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Do anyone else’s intrusive thoughts sometimes take up entire days where you feel completely dissociated and detached from reality? Lately my thoughts have been so scattered and intrusive that it’s like I don’t think about anything BUT my obsession. and unfortunately because i suffer from retroactive jealousy, my obsession is my boyfriends most recent ex. i feel like a creep that i’m always thinking about this person, whether they had sex, whether they held hands, etc. no matter how many times he tells me that it wasn’t a good relationship and they had no connection, it still eats me alive. I feel consumed by my thoughts and like I can’t even hold a conversation with him or be present in the moment. I want relief. 😢

I didn't even realize. I'm about to get my period and my anxiety is higher. I'm noticing how my friend hasn't written back to my texts or hasn't answered the last 3 times I called. I think he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I wrote a text and asked if I did something wrong and he didn't respond. My other friend annoyed me. And I think my other friend doesn't like me that much. I feel abandoned and forgotten and like I must be a bad friend or bad person or why would they all forget me like this. What did I do? Did I take my opinions too far? I've been picking at my skin, having a feeling of unrest. I just watch Netflix and lie on my couch to avoid it. I look okay, but I haven't worked in a year purposefully to find a new way, but I haven't found it yet. I'm doing so much, but it always feels like too little. I tell myself again and again that I'm doing enough, but there's always a voice that says no you're lazy, you're unhealthy and you're just making excuses. I hyperfixate on stupid solutions like blood tests, supplements, genetic testing to explain my symptoms my depression (or is it laziness) my anxiety, my lack of energy, my aches and pains. I quit all drugs and alcohol even caffeine. I track my sleep. I want to feel good. And believe it or not I was thinking I did feel good? Until the afternoon. I don't know. I really hope this is just some fucking b vitamin deficiency and I'll take some pills and be reborn as a human and not a trash pile. Look at me all perfect. With all my career, and my money, and friends who don't like me. Don't I look put together. I'm so imperfect and so scared of anyone finding out. I'm so scared to tell anyone how messed up I am on the inside. I rant to my therapist, my coaches, whoever but I'm just going around in circles. Without support I'd be fucking nuts. Thankfully I pay people to support me. Because no one would for free. Fuck my.life.

So like all of you guys, I get intrusive thoughts. I’ve gotten them to a point where they aren’t super debilitating but they still occur. The thing is, I don’t ever want to tell a partner about these thoughts as I don’t even want them myself. However, A part of me feels wrong for not telling them. I fear they may judge me or not want to be with me if they knew as they are sexual and inappropriate although they aren’t pedephellic. I’m not sure how to deal with this situation.

I am having a terrible week. I’m not sure what to do. I am getting married in June. I am so anxious about it I can hardly think straight during the day. I do erp. Nothing gets the anxiety away. It is crippling. My partner tries his hardest to understand. I am so confused on what to do. The closer it gets the more distressed I become. It is all I think about.

How do you know if a thought/feeling or idea is unwanted??? I didn’t WANT to have OCD but I do. What if I am the thing I fear and it is unwanted but it’s just who I am? How can I accept that when it would completely destroy everything and the relationships in my life? I don’t know how one can be expected to accept something like that. When in any other conversation besides and OCD conversation it would make you a pariah. So how do you know a thought/ feeling/ idea is truly unwanted?

