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Anybody else have obsessive ruminations about their partner being a “moral” person? It doesn’t relate to God or a higher power but rather being obsessed about my partner not causing harm to others/ fighting for social good.

I recently had a dream that i was romantically in love with a child, but we didn't do anything sexual. I've never had a dream like this before. But now when i recall on how i felt in the dream it's like i felt a romantic attraction. And i remember the feeling, it feels so real.. I wonder if the romantic attraction was just a figment of my imagination and OCD or I'm actually a pedophile. I've struggled with pocd for a while, but I've never been sexually aroused by a child. Does anyone have any answers?

I’ve been struggling with POCD since I was 18 years old, I am now 22. It’s terrifying how quickly it switched from my ocd focusing on a fear of pregnancy, to magical thinking ocd, and then to POCD. I’ve been suffering with it so much so that I’ve convinced myself and have lost friends due to confession compulsions. I have major issues with ruminating, and it frequently goes hand in hand with my relationship OCD and my Suicidal thoughts OCD. (Worrying my partner will leave me because what if I am, and that I can’t take this anymore so I have to __) I often experience things like shame, guilt, grief, and intense emotional pain that manifests itself into nausea and heartburn and sometimes headaches. I’ve tried everything, so this app really is my last resort. I wish to find community here, to know that what I’m facing I’m not alone in my battles with. I know that I’m not, so why does my brain work so hard telling me I am? I love children, I always have. But I get so afraid of being near them. I want to get better. I want to be able to spend time with my family again.

So i’ve been working at my job for almost three years now and i’ve been friends with one of my coworkers there for a while now. i’ve always viewed him as a friend and we joke around a lot. all of a sudden today at work i got really worried that the jokes I make are actually flirty and that i like him. I feel so guilty and anxious right now and feel like i don’t deserve to be with my boyfriend. i can’t tell the difference between by real feelings and ocd and it’s freaking me out. i never think about this coworker outside of work and the only times i do is “oh i hope so and so is working today that’ll make the shift more fun”. but now i’m worried that i say this because i like him. I love my boyfriend so much and don’t want to be with anyone else. i can’t tell if this is a real feeling but i don’t want to have it.

Okay I have to vent because I truly just feel shit today. Last night I had this horrible dream and right before this incident happened in the dream I had thoughts that I was aware it was a dream & also had this thought saying “I better do this because I’m dreaming” now this was actually a really fucked ip dream in the sense I had sex and got off over an old friend of mine that is a girl, I have a boyfriend I would never cheat on him ever!! I feel sick to my stomach because lucid dreams people can control themself in the dream sometimes but I’ve also heard that just because you may feel aware you’re dreaming at one point does not indicate you have control over the dream, many people can still not have control even when they are aware they’re dreaming… I have had many dreams where I’ve been doing things and somewhat seem like I’m enjoying it in the dream about things that repulse me such as anything sexual! That doesn’t make me feel good and if I had control over a dream I would dream about good things? Things I had a desire to do? I’m just asking has anyone else suffered with feeling slightly aware you are dreaming when you can’t actually control anything you do? I feel sick because I don’t want to feel like if I was in control that I would’ve gotten off and basically slept with someone besides my boyfriend… it actually makes me sick! I think having control over your dream takes a lot of practice! Which I have not and would not practice… I guess I’m just asking has anyone had a dream that is based off things you’re afraid of and ocd themes, and you might have an awareness that you’re dreaming but don’t actually have control, I think I even had a thought in the dream before this happened saying basically “well this is a dream so I better take advantage of this opportunity” which is freaking me out like is this a deep desire of mine? Was this a conscious choice I made in the dream and did I have control over this dream. Or do you think that if I had control I wouldn’t have acted in those ways! I’m just worried because especially the thought saying basically I’m dreaming so I better act on this situation because it’s a dream… does that mean I had control or it could’ve been an intrusive thought in the dream??

