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if so, at what point? and how much do you explain? are there sources you like to use that might explain to them what it actually is?

I have a question here. And i have a dillema here. My partner whenever i feel down or get worse threatens to leave me. She puts all the responsobility of the relatioship on me and i am kind of able to manage, but i just have strong distrust towards her that when it will get worse for me she will again threaten to leave. I understand that being with me is not easy, but how to feel safe in the repationships when your partner cares only about me making her happy, and when you are down and fighting with chronic condition and need supoort she makes demands and threatens to leave you ? Everything is good only when all my partners needs are met, i kind of feel this is one sided, and i am kind of sure that it's not coming from ROCD but it fuels it quite a bit.

(cw: intrusive thoughts about sexual assault, incest, pretty long paragraph) For a while it seems like I've developed a new obsession, in the past my OCD revolved around me hurting other ppl and being a terrible person, but now it has switched and what I'm obsessing about is being hurt by others. In the first case i had the cpmfort to know that i was the one that controlled what i do and what I don't, but with this i have no control over, i can never guess when someone might think about hurting me, and it seems this obsession has latched onto an specific person: my younger brother. For context, my brother is 16, and he's a very physically affective person, likes to hug, likes to annoy others, while on the other hand I'm very touch repulsed, i like hugs and whatnot but on a much lesser measure, and whenever i pushed him away bc i was uncomfortable i think he believed that he was just annoying me, but recently there's been a series of events that have escalated this situation and i have no one but my own paranoia to blame. These last few days I've experimente very bad episodes of panic that caused me to go sleep with my mom bc i didn't feel safe in my room, and now i feel bad bc i feel like my brother might have catched that, and this week we all left to stay at my sister's home while she was away, during our stay (my brother decided to leave before us after two days) i talked with my mom about how i wamted my brother to leave behind some games of his and to understand that he wasn't just annoying me but making me uncomfortable, she talked with him and told him that i just didnt like being touched and i believe he understood, but that same night while he was playing around the house he asked (and i hope he was saying it jokingly) "are you scared of me" to which i responded with another joke (something like "the only thing i fear about you is your bad breath") but now i can't stop thinking about that... Today i arrived home to pick up some stuff before i had to leave again, and i saw that the door connecting our rooms (which has a whole where the knob should go) had a plastic sheet taped on top of it on my side, i asked my brother if he did to which he said no, but told me to leave it there (it turned out that my grandpa had put it there bc he was scared my brother's friends could spy on me... Even though that has never happened) i told my brother i considered taking it off bc i felt it was unnecessary, ( i know I'm paranoid and I don't want anything else feeding into it) to which he denied, even after i told him it didnt bother me not to have it, he insisted it was so that i could keep my lights on without them bothering him, then i told him that there's still cracks between the door and the frame where the lights sneaks in and he just dismissed me and told me to leave it there... I know all of this sounds redundant, but i dont know what to do, or who to talk to, i don't want my brother to feel like i fear him or think badly of him, he already deals with feeling pushed aside and neglected by other family members, i don't want to fuel that, I'm older than him, i should know better... How can i deescalate this? Am i just overthinking everything?

I would really appreciate someone’s outlook on this. I have crippling ROCD and I have had an obsession over a certain thought that just won’t leave me alone- weird thoughts about an attractive co worker. and then they get in a relationship with someone and I was relieved at first because I was like great I won’t have weird thoughts now but now I’m having intrusive thoughts that I’m jealous of her and that should have been me etc etc and it makes me so sick because I am in the best relationship I have ever been in and I know I will have to confess these thoughts to him later but I’m just like why am I like this I have these thoughts that are saying I want the attention or something from this guy which I do not