OCD and anxiety are back in full swing due to something I have absolutely no control over. My brother has been a drug addict for a long time. He’s been able to get sober a couple times but this time is the worst I’ve ever seen him. I know there isn’t much I can do. You just basically sit and watch the demise of the person you used to know and love. He tells us he wants help but he just needs to get high one last time then he’s done, of course, neither I or the rest of my family help him with that request. We don’t give him cash, we will get him food and that’s it, maybe my dad will buy him cigarettes. I don’t sleep well, I am constantly over thinking, I have images going through my head constantly, I’m planning events that haven’t even happened yet. The OCD thoughts are terrible, and although knowing what the thoughts are helps, it brings me extreme guilt. Today I feel like I’ve just been floating through the day, I can’t remember the last time I’ve dissociated this hard for this long without being able to snap out of it. It was easy to ignore his situation but this time he asked me for help, good help. Help to get him out of his situation, what do you do in that situation? Of course I’m gonna help him. Of course he wanted to seek help then after saying he wanted to stay at my house till he went, but now it’s been 2-3 weeks, he still would’ve been at my house if I had said yes cause he clearly isn’t ready to leave this chapter behind. I’m so tired of dealing with this. I’m 23 in 3 days. He is gonna be 27 in March, our parents are no better than he is at this point, and no help to me or him. My brother won’t talk to my mom cause he’s angry with her for kicking his gf out, he talks to my dad but my dad doesn’t think he’s in any position to tell him anything (which is true, he really isn’t but he can try at the bare minimum) so it’s basically on me to figure this out, our sister offered to help with the charges up against him, but he didn’t ask for a PD so he needs to do that too. I’m stuck, I’m tired of dealing with this, and I don’t want the anxiety that comes with it. Thanks for listening to my rant :)

My boyfriend watch porn and it makes me think hes really weird and gross but i cant control it, am i wrong? even tho i also consume it sometimes it feels so weird, looks like hes a porn addict, i dont wanna end my 4 years old relationship bc of PORN what should i do

Is this normal? Does everyone experience this or if you experience it it really means that it's not for you. Or this is the same as relationship ocd? Im not in a good state these days but its okay cause im actually getting stronger now, but im really prone to have negative thoughts and any feelings that makes me question everything. I want to work with music, when im in my normal state i do know i want to work with it, but now i got feelings like maybe its not for me, and even that i dont like it now or something similar, and it scared me, it scared me cause deep down i think i want it and before i knew this is my path but now these feeling and thoughts scared me. "Does it mean its really not for me? Am i just avoiding to accept im not good for that, it's not actually for me?" I have these kind of thoughts.

I’ve been struggling a lot the last few days. My anxiety has been high, my OCD is trying to come back in, and I’ve been feeling sad. I’ve been crying a lot more than usual about missing my boyfriend and my parents when I’m not with them. The weather has been HORRIBLE the last couple weeks. It’s been really cold and icy, so I’ve been cooped up in the house and feeling really isolated. I’ve been working hard to process my emotions but it’s still hard. Anyone else going through something similar due to this winter weather?

I don’t know what to do. So, a little backstory, I’ve been with my boyfriend for about two months now, and only have known him for three months. The other day we went out to celebrate our two months at Olive Garden which, if you don’t know, is more on the fancier side, it’s not like McDonald’s or a fast food restaurant it’s a sit down restaurant. We get to the end of our meal and I come to find out that he does not tip which to me is strange. My family always does especially at sit down restaurant. so I asked him why and he said it’s because he don’t have a lot of money. Keep in mind I was paying half of this bill because he bought lunch for us so I paid for some of this meal. so we has a little argument about it and we got in the car. I didn’t really talk to him so we went and went to the beach and listen to the waves, and had a discussion about it. Last night some of my family and I went out to dinner we were towards the end of our meal and it came part for tipping. My mom ended up paying the bill and we all paid our portion. So I decided to bring up the fact that my boyfriend doesn’t tip and explained what happened. They told me that there was a lot of red flags and that situation but this is the first argument he and I had. My family is very I don’t know how to explain it, but they are very picky on people. Because he doesn’t tip my family doesn’t like him for example, or because he lives so far away. My family doesn’t really like him, but the fact he comes down and sees me is a good part. Obviously every relationship has their ups and downs, but this has been our biggest argument that we’ve had. My family comments were do you not see all these red flags and everything but it’s one argument and I really don’t know how to feel about it and I am very family oriented but I really do love my boyfriend, so any thoughts or opinions?

