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I keep having horrible nightmares of me doing terrible things to people. Like being a sexual deviant or something and it scares me and makes me feel bad about myself. Is this normal?

Yesterday I had an ending session with a therapist I had been seeing for almost 2 years. This is because she doesn’t specialise in OCD and actually when I spoke to her about my diagnosis it was quite triggering for me as she didn’t think I had OCD (she thinks it’s only excessive cleanliness etc). She’s a humanistic therapist and I have worked with her through so much that i’ve formed a really strong attachment. I’m so nervous to start doing ERP/ CBT work and i’m really frightened that it won’t work for me. My old therapist has said i can always come back whenever, but I feel alone and scared and like my safety blanket has completely gone. I realise this is probably because she provided me with so much reassurance. Does anyone have any advice or can give me any words of wisdom if they’ve gone through similar things? I can’t stop crying and feel very depressed.

Hey everyone! Here is my story and I would love to see if anyone relates or if the same thing may have happened to them. Back in August of 2022, I tested positive for COVID for the third time (yippie🙃). I have to say that this was my worst bout of COVID yet and I had massive brain-fog, migraines(previous diagnosed w/ chronic migraines), all the fun stuff. A week after I got over this round of COVID, I tested positive for strep and found out I had a sinus infection that had been untreated for about a month. Needless to say, my immune system was shot. After all of this occurred, I started having severe panic attacks constantly.. every morning I woke up and was already panicking, I would feel like I wasn’t in my own body, my brain was a foggy mess, and I absolutely hated the life I was living. This went on for three months before I finally decided to see my health care provider about it. In November of that same year, I started taking Sertraline and have been moving up in my dose ever since. In June of this past year, I started having extremely distressing thoughts about my boyfriend, who I have been with since January of 2022. These thoughts were ones that I was able to push away at first, but as time went on they became more and more anxiety provoking. Thoughts such as, “do I love him enough?”, “do I even love him and if I do, why don’t I feel it?”, “you should break up with him”, “are you attracted to him?”. Deep down, I know I love him VERY much, he is my best friend and I feel so safe with him, and he is the first healthy relationship I have had in my life. It’s comfortable and he feels like home. These thoughts come and go for WEEKS on end, and then the anxiety calms down and the thoughts get quiet for awhile.. and then they come back full force and cripple me with anxiety and sadness all over. I’m currently having a flair up on these feelings (I have not been diagnosed, but I find myself relating to a lot of what other people have felt or are feeling + have talked to my doctor and they believe I could benefit from therapy with these symptoms). I find that when I am extremely stressed or anxious, these thoughts appear. The first time I had ever had these thoughts or feelings was in my 20s and it is something I have never experienced before my immune system gave up on me for awhile. Long story short, I wanted to see if anyone else may be dealing with this or if long-term COVID has messed with others’ psyche. Thanks for reading!!

For the last 13 years I've been told I have a severe panic disorder, along with every other anxiety disorder in the book, and while I definitely do, No meds have ever helped & after seeing many therapists/psychiatrists, etc, I'm finally seeing one that, withing minutes, asked me if anyone has every tried to treat my OCD first, instead of the panic & anxiety...... Up until that point, I was unaware I had OCD. After more sessions with the Dr, & my own at home research, I could cry. Every weird "quirk" I have, they way I think, what I was always told was hypochondria......it's all OCD. I'm baffled. Anyway, my doctor wants me to try a medication called Luvox (Fluvoxamine). From what I'm reading, it's a pretty common med for OCD. I'm also, however, reading that it can interact with just about everything. I'm not a huge fan of taking daily medications. But, if it could potentially make me feel better, I'll absolutely give it a shot. So my question is, if you've taken this, has it helped? Is there anything I should be aware of? Good things? Bad things? I've googled, but I'd rather hear feedback from actual people who've taken it. Sorry I'm ranting and this is so long, this is a new journey for me, and I'm a little nervous!

