Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Is it actually possible to get to the point of no longer having a certain intrusive thought or subtype of OCD? Or is it ONLY possible to learn how to deal with it? Thanks

Does anyone else make a list of things that they have been told during arguments, or offhandedly, that upset them or just pops up during rumination? The lists also usually include, for me anyway, things like "don't do x, don't do y, make sure not to say z, you always (something someone said)" and I look at them any time I have confrontation with the person or experience a stressor that includes the person. Sometimes just when I am obsessing about a conversation that I had, or might have. I just can't help it, I want to make sure I don't mess up. I want to do everything I can to not be what my brain decides is Bad.

What are your experiences with meds? Would you recommend them? Are some of the OCD meds meds that are usually prescribed for depressed patients too? If so, do they have any side effects or negative effects overall? Like make you tired or make you stop feeling things like I've heard some people say Would you say meds need to be taken only if the situation is very bad and super out of control?

Hi all, I’ve just very recently gotten diagnosed. A month ago, I barely even knew what ocd was, and I’d thought my whole life that I was just strange. It’s now starting to feel like the more I learn about this disorder the more it seems like every single aspect of me is ocd; I’ve even been doing mental compulsions as early as 7 years old and I don’t know or remember what it’s like to be “normal”. Does anyone else struggle with this? Not being able to identify a “self” outside of the disorder?

Me and my online boyfriend have been broken up for a week because our mental health wasn't going great and we need to focus on our health first. After countless of stress and overthinking of many doubts and waiting for him, I am having many many many unwanted thoughts of a past ex and I have many worries all at once. self harming (hitting my head) is usually what I do to punish or correct my mind for even thinking such thing like ex from 9th grade. But I feel like after hitting my head so much, it made it more worse? TikTok and other social stuff is not helping me rn after seeing "soul ties" of ex's, relationships or mercury retrograde and it worsens. It makes me anxiety more worse. I don't know what to do and I'm more terrified than ever. All I wanted to do is wait for my online bf and believe in the good possibilities and hopes between us especially hope that we would reconcile when we are ready. As you know I really love this online boy and would never cheat or hurt him. Idc if we are apart I will wait for him and still be there for him yk. But my thoughts are so messed up and it's bringing like a feeling or werid emotion :( like a rushy feeling of unwanted excitement I suppose. I'm literally stuck. I'm stuck with these thoughts and I don't know what to do.

Tomorrow is my birthday. My best friend and I are going to be front row for my 2nd favorite band of all time. I've been planning and hyping this up since October. I'm very excited, as I never do anything for my birthday besides having off of work. I've never gone out for my birthday before in adulthood because of covid and also lack of friends. This will be the first time. My best friend (who has their own best friend) and I have been extremely close for 6 years now, and have gone to a lot of concerts together. They started a new anxiety med last week and it is making them have an extremely bad episode of depression and anxiety right now, and they told me they don't know if they should go to the show tomorrow. They said they feel they can't drive in their current condition. I said I am willing to pick them up (even though I would rather not because they live an hour away), but I'm gonna be honest... I don't want them to come along. I don't want to go alone, either. I don't have anyone else at all who I can go with, and I can't tell my friend that I'd rather them not come if they're going to radiate horrible energy the entire night. I've been so excited for this for five months, and I've been doing fairly well lately overall- working a lot on art, feeling like me, and trying to recognize my bad thoughts better-- but now I'm just super worried. I feel like a terrible friend, like I'm being extremely selfish and hypocritical. I'm worried I'll make them feel worse. When I have an episode, I wouldn't want anyone to turn me away simply because of that fact. I always want as much support and comfort as humanly possible and am terrified of people being upset with me. When I'm feeling happy and fine, however, I don't want other people coming to me with their struggles. I don't know how to handle my own, let alone someone else's. This tends to come off as me being mean and insensitive. I deal with enough, and though I always try and help others, most of the time I just really don't want to. I'd rather not be reminded of what I struggle with myself. I'm afraid it'll rub off on me somehow because I don't like being reminded of my worst. I'm such a f^cking hypocrite and I don't know how to not be this way. My thoughts keep racing, telling me tomorrow's going to suck now, telling me how lonely I am because I only have one friend, telling me that this situation is going to trigger an episode of my own as well, that it's now suddenly so uncertain. I did give this friend an 'out'- telling them that if they are too afraid to tell me no, that I am giving them permission to bail with no hard feelings out of their best interest. This made me feel both so selfish and so selfless at the same time, because on one hand, I don't want to be around that bad potentially triggering energy, and on the other hand, I was giving up the only person I wanted or COULD to go to this concert with. I said that their decision won't ruin my birthday regardless, and that I can't be the one to tell them what to do. They said they ARE afraid of ruining my birthday but still want to go. We're talking right now and I admitted that I'm afraid of making them feel worse. I've never seen this person like this either, and it makes me scared of seeing them like this, and scared of how I'm going to handle this. I took a sedative as a precaution, because I felt this feeling would fester into something worse, and it cleared my mind up just the right amount for me to realize "hey, it's not my responsibility to make them feel better. It's my responsibility to enjoy my birthday!" Regardless, I AM going to this show and I AM going to have a good time. I just feel like I'm being a horrible, insensitive, selfish friend. This is the closest friend I've ever had and though others are telling me I have every right to be upset, I still feel like a piece of sh^t. I just hope I can get hyped up without going over the edge tomorrow. When I get too excited, I have a panic attack.