So one night my bfs mom got super drunk and as we walked in the door late at night she started to tell me that he hurt her feelings, I curiously asked “oh well what did he do?”. She then said “he know what he did he knows” I again asked, “what did he do?”. She then told me “because we were at Dave and busters and he told me I wasn’t his favorite anymore”. I played along thinking it was a joke “oh baby you don’t need to say that stuff to your mom, that’s not nice at all” he then said confused “wait that’s not even what I meant, I said my favorite person wasn’t here”. (Because in this particular setting I was not present). She then starts crying and hugging and holding him tight and saying “we’re not gonna have the same relationship we once had, your not my special boy anymore, I’m ok to give you to her, I know we will never have the same relationship” so for 30 minutes all I heard straight was basically those phrases in various ways. Rearranged and all, and then at the end of it I felt like I wasn’t giving her the validation she needed so she said to top it off “and whatever girl you end up marrying will be so thankful your a wonderful man”. All because of one look. It was very intense for me considering when someone accuses you of taking something from them and it happens to be a person nonetheless that really triggered me. Partly because I just didn’t understand what was going on but you have to put yourself in my position, I’m already afraid of not fitting in. This family’s a lot different than mine, but ontop of that I have the worry that if we do good in this relationship she looses or if we don’t do good I loose. It was just an extreme amount of pressure. And when explaining how I felt it did not get recognized the way it needed to be. This mom also surrounds herself in his life and speed dials all his friends and plays mommy of the year constantly. But he’s 23 still at home, and at this moment having a talk with his parents about us. We’ve been fighting a lot recently after I cheated on him. Yes I cheated on him 3 weeks ago, I’ve been insanely insecure and taking everything out on him. It’s not right I just felt as though I didn’t deserve him after that. So I created more chaos. More and more, till he finally told his parents we were fighting, even showed them the messages we exchanged. Weird right?, yea he’s a weirdo with his parents, part of the reason I tried cheating to escape. But ahaha we all know that after you cheat you don’t want anything but the person you cheated on, you fight day in and day out for that validation that was taken and it’s just miserable. I’ve been kinda of making myself miserable lately and I don’t have friends to talk to. Anyway after that I was called a player, he hasn’t been able to hang out with me, he’s been cut off from family money, he’s crumbling. He’s talking to his parents right now and I’m just kinda here waiting for a response. I don’t expect it to go well, and after this we might be done. I wanted to say my peace and maybe help someone or get some advice on it. And he had to leave my house just last night around 2 o clock to give back the car so the police wouldn’t get called. He’s 23 I’m 19 almost 20.

What can I do so I would not be thinking my partner's past sexual experiences while we are having a moment? That is really frustrating and makes me sad and disgusted that my partner has done this before with other people and felt nice. I also have sexual past before him so I feel like hypocrite. I don't wanna be thinking these things because they dont matter and I know the present only matters and our deep love. It just ruins my mood too many times a day almost. It helps to know that others are experiencing this too so I'm not alone and these are just thoughts.

My OCD is really latching onto my husband this week. I’m so in love with him and can’t wait to grow old with him and see him grow and change throughout the years, but my SOOCD has latched onto him saying that I don’t want that. I feel sick about it. It makes me so sad. He’s everything to me, and makes me feel so loved. When I am having a bad day, knowing that we’ll be together at the end of it on the couch, drinking tea, and snuggling is what makes me feel better. Knowing that he’ll be next to me in bed that night makes me feel better. But my OCD says so many nasty things. Just trying not to follow the OCD noise and hold onto what I value most.

Hey guys, I’m really struggling with real event ocd with something I did 3 years ago, to do with relationships. I cannot shake this guilt feeling and urge to fess up and tell my partner everything. My therapist has told me not too as apparently it’s reinforcing the cycle. But I feel unworthy and like I’m keeping this huge secret (which I never was worried about before until recently). Over the past few weeks confessing has made me feel relief but then I find something else really bad in my past to dwell over. Anyone got any advice how to move past this or get over it? If so I’d really appreciate it, thank you!

18+ pls reply yesterday i was trying to fantasise about my girlfriend and i enjoyed it mentally but physically down there i didn’t feel anything? but when i get intrusive thoughts i do? and i’m confused because then it’s like am i not attracted to her? i get thoughts saying im not turned on during thoughts of my gf and its stressing me out is this ocd or is it not????

