Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I told my last girlfriend of 16 months I suffer from Pure OCD sexually intrusive thoughts, and she ended our relationship.

I am a Catholic Christian, and something that has been stressing me out today is the topic of the Final Judgement. One of my OCD fears is cheating on my boyfriend and now I’m having crazy thoughts like “what if I cheated on him, and then on judgement day God judges me for it, and then me and him are eternally separated?”. I’m also really afraid to get married (the fear comes and goes) because I am afraid I will let my OCD sabotage it. I’m afraid I’ll let the shame and guilt get to me and I’ll confess to things I did not do. Ugh. Does any of this make sense?

I’m seriously considering not bothering to have a relationship. After being single for twenty years at forty one and having a relationship that lasted less than twenty four hours I think why bother. Relationships just hurt. I don’t understand her thinking and why she said she’d been interested from the start. Why lie when you know how vulnerable I am? If anyone wants to complain about anything relationship related do so in the comments.

Hi guys! I believe I have an OCD since I was around 12. I remember then I had a lot of intrusive thoughts about religious things and I had a counting compulsion (I thought that If I don't count to 8 in specific moments, someone gets hurt) During later years it was really changing - I stopped being religious, so the OCD theme also stopped. Then I had I reckon SOCD, harm OCD and many others. But for know my main topic is ROCD. But because of the fact that this is my main intrusive thoughts topic I start to have this awful thoughts that this is not OCD, I'm just with the wrong person and I need to accept this fact. This is really struggling for me, because i really love my bf and Im in the healthy realtionship but Im so tired of having this kind of thoughts, sometimes I cannot sleep because of them. Also the fact that I've never been diagnosed (I cannot go on theraphy right now unfortunately) is another trigger because I have thoughts that I dont really have OCD, I just making this up, because I cannot accept the truth. Is there someone with similar experiance? Or maybe someone who can have advice for me?

Does anyone get unwanted sexual thoughts? I get them frequently and I didn’t know what subtype to add them into because it didn’t fit the “children” one they had as an option. I get these with family members and it makes me feel horrible and disgusted with myself. I used to get them when I was younger and I didn’t know what it was at the time, I just remember that I felt really icky and grossed out. I know these thoughts aren’t me but lately it’s been getting worse and I’m not sure how to stop them. I’ve never outwardly confessed this to anyone, but I know this isn’t me. And I want to stop these thoughts. If anyone has any suggestions on how please help.

have y‘all ever experienced emotional dependency on a friend? like when you are feeling down, they are the first one to go to for emotional support. and when they are busy / can’t give you attention right now, you feel sadder? i’ve always been like that but now this collides with my so-ocd and it’s the worst 😔

Who else is battling this Monster alone? I'm really struggling with feeling alone today. I've been divorced for 5 years and I'm scared that I won't be able to find any body to even be close with because of my OCD. I really just need a friend that understands or can relate. The holidays have been extra hard and my therapist is on vacation. My mind is going through a long list of things to latch onto so I am doing exposure. But I'm exhausted, and just feel like I need one of those hugs that makes you feel safe.