Recently i’ve been feeling lonely. My bf moved away to finish his last semester of college, and i’ve been struggling to make friends at my college. I can make “in class friends” but it’s hard for me to further those relationships bc idk, i think i overthink asking people to hangout? i’m so afraid of rejection, and in my major everyone knows everyone so it feels like one wrong step and no one will like you. But because of that i don’t think i’m even taking a step. My childhood friends have dwindled down to three lovely people but they all live far away, so i’m desperately wanting to make friends i have common interests with and i can do stuff with, on a whim just bc we’re in the same city. I really don’t know what to do, and i don’t want to spend the other half of my college years cooped up in my apartment by myself. Any advice on how you’ve made friends and how to hangout with them is greatly appreciated 💜

It’s so hard to deal with the conflicting feelings that come up. It’s hard but sometimes I’m able I to feel love for my bf again and want to continue being with him, I enjoy our intimacy and the bond we share, but my mind keeps screaming at me that something’s wrong and I don’t want to be with him 😭 that I wouldn’t be happy with him in the future even though everytime we’re together I never want to leave or have it be over. Everytime I try to envision myself with a woman the fact that’s there’s no anxiety and feels calm to think about is so scary to the fact that I’m anxious when I think about a future w my bf and it feels like it’s not what I want:(

I’ve been dealing with OCD for quite some time, and have had plenty of themes come and go. Some lasting years and some months. I have three major themes that still haunt me. They’re this constant dread of death, my moral dilemma of if I’m a good person, and recently my gender identity as a man. They all tie into each other and I more or less look at them as evolved forms of “conquered” themes. Like my self harm, Sexual Orientation, and pedophilic/assault themes. Death is a hard thing to accept though and I no longer have too many intrusive about harming myself or others for that matter because I’m constantly afraid of death. I don’t feel like a good person for my constant compulsions and compulsive behavior. I feel weak to them. I give in to my constant googling and forum browsing. I know for a fact I ask for reassurance constantly. I question my own sexuality and gender identity quite often because I’m not sure if I’m a good man and how could I prove that I am? I have a lot of compulsive regrettable and more importantly unproductive sexual encounters to make me feel like 1. I’m not gonna die 2. I can do something with my life that isn’t destructive 3. I’m a man doing my duty. Now for the gender identity portion of this I wanna make it clean that I love people from the LGBTQ+ community and support them 1000% but I feel like I’m a horrible person for being anxious and uncomfortable with these thoughts because nothing’s wrong with being gay or trans y’know?It’s either what if I’m in denial or what if I’m being too feminine y’know the whole “what ifs” thing? I don’t wanna die, I wanna be a good person. I am genuinely just scared, I just wanna live and not have the noise so loud. I mean I have panic attacks constantly. I try not to ruminate but it’s an ugly battle. It seems to me that my OCD flares up moth to month like I’ll have a good month of manageable intrusive thoughts but then the next moth I just decay. You know how many times I’ve scanned my mind just to find proof for and against all these themes? I’m sure some people can relate. OCD has made my life so isolated and I hate myself for that. I’m sorry for all the words, I’m just a mess right now. If you read this far I appreciate you so much.

This isn’t OCD related, but i need to anonymously vent as well as have someone offer advice, or personal experiences. I am obsessively in love with my best friend. I have never been in love before, and she drives me crazy because she’s never clingy. For me, clingy people are safe, but they are also a major turn off. She drives me crazy and I am sick and tired of being controlled by my addiction to her. Im sobbing because its been years that I’ve been obsessed with her constantly. She is the source of my pain but she is also a relief and distraction from my pain. She causes me so much anxiety but it’s hard to think that this is not love. My feelings for her are so strong that everything else in my life is just bland and I don’t really seem to care about anyone but her. I value her as a friend and she is also the only person I have which means I wouldn’t be able to handle cutting ties. I also know that she loves me a lot too, so I don’t want to abandon her. I sometimes get hints that she might like me too, so I get my hopes up. But then i remember, even if she did, us being together would just be painful and hard. She’s emotionally unavailable and is traumatized from her childhood. All of my past friendships it felt like I was constantly being smothered and running away, ultimately ending up ghosting everyone. With her, i have never felt smothered, and so In turn I am the one chasing for the first time in my life. What should I do??? I am terrified and lost, i am frozen because I know I need to take a step, but I don’t know what to do. I have this ravenous urge to fix her and be perfect for her so we can fall in love and be together. I also have to urge to just ghost her and never talk to her again. Any advice or thoughts or conversations is welcome.