I feel like i should tell my partner everything about me so i don’t feel like a liar or a bad person even little thing for a long time ago and sometimes it ends up in fights because it’s hard to understand and explain, i just get the feeling that im not telling them something and it makes me feel like a bad partner. Even little things like i forget to tell them a part of the story and my thoughts make me thing im keeping something from them. It makes me feel like I have to many problems and I am undeserving of their love.

I ruminate or spiral about my current job and career. Should I stay in my job? Should I leave? Do I even deserve this job? Is this job helping me grow? I constantly think about past job failings or times I felt I was treated unfairly or not respected. I always constantly question if I want to stay in this career at all. What I should study next? Will it even be worth it? Etc... Does this sound like OCD? I end up studying something new but then spiraling and rumination prevent me from putting all my eggs in one basket to follow through. The entire time I was in college...I cried everyday and questioned my career. Before I entered college I spent over 2 years obsessing over what career to choose. What is this???

I feel like I am doomed and I am so afraid of the next bad thing coming to me. I feel like I’ve been through so much trauma in life already and I don’t want more of it but I know that it will still come. That is life. I feel so overwhelmed right now. I want a break. I tried all weekend to make myself feel safe but today has sucked mentally. Now I have to jump back into the workweek tomorrow and put a smile on my face and pretend like I am “normal” when inside I am crying like a baby and scared of what bad stuff is going to come to me next.

I have intrusive thoughts everyday I feel like there making me crazy does any one have any tips on handling them .

what is your experience? Weed helped me realize i also had an OCD diagnosis along with my AuDHD. Weed was an enhancement drug for me and I notice that it increased my intrusive thoughts BUT only when i was already in a state of anxiety while sober. If i was happy then obsessive thoughts of joy and ruminative yet this only when i smoke the strain sativa. When i smoke indica my thoughts slowed down more, but so did everything else. For me indica affected my body more. But in moments where my mind couldn’t even move to get up or used the restroom. Only in bliss would i be able to fall asleep. I want to journey on Weed with this App so if you’d like to join ! Feel free :D I can also go on to make another post how it affect my autism and my adhd.

I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with OCD that revolves around food? For instance I’ve had an eating disorder from OCD for about 2 years now. I’m scared to eat food I’ve always eaten due to the fear of an allergic reaction. I also have a fear of my food being poisoned or laced with drugs. It makes it very hard for me to eat at times because I’ll have the symptoms of anxiety where my throat feels tight as if I can’t swallow or I’ll feel really panicked after I eat a fear food. Logically I know I’m not allergic to many of the foods I’ve ditched. It’s like my OCD clings to the fact others have allergies to things like peanuts & other foods. I used to be able to eat foods just fine and I love food! I just have so much fear of not having control once I’ve consumed something and that what if thought pops in. I believe all this stemmed from me trying an edible and it being one of the worst experiences ever. Felt like I was spiraling and not in control of anything. I even deal with extreme derealization/depersonalization and it feels so similar to the bad high. & I just get scared someone will lace my food just for the fun of it. So now when I eat I get scared even though logically I know my food is just food and I need it!! I’m doing much better than before, I eat even when I feel anxious too. I had stopped eating and drinking water due to my ocd tricking me (didn’t know I had ocd at the time, I thought my negative impulse fear based thoughts were intuition but they weren’t) and ended up in the hospital. I still have many fear foods that are actually very healthy that I need to start eating again. I am suffering from low iron due to not eating correctly from this fear. I’m on a iron supplement though and I’m eating better than I was. I’m just wondering if anyone else has or is dealing with similar?

Do any other trans people with OCD get intrusive thoughts about faking being trans or misgendering them? On a pretty much daily basis I go through this cycle of either accidentally misgendering myself or getting the thought of “you’ve been lying for the past 10 years and you’re actually not trans” and it always sends me into a spiral. My dysphoria tends to fluctuate and it gets worse when my dysphoria is lower than normal. Logically I know fluctuation is a thing that most trans people experience at some point but I still ruminate over it. Any other trans folks here experience something similar? If so, do you have tips to break that pattern of thought?

