Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Anyone’s periods make them super moody and emotional and then your ocd thoughts just like taunt you to make it worse

My intrusive thoughts about ending my life have been so active today just constantly going and going and going. It's been exhausting. My brain just constantly makes me doubt it's OCD with thoughts like "are you sure you love your life" "what if you actually wanna die" and I just been so sad all day because I've had a really good week and now this happens again out of nowhere.... I'm feeling so discouraged and so scared. Then when I'm actually enjoying life laughing ect I get the thought "don't be happy because people are always happy before they do it" and that sends me spiraling... Please send me some encouragement or any tips to help I would greatly appreciate it 🥺 thank you in advance. 🤍 sending hugs...

I don’t really know how to keep pushing anymore. Today I went out and I went to the arcade which was fun, but then as soon as I pulled up to my driveway I just felt a wave of sadness because I knew that I had to go back in my house and deal with my thoughts. I feel like that every time. I’ll have a small moment of distraction then I’ll immediately get sad because I know that after this, I’ll just have to go back to sitting in silence and dealing with my thoughts. They just feel so real and it’s so overwhelming. It’s so draining. I dont know what to do anymore. I’m scared that I’m using ocd as a “cover up.” I’m terrified of my thoughts ever being right. And I’m terrified of living like this forever. I was just okay a few months ago. But now I’m stuck in this seemingly incessant loop of suffering. It’s so painful seeing everybody happy because these past few months, I’ve felt anything but happy. It’s like I can’t be happy anymore. All I can feel is stress and anxiety. I just suffer in silence because I can’t talk to anybody about this. I feel like I’m going crazy and I’m scared that I’ll feel this way forever.

anyone else thoughts don’t always start with “what if”?? i sometimes get thoughts that’s like “you want to do it” “your going to do it” and things like “you might as well just do it because your unhappy now”. these all cause me major panic and makes me think i’m going to snap and do it. i feel like im going crazy from this and just want to get better.

The fear: I’m not good enough The obsession: my pastors righteousness The compulsion: trying to prove his unrighteousness The story: my wife and I got kicked off the worship team because we were arguing a lot, it’s a lot better now but it’s still not where I’d like it… the pastor who kicked us off is guilty of adultery and in my state that’s even a felony. I’m feeling not good enough because I’m not righteous enough to serve but I haven’t committed adultery… there’s a major conflict here. To make matters worse, my wife picked sides with the pastor, even after I begged him to at least let her serve on the worship team as I self deprecated to prove that she is blameless and that I should be the only one to suffer this punishment. This all happened in January, now it’s July and I’m having a hard time still… Help! I just want these thoughts to go away and leave me alone… I can’t prove his unrighteousness, everyone knows about it and they like him more than me because I’m some sort of OCD freak to them, or maybe that’s just the OCD talking… help!

These past weeks I’ve made phenomenal steps toward fighting back my OCD , I’ve either stopped having thoughts or minimized them and I’ve been able to focus on other things. However, last night I randomly started obsessing over one of my triggers and then I had this terrible disgusting dream about another one of my triggers. I used to tell myself “well as long as I don’t have dreams about it then it’s fine” well I just had a dream and now I feel sick to my stomach to the point of nausea. I made all this progress with my OCD and now it’s back again, I just want to cry, well I already am, but this is too much. This is like a sick joke

If I don’t think like “if I don’t do this in 8s my family will die” is it still ocd? I still will say if I don’t do it in 8s it doesn’t feel right but I never think stuff like my family will die or something. Is it still ocd? Help lol

Hey ! Does anyone think that intrusive thoughts are sinful? Does god punish us for our bad thoughts ?