I’m having very bad anxiety/ocd about myself as a mom. I struggle with harm ocd but have gotten SO much better. But of course, it always finds a way to show up. I have a 3 year old and sometimes when he gives me a hug, I don’t get the “warm and fuzzies” and that’s bothering me so bad. I asked my husband if he does every time and he said yes. So now I’m really freaking anxious that it must mean I’m a bad mom or I don’t love my son because I don’t always feel that way when we hug. Now because I’m paying attention to that, when we hug.. I focus the whole time on if I feel it or not which then I feel like ruins it. I know all of this probably sounds silly. But I’m just bothered that I don’t feel that.

So I’ve had this recent obsession that has made me upset. It’s basically an obsessing about blushing… when you’re young and see your crush people tend to blush for example, but people can also blush in situations of feeling embarrassed, anxious, joyful, excited, happy, nervous, feeling flattered etc… I am in a committed relationship and love my man immensely, ocd has been putting these thoughts/ideas of what if I blushed at someone and trying to make it seem like it’s a romantic/sexual/crush type thing… which I feel is making me very hyper focused on blushing… like it’s just making me uncomfortable because though I know we have no control over blushing, ocd saying to me I’m going to or have blushed over people because they’re attractive while I’ve been with my partner - makes me extremely uncomfortable!!! As I said blushing comes from lots of different emotions, it does not always mean you’re romantically/sexually interested in someone? I know this is kind of reassurance but can someone explain to me it is possible to experience blushing from multiple emotions and just because I see an attractive person doesn’t mean I’m going to blush over seeing someone attractive?? Like I blush when I smile (I have naturally very pale skin and redness in my cheeks a bit, and I find even smiling can trigger blushing)… I also go quite red from being anxious or embarrassed. I’m not in highschool and don’t have “crushes” on anyone, I am in a committed relationship and don’t want to feel I would be “blushing” over someone that’s not my bf in the way I would blush over my bf??? If that makes sense? Sorry I know this is so far fetched but I’ve been obsessing for days and trying to work on not confessing to my partner. Wanted to come on here to ppl who know what I’m going through and maybe see if anyone has any advice for me in this situation? I have started therapy but only see him once a fortnight and he isn’t an ocd specialist…

So confused how I can go from feeling this strong sense of “Nothing can happen to my husband, he needs to be safe, I’d never fall in love again or find a better man if something happened to him, we have to grow old together.” (For months!) to suddenly feeling “I’m not attracted to him, oh no my friends’ partners at this cabin retreat are more attractive than him, oh no everyone agrees they’re super attractive, no one said anything about him, maybe we’re going to split up one day because I don’t feel attracted enough to his personality and physicality and maybe that’s why I have vaginismus.” Trying to ride out the wave and figure out what my values are telling me. I know everyone goes through less attracted periods (this one literally started in the car on the way to the cabin so it’s been two days and a half but my brain is thinking such DIRE and depressing thoughts constantly). Anyone have any helpful resources they might recommend? I really wish my attraction wouldn’t unplug like a cord. It seems to be very triggered by public settings with comparison to super cute and happy couples and/ or by my own feelings of boredom with more nerdy topics he discusses with friends.