Hello everyone, I’ve just gotten broken up with by my boyfriend 2 days ago after 6 months. For some background, he was extremely busy with very personal issues on top of getting his PhD. He simply couldn’t give the relationship the time/effort he wanted. On top of that, I had realized that there were a lot of obsessions involved with this relationship on my end, so I put a lot of emotional energy into it. That being said, the actual breakup was very sudden to me because he did not indicate to me (verbally) that this had been on his mind for weeks before this. We had ceven bought each other Christmas gifts just days earlier at a local market. Now, my obsessions would relate many things to him or our relationship (songs, movies, etc), which I was aware of and in the process of working on not doing this to be more independent. I never shared this with him and did a lot to not let it affect our relationship. Now, after the breakup, I am consistently being triggered because I never truly got to surpass these obsessions, and also because we interact almost daily at work (I know what you’re thinking, bad move). I know a lot of these thoughts and feelings will pass with time since it’s only been a few days, but I was wondering if anyone has had a scenario like this for specific advice or just anyone’s advice in general? I’m working on writing my masters thesis and I want to do my absolute best work, but this scenario is making it extremely difficult to focus while at work. Thank you.

my therapist suggested that some of my less bad rocd intrusive thoughts are actually mine, and not intrusive. She ended up taking it back when she saw the alarm on my face and saw how panicked I got. I feel really freaking anxious. We were only talking about it because I mentioned a lot of doubt surrounding those less bad ones, but it only filled me with more doubt. I don’t want those thoughts to be mine. I really don’t. I feel scared and so discouraged after this session. I feel scared about the worst thoughts, what if those aren’t intrusive. I feel so much doubt.

He won't use condoms due to ED, so I started taking birth control for him. He also refused to give oral until i let him inside me which was weird to me. Anyways, I went to his home at the weekend and it was very messy, tiny room, unclean. It annoyed me that he felt comfortable inviting me, knowing how tidy and spotless my house is, and it took me a few hours to get there on public transport. (I understand that rent is pricey and he travels a lot, but a toilet seat missing). He drives 5 hours to see me on some weekends but my place is always to a standard. Next thing, he always wants to be on top of me but it hurts me and he won't keep trying different positions, and says things like "I give up" then walks off to a different room and won't speak because I won't do it how he wants. I didn't wanna be in his house not speaking so I stayed with family last night. Am I out of order for leaving? first we had the protection issue, now the position issue plus his attitude. Makes me feel like im in the wrong for not letting him have what he wants after 5 months of talking and meeting. I thought once I started taking BC this would solve our problem but now it just feels like pressure, and he also says "you know what I'm doing" like I have some sort of game plan, when I would literally be happy kissing and touching because I love him. I can't figure out why he's so desperate for it, wouldn't he want to make me feel comfortable? This was the first time with him in his city, and he didn't wanna go out anywhere, not even to dinner. I don't ask for much

When it comes to soocd exposures, that sometimes means engaging in triggering things like sex and intimacy with my partner, but I worry that I am sometimes also being compulsive like wanting to be intimate to see how it makes me feel, check my feelings, sensations, emotions etc. and then at that point how can I really do the exposure? Idk I’ve just been struggling so much with this theme lately. I feel like a fraud most of the time and the thoughts convince me I am deeply in denial, constant loop.

So I’m scared I lost feelings for my girlfriend of almost 9 months and I feel like it’s my mind overthinking and anxiety. I talked to her about it and I started crying to her because I don’t wanna break up with her. I care about her being a good person and all and just making sure she’s okay but I don’t wanna lose feelings and I would do anything to get them back. I had the biggest crush on her and seeing her with other guys before we dated even broke my heart for weeks. I wanna live a life with her but it hurts because I think I lost feelings.

I just ended my 2 year relationship with an amazing guy because my intrusive thoughts wouldn’t stop. I started Prozac 9 days ago and the first few days, I felt great and all the original love I had for my partner came flushing back. The next few days I started becoming anxious and today I had to leave work because I could not stop ruminating. When I initially broke up with him I felt a split second of relief, but now I am having the same feelings that I was having before and I don’t know what to do.

