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I’m having an intense bout of relationship OCD right now and the rumination is too extreme. I would normally call someone but everyone’s asleep. Anyone got any advice or distractions right now?

(Very triggering rant) If you’ve read a previous post of mine, my partner and I have been invited on a weekend long trip by his coworker. It’s to a comic convention, which I’ve dreamed about attending with my bf for many years now. Here’s the issue: It’s in a crime-ridden city, it’s over a duration of days, and..Well, it’s with my boyfriend. My family is painfully strict. Last year, I asked my family if my bf could visit me at my college for my last formal. I had intense paranoia leading up to asking, and my therapist had reassured me that my fears were senseless. And yet, my intrusive thoughts came true. My parents were so upset that I would even consider such a “dirty,” impure thing as inviting my bf to stay at a DIFFERENT DORM over multiple days, and to attend a dance with me. My dad insisted to me that “no man or women can ever resist temptation” (his words not mine), and concluded that I’ve clearly been sleeping around (I’m a virgin) and will get pregnant and ruin my life if he visits. After contending them on these insane accusations, I had my spending money taken away. When I asked for certain information so I could get a job to make money, I was screamed at and they refused (I wasn’t allowed to get a job until I graduated college). Eventually, it culminated in my parents threatening to disown me for “choosing to betray the family” (their words, not mine), including preventing me from contacting my sisters. They told me they were ashamed of me, that I had become God-less because of my boyfriend, that I’m not even the same person. I was silent from shock. My parents did not like that. And so they lied to my sisters and told them that I was willing to give them up for my bf, which I never said. That one action drove me over the edge. I gave in. Immediately my parents were all loving and sweet. That sudden shift was terrifying. It reminded me of television, it was that unsettling. Now, a year later, I want to ask to go to this event, but I’m TERRIFIED. Not of them saying no (because I figure they will say no), but of what could happen if I EVEN ASKED. My boyfriend wants me to stand up to my parents and ask, but I think it’s a horrible idea. I don’t think my boyfriend quite understands what I went through last year. It was TRAUMATIZING. My family pretends last year didn’t exist. They haven’t brought it up since. But bringing this new trip up, well, that could unearth everything. I’m terrified.

i just downloaded this app. recently ocd has been absolutely exhausting. I have really bad issues with feeling body symmetry and needing to feel like my body is even; if that makes sense. Intrusive thoughts have become louder and are affecting my relationships, i feel like a burden. i’m hoping to find some support and sense of community here as i try and learn to better manage.

I can't seem to stop ruminating on my fiances past experiences and sexual encounters. We get married in 24 days and I'm sick to my stomach daily thinking about her past and the possibility of us not working out and me being abandoned again like I always am. I have done bad things in going through my spouses phone and deleting and blocking people from her past and I'm not even entirely sure she knows I've done that. I have brought up things in her phone that I have found that bother me and when I do she gets very angry. But my OCD won't allow me to not keep digging to find the reason why I am not enough for her like I haven't been for everyone else in my life. Seeing her talk about past sexual partners in private conversations has killed my soul because I can't compare or compete with those people on that plane. Feel like I'm drowning and losing the only important things in my life due to this sickness.

This hurts. So. Bad. I’ve been sobbing the entire day. I’m so done. I have an exam tomorrow that I need to study for but I can’t focus on anything else rn. Heartbreak + OCD is one of the worst feelings ever.

I love my partner and I can tell she's not a hateful human being. It seems clear to me though that she has mainly interacted with white people in her life and I think she's got white fragility. The other day she was telling me something that her friend was saying about me and prefaced it with, "Please don't think this is racist", but I was offended by what her friend said. I take a lot of issue with the phrase "please don't think this is racist" from a white person, even if it is my partner. As a person of color I feel like I have the right to decide if smthing said about me in the lack of my presence is racist or not. I get fired up and angry thinking about it, but I wish I could let it go. Ive just felt so invisible as an Asian American for much of my life. I've never been good at spending time with people I don't agree with. I just can't stop thinking about it over and over. I'm not sure what to do.

Hey everyone, my mum gifted me a birth chart reading as a birthday present. I don’t necessarily believe in astrology but its fun to hear, yk? So today I went and got my birth chart analyzed and and she said something that really triggered me. Most of the things she said were true, some things even were realllyyy specific and true. So in the last 10 Minutes she wanted to explain what Lilith meant in my chart. She listet a few things and one of them was „accept your homosexuality/transsexualitiy“ and now I am very scared. I’ve been dealing with soocd and Rocd for the last 3 1/2 years and lately Ive been doing quite good. But that phrase shook something in me :,) Does anyone have an idea on how I can deal with this feeling. I know astrology does not necessarily need to be true or 100% true and she also said things that didn’t apply to me but I am so scared. How can I deal rn..?

