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I was tryna find photos of my spouse. I knew it was around the month of august but i stopped scrolling at november and saw other family pictures so worrying was it innappropriate. Ocd sucks

Going through a tough time. In December, I lost communication with the girl i’m in love with. I made poor decisions and I’ve been beating myself up over them for a long time. Today I saw she found someone new and my heart is hurting so bad. I don’t have a friend to talk to so i’m posting here. I’m just extremely hurting and I feel this is gonna be so heavy on me and i’m not going to be able to move on. I miss her so much and I just have such a heavy chest

I have had pretty bad ROCD these past two years, and I recently went to a couple friends for advice (which my partner was okay with). A guy friend (WHO CLAIMS TO KNOW OF AND UNDERSTANDS OCD??) immediately began asking me if my fears of my partner cheating came from real concerns or not, and he kept asking. He kept saying that it could be intuition.😭 He then also told me it’s okay for people in relationships to have crushes on other people, which both my partner and I heavily disagree with. Like, finding someone attractive is one thing, but a crush???? 😭😭😭 He then continued to tell me ALL people have crushes while in a relationship, including him and his former gf. My OCD went wild, and while some of his advice helped, these points he made were DEVASTATING. Worst part, he claims to know and understand OCD (part of why I went to him for some tips)!!!!!!! So why the hell did he say these awfully triggering things!? Tbh, part of me wonders if he doesn’t believe I have OCD and so he wasn’t handling his advice with as much caution….

I’m going to rant while trying to be as concise as possible. I stopped taking my lexapro a few months ago because I truly felt like I had the coping mechanisms I needed, and I was tired of the vertigo I’d get if I forgot to take my meds for even a day. I got thru withdrawal symptoms and was doing SO well for over a month. Then I was triggered by an event relating to my past- I had a 10 year friendship end terribly in 2022. My OCD was telling me it all all my fault and that I was projecting all of my insecurities on the friendship- I know objectively that both of us were hurt, and both played a role in the friendship. I let the OCD win and compulsively apologized to my ex best friend, taking ALL of the blame for the friendship. I also said i wanted to reconcile, which is not true. She hurt me so bad, and I’ve never had as much peace as I have without her in my life. I only said that in a moment of not seeing the situation for what is truly was. She, however, was fine with me taking all the blame and said I clearly had “more clarity.” This has sent me into a spiral for the past MONTH where all I can think about is this. I feel like I’ve been sucked right back into the past. I’m also graduating in a month and I’m super busy with work right now. Everything has completely piled up and I’m so fucking exhausted. If anyone has compulsively taken all the blame in a situation where both parties are at fault, I’d love to hear your stories to know I’m not alone in this :( I scheduled a psychiatry appointment to get back on meds (not lexapro- I want to try something else because lexapro made me feel so numb). It just feels like no matter what coping mechanisms I do, nothing helps. I’ve tried just letting the thoughts sit without engaging; they persist. I exercise every single day, but all I can think about is this situation. I have regret for A. Reaching out in the first place, B. Taking all of the blame and C. Disrupting her peace by letting a compulsion drive me to reach out. I know that I hurt her as well and I’m disappointed that I let this reopen wounds for both of us. While it would be ideal for us to end on good terms, it’s not possible, and it was impulsive of me to reach out thinking that would be achievable. In her reply she stated that reconciliation was not possible. Throughout my friendship with her I felt as though my feelings were never validated. If I was upset, it was my fault for “misunderstanding her.” If I didn’t communicate being upset, it was my fault for not communicating. Now, I’m upset with myself that I gave power to her after having finally been free from that friendship and all of the pain that it caused me.

Things have been so good lately, haven’t had a worry about anything and have been able to go through my day ignoring all the bad thoughts towards anything that would come in my head, but out of the blue. Aster being here at my boyfriends all day it wanted to do something. I have to go home tonight and to be so honest I really don’t want to. At all. But as I’m sitting here while he’s playing his game my brain is saying “you’re losing feelings for him” when in reality, our one year is in 2 weeks. I’ve been staying at his house frequently the past few weeks. If I was really losing feelings would I want to be with him all the time. No, i need this shit to stop cause it’s gonna ruin something so good.