Hello everyone 🙂 I usually struggle with POCD/HOCD This is my first time dealing with relationship OCD And it’s different intrusive thoughts and anxiety and shame that goes with it. I I’m very happily married for 16 years and I love my husband more than anything itself He’s my best friend and there’s nothing that I don’t keep from him EVER! I’m not the type of person that looks for attention. I’m very quiet, and I keep to myself recently I went out to eat, and the waiter in the restaurant flirted it with me. And he gave me a couple compliments nothing serious. He made a comment about my hair, and that was it. I never put myself in situations for things like that can happen because I love and respect my husband so much that even the thought of somebody talking to me, I feel obligated to tell him, because I myself consider that a form of cheating if you don’t relate what your day was like to your partner. The whole interaction with the waiter I didn’t even think about it twice until I got home that evening and I’m in my head thinking about my day and so on , that night I had a thought what if he came up to me and flirted because I somehow made him think that I wanted him to, and that’s when the anxiety and the fear and the shame kicked in the next day, I was an OCD intrusive thought mode all day long I couldn’t sleep or eat that day. Obviously, my husband noticed there was something bothering me so I told him everything that happened and I even told him that I would never do anything like that I would never cheat on him. I would never put myself or my relationship and my family in a position where I could lose them or lose him that’s not who I am I value my marriage, and if you knew my husband, you would understand why he’s the best man I’ve ever met in my whole life. I felt so relieved to tell him my husband also struggles with OCD, but his is different from mine. He does rituals and compulsions, and he doesn’t really share light on his intrusive thoughts I myself am more forward with it and I don’t like to keep things inside of me, I don’t have many friends so I rely on my husband for a lot of support He was super understanding about it, and just said well who cares I told him that I wasn’t going to that restaurant anymore and we left it at that. the problem with it I guess is I have to drive through the restaurant area on my way home cause it’s close by to where I live so I don’t know if it’s the restaurant itself that’s triggering my OCD or the fact that I think that I put myself in that position which I know I didn’t all I did was want to order a pizza. In my head, and my intrusive thoughts are telling me that I’m a cheater, and I somehow wanna cheat which I don’t. I’ve never had this problem before with my OCD. this week I found a new way of taking shortcuts, so I don’t have to drive through there anymore, but even that’s triggering me. When the whole situation with the waiter happened when he gave me the compliments all I said was thank you and I left. so I don’t know how my thoughts went from 0 to 1000 it’s literally playing out like a movie in my head. If I cheat it this would happen I would lose everything I would lose my husband I wouldn’t be able to look at him or face him it’s all those feelings combined into one. It literally makes me nauseous to even think that I would do something like that to him or anyone. Yesterday, my husband told me he was leaving town for two days for business and my anxiety kicked in full gear. I thought if he’s leaving, maybe he’s watching to see if I’ll do something crazy or cheat in the whole thought process started all over again. Which I know he doesn’t think that I truly believe my husband knows how much I love him and respect him But you know once OCD starts with one thought it gets out of hand and it’s like a movie and then those that scare you for even having the original thoughts I just don’t know what to do at this point with the thought and I’m starting the thing is this part of my character do I want something like this to happen or is it my OCD? Has anyone ever felt like this like that with something like this? Any advice or support would be great

My husband and I have a sensitive relationship for the last two years and I’m in therapy for my ROCD. Tonight he was out with friends and was going to stay the night. and not texting me back soon enough and I got triggered thinking he was with someone else and wants to leave me. I was crying and screaming to myself. He eventually called and reassured me that he wasn’t with someone else. I’ve never had an episode this intense. Could therapy be making it worse ? And what are some ways to cope so we don’t have to involve our loved ones during episodes

This is the one thing I haven't told my family about and I don't know how to break it to them. I've been addicted to sex and pornography since I was a pre teen. It was when high school started that it interfered with my life. To this day it's all a problem. Intrusive thoughts about videos I've watched, intrusive thoughts about sexual acts that are regrettable and disgusting, and constantly worrying that I'm going to slip into my old habits, which one way or another is just me delaying the inevitable. In adulthood, it's been affecting me in different ways that haven't happened in my teen years. If I relapse to it late at night, I won't be able to sleep right for at most 2 days. Insomnia has been a reoccurring problem no thanks to this, stress, and OCD. I think it's also affected my fertility greatly. I'm still working on seeing a doctor about all of my health concerns. Truthfully I just want this to stop. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I don't want to keep watching out for triggers, have intrusive thoughts about anything sexual, or remember very unfortunate things I've seen in the past. There's a woman that I really do like genuinely for who she is. She's been on my mind for a long time now and I really do wish to get to know her more, but this awful addiction that I've been dealing with for almost a year now holds me back. This was never something I liked having in my life. Even as a teenager, I knew something was wrong. I had a hunch that this wasn't something that I should be okay. Through all the hijacked dopamine and changes in my mind, that was always on the other end of the spectrum for me.