Struggling with ROCD lately and it’s really getting to me. I know I love my partner deeply, but these intrusive thoughts just won’t let up. It’s like this constant battle between my heart and my mind, and it’s exhausting. Does anyone else experience this? Feeling like you need to do something to ease the uneasiness, even though you know deep down you’re with the right person? It’s like walking on a tightrope of happiness and doubt.

hi. relationships are really hard for me. the intrusive thoughts while we are just hugging and like showing affection r bad. it almost ruins the entire feeling for me. i started to have doubts while we were cuddling and think abt what if im not in love with him and im using him. i love him very much and id never wanna do anything to hurt him. hes very sweet to me and i try my best to show that i love him too but my thoughts keep telling me im not in love with him i need to leave because im gonna end up cheating on him or telling me that i already did and telling me im leading him on and playing him when none of this is happening or true. i actually cried a little bit while cuddling with him because of this. i dont want to ruin the relationship its fr interfering and i hate it :(

I took the leap and finally started therapy... I say "finally" even though my current bout only developed about a month ago now. But it's felt like such a long rough journey. Scared but hopeful. My whole life has changed so much in such a short amount of time. Sometimes I curse myself for the decisions I've made that caused my socd/hocd to develop in the first place but it's had some good outcomes. I've talked to my mom about my personal issues that I felt like I could never bring up to her and she's done the same.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have experienced a lot of recovery due to ERP but I’m often triggered to the point of relapsing anytime I date someone new. I feel like many of my friends talk about how noncommittal and casual the dating culture is but for me it’s more than an annoyance— it causes me to spiral. I don’t know how to actively date in this age where so much is grey and avoid rumination, checking, and other compulsions I struggle with. it’s so hard and I just wanted to know anyone else’s experiences?

I’ve had this problem for a few months I question if I actually believe myself, it could be something small like my fav color or if I really love someone. If I think I like something my brain automatically goes to “you only like it because you think people want you to like it” even if I’m saying that I like something in my head and no one would ever know, it’s just small things throughout my day like that; that have me questioning who I am and if I even know anything about myself. I don’t know if this is related to ocd and would like to know if anyone has experienced this.

I used to be terrified of driving. I’d get a pit in my stomach telling me I would die or cause a terrible accident. It was very visual. Almost close to panic/or sometimes even panicking. And normally connected to my husband dying. With ERP, I learned to do it anyway and I learned to tap into the motivation to drive (see family, be independent). I live in a city where I normally take public transport but this week I was visiting a place where I had to drive. This week, I drove without my “safe person” in an unfamiliar place on huge highways and I was absolutely fine. I was bored, yes. I was annoyed at times, yes. But by the end of my trip here, I realized driving can actually even be pleasant. I absolutely prefer public transport for a whole host of reasons but I know I can drive even while feeling uncomfortable. The intrusive visual images and pit in the stomach feelings almost feel like old memories than present day intrusive thoughts. Is that the point of ERP? To get comfortable with these intrusions to the point that they don’t bother us? Don’t get me wrong, I have another trip coming up where I will be doing a lot of driving and ocd has latched onto that. But it’s less intense. I’m more comfortable with those feelings of anxiety. I can recognize that the images my brain gives me are just images, not reality. I can choose the narrative.

So, I’m hardly ever interested in getting to know someone. But when I am, oh my god, my brain doesn’t stop . I come up with every scenario that could potentially occur and I only know their first name and what they look like. I hate myself for it so much. Right now, I have a lil crush on this guy, but I’m obsessing over whether or not he’s gay and I’m not picking up on the social cues because that would be embarrassing. Or what if he’s not and I’m a horrible person for assuming that. I shared this with my sister and she told me to smoke a joint 😭 I’m embarrassed af and I wish my brain would just stop. It’s moments like these that I try to just forget even happened.

How am I to know whether I have ROCD or if I should leave. I keep having critical and negative thoughts about everything my partner says and does and the way he looks and acts and his personality: literally everything! But I know he’s not the problem, I am, because he’s not toxic or bad. So how do I know if it’s ROCD or if Im trying to force myself to like the wrong person? I’m so lost and confused. He’s such an amazing person and I don’t want to hurt him. I just wish these thoughts would go away and I could see him through rose coloured glasses. But I’m feeling so discouraged and getting tired of trying.

Is my quote on quote regular OCD turning into relationship OCD? How do you know? Is it me being extra pre cautious or overthinking? Is it past pain from past relationships creeping back out trying to ruin my current one? Is it my OCD causing some worry and paranoia regarding my relationship with my significant other now? How do I know? I know my significant other would never hurt me in that way yet lately I’m questioning everything in our relationship? Need some advice please…. 🥹hate this and don’t want to ruin my relationship. 😖

back story: i have been having thoughts about my ex crush for like about two years now, off and on. I know I love my boyfriend and I want to be with him. But my ex crushes name always pops into my head every fucking day, my brain always ties back a connection with anything I fucking do, and I see his name everywhere which always makes me think it’s a “sign” I get sad bc my mind will always replay memories with the ex crush rather than my boyfriend and I get upset with it. I’m at my wits end and I feel incredibly guilty bc I don’t want this person, nor do I want him in my head. Has anyone gone through this where they had intrusive thoughts about a person for no reason?

Do any of you deal with OCD showing up in your dreams? Just had a dream where I fell for this beautiful girl and I felt so happy and then her face turned into a masculine face and realized it was a man after. In the dream, I even started questioning what if thoughts and scared why this happened. Now, I can’t shake off why the woman’s face I saw turned into a mans and why for a split second I was still thinking it was a woman’s face. I just feel sick and exhausted that I keep having this theme running around my mind. I don’t want to be gay ever and all these thoughts and now dreams make me feel ill

Why must my OCD always make up the scariest scenarios to torment me with. Some guy was hitting on me on reddit and the convo didn't get far before I just blocked him but now my OCD is like 'he's gonna be mad and DOX YOU/STALK YOU' huh??? how did we get here?? now I wanna compulsively delete my account .. These new meds better kick in fast T-T

How can i know that im not actually faking my attraction to hide my denial and hiding my real attraction like its so scary and confusing