I've tried accepting being BI. But even THATS not good enough for my ocd. Its telling me that I don't actually love my bf, the one I've been with for almost 4 years now... I feel so numb today, I don't want to ever lose him. I want our romantic spark we have, not for him to just be platonic or whatever. Somehow it convinces me that I'd be better off with a woman :(

I’ve been super sick all the last 5 days and my so-ocd is so overwhelming and intense. Anyone else experience way worse obsessions when they’re sick? Googling about so-ocd to make sure my symptoms still match (of course they will I’ve been dealing with this for 6+ months)/going on Reddit to read people’s similar stories are huge compulsions of mine. I know I shouldn’t be doing it but I feel so anxious and overwhelmed when I do nothing. Needed some encouragement & wanted to see if anyone relates to feeling way worse when they’re sick? Hope everyone is having an ok week!

I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years. Since we were 17. We study at the same university in the same specialty. We think that we started dating on October 30, 2019, on that day I asked him to help me with my studies, and it happened that we got drunk and kissed. And so we consider that day as the beginning of our relationship, because after that we did not part and were always together. A week later we had sex. A week later, on November 12, 2019, my ex-boyfriend wrote to me that he was in town and asked if I wanted to meet him. We broke up a long time ago, but we talked and sometimes even kissed. I told my boyfriend that I was going out with a friend because I was afraid to say that he was my ex. We went out, walked, drank beer, talked while sitting on a bench, and he leaned in to kiss me. I leaned back and we kissed. The kiss was not long, a few seconds. kiss wasn't with passion or something. and at that moment I thought I was doing something wrong, because I seem to have a relationship with my boyfriend, and I stopped. After that, we talked some more, he went home, and I went back to the hostel for students(my boyfriend and I lived in the same hostel). I came to my boyfriend, and did not tell about the kiss, because at that moment I did not feel guilty at all. I don't know, maybe I wasn't sure about relationships, because I've never had a serious relationship before, only some flings, and that's why I thought that my current boyfriend would be the same. And really this kiss mean nothing to me. We continued to relationship with my boyfriend, everything was fine. Then I remembered this incident and felt guilty. 6-7 months after we started dating, I told him about it, I told him in the summer of 2020 when we met, because we hadn't seen each other for 4 months due to the coronavirus and quarantine. I cried a lot and asked for forgiveness, said that this kiss mean nothing. My boyfriend calmed me down and forgave me, we didn't even have an argument, we just continued dating as if nothing had happened. Everything was fine, but after 3 years, in August 2022, I remembered this incident and began to blame myself very much. I considered myself a cheater, unworthy of my boyfriend. I just hated myself. My boyfriend didn't understand, because he didn't think about it at all and didn't understand why I was so worried about it. But the anxiety didn't leave me, later I started having false memories and my OCD. I was thinking "what if there was more than a kiss? what if I forgot something? what if I kissed someone else and my brain erased it from my memory?" and billions of such thoughts. I couldn't eat or sleep, I constantly read about betrayals, I read other people's stories, but I didn't get any better. I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me a course of antidepressants, which I took for 9 months, but it didn't help. Later, I started remembering all the bad things I did in the relationship. I remembered the case when my boyfriend, with whom I had sex (he is not the one with whom I kissed at the beginning of the relationship) (I have only two sexual partners - this guy, let's call him M and my current boyfriend). And this M texted me in the first month of my relationship with my boyfriend, and started mentioning our sex. I don't remember exactly what I wrote back, because I deleted messages a long time ago. But I definitely remember that he mentioned our sex, said how cool it was. I probably also wrote something in this spirit, but only so as not to offend him. I don't know why I didn't send him "f\*ck you", probably because I was 17 years old and I didn't know how to defend my own borders. I started to blame myself for it. Later I remembered that I was sitting on Tinder with my friend and we were having fun. My boyfriend knew about it, I told him and did not hide anything. I didn't texted with anyone, we just have fun and trolling people. But I remember I had the thought "what if my boyfriend is not the love of my life and I find love here". I am also very ashamed of this opinion now. I never hid anything from my boyfriend and told him everything honestly, but now I am ashamed of my stupid actions. Later, I started blaming myself for the fact that I had many boyfriends in the past, and my boyfriend only had one girlfriend, and he still didn't have sex with her. And I had sex before we started date with my bf and I felt very ashamed because of it, I considered myself a wh*re and unworthy of him. I am infinitely ashamed of all the bad deeds and thoughts I had about my boyfriend. I love him infinitely, and I want to spend my whole life with him. But my past stupid actions haunt me and I feel extremely guilty about them. Because of all these thoughts, I went to a psychologist and a psychiatrist for a very long time, I was diagnosed with OCD, because I was constantly worried that I had cheated, that I had done something bad in the relationship, I was constantly looking for some kind of betrayal, I looked in the Google timeline where I was every day, did I definitely not cheat anywhere. It seemed to me that I could not trust myself. I considered myself the worst girl in the world. I constantly confessed to my boyfriend for my every thought and every action, I had to be crystal clear in front of him. My boyfriend asked me to stop it, he said that he doesn't care what I thought and what I did, he knows that I love him and he loves me. And I really never hid anything from him, not a single thought or action. But I am ashamed of it now. I also had a period when I doubted whether I loved my boyfriend. I also told him about it, because I was afraid that I don't love him, so why should he be with me? But he said that he knew that these were only foolish thoughts, and so they really were. I think I don't deserve my boyfriend, because he is the most perfect person in this world. He is responsive, kind, intelligent, cheerful, loving, understanding. And I am constantly in doubt, constantly on the negative side, and I feel that I will constantly blame myself for those actions for the rest of my life. Later everything was good and i thought i don't have OCD at all. But no... Now I've been working at my first serious job for 2.5 months. I have a mentor who helps me with my work. I always had thoughts when I sit close to a person "what if we kiss and if something happens" but I didn't attach importance to them, I just tried to avoid situations where I can sit close to a man. and one day my mentor sat next to me and we tried to solve the problem (I work in IT). I started having very strong obsessive thoughts. "what if we kiss? what if he gets close to me now and it happens? it will definitely happen. i think i want it too. i want him to kiss me. what about my boyfriend? can i cheat on him right now? if he the kissed me I wouldn't push him away. now I'm going to kiss him myself. What if I put my hand on his and it will be like in the movie. Wtf? would I betray him if the mentor himself kissed me? I think I want him to kiss me. if there were all the circumstances, would I cheat? and the answer was yes" . This thoughts very scary me. Thought that i might cheat on my bf. And now, I can't get over it. I don't communicate with my mentor except for work. the truth is that I really like the look of it. I have never had such thoughts before that I CAN CHEAT. I was always 100% confident in myself. and when this thought came and I asked myself "could I cheat if he kissed me, would I kiss him back?" and the answer was yes and it just drives me crazy. This thoughts was 5 seconds. now I'm afraid that I could betray at that moment. I don't know what should i do. I really could betray my boyfriend? Or it is just intrusive thoughts? I feel like i already kiss him. I am tired of this thoughts. I know that I don't love my colleague, this is intrusive but it makes me feel like a cheater. I said about this thoughts to my partner. He said to me that i should calm down and it is just a thoughts. For almost 2 years now, my life revolves around the word "cheating". me and my boyfriend, who knows all about it, can't stand all my thoughts anymore. it is really very hard, and I know how hard it is for him to be with me, a person who is always negative and feels a constant sense of guilt. i have been scrolling through this situation for 3 weeks now. I can't shake the feeling that I might betray. I feel like I already did. I don't know if I would do it. I feel like a cheater because I thought I could do this. Please, help me, is it ocd or i just cheater and might to cheat? Sorry for my bad english and thanks for your opinion