Hello. I am 39 years old and I see that OCD is increasingly damaging my mind. I forget things, I am unfocused, I tolerate changes less, I get tense very easily, I am more fearful and so on. I stopped leading a social and active life, let's say normal or functional, at 19 years old. I locked myself in a bubble in the hope that I would find a cure for my disorder and unfortunately I lost my youth without improving, which is a horrible burden that has often made me become very depressed and feel such a great degree of nostalgia and regret that it makes me think about suicide. I have never had a girlfriend and many years ago I stopped having friends. For many years I was fine with it and even enjoyed my loneliness, my misery, my depression, my isolation and my lack of connection and harmony with the outside world. The problem is that for about 6 years now, this has finally taken its toll on me, especially the fact that I have never had a girlfriend or sexual experiences. My libido has increased, I fall in love very easily and become attached to many women that I barely know or with whom I have minimal contact in a store, street, etc. My rational part tells me that it is not a real love, but my obsessive disorder is characterized by sabotaging myself and making me magnify many things. It is a disorder in which I ended up stopping going out and going to school because it suggested that I couldn't speak, that I was very hungry, that I liked vulgar and disgusting things, etc. Even to this day I can get a feeling of hunger because someone insults me while I'm driving or if someone says a mocking comment to me it can cause me to not be able to speak or any of my suggestions. All day I feel a tickle of anxiety in my mouth. He's not leaving anymore. I also can't speak naturally because there is almost always the fear of losing the topic of conversation, not knowing what to say and boring the other person. I imagine scenarios asking a woman out and I know that at any moment she could lose the ability to converse fluently and therefore bore her. Plus my self-esteem is on the floor. I have felt disgusting in the eyes of women since I was a boy. I've tried logging onto Tinder, Bumble, and other apps without much success, which further affects my self-esteem. Sometimes I can't stand the urge to have sex and it bothers me a lot because I also tend to have animosity towards women. I would like to be asexual or not have a libido. I also wish I didn't feel this need to socialize, but I can't. It's already overtaken me and all these years of isolation have finally sabotaged me and my body and mind are crying out for social contact. I really regret not having been braver in the few opportunities I had to have a girlfriend or sexual relations. I think if I had had these experiences right now I wouldn't have this need to date a woman. It would be the same as what I feel with friends. I did have friends, I know what that is and therefore, I don't need them. If I had had a girlfriend and sex right now it would be a reminder that I was once able to be functional, I would already know what that is and therefore, I could concentrate on other things and even close that chapter. To make matters worse, my disorder makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong when I suddenly have the opportunity to talk to women more or less my age. I feel something ridiculous and disgusting that makes me feel like I'm cheating on my mom and my brother. It's something very strange. My damn fucked up mind has me in the middle of needing to have sex and some relationship with a woman and not being able to, because I don't know how to flirt, I have low self-esteem, I'm afraid of cruel and mocking rejection and I also don't want to expose myself to women who could be shit Does anyone identify themselves or has something similar happen to them? I've been taking fluvoxamine and quetiapine for years, but they only keep me more or less functioning and not going under. I'm tired, really. I hate having this need and not being able to do anything. I see even ugly men on the street with girlfriends and it irritates me. I also have this fixation that when I see a woman touching, kissing, caressing or sitting near a man I am surprised that they are not disgusted by it. I do not know what to do. I am getting sicker and sicker and also all these years of isolation and bad social experiences have made me hate people in general and women even more for not paying attention to me. As a teenager when I went out with my friends I was the one who only saw how my friends flirted, were successful with women, had affairs, had sexual experiences and I was invisible. They didn't seem to care and didn't even know what to do. Furthermore, the lost years of my youth are a very heavy burden that does not allow me to live in peace. I could even win the lottery and my life could magically improve and I couldn't even be happy for these lost years. Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated. To make matters worse, I haven't seen a psychologist in years because I have never worked because of my anxiety and as a consequence, I depend in part on what my mother gives me in terms of money, who sometimes drives me crazy. The problem is that sometimes my body and mind also ask me to be alone, but my OCD makes me have at the same time fear of loneliness and panic attacks because if I am going to live alone, it is really being alone without anyone. No friends, no work colleagues, no girlfriend, nothing. I thank you in advance for your attention.

do u ever notice how like if u used to like someone u still acknowledge theyre attractive but ur not attracted to them? thats how i feel abt my past crushes but theres a guy i want to stay in love w and stuff but i feel like my rocd made me lose the spark and now i feel like im forcing myself to like him and i feel like im convincing myself id find him attractive but then i wonder if i know hes attractive but am not attracted. but im sexualy attracted to him still but i dont know if im still in love but i want to be desperately but also i wanted attention from other guys before and now i dont want to but i always try to feel how i used to i used to get so excited and fluttery around him and now i dont or maybe i overanalyze the moment but i never feel that anymore but i want to so badly and every time i get a thought that i wont feel that way again i get so sad and stressed. pls guve me advice

I am always anxious and overthinking in my relationship I’m scared that it’s the Lords way of telling me he isn’t the one. I always hear that when you’re with the right person you’ll have peace about it and know that they’re the one.. but that freaks me out because I’m alwaysss overthinking and anxious 😭 I’m scared that he isn’t the one the Lord has for me