When I was 12 I made one of the biggest mistake in my entire life. Last night, my brain decided to replay that feeling over and over again to the point of starting to hate myself for it. Now I can't stop thinking that I need to be punished for it, I should never be forgiven and that I am a bad person. My partner should break up with me because I am a bad person and they don't know about it so I don't deserve to be loved at all. I know, however, that I made that mistake a long time ago, that I am a completely different person and that I am a good person now, and that's what matters. But I can't get myself to forgive my past self because if I forgive him, that means I'm a bad person for condoning what I did. Do you have any advice on how to overcome this? Thank you in advance

i’m starting ERP on tuesday. These thoughts are truly scaring me into thinking i’m going to do something and i don’t want too. it makes me feel like im going crazy and i have no control. i can’t stop panicking im scared im not going to get better even tho every time i have my spiral i do, i just feel this way in the moment. is there any tips from people who have SOCD that can help me. I feel like i have had to isolate myself from any object that i feel my thoughts would tell me something to do with it. I’m also started having more depression from this too. What medications have helped with OCD for yall??

NSFW One of my compulsions is m-sturbation and I struggle with it here and there. Literally most of the time this compulsion is done is to get rid of groinal responses or the intrusive thoughts. but the compulsion itself is bad, and sometimes I think of really bad taboo thoughts and it gets me to finish but afterwards i feel very disgusted and shameful. i think these thoughts because i noticed they get me to finish way faster and im trying to look for a solution. i hate this so much because i know its wrong and i know it gives me temporary relief but thats the only “immediate” solution i guess. i feel like this makes me different. like something is ACTUALLY wrong with me. the taboo ranges from family, animals, trauma. how do i get out of this cycle. i feel disgusting and i feel as though this compulsion means im more likely to act this stuff out.

I am in the uk and voting just happened. My friend of 4 years voted for the party that has the opposite values of what my partner voted. Most people who vote the party my partner voted ARE bad people, but I am an open minded person and willing to know why instead of just assuming someone is bad straight away. My friend saw what my bf voted and was mortified and called him all sorts like racist and sexist etc. yet they haven’t ever had a proper conversation with my boyfriend or really known him. I know that my boyfriend didn’t vote for the reason my friend thought. He explained that he didn’t want the party he voted to win and dislikes them like me. The whole reason he voted is because he knew they WOULDNT win, not because he agreed with them and wanted them to win, he just wanted to lend his vote away and not vote for the same 2 main parties like most people, he didn’t want to vote for the 2 main parties as both of them have failed the country and with the uk you vote for your local politician and in his local area the 2 main parties were close and neither were more likely to win than the other, and he didn’t want to vote for either so he voted for a party that was predicted to be 3rd place and they wouldn’t win which they didn’t, and by voting for the party who were predicted to be 3rd it would show the 2 main local politicians that their seat was not safe and wasn’t a guarantee in the next general election so the vote was a tactical vote for the future as every seat matters to political parties so they would put more effort into making a positive change to secure their seat in the next general election.(sorry for long explanation) I got him to message my friend to have a civil discussion and try and get them to understand that they misunderstood my partner, but they just were not having it and didn’t want to listen and called us all sorts of stuff that we are not and I’ve had to drop them as a friend :( I feel like such a shit person I want to make everyone happy but I can’t and I feel like an awful person because I couldn’t talk to 2 people who disagreed on political party choices. They believe my boyfriend voted the party he did because he is racist etc when actually he tactically voted and DOES NOT support the party he voted, just wanted to take away from the main 2. He has stated that he would be UNHAPPY if the party he voted won, he only voted because he knew there was no chance of them winning. I know that my boyfriend actually has similar views to me and my friend. But he just wanted to try something different and ended up seeming like the main bad people who vote that particular party when he isn’t. Am I worrying about this too much and am I right for dropping my friend who wasn’t willing to have a discussion and has a sort of radicalised view and was rude to us and not willing to listen to my partner explain that they misunderstood?

I’ve spiraled to the lowest of rock bottom. I now have all subtypes and I do not deserve to live. I hate my mind so much. This has all happened in 3 months and all because of reassurance.