hi guys, im really looking for advice right now. this is going to be a super long post with a lot to it so i apologise in advance! i know reassurance isn’t good, but i really feel like sometimes it really confuses you on whether something is bad or not? does that make sense? i’ve been with my bf a while now and when we’re good things are amazing, but when they’re bad they’re bad. long story short, there’s been many incidents where he’s been name calling me, including very degrading words such as “wh*re” and when he called me this a few months ago this summer, i was very upset. he took me out the next day to make it up for me but then i saw messages on his phone between him and his friends of videos & pics of other girls. some were half naked, some had better bodies than me, society’s desired body shape. keep in mind his friend is married and he’s doing this too. anyway- i see my boyfriend send a post of a girl that tried to make a move on him during a night out (which he was honest about) but he sent it to his friend and said he “shagged her” i feel sick even writing this still. he swore on his little brothers life, my life and god he was just joking. but it got to me so so much bc i felt so mentally drained from the previous days argument and now this. my anxiety was sky high after for ages. even now when i think about it i still have doubts. fast forward to two weeks ago, i saw more messages on my bf’s phone of half naked girls (even tho he was apologetic about doing it the first time round and knew how much it impacted my self esteem, confidence and mental health) and i couldn’t stop crying. the worst thing is i said to him show me the messages and he deleted them. there’s been a few incidents last year where he liked other girls pics too and claimed it wasn’t him. idk i believe him but sometimes i dont. like all of this on top of the hurtful things he’s said to me really really get to me so much. we had a convo about it just over a week ago and he promised to do better which is good but i feel the damage is there. anyway, i have very bad rocd in terms of cheating. like me being unfaithful. i constantly avoid other men and interacting with them. like i won’t even walk past them. even opening the doors to delivery drivers give me sm anxiety it makes me sick. i don’t go on social media after a certain time incase i message someone and don’t remember. so last week i had a party, and my fears were still there bc i knew other men will be there and i did avoidance still. but there was a moment when i was taking pics of my aunt and a group of guys walked past me and the attraction felt so real and different to all times before, even the GR. i feel so disloyal even typing this. i feel like i cheated. and im scared that bc this attraction was there (maybe fueled more by the ocd) what if i stepped towards the guys when they walked past? i know i didn’t make contact bc id feel it and id know (even tho im doubting this) but im scared that i stepped towards them out of the attraction which is scaring me so so much. like if i did i cheated right? my friend said no. but i feel so sick. i also feel like feeling the attraction was bad, it felt intense but this may have been ocd mixed in? idk? but then the other part of me is maybe i felt like that subconsciously bc of the issues with my boyfriend? im not sure, i feel very confused at the moment. i have the biggest urge to confess but im scared. i think im more scared because of the times my bf has spoken about other girls etc and he’d do it more. bc one time he said he’d do something with another girl if i did something and after he felt bad when he said it but i feel like its really impacted my nervous system. do i confess? did i cheat?

My name is Luciana, I'm 22 years old from Argentina. I'm currently battling with generalized anxiety disorder and a really intense period of panic attacks. It all comes from my uncertainty in regards to my relationship. I never knew such a thing as ROCD existed, but when I read about it I couldn't help but feel like it really matched ALL of my symptoms and worries. I haven't been diagnosed with OCD though. I'm currently taking 50mg Zoloft, 1mg Klonapin and I recently (2 days ago) finished taking my last Risperidone (anypsychotic needed for my self-harming thoughts and actions). I would like to get to know more about the whole ordeal, as I'm succumbing to the panic and feeling like I might have to leave the beautiful relationship I have (for the last 5 years) and ruin everything. I know my unconscious is being dominant right now, and the pressure in my heart is unbearable. Please, help.

I’m having a pretty bad relapse on my ocd and I feel insane. It makes me think I’ll ruin my relationship or that I’m disappointing God. Sometimes with the repeated thoughts and nightmares for a week or two and then being fine next , does this insinuate bipolar???

I know it is Christmas but my anxiety is about NYE. Every year my friends want to celebrate it together and for the last years we have done so. However this year, I have not been much in contact with them and some friends organized a night, excluding other common friends of ours because they are not “party animal” and they want to be arty animals. Now on one side, I am not a party animal at all (even though I have been invited) and the idea of being forced into party animals celebration is horrible to me. However, my OCD is triggered by the fact that there are some girls that I do not know and my brain is already in OCD mode, telling me “You are going to be attracted by one of these girls,cheat on your bf and lose him forever”. Of course, this causes me tons of anxiety even though I know I am in love with my boyfriend and it is OCD talking. On the other side, my family is reunited to celebrate nye at my grandma house (she passed away in May) and they are all celebrating there and I feel like I will be happier there with them. However, I don’t know if I prefer that because I am compulsively avoiding the plan with my friends and feel safe or because I am truly happier with my family. I don’t want to do a compulsion, but at the moment I am so into the OCD cycle that I cannot distinguish anything anymore.

i had breakup nearly a year ago but i cudnt process or grieve my emotions as ocd was at its peak during that time. since then, ive always been occupied with ocd and the emotions of the breakup have been repressed. i really dont know how to release these trapped emotions. i want to move on but im scared that i might not move on and ocd wud act up. any advice?