OCD hasn’t affected me in about a year heavily. before that for about 6/7 months it made my life living hell. i absolutely hated everything and myself. i felt rock bottom and it was absolutely horrible. i struggled with false memory ocd and real event ocd and relationship OCD horribly. absolutely terribly. and then out of no where it got better? it didn’t affect me for so long? throughout that time i was obsessing over the fact it wasn’t affecting me at the stage, i’d always be thinking “does that mean false memories are true. and all the real events my brain twisted are true?” it was a living nightmare. aside from that it didn’t fully affect me. until now me and my Ex dated for 2 years. we are both 17. we brokeup due to some personal reasons. this happened 2 days ago. ever since then my brain has been bouncing off the walls. thinking about all these “what if this happened” “what if she’s breaking up because of something else” “what if” “what if” thinking about if she hates me ect. ( it was a non hostile breakup, it was very sad though, she ended it with me) and i can’t stop thinking all these what ifs, and i always feel like something really bad is going to happen to me. i always feel claustrophobic. i always feel like i’m going to panic. i miss her so much and i’m going through so much pain. my brain doesn’t stop and i can’t enjoy anything i do because it reminds me of her or i start thinking of her. i’m so lost and no matter how much support i get. nothing helps. is some of this OCD coming back into play because that’s what i am really scared of. i can’t stop doing things like checking to see if she’s messaged me several several times a day. i keep thinking in my brain what happened. how i can fix it how why when where why. all of that. it’s so overwhelming i’m so distressed i’m so heart broken. i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd. but i have dealt with a therapist specialised in ocd before, and she has said that a lot of what i deal with is related to OCD, i have deal with things in the past that fit into the “check list” of several sub types of ocd. this is also another thing i obsess about. is if i really have it. etc. it drives me insane. i need help.

