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I am in my third year of university for my law degree, and I finished and submitted my essays without a proper proof read. I read over one of my essays and realised I made a mistake using the wrong word, it auto generated the wrong word and I must have clicked on it. Anyway then a whole obsession stated about me worrying that the university are going to think that I have used Ai. The thing is, I used wordtune to enhance my writing (reword my own words) but I didn’t use it to reword other people work and pass it off as my own. Anyway I’ve just terrified myself that I’ll get accused of using Ai to cheat and basically it’ll ruin my life. I can’t stop obsessing over it. I obviously haven’t cheated and it is my own work, I just used wordtune to improve my sentence structure where if needed more clarity. I don’t know if that is considered cheating or not. I’ve read up on if and it seems to be cheating if it’s used to paraphrase someone else’s work (which isn’t the case). I had to rush my assignments so that’s why I’m worried. My brother says I’m being ridiculous. I honestly can’t stop worrying.

This isn’t OCD related, but i need to anonymously vent as well as have someone offer advice, or personal experiences. I am obsessively in love with my best friend. I have never been in love before, and she drives me crazy because she’s never clingy. For me, clingy people are safe, but they are also a major turn off. She drives me crazy and I am sick and tired of being controlled by my addiction to her. Im sobbing because its been years that I’ve been obsessed with her constantly. She is the source of my pain but she is also a relief and distraction from my pain. She causes me so much anxiety but it’s hard to think that this is not love. My feelings for her are so strong that everything else in my life is just bland and I don’t really seem to care about anyone but her. I value her as a friend and she is also the only person I have which means I wouldn’t be able to handle cutting ties. I also know that she loves me a lot too, so I don’t want to abandon her. I sometimes get hints that she might like me too, so I get my hopes up. But then i remember, even if she did, us being together would just be painful and hard. She’s emotionally unavailable and is traumatized from her childhood. All of my past friendships it felt like I was constantly being smothered and running away, ultimately ending up ghosting everyone. With her, i have never felt smothered, and so In turn I am the one chasing for the first time in my life. What should I do??? I am terrified and lost, i am frozen because I know I need to take a step, but I don’t know what to do. I have this ravenous urge to fix her and be perfect for her so we can fall in love and be together. I also have to urge to just ghost her and never talk to her again. Any advice or thoughts or conversations is welcome.

Hello , I’m diagnosed with OCD as well as ADD and anxiety and short term memory issues . It’s so much sometimes, I don’t even like going out in public because being around people gives me me anxiety, if I see something out of place wherever I go I have to fix it because it will bother me . I never pick the first thing g from the shelves at the grocery store I will literally reach for the third one from the back . Sometimes I feel crazy and no one understands me . Just want to feel like everyone else .

My OCD began to flare up in my adolescence. It mostly stemmed from a tendency for perfectionism. I’m now 60 years old. Eventually, my symptoms developed into ritualized touching, tapping, and movement. For example, I would have to perform certain activities, such as getting dressed, in symmetrical or specific ways and touching or moving objects, as well as handwriting and typing, in a particular way or a specific number of times until it felt just right. I began seeing psychiatrists 35 years ago and have taken antidepressants since then. I’ve also worked with a clinical psychologist who specializes in OCD and worked with me in doing ERP. My symptoms have flared up since the holidays. I’m wondering if anyone else is dealing with movement and touching compulsions. I look forward to your comments. Thank you!

So I really need to do some cleaning in my room and the mess is so overwhelming that I'm not sure where to start. Like there's trash and clothes all over the floor, there dishes all over my room. Plus my bed is covered in clothes that I can't tell if there clean or dirty. I've tried cleaning by category ( ex trash, laundry, dishes) and it only helps for a few minutes then I get distracted by another task. So does anyone have any advice on where to get started? At this point I'm open to anything.

ERP has been crazy helpful recently, and I'm making a lot of progress. But now that I've mostly dealt with my main theme, I feel like my OCD is trying to pick at every little thing day to day. Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this?

Do I stand at the sink while my daughter washes her hands? She wants me to turn the faucet on and off. She gets mad when I’m not doing exactly what she wants and then ends up washing for an hour or more. Or do I just leave the room and let her do it.