My relationship OCD has been bad lately I actually feel like it’s starting to cause problems in my relationship. I constantly think something bad is going to happen with the relationship or him. Like when he’s driving I’m terrified we’re going to get in a crash and him die and me have to be without him. I worry all the time he’s going to leave me. It’s an obsession. I find myself trying to be PERFECT and that’s just not possible. I feel like he’s constantly mad at me when he’s not. We have a good relationship. We have our moments but everyone does. I don’t have issues with him cheating but I always am TERRIFIED about it. I’m scared of him dying, or leaving me. Is this something common with OCD or is this something else?

Today I feel Stressed, un-worthy, ignored , and forgotten. What’s worse when your feelings are invalidated.

i don’t want to be gay as i’ve always imagined life with a husband and have been attracted to guys since elementary. i don’t think i had any ocd tendencies before this. i just woke up one day and was like what if im not straight. i just want to know for sure if i am. does this sound like ocd

i hate starting with a new therapist. i obsess over my trauma and then when it’s time to go to therapy it’s almost unbearable to talk about. last therapy session was on friday and was my first ever appt with this therapist, found her through my job’s employee assistance program. i was telling her how i feel like a bad person and sometimes have suicidal thoughts. she was not warm or reassuring. she asked me how i would do the deed and i explained to her and she did not say much at all. i left the session feeling worse. i have another appt at 3 today and the roads are icy and i’m just dreading it. and if i cancel i will feel like an irresponsible piece of shit. i already told her so much so i feel like i need to keep going. but im depressed and it is so hard for me to think about leaving my house. what do i do?

Has anyone just not had the anxiety stop, now If I don’t feel the chest tightness I think about it and it just comes flooding back in… anyone have any good tips to bring the anxiety down ?

For as long as i can remember i have always been boy crazy. I have always had crushes on men, had sexual interactions with them, etc. I’ve never thought about a woman in that way. I remember around 2021 I had a “what if I were gay?” thought but after around a week it went away. Now the thought is back but 100x worse. Mid December 2023 i suddenly got the thoughts again. I can’t really pinpoint what triggered it, but it may have been the TV show I was watching. In the show a woman around her 30’s dated men and even married one but then all the sudden ended up marrying a woman later on. I starting to think “what if that happens to me?” I couldn’t fall asleep for days and would cry throughout the day. I eventually told my mom about this as I kept having anxiety attacks and she said well if you don’t only like men then that’s ok. But the thing is that I want to like men. I’ve always imagined my life with a husband and kids. I don’t understand how something like this could happen basically overnight. I used started therapy for my anxiety but how do I bring this topic up? Does anyone who has soocd/hocd think this sounds like ocd or could I really just be in denial. My days now consist of these persistent thoughts. I’m always on here or reddit/quora looking up my symptoms to see if anyone else feels the same. i don’t wanna feel like this anymore. i wanna go back to november when i didn’t have these thoughts. I’m still having the thoughts about a month later but the anxiety isn’t as bad which is making me feel worse. i feel like i should be more anxious considering i want to be straight. this isn’t me.

Hey, so my therapist missed our session yesterday and isn't answering any of my messages, could she be in holidays and forgot to tell me, or do you think I should contact someone in case something happened?

Can anyone share any success stories from doing ERP therapy and anything else that may have helped you? I understand now that I've probably had OCD most of my life, but getting started and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel are two completely different things. I really want to recover from this. Mine stems mostly from real events, but I have other themes as well.

Hello , I’m diagnosed with OCD as well as ADD and anxiety and short term memory issues . It’s so much sometimes, I don’t even like going out in public because being around people gives me me anxiety, if I see something out of place wherever I go I have to fix it because it will bother me . I never pick the first thing g from the shelves at the grocery store I will literally reach for the third one from the back . Sometimes I feel crazy and no one understands me . Just want to feel like everyone else .