Has anyone here stopped taking hormonal birth control pill when in a relationship? How did it affect attraction to partner, sex, and ability to orgasm etc. I just stopped taking the birth control pill for medical reasons but I’m freaking out about how it might impact my sexuality/ attraction

Im worried that I abused him and that’s why he snapped and treated me the way he did. My boyfriend and I met when I was 15 and he was 20. We dated for two years and I told my parents both times about us but he broke up with me both times because he was in love with someone else. They banned me from seeing him because they said he was horrible and a loser but I didn’t believe them so I saw him anwyays. Two years into it he was begging for me to come back even when I had a boyfriend so I broke up w my boyfriend to be with him. He told me that he actually didn’t wanna be in a relationship but eventually we ended up together but I told him that we had to be careful because my parents would break us up if we were together and they found out. He said he wanted to see me so I bought him tickets to seee me but I told him if my parents found out we wouldn’t be able to see eachother. They found out and he broke up with me because he said I made him fall for me all over again just for my parents to not let us be together. He said he would come back if it was meant to be etc… he ended up coming back and I took him back but he would leave and I would beg for him back I would tell him if he got his shit together by not being an alcoholic and gettting a job we could be together but my parents weren’t gonna let us be together untik eh did that and he said it was my fault for leading him on. I ended up taking him back but said we couldn’t be official until he got his drinking under control and he called me abusive I knew I was gonna tell my parents at some point but I wanted to wait until I knew for sure he got his drinking under control or actually got a job or went back to school like he promised he would so I wouldn’t be telling them just for him to break my heart again and then banning him from seeing me forever. My dad had told me before I went to school if I got back together with him before he got his shit together he would make me drop out and force me to come home. I told my bf this and he never really said much about it and at first I said it would be years before we could be together if he didn’t wanan change but I told him that if he got his shit together I would tell my parents and we could be together. He ended up getting his shit together and I said that I would tell my parents. He applied to school and I waited for him to actually start going. He ended up going so I told my parents but first I eventually realized my dad couldn’t actually kick me out of school but I kept it a secret for about three months because I was scared he would break his promise to me again/ cheat on me again . I ended up telling my parents because he said if I wanted to be his girlfriend I would have to go to Florida where he lives and in order to do that I would have to tell my parents cuz his parents disnt want him to date me unless my parents were okay with it. So I told them and they ended up being okay with it. We dated for three months and then broke up with me. Am I the asshole?

Hi everybody I have a quick question. I have been dating for a while and unfortunately we had to break up because of all the fights and troubles. We also had really really nice moments and I am pretty sad it didn't work out. Mostly had something to do with me boyfriends past. I have always been an overthinker, had lots of anxiety and stress etc. But last year was really bad sometimes. Now my question is; I am so scared due to all the stress (alternating with really good moment) causing cancer. Stress was always just 1 or 2 days, so not months on end. But I know stress decreaseds your immunsystem and therefore can cause cancer. I am not looking for reassurance regarding if stress does or does not cause cancer. But what I wanted to know is: is it my fault when eventually I do get cancer due to the stress? It was really a mix of things and the breakup was nobody's fault but it feels so annoying that now I don't have a boyfriend anymore and maybe I get cancer from all the stress... so I am beating myself up for not ending it sooner. There was no physical fight or anything, it just didn't work out and we both know this is for the best. Still I am mad at myself for all the stress I caused myself

I feel like me and my best friend and ending for many reasons but when I talk to her about it she says it’s really all in my head and she doesn’t feel it at all. What is going on??

As soon as I wake up in the morning all I have in my head are these thoughts and it gives me an awful pit in my stomach. My brain tells me ‘you love someone else that you used to speak to’ ‘you want to be with them and not your partner’ the quotes go on. I love my current partner and I want these thoughts gone. I have had enough.

I have been doing really really well for the past year ish. Of course I have some bad days or weeks but overall I feel almost back to pre diagnosis. I have recently gotten in the most incredible relationship I could have never even dreamed of. This has caused my real event ocd to flair up. He often talks about hurting people who have hurt children which as you can imagine triggers my real event. I believe my ex left me bc I told him about my real event bc my non ocd therapist told me I had to while she also told me how horrible I was. I can’t decide if I have to tell my current boyfriend how horrible of a human I am to give him the chance to also dumb me despite the fact that I am not who I was at 6/7 years old… what do I do 😭

Does anyone else’s rocd try to convince them that they have feelings for someone else when really you just love your partner? I hate when my ocd does this.