This is my first time in ocd specific therapy, even though I’ve been struggling with it since I was a kid and I just feel like there’s no hope and I won’t be able to tolerate the distress of ERP. My OCD is so wide ranging and convoluted I can’t imagine being able to untangle it and actually make progress. It’s making me miserable and has me trapped in my thoughts but I don’t even know how to verbalize some parts of what I’m experiencing. I’m just checking, reviewing and over analyzing everything in my life constantly. My brain feels like it’s on fire and it takes me days to recover from OCD induced breakdowns. I don’t know if I have it in me to work through this :(

I cleaned for so long and showered for an hour. My hands are so pruney. I hate living like this. I’ve lost hope in myself. I cannot do it. I hate the fact that OCD is curable I hate it. I used to have a good plan for my future. Now I’m just nothing. Two years ago I thought that I would be better but I’m still the exact same. I was going to go to film school, I was going to move out, I had my own car, I graduated high school, was going to a behavioral program for this, and had so much opportunities lined up! But I’m still in the exact same place two years later.

Hi all, I’m really having a hard time with my OCD. I start ERP therapy on Friday, I had an intake session last week. I had a horrible OCD episode that knocked me off my feet last April and made my life so small. I lost my Nana, who was dying a slow death from cancer and I obsessed over this and criticized myself so much and started having existential obsessions. I worried if I loved her too much or not enough and it made me sick. I’m an artist, I stopped making art because I was having doubts and intrusive thoughts that I’m a bad person and I’m not truly an artist. I stopped doing freelance, which was my entire income. Then I got my dream job at a museum, then I started having doubts about deserving a good life and “living a lie”. Then I started obsessing over my sexuality and my relationship. Terrified that I can never get married or have kids because of my OCD. I was abused as a child and have a lot of shame about myself and also fear of trusting people. As a kid I dealt with horrible intrusive thoughts, as well as obsessions about my health that took so much of my childhood from me. The thing that scares the living crap out of me is many of these recovery stories where people had to “let go” of their entire lives and entire selves in order to get better. I feel like I’ve worked really hard to give myself a chance at life and I’m following my dreams, but I feel like OCD derailed those plans. So in order to get better, do I have to give those dreams up for good? I’m so scared. Would love to hear from someone who is in recovery or anyone who has similar fears.

If anyone else has had or has the theme of narcissism, do your thoughts sometimes have a selfish, narcissistic theme or attitude to them? Like “you know that person right there? You’re better than them.” “No I’m not- I’m not better than anyone. I don’t think that- I hope I don’t think that.” I’ll actively try and fight it off, humble myself, do something to make sure I don’t ACTUALLY think or feel that way. “You’re the best at everything- you probably think you’re the best at everything.” I’ll fight it off with “no I don’t think I’m the best at everything- I probably can’t do (whatever it is insert here)” “That apology wasn’t real- you didn’t mean it.” “Yes I did…wait- did I..?” I fear accepting these thoughts- or not combating them because then it feels like I actually think like that. “You’re not feeling overly guilty about that mistake? Or about that thing you did that contributed to something? You must not be able to handle accountability.” If I ever think something along the lines of “yeah I should’ve done this better or done this more, shouldn’t of done that, but I’ve never done anything extremely horrible, I don’t do anything or I try very hard not to do anything with the intent to REALLY hurt someone or do bad things- so it’s okay, I can try better next time.” My thought will come in with “we making up excuses now? If you don’t feel absolutely destroyed over that, if you can’t find something you did that you still feel incredibly guilty for, if you are not keeping score with all he bad things you’ve done to remind yourself every day how bad you are, you must be narcissistic or a narcissist.” Can anyone else relate to this? I would love to hear someone else’s perspective, i would like to know I’m at least not alone in this theme.

I've experienced a fairly wide range of ocd symptoms throughout my life... Contamination ocd, magical thinking, checking window locks, intrusive thoughts about cheating on exams, obsession with praying, several months of chronic guilt when I was 12 for breaking a school rule, body symptoms where I would have to jump, or contort my body, move my head etc. I'm 31 now and started dating a really wonderful woman 4 months ago. We clicked fairly quickly with similar interests, and had been having a really great relationship... a couple of weeks ago we discussed the types of things we would like in our futures e.g. marriage, desire to be parents one day. We found out we both have similar life goals etc. and it felt really great. I've never had so much fun talking with someone, hanging out or been so impressed by their character and compassion. It felt so easy to fall in love once I felt safe. A few days after checking in with one another about life goals, I was having a bit of a stressful night unrelated to the relationship. I visited my gf after her work shift and noticed I was more anxious in my body than usual. We meditated together and then put on a tv show, while I was watching the show I had this thought flash into my head saying "what if you don't love your gf as much as you could, and deep down you are obsessed with women who are white / from the same country as you" the thoughts flashed again the next day, i ruminated and "cancelled out" the thought by thinking of my ex as an example that i would never choose anyone over my gf. the following days i felt consumed by guilt and shame, thinking of myself as xenophobic and obsessed with the idea i am racist. I selfishly confessed to her about everything, without considering what burden it could place on her. i felt like i was lying and she should know the truth but now i feel more selfish for sharing. my gf is south american. we are both white / of european descent but i feel very much aware that she can face xenophobic discrimination where we live). I've been in love before but have never felt so confident about a relationship. She studies psychology and researched ocd the night I told her everything and has been really understanding and supportive. I love her so much and feel so committed, but keep feeling as though I must be xenophobic and even racist due to the problematic nature of the intrusive thought i had. inhave been feeling like I do not deserve her love, or to feel pleasure like reading books or even just enjoying working. my logical mind says of course ocd attacks your values in creative and messed up ways but i can't help but think that's a stretch from typical rocd and maybe i am a really bad person. has anyone ever experienced anything similar or the brain being extra evil / tricky?