Idk how to explain how I am feeling right now. It’s like I’m almost better. Like I need to just get over this last hill and I feel like I’ll be back to me. However, I’m confused. I’m normal but like not? I have this heavy-ish feeling surrounding me 24/7. I can have conversations, I can live my life and somehow be me but then I have this cloud over me saying I’m a lesbian and I am lying to everyone and my fiancé. I just want to be my normal happy self again without feeling this weird weight. I feel like this is my new normal and I’m upset. I also feel like I’m forcing myself to do compulsions so I can still convince myself this is ocd and not the real thing. I’m feeling so low. I want to be happy again.

Yesterday I went to bowling with friends and I noticed a teen girl, and I'm very afraid that what I felt could have been a feeling of attraction, or was it just the impression of what she actually looked like? It wasnt like she had revealing clothes or things like that, and even if she was that would be on me, but i think she had an exposed back, and it was from afar and it happened in a very brief instant, so maybe it could be that before recognizing the young age my brain might have reacted to the "look" of what my eyes saw before fully elaborating everything, and when I did I got immediately triggered and identified the trigger. I don't know. I didn't like it, and I don't want it. If I visualise it now I know I'm not into it and that I don't like it. I'm afraid that for an instant I might have felt an impulsive independent feeling of attraction to what I saw, then realised what happened or identified the subject age and got triggered and bothered. But that would not make what happened the moment before any less true. It all happened so fast I don't know. I tried to compulsively check again what I saw trying to understand, but there were more triggers in that direction so I just stopped. After that I immediately felt depressed and I was silent and emotionless the whole evening and my friends were buzzing me trying to cheer me up asking me why I was like this. I just wanted to go home, it was too much for me, I wished that I never had come. There was a waiting list of 1 hour, so we went outside, after 1 hour had passed we went inside again, and I was hoping to see the trigger again to try to understand what I felt and hopefully gain the answer that it was a misunderstanding from my part, but it was gone. I didn't have the opportunity to fix it. I just prayed that it was just OCD. Then after a few hours I forgot abt it and shelved the memory of what happened, and played with my friends, but the whole time I just wanted to go home to ruminate and try to understand and fix what happened. I don't know. I feel so depressed, this morning whenever I woke up I just tried to go to sleep because I wasn't ready to face the reality of what might have happened. Whatever it happened, it felt "real" and what I'm afraid it might have happened feels like that too. I feel so depressed because the same evening before going out I had watched Arcane season 2 on Netflix and there was this episode 7 which was beautiful and I experienced happiness seeing a couple dancing and it felt so pure and beautiful and I was hoping to to feel that type of love one day too. I don't think I deserve to feel such thing after what happened yesterday. I don't think I deserve to experience something like love, I'm stained. I'm not worthy. I'm crying as I write this.