I’ve been with my partner since November of 2022. In the beginning, we had great times together and I can still say that I truly care about him. However, my feelings for him started to decline a few months after we were dating but I was scared to cut things off because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. With my harm OCD, I would have intrusive thoughts about him, but I know deep inside that I really do care for him, but I’m not sure if I’m in love with him. I’m now trying to figure out if it’s my OCD that’s making me want to break up with him to stop having these intrusive thoughts, or if I genuinely want to. Has anybody else gone through this? Some advice would help!

Hey, all. I’m feeling really terrible right now and feeling utterly alone. So, I’ve been dating this guy for a couple months. He has been so great. He’s treated me well and we have had a lot of fun. However, my mental health got super terrible when we got together. I realized I started experiencing pretty bad ROCD a month in. The doubts about the relationship and the uncertainty got debilitating. But, I was committed to making the best of things and being with him although I was feeling a lot of emotional turmoil. Anyways, I decided to bring up a pretty uncomfortable topic recently with him, regarding our relationship, like any normal couple would do. I asked him if I could call him my boyfriend and it lead to us talking about the relationship in general. He said he really really likes me and wants to continue things with me but doesn’t want a relationship over the summer because he has trouble with long distance, as his last relationship failed when he went long distance. Him telling me this has turned my world upside down. I’m worried everything is ruined and that we have lost everything and I have to move on. I don’t know how to cope with this. All of my friends and family says he is an idiot and is ruining everything. With underlying ROCD, I know my decisions could be seriously biased. My mind is so quick to think everything is ruined. However, in reality, what he said is a big deal. It’s caused so much pain, sadness, and hurt, as I had assumed that he wanted a relationship with me. Anyways, I know how all this sounds but please, if anyone is there, I desperately need someone to talk to. I am not feeling great and am feeling so alone. I want to tell him my feelings but I’m worried I’ll ruin everything.

Today was so nice, I had a girl who I’ve like for so long at my house today and she was hugging me and laid in bed with me. My heart was racing everytime she laid with me. Life didn’t feel real. She made me hard every time she was on me. But then when she left I got the scared thought that what if I don’t really love her and what if I’m gay and bring a guy home one day. What does this mean.

Hi! Looking for some help. I’m struggling with my wedding anniversary coming up in about 2 months. We’ll be married for 10 years. I discovered 6 months ago that my wife had an emotional affair through texts with a mutual friend of very sexual nature. It started on the date of our 5 year anniversary while she was out of town. We sort of have been working through things, but I feel I’m far from over the betrayal. She wants us to go on a date to a place to make our own new wedding rings. To try to reframe the day. Honestly, I don’t want to do this at all. I have intrusive thoughts of it almost every day and hour. I took down all of our wedding photos and removed the date from our Facebook. Compulsions, I guess, but I didn’t want any reminders or triggers over it surrounding me. I haven’t worn my ring in 2 months. I know we’ll have to talk about the day and our plans soon, but I’m overwhelmed by feeling like I’m supposed to reframe this day and just get over it. Right now, I don’t even want to be married. I feel so much anxiety about getting the conversation over with, but fear how she’ll take it, if I’m honest. I don’t know for sure that I have ocd as I’m pretty new here, but I am experiencing severe relationship anxiety. I’m curious if the draw to get the conversation over with is the compulsion I’m looking for to relieve the obsession. The intrusive thoughts seem to get worse, especially in feeling the pressure of the upcoming anniversary

This is the first time I’m posting here but I really need to. Basically, I have known this boy for about 4/5 years now. We usually just talked on snap as we were too shy to meet irl. We were just friends. He did have feelings for me for a long time it I didn’t until recently. I did him really bad as 2 years back, when I got into a relationship. I blocked him out of no where. I know it’s really bad and a messed up thing to do but I was dumb. I hurt him a lot. A year or so later I realised my mistake and reached out to him again with an apology (me and my ex broke up by this time). I helped him get a job with me. So we started working together as well. During this time once again I didn’t have feelings for him. But sometimes he would flirt and stuff. I’m kind of a bitch. A few years ago, and even a few months ago I’ve said a few bad things about him behind his back to other people. Like bad things. Just to give you guys an understanding I’m 18 atm. Old enough to know what’s right and wrong but I still messed up quite a bit Recently, we have started working a lot more and meeting in real life unlike before. And I have caught feelings in the past few weeks. We both confessed. Aren’t official yet as I’m worried about my parents finding out (I’m not allowed to date). I feel really guilty tho. Whenever I talk to him, I remember the past and the things I’ve said about him and just want to confess. I’ve confessed a lot of things already and he’s told me that the past doesn’t matter. But I still feel the need to confess. I know for a fact that my feelings have changed a lot towards him. I feel like I took him for granted in the past and his attention for granted but I really really like him now. I’m started to love him. But these feelings of guilt keep coming in my way. Please help me.