I’ve never been in a relationship, not even held a hand let alone kiss anyone or be in a relationship with them. I’m a female in my 20’s and OCD sees relationships as ⛔️⚠️danger. the older I get the more scared I become and I don’t know if to take the leap of faith and learn along the way or work on the OCD around it first. Any advice or if you can relate please share thank you 💜🧠🙏 Context: ( I like a guy he likes me but he didn’t know do he was ready for a relationship, I didn’t want casual then we spoke again a while later and he said he could see a relationship in the future and I shut it down and explained it was because of my OCD but I still like the guy and I’m worried I’m going to lose this opportunity with him but at the same time I don’t want to rush into it and hurt him because he will be with me + OCD )

I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop ruminating. I can’t get over the false attraction. It is all so painful. I just want to feel like myself again. Are there any other lesbians on here who have ocd???

Hi guys, I’m new here not sure if I have ocd yet have not been diagnosed. I have a therapy appointment on January 8th so I’ll know for sure then. Anyways for the past few months I’ve been feeling like I have so ocd. I’ve liked men my whole life and have always been attracted to them but I’ve also never had a boyfriend or any experience in that area because I got my heartbroken in highschool and have stayed away from it ever since. I’ve been constantly googling and searching on tiktok to figure out who I’m attracted to and i still can’t figure it out. This one girl on tiktok who is a lesbian said she thought she had soocd until she talked to her therapist and turned out she was acc just a lesbian with ocd so that kinda freaked me out because what if my therapist tells me that? I also saw another tiktok of a girl that said attraction doesn’t always mean sexuality so what if im not attracted to men at all? I mean it’s fine if I am lesbian or bi but I just can’t see myself being with a woman in any way. But is that just internalized homophobia? I was diagnosed with anxiety a few years back and was put on novo sertaline, does anyone know if this helps ocd? I have a party for new years in a week and would rlly like to feel better by then and stop obsessing over this all day every day and making me feel distress. Not self diagnosing myself just wondering if sertaline has helped anyone else on here.

Hi all! So I’m home from college now for winter break and I was just curious: does anyone else’s OCD spike when coming home for the holidays? Like having an uptick in intrusive thoughts related to family members, being home, just surrounding that theme? Would appreciate input! It makes me feel so isolated. ..

I am having trouble coping with the fact that my daughters will not be with me on Christmas. Their dad left me when I was 8 months pregnant with our second child. The girls are now 18 months and 6 months and it breaks my heart that my life now consists of their dad getting to spend the holiday with them, and I will not. These thoughts are making my BFRD harder to control.

I don't know why maybe it's the OCD in me but I just can't comprehend why I'm currently so stressed about my relationship and questioning my feelings towards my boyfriend because I thought about changing the color of my hair or the way I present myself physically??? My brain immediately associates "change" with "this means I'm probably unhappy with my relationship and that I want it to change too" why??? I don't want to have these thoughts and I don't want to associate every little desire I have to change my routine or my appearance with breaking up with my boyfriend. Anyone can relate to these triggers too?

Hey y'all - I did something unintentionally, and now I'm really scared that I broke a boundary in my relationship. I have heard the logic for both sides of the argument, and while I don't believe I broke a boundary (when I'm somewhat calm) - I'm still plagued with doubt and fear, and it's making me believe that I did indeed do something wrong. Is this real event ocd? Did I actually do something wrong? I don't know what to do.

so i was just thinking about how girls are able to connect so easily with their boyfriends as if they’re on of their best girl friends and then i got worried that i’ll never be able to do that. like for example i’ve never had a boy friend (emphasis on friend lol) so i don’t know how different the bond is you know? i guess what i was worried about is that if i got into a relationship i wouldn’t know what to talk about with him, meaning that i’d rather have a girlfriend? but writing it down now it all seems kind of silly