TW: incest, convincing yourself of feelings/trauma and assault, and unhealthy attachment, obsessions on a loved one that cause distress. For years I've struggled with intrusive thoughts regarding relationships. I never paid them any mind, but it always worried me that I didn't actually love my partner. I feel so happy with her, but I worry that I am lying to myself. This is where it gets ridiculous, so please no judgement. I began dating her during the summer, it is long-distance and online, but we make plans to one day be able to meet and be together in real life. Randomly, throughout conversations, I would get reminded of emojis or words my dad would use in text. I don't know why that would happen, but I tired to ignore it and just focus on talking to her. However, as time went by I began to fear my brain because at first I feared that my dad had innappropritate feelings or intentions with me. Whenever he'd touch me, I'd smack his hands away and avoid it as much as I could. But then, I somehow convinced myself that the fear was because deep-down I actually wanted him to touch me/feel things for me. The thoughts got so bad that I became bedridden, but the worst part is that I worry about doing something I'll regret. I have spoken to him about it and he told me that it was simple "father-daughter" relationship, but I still have that nagging voice in there telling me I wish it was more. I began to question myself and my morals and what made me, me. Whenever something romantic comes up, I think of my dad instead of my girlfriend and it makes me so uncomfortable and cry. Whenever something reminds me of him, I tell myself it's because I think of him romantically. I even have those weird thoughts about marrying him or being in a relationship with him. They make me so uncomfortable, but it's so hard to ignore them. I feel like I'm lying to myself and that I'm just defending myself by posting this, but I can't take it anymore. It's driving me insane. For context: My dad and I have a very close relationship and I love hanging out with him. He makes me feel seen and understood as much as he can. He doesn't judge me and he helps me when I'm stressed. However, I'm beginning to think that the amount of support he gave me damaged me and caused me to latch onto him unhealthily. I feel bad for wanting to spend time with him, but I can't just not be around him because even then the thoughts don't stop. I feel like a monster and I want to just focus on my girlfriend and be happy, but part of me worries that I'll become obsessed with her too and never be able to be independent. I made the mistake of looking up Limerence and convincing myself I have that for my father. It's so strange because I don't not see him sexually or want to be with him that way, but it's the romantic connection that's puzzling me. I hardly see anyone talking about it. How did I convince myself of this? I ruminated and it's making my life living hell. I worry that one day, if I manage to push these thoughts away, they'll become reality and I won't be in control of them anymore. Another piece of context: I haven't been in a romantic relationship in-person in many years. The last one I had was in highschool and I am in college now. It's hard to accept that I may have mistaken my father's parental love for that of romantic interest. I just feel disgusting and it makes me nauseous to think about it, but I can't stop. I know I'm into women. I hardly have any attraction to men except celebrities and fictional characters. I want this relationship with my girlfriend and she knows what I struggle with. I just can't deal with this anymore. It's gotten to the point of wishing I could take my brain out. I'm scared. Please, help.

Before I was diagnosed with OCD, I would constantly figure out why something triggered me. I don’t know if this is like bad for OCD but it usually calmed me down enough to where it would practically go away fully. I’ve been in the worst spiral of my life for about two months now. There’s certain thoughts I cannot sit down and think of triggers because it simply makes them worse. However, there are thoughts where I notice that they pop up around the same repetitive trigger. For example: inappropriately grabbing my mom would flash before my eyes when I would playfully reach for her. This happened so many times over the last several weeks and I kinda had an “aha” moment a few minutes ago. It’s basically like an extra barrier, an extra warning. The last thing I want to do is make my mom uncomfortable and whenever I grab for her, the worst case scenario appears. As a form of *remember this could happen, stay away.* Maybe this all sounds obvious and if it does, I’m sorry. Essentially, I would also feel like I almost did it, ofc it did, all I saw in that moment was the worst case scenario. The urge I feel to do it was a compulsion to test if I would even get close to considering it. I don’t actively think of it, it feels like my ADHD brain kinda solves the puzzle and throws out the answer at a random moment. I don’t know, maybe this all harms me more but in my experience understanding why certain things trigger me (not why the thought is there, figuring that out makes me worse, I keep a generic broad idea: it’s probably the opposite of me *shrug*) have helped me a ton. I’m still hypervigilant and I’m working on just refocusing my attention to the present but I wanted to share for any opinions or advice. I’m still very new at handling this and learning since I was only recently diagnosed so please take all of this with a grain of salt. The last thing I would want to do is make anyone worse. So any thoughts?

My ex therapist said I was probably a lesbian if I had these thoughts, she never diagnosed me with ocd even if I was so obsessed with being sick that I used to go every day to the hospital for years. I was so obsessed with not loving my ex boyfriend, my mom, my Friends that I used to cry every day and Watch their pictures all the time to see if I loved Them. I Changed therapist and She immediately diagnosed me with ocd. But i'm scared to go to therapy now, because of my ex therapist. What If the second One is wrong and First was right? What If they can see things about myself I can't see yet. I'm terrified. I don't want to talk about myself anymore to anyone.