure that my opinion will be the "correct" one. Does that make sense? This is so stupid 😭 but it really affects me. I try to stay off social media as much as possible, save for YouTube, but I feel like this is something I legitimately need to work on. I'm still young, but I don't want to spend my 20s letting shit like this affect me. I want to be confident in WHO I am, which is hard with OCD stirring up doubt, but I think it'd be good for me! So, if anyone has any recommendations or advice, please let me know! Thank you! 🤍

This might not even be OCD related, but I have a difficult time standing up for myself or just communicating boundaries with others. I'm trying to improve, but it's not easy. I always feel guilty after saying anything, like maybe I'm being dramatic, or maybe I'm in the wrong for not ignoring their words/actions and moving on. Even if the person doesn't respond with a negative reaction, I start spiraling :(

I uninstalled this app for a while bc i was posting very much, but my compulsions continued. I went to a festival with my boyfriend and my friends, i waited one year for this moment and , it was like hell bc of my thoughts. It made me act so bad, i had so many mood swings, i was crying randomly bc i was thinking i am not in love anymore. even in the last day of the festival, in the middle of frikng Ken Carsons show, i had thoughts about me not loving my boyfriend, that the annoys me and it just felt so real. It felt and it feels straight up like it is real this time and i dont know what to do. Maybe this is not ocd and i just found an excuse all this time. Im avoiding intimacy, im not saying i love you, i feel repulsed by him for no reason, all off this is like proof to me but it feels so bad. So so bad. I ruined the moment i was waiting for so much, and not only for me, but for him, someone here told me i feel out of love. Im scared that this is not ocd. that im just a good person who does not accept the truth, and that dosent want to hurt him. I feel like i have changed and have no feelings. He tells me that im not supposed to feel love everytime but why dont i feel it al all. im scared and tierd. Im scared that i do t have ocd. i have been lime this for so long, (2 years) that i started to think i never loved him and i just want the ideea of me to love him, and maybe im crying rn not because i want to love him but because im tierd of feeling like this. please someone help me. i dont know what is happening. i cant even kiss him or be intimate and im thinking “LOOK IS PROOF I DONT LOVE HIM” . PLUS im so rude to him and im acting badly and when he tells me he dosent feel loved i feel so numb. like i do t care???? is this real??? it feels real this time??? maybe this is not rocd, i cant enjoy anything and it somehow makes sense that i only want the ideea of liking him please i told my mom i dont feel live and she told me “Why are you struggling? Are you staying with him out of pity or out of compromise? Have you been like this for 2 years? How long will you last?” im hurting myslef and him