I'm realizing I'm having a hard time responding to intrusive thoughts from a certain OCD theme I'm having. They relate to obsessing over whether I'm "living right" or "not falling behind" when it comes to dating or having relationships. When I see or hear about another couple I automatically get a lot of anxiety and I think "What if there's something wrong with me and thats why I'm not with anyone right now." or "What if I'm living all wrong." In response to this stress I quickly recount how many dates I've been on or try to recall to myself how many guys I'm talking to or if I think a guy may ask me out or something. Or I compulsively talk to guys (which usually leads me to getting hurt because they're shitty guys anyway.) I'm tired of this cycle and I'm ready to use exposures but I'm unsure how to approach this. Any advice or thoughts?

So rocd keep making me thinking my girlfriend and sick of me, tired, bored and has lost interest. I am resisting my compulsions of talking and asking her about this, facing a lot of anxiety and distress. Two days ago she apologized for being distant and that she feels bad for acting like that and thinks its hurting me. I comforted her. She also said she doesnt know How to express herself Very well and I noticed this even before we started dating. Thing is I didnt say anything to her about my rocd and I always try to look Fine and always try to make she feel better. This made my rocd calm down for a while. It was like a reassurance and now rocd is coming all over again. I fear this because when I listen to rocd I feel extremely depressed and with suicidal thoughts. Last time this happened I started hurting myself and I fear acting out of this and trying to kill myself. Tomorrow I Will talk to my therapist, but I dont know If I Will talk about this, about my girlfriend and us. Sometimes I want to ask my therapist help and sometimes I feel like I am Just deceiving myself into thinking my girlfriend likes me. I dont know what to do.

I have been diagnosed with OCD for about 15 years now. I see a wonderful OCD specialist and she is sure that I have OCD but I just can’t help but wonder if I actually do or it’s something else and I just am lying to fit this description. Most of my life I struggled with contamination/viral fears. A lot of fear around throwing up. And for awhile I was panicked that I could be gay and not know it even though I’m not homophobic and no one would care. And now I am in the most healthy relationship I have ever been in and I obsessively doubt whether he loves me or not or if we’ll fall out of love or now that we’ve moved in together, we’re not compatible maybe or that we’ll end up like roommates and not love each other anymore. These thoughts feel AWFUL and he tries his best to support me but I don’t think he fully believes this is OCD. And that makes me panic and feel like my fears are right and that it’s something more and that I have a creepy obsession with him or that I’m wildly insecure (which is super scary to me idk why). My panic attacks from these thoughts get so bad and I don’t know how not to keep asking him for reassurance and I can tell he’s getting tired. And he goes to therapy with me and knows not to answer my questions so I take his lack of answers as confirmation of my fears and I freak out. We are both just barely over a year sober and he’s working so hard on his own stuff and after I panic about us, I feel extreme guilt that I’m roping him into this when he has bigger things to worry about and maybe I have to break up with him because I’ll hurt him. Then, that thought makes me panic and all I do is research and ask people questions and compare and idk I’m so lost and exhausted. I need help