My son has been diagnosed with OCD, but the therapist that we are seeing doesn’t specialize in OCD. They put him on medication that caused severe side effects. After we stopped the medication, they just seem to almost wash their hands of the situation. This is a center with therapists, psychiatrists, an inpatient unit, a detox, a built-in pharmacy, etc. Yet, they can’t help my child unles it’s through medication. I’m fine with meds if they improve quality of life, but they harmed my child when he tried their first line of defense med for OCD in children. The other meds are in the same class, and we just can’t risk what happened to happen again. Just a little while ago my son and his dad were playing a video game. I guess my son hit a wrong button by mistake. This sent him on a loop of having to reset the game a handful of times. He needed my husband to reset his end of the game too. My husband didn’t understand what was happening, and this led to more emotion and frustration from my son. At this point my husband is upset, so I come in to defuse the situation. I’ve learned that the calmer I am, the better. My husband is trying, but he gets overwhelmed with the behavior. This is our life on repeat. I am so afraid for my child. We need help. Does anyone have any advice in dealing with OCD in children. I just want my son comfortable and happy again. Thank you, Christine

I kind of wanted to try to be social and talk to people in college this semester, and in my online class we have a discussion thread to respond to a discussion topic and chat with people in our class. I asked my instructor if I could also invite people to study with me on this first week's discussion thread, and he said yes. So, I wrote my answer to the prompt and then I also wrote this to go after it. What do you think about it? If you saw something like this in an online class, would you consider it? Is there anything I should change or remove, and if so why? Is there anything that you would personally like to see that might persuade you to study with/talk to someone? "[RESPONSE TO TOPIC...] Also, if anyone wants to study, or if you just want a peer to chat with about college or otherwise, feel free to message me through my email. If there is a communication method that works better for you, then message me and we can discuss that! And good luck this semester, everybody!" Also, on top of the invitation in the discussion thread, I'm considering sending emails to the people in my class inviting them as well. And I'm asking the same questions to you guys that I am about the invitation in the discussion thread, but about if you got an email like this: "Hello! My name is [NAME], and you might have seen what I said in this week's discussion, but I thought I would also individually reach out to [you/people]. If you want to study, or if you just want a peer to chat with about college or otherwise, feel free to message me through my email. If you are fine and don't need to study, then feel free to disregard this email. If there is a communication method that works better for you, then let me know and we can discuss that! And good luck this semester!" Or is the email to everyone too much? Should I just not do that, at least not for right now, and maybe do that later in the semester if I feel like my invite in the discussion thread was overlooked? Or should I do the email -- will it make people feel like they are special? Or will it just be annoying? What would you think if you got a similar email? Would having the invite in both the discussion thread and individually to people's emails be redundant? And thank you in advance if you read this far. I just feel like I get too caught up trying to figure out what will make people want to have a conversation with me, and I keep adding things to try to show people that they can talk to me, but people don't usually talk to me for long and then I feel like I'm not welcoming enough...