Does being on my period or having upcoming menstrual symptoms worsen my OCD symptoms? Is it because of the added pain, or the added chemicals in my body? Anyone else experience this?

I have a big fear of dying and death. Is there anyone out there that isn’t afraid of this? If so, can you please give me your perspective on it?

Does anyone else feel like they are getting worse? I started here a couple months ago doing ERP, but I feel like my OCD is getting way worse and am hardly able to function properly most days without panic or anxiety attacks …. I try response therapy, but it hasn’t worked for me. I’m not sure what to do going forward. Any suggestions?

I’m not 100% sure that I have OCD, but I do have PTSD and some new intrusive thoughts were triggered a couple weeks ago. It feels like they have changed my whole perception of my life since then. Every experience that should be fun or relaxing is tainted with the horrible dread I feel when these thoughts creep in. I was really enjoying my life for a while before these new thoughts started and it feels like I have lost contact with that version of myself and my life. I’m afraid of these thoughts tainting things that I want to stay good and pure. I’m just feeling really lost about how to soothe myself and dig out of this

Had a new type of OCD though today which startled me and out of nowhere. “You can’t handle it.” You will eventually lose control no matter what you try and do.” Anyone else have this? And tips on how to fight back so it isn’t as strong next time?

I’m in the process of being evaluated by a psychiatrist for ADHD, but I feel like my distress has gotten worse. I don’t feel like my memory recall has kept up with work and school, friends, and family and in the beginning I thought it was due to being an inattentive adhd person. But more recently It been having thoughts of hurting myself and others as well as suicide. Even though I don’t want to die, I just want this to change. I feel helpless and so so tired. I’m constantly worried about being wrong in some fundamental way and I’m worried my friends and family will reject me even though we have good relationships to each other.

Hello. Did any medications help with sensorimotor OCD? I started Zoloft a week ago. Thanks!

Does anyone ever get scared that they are going to be stuck like this forever. Or that eventually you wont be able to fight against the thoughts and it just sends you into a spiral. Also sometimes it feels like an urge to act on these thoughts and its really scary and i dont know how to deal with this and im just really scared and i just wanna get better. Any tips?

Went through absolute hell last week sticking with ERP and not seeking assurance on a massive obsession of mine. Since those three days, my thoughts have been really clear of that issue. And now here it is again. I hate the cycle. It makes it hard not to anticipate that things will randomly get worse on a good day.

I have been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for a little over a year now, and for the first six months I loved the way she looked and never questioned my attraction for her. She is currently over seas studying abroad and the distance has really flared up my ROCD. I catch myself noticing EVERY FLAW about her appearance and comparing them to others strengths. I still find myself attracted to her especially when I see a pretty picture of her, but the not so flattering photos of her seriously make me contemplate breaking up with her to find someone more “attractive”. It seriously tears me apart as I can’t help but know her flaws will always be there and will only become more prominent with age. She always tells me how handsome I am and I can’t say she’s beautiful anymore without hesitation and the ROCD talking in the back of my head. I love her so much and can’t imagine being with someone else, which is why it is so upsetting. I just want to love ALL OF HER including her flaws as she does for me. Can anyone relate? If so, have you been able to get over it?

Idk if this is OCD but I can't stop using qtips/ cleaning my ears. I get ear infections quite a bit so I clean my ears every day. This prevents and causes ear infections. I can't stand the feeling of wax in my ears so if there is any new wax I scratch. This causes infections. To prevent scratching I clean them which works for awhile until it causes an infection. It's never ending. I have no idea how to stop the cycle. My family says it's not OCD, it's just sensory issues because I'm autistic. I don't want to be saying I have OCD when I don't and make someone upset. I put trigger warning because I have no idea if this post will upset someone. I'm super new to this.

Hello, I have recently been dealing with lots of handwashing and having trouble using the bathroom or showering due to feeling dirty or contaminated after touching things. It’s made me quit my job, isolate, not eat, and not wanting to use the bathroom. Has anyone gone through this? If so has anything helped? Hope everyone is doing well <3

Can anyone else with ROCD tell me their experience with it and their partner? How you’ve navigated it and how it’s affected you? I just need ti know I’m not alone with my thoughts that throw themselves into me when I’m with my girlfriend. Thoughts of hating her, of hitting her, breaking up with her, being angry for no reason, and more recently a forced numbness that scares me. I think the numb could be separate and could be stress and burnout from taking care of her the past few weeks emotionally without breaks pretty much and I’ve been drained and I’m scared my love for her won’t come back but I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure it will. I hope it will but before when I had these thoughts they scared me a lot more now in more numb to them. I get scared that if I’m not obsessing over her then I don’t love her, or if I don’t want to be with her 24/7 then I shouldn’t be with her at all. Could anyone share their experiences?

does anyone feel like ever since they started with intrusive thoughts / compulsions that you feel as if your brain has turned to mush and your intellect has vanished. it’s really hard for me to string sentences together & i feel as if everyone who speaks about ocd has this way of putting it that i never will be able to. i’m still untreated & in the dark to be honest. when it comes about speaking about what ive been through as well i can’t remember everything only the really bad episodes, it’s like my brain is hiding it away from me waiting for a day for me to remember and traumatise me all over again. i’m also petrified of saying the wrong things to people and potentially worsening their ocd or seeming to be uneducated about it and like i have no idea what i’m talking about. i’m still learning but i’m frustrated that i feel as if i still don’t know anything. does that make sense?