I was recently diagnosed with OCD last month, and my new psychiatrist started me on two new medications. I have not been put in any therapies yet, (talk therapy has always proved ineffective for me) but I am open to it in the future.) For the past 16 years, I’ve been living my life diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My new psychiatrist has “undiagnosed” me with those two disorders, and diagnosed me with OCD. She said my “anxiety” has actually been caused by severe untreated OCD. I particularly struggle with suicidal thoughts/ideation and have been hospitalized multiple times for severe depression episodes; including Catatonia and Existential Crises. Being treated for those other disorders my entire life (starting age 12) many of the medications they put me on always made my symptoms worse. This new revelation has caused me to experience feelings of confusion and loss of self-identity. This new diagnosis is scary to me, even if it makes so much sense. I’d appreciate any advice on navigating this time in my life. I appreciate this app finding its way to me in this time. ❤️

Today I realized I’m actually really scared of becoming a bad person. I’ve been dealing with symptoms of OCD for a few years now, or maybe they were always there and i never knew what it was. I’m scared that i’ll eventually become a bad person. I’m scared I’ll hurt someone one day, even though i have no violent urges or tendencies. I’m scared i’ll be a pedophile even though i have no attraction to kids. I’m scared that i’ve done something really bad to someone and i don’t remember. I’m just scared and I wish I could tell people my thoughts but i know it’s hard to understand intrusive thoughts when you don’t have them.

I just think this isn’t ocd anymore, i don’t know how to explain it very well but every since my ocd started i’ve been getting this weird sensation that i described as anxiety but i associated with the fact that i’m actually going crazy and that i’ve been faking mi whole life and i want to hurt the people i love (specifically my mom) i know i love her but i get trigger literally by everything and i’m so scared. My mind is telling me that i don’t have empathy so i’m constantly checking if i feel the way i have to when something sad happens and the thoughts are racing, i’m so tired of this it’s like i don’t know who i am anymore, i feel like i’m about to snap and hurt someone.. pls someone respond to this

Just got an intrusive thought and I’m having a panic attack as I write this. Someone called me weird today, somebody said I can’t listen at all, then someone else said something hurtful. Been feeling down today and then as I was eating I got an intrusive thought that said I am going depressed again. I’ve been going crazy. Fidgeting, bouncing my leg, sped up breathing… And I feel light headed and I just need somebody to tell me everything is okay. I can’t tell my mother because I told her I think I have OCD and she simply brushed it off and she will get frustrated with me if I tell her I am having a panic attack…

does anyone have like the strong fear to be always distressed and is hypervigilant all the time for signs it's true? and then get triggered when noticing even in the slightest?? how to handle that? I've traed ignoring but it doesn't work

I feel like there are times with my OCD that I don't feel anxiety but just feel this low grade, nagging, constantly under the surface guilt/sense of dread. Does anyone else have this? Like this morning I woke up and remembered something that happened yesterday that wasn't great and now it's not even specific "what if" thoughts or fears, just like this feeling that I did something wrong and everything is wrong because of it. I listened to an OCD podcast yesterday and they mentioned that there's also a lot of guilt and shame with OCD but that anxiety gets focused on more and that was helpful because there's this whole other set of experiences I have that I feel like are related to OCD but aren't necessarily anxiety or fear feelings. Anyone else have this experience?

I am angry 24/7. I’m in a constant war with my mind, and the images I get inside my head are unbearable to say the least. My mom passed when I was 17. (I’m 24 now)my two older brothers died this past November 2023 in the same week. I have no way of expressing my grief. I feel like nobody understands me. I’m not an alcoholic, but I feel like the only times I’m able to feel genuine emotion is when Im out with family drinking. My OCD is a battle from the moment I wake up, until the moment I drift off to sleep. And I feel restless because I have no relief while I’m sleeping, because of the kind of dreams I get, that are based off of the themes of my OCD. This is my first time seeking help with this, and I have had OCD since elementary school. I don’t wanna carry this anymore. Please, any advice you can pass along, share it. I feel alone.