What to do? So now my mother is refusing my OCD therapy, despite it's chronic from where it has been untreated so long. Not to mention its causes heart attacks and panic attacks and mental breakdowns. She's puts pressure on me. No Idea why I'm here? And why she even adopted me at all? For this? This is bs. The treatment I am getting. Not to mention when I admitted needing help, seeing doctors and getting treatment. Dakira then desides she does as well, I'm like okay, take me Seriously, this isn't fun, or, funny at all, I am on the edge of going so insane. My therapist thank goodness changed my appointment from 29th to the 16th and she acts as if this isn't something to care about...I'm done she can neglect me like she has been most all my life. But, to avoid my appointment schedule and important mental assessment artenuary is another. This is important to me, my health and my mental state of being, of that doesn't matter to her, I will call 911 and we can settle this in a court room. They will see my missed appointment and if I go off well, easy, she should have took me to my appointment,bout to ask to see if a friend can. This whole thing, her lack of support isn't safe on my end, I don't feel safe. Normally I don't talk at all, that's me .but, this is to much pressure. I'm about to go nuts Not only this, but I need meds and a better lifestyle than my living style now. I don't feel safe at all, she doesn't even know what OCD is and why people have it, say I don't clean? Yeah, because she doesn't give me my money enough to clean and doesn't understand noone can offord this mental illness. She doesn't get it's a struggle, doesn't try to help. She just sits on her ass watching TV and doing other things, not even asking, "Do you jeed anything?" I never cross her mind, she doesn't even get it, I fear my son's safety as he may have this as well, as for him I know he's safe since he is small it's easier to catch it and treat it. But, to do this, to love this way chronic with no medication is doing me in mentally and physically. It's too much to handle. So if I go nuts, it's not My fault.

I know this might be bad but I used to have some serious cuteness aggression with my cat and I used to like be a little too much with my cat like tap her head repeatedly and sometimes lightly hit her. I would also kind of annoy her a lot when she was trying to rest. I never did anything out of malice. I just have issues with cuteness and I know that’s not an excuse. I just feel really bad now.. I don’t think she’s ever like been hurt or anything, just annoyed and aggravated. Do I deserve bad things now?

I have a really awful event. One that required a lot of non-OCD related confessions to my gf. It happened 4 years ago. I don’t really consider any of my thoughts around this event to be OCD related, because it was actually THAT BAD, and I actually should feel the things I’m feeling. The problem that keeps coming up is my urge to confess more details. The thing I did wasn’t one event, but a series of awful events. My girlfriend doesn’t want to know anymore details. She says no matter how bad it is, she doesn’t want to know anymore. I keep getting memories of details that I’m worried would end our relationship if she knew. I’ve confessed so many awful details and she hasn’t left me yet, but there are so many genuinely terrible things that I thought, felt, intended, and acted on. With the thought that revealing a detail could end my relationship, how am I not supposed to confess? I feel like I am tricking her and she doesn’t understand the full extent of my depravity. When she looks at me with love I feel sick and unworthy. She doesn’t want me to confess anymore, my therapist doesn’t want me to confess anymore, and these memories are just sitting in my head, eating away at my soul. I feel so alone. I feel like most of you can probably guess the nature of what I did and might not appreciate me posting about it here. I’m sorry, I just need someone to talk to…

If you experience an excessive need to research and gather information about something how do you handle that compulsion? I find I’m doing that now with my ocd diagnosis and it’s exhausting. There’s never enough information to satisfy it . Any help would be appreciated.

I’m always waiting for the next horrible event to happen, and it’s sapping the joy out of my good days. I’m just waiting for the next time the house needs a major repair, or I’m waiting for the next family member to die horribly (even though no one is sick right now). I’m waiting for the next time my relationship takes a dive due to miscommunication. I’m preventing myself from making art my career because I’m convinced I’ll just mess it up, or I’m convinced no one would pay actual money for something I’ve made. I won’t go back to school because I’m convinced I’ll fail again, or worse, I’ll be too focused on myself to take care of my family. I’m so sure that everyone I’m close with in my life secretly hates me, and I know it’s the OCD but some days I’m just waiting for them to tell me I’m right, or I’m waiting for them to all leave me. I know I’ve felt joy, love, and acceptance at one point in my life, but those warm feelings don’t reach my heart when I’m stuck waiting for the next moment life kicks the chair out from under me.

I struggle with information and memory hoarding if that’s a thing. I very excessively buy books, I save interesting bits of information I come across online, I take an excessive amount of photos and screenshots and have tons of articles and info saved in a huge Google drive. I have many journals and logs. I back up things to multiple places, I save multiple versions of files I am working on, I record long notes after meetings, Doctors appointments and phone calls. I keep photos of all sorts of keepsake and nostalgia types items. I feel like I need to constantly archive all sorts of info. It takes up so much time and I have no sense of what’s actually important to keep, so I keep most things. Has anyone experienced this as an OCD theme? I don’t see much written about this anywhere. Other than books and journals, I don’t seem to hoard any other physical objects, but I have endless collections of digital content and files of all kinds. I have a lot of anxiety around losing valuable bits of info. For example,I just got diagnosed with OCD and I have already bought around 15 books on the topic (that I really can’t afford), have watched several documentaries and took notes, saved tons of articles and made playlists of tons of videos all of that I have read or watched over and over but I never feel like I have learned enough. I am not even sure what drives this. I would love to hear any similar experiences as I feel pretty alone in dealing with this.