Hi guys, I’m having another really bad flare up. To start, my fiancee does know about my ROCD, I spilled everything to him once last summer and he was very understanding. But from that point on, I kept what I told him I was anxious about VERY limited because I don’t wanna rub it in. I got a therapist and things got better. Fast forward to Wintertime, he proposes, and it was all SO great. I didn’t have any doubts, and all has been amazing for us. I haven’t had any weird emotions around anything. Then, I started to have a flare up out of NOWHERE somewhere in the middle of the last couple months where all of a sudden I’m doubting him and doubting everything. And I’m feeling a ton of guilt around it, a lot of confusion and pain, and scared that I’m going to get “found out”. And the stresses of wedding planning aren’t helping tbh. Also, so many people decide to share their failed marriage/engagement stories with you when they find out you’re engaged (like wtf???) so that can cause a lot of triggers. My mind goes to “omg am I hearing this because the universe is trying to tell me that my engagement is gonna fail and I’m gonna ruin it all??” And it’s very very disheartening. Obviously as y’all know, it comes and goes. So I had a few days where it was gone and I was so happy and content and confident in us, and then out of nowhere he asked me if I had ever had any doubts. And I lied and said no (I didn’t know what to do or say and all my emotions started to feel like I was on fire and I just lied to avoid talking about it) and I asked him if he had doubts, he said “omg never! I know you’re the one!” Which, okay. Trigger. Anyways, he tells me that he heard me talking about how I was super overwhelmed while dress shopping and he interpreted that as “it sounded like you were having reservations about getting married”. Idk where he got that from because I didn’t have a flare up while dress shopping at all, I was just sad I didn’t find THE dress. Anyways, I lied again, and said I hadn’t felt reserved about anything. So, now that he’s mentioned that twice and I’ve lied both times, I feel guilt and I feel like I’m keeping something from him. I feel like he knows I’m lying but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if telling him is going to do anything aside from making me not feel guilty anymore. I’m afraid he wouldn’t understand and would wanna break up or something. There’s a big part of me that feels like he wouldn’t be upset and would understand but idk, I’m scared. Should I tell him what I’m feeling or should I keep it all to myself? It’s just so hard. I’m so tired of feeling this way.

I’ve been drowning lately, and in addition, my father passed away. Everything is coming back, it’s like my therapy has been reversed to day one. All the thoughts are back, and the guilt accompanies them. The real events tied to the theme haunt me and swallow me up in guilt. I feel evil, and my partner of several years deserves to know what I’ve done. But, if she knew, it would be the end of our relationship. I know this for a fact. My actions as both a teenager and young adult are enough to ensure that. If it was just the intrusive thoughts, I could cope. But the real guilt, it thickens around my bones as rigid as mud in the Red River Valley.

Im going crazy, my brain wants me to be morally perfect. I cant have bad thoughts otherwise im afraid i will send out some bad energy to people I broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years and my ocd is hyperfixating on him, everything I do is connected to him and i’m so afraid Also its solar eclipse and that’s stressing me out because of all the energy Also there are a lot of small things going wrong And im just freaking out, my ocd is going through the roof i cant stop it, im afraid of everything Im punishing myself, i cant say certain words of i cant say thing I want to say, i cant do things i want to do, i want to cry but my tears are not coming

i have a very giving but emotionally draining mom. all of my siblings have struggled with her. when she came up to visit me, she had told me that she feels that my current boyfriend “isn’t the one for me.” meanwhile she knows barely anything about my life, my relationship, etc. she fell in love with my dad and that was the only relationship she’s had. she expects my relationship to be like one in a romance novel, when in reality me and my bf both struggle mentally. regardless of that, we still love each other beyond words and are extremely healthy considering the cards we’ve been dealt. ever since she’s shared her unwarranted opinion, i’ve had obsessive thoughts that she has a “motherly instinct” and that me and my bf aren’t meant to be. i’m so young, and if that were to be true, i always like finding things out on my own. i’m happy and content, and i wish she hadn’t said that, because now that consumes my thoughts. she’s a huge ally which helps with my SO-OCD, but after her saying she doesn’t think me and my bf will last, i wonder if she pictures me with the same sex. i don’t want to be with a girl, but what if that’s her instinct. i now worry that when i have SO-OCD triggers, that those girls are the ones my mom can see me with. it’s disturbing and unwanted.

I have had an unhealthy obsession with my private instructor for French horn for about two years. I know that I don’t love him romantically but my thoughts will tell me that no one could ever love someone this much without it being romantic. I have never told him how I feel because that would be super weird and I know he does not like talking about personal stuff with his students. I am pretty sure he has an idea of how I feel but I am scared that he thinks that I have a crush on him. I think the biggest problem with this obsession is that everything he does, whether it is directed towards me or not, whether it is something big or insignificant, it affects my emotional well being even though I do not want it to. I hate that he has so much control over me. If he laughs at a joke that I am not a part of my brain tells me that he hates me and he does not find me funny and never will. If he talks to someone I know he hates then I want to protect him by telling that person to go away or else I will hurt them. If he says something and his tone is even slightly different from usual then I think he hates me and he is just lying to me when he compliments me to make me feel better because he pities me. If he cancels a lesson because of something he can not reschedule I assume he is coming up with an excuse to avoid me because I am a bad person and he does not want to be around someone like me. If I do not see him on a day I expect to see him on then I will totally fall apart and will obsess even more over him until I see him next. This has happened with other platonic relationships in the past, but they have never been this extreme or lasted more than a few months. Soon I will leave to go to college and I am afraid that if I do not get to stay on my schedule of seeing him Tuesdays and Wednesdays then I will attempt like I have before. It is just so draining and I wish I knew why my brain chose him and why I can not stop thinking these things.

My first post here. Background: I’m a 29 year old child therapist with autism, anxiety, & OCD. Finally felt brave enough to navigate dating for the 1st time & within 2 weeks developed ROCD. Was getting to know an amazing guy. He’s been nothing but kind, has autism, & is also a Christian like me. I’ve had the most horrible intrusive thoughts about him. In the past week, I’ve had 2 days where I didn’t sleep for over 24 hours. I experienced paranoia & felt so disconnected. Last night, I had a reoccurring intrusive thought that he’s a narcissist or has antisocial personality disorder. I didn’t sleep and cancelled our date and ended things. Such self-sabotage but I literally couldn’t go because I hadn’t slept all night. I’m so sad because I couldn’t last more than 2.5 months. He’s confused and thankfully he’s open to talking but I’m not sure how to let him now about my ROCD. My fear is that he’ll be understanding (and I know he will be which makes me sad) and my OCD will tell me that he’s doing that to manipulate me or do something bad to me. I want to be his friend SO badly but I’m scared. Is being is friend the exposure? Idk what to do??? Any advice or kind words are appreciated ☹️

So someone I know has just been through a major life event thats change then massively. They told me personally and I will never ever tell anyone their business if they don’t want anyone to know, that’s our secret. But we broke up and people have asked why, so I’ve never told them what happened in their personal life or what they went through or what the event was, I always said it was just their personal life they went through something and I will always understand why right now isn’t the time for us, but now I’m scared this is me starting rumours! I haven’t told them an event, I haven’t told them what’s happened, I’ve just said it’s their life and personal to them is all. It’s not my stuff to talk about, I can’t share someone’s secrets, that’s not right. But when people wanna know why we’ve broken up it was a mutual decision because they’ve been through a rough time! Is that right to say? Or wrong? Because I’m shouting at myself that’s it’s bad right now, it’s not starting rumours nobody knows expect my closest friends that it’s a personal something for him. No details, no need to share that, it’s not my business yk. But the reason is because he’s not ready, he’s changed, that’s it. I feel wrong for saying that now. Ugh my brain always shouts at me

it consumes me and I am scared to even type this. All I do Is going on reddit and read articles..even when my partner is sleeping next to me. But there are so many signs this isn't Rocd and the relationship is just dying which makes me so sad to think about. This is my longest relationship I've ever had and we still have loving moments but being with him kicks my anxiety into overdrive. 1. I have loss my desire to have sex and now sex makes me extremely anxious..I'm not as turned on as I use to be as well. We use to have an amazing sex life and I craved it all the time until ROCD came...is this normal I would like to blame ROCD as I had a very high sex drive before these awful doubts attacked me 2. I criqitue, overanalyze, and obsess over every little thing he does. Any slight tone of voice or expression has be jumping to the worst conclusions and it makes me so anxious to hangout with him 3. I'm feeling way less loving. Yesterday when he first came over we laid on the coach and looked into each others eyes saying how much we loved each other and it was amazing. But as the day went on the romance began to slip away. 4. I feel annoyed by him way more often...I do become irritable towards anyone when I spend a lot of time in my head though These just all sound like signs of a dying relationship but I love him (typing this made me feel unsure) and we've always worked so well together. I miss being able to spend time with him without feeling like every little thing was a test and critiquing him in my head. I want to be able to love him for him again with all of his flaws included. Everytime I bring up an issue he is so understanding and makes an effort and I know he is a good healthy partner. I just want this to end.