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Do you ever have interactions with people and fear that during the interaction you may have cheated on your partner and can't seem to recall it? Sometimes when interacting with people I fear I cheated on my spouse with them afterwards. Mainly fearing I've kissed them and somehow instantly forgot. Just wanna know how common this specific fear may be

I think I’ve officially lost it today. I have completely convinced myself that I’m not actually in love with my partner. That I’m only with him for comfort. I struggle with trying to “feel” love. In past relationships where I’m sure I didn’t actually love them I idolized a version of them, it was an intense all consuming passion. With my boyfriend now it’s not like that and I think my obsession is also keeping it away. I met him on a blind date. It wasn’t until our 3rd date and first kiss did I feel something and even during the dating I was obsessing if he was going to be good to me or not. At not one point during our relationship was I ever at peace or simply enjoying it. I feel something guilty about this. He has flaws and I amplified them as proof we are not right for each other. I hyper fixate on feeling of past relationships and if I feel for him those feelings. He is a wonderful person who doesn’t deserve this, I’m scared of working on myself too because what if I get better and then “yep I still feel the same” then I’d have to leave him and that also sucks. My hurt on leaving him is the only thing keeping me tethered honestly because the thought of him being out there in the world and I not being able to talk with him kills me. I don’t know what love is anymore or what I’m supposed to feel. I’m so ashamed of myself, I’m crying in the bathroom stall at work feeling like I need to break up with him because it’s the right thing to do.

non explicit nsfw +18 i had a thought like "i should have never doubted that my lover is attracted to me" and for some reason it triggered me, i cant really explain it, but it made me feel like i have done/thought bad things when it comes to our sex life. like, it has happened that at times when they would tell me no i would feel a bit disappointed cus i really enjoy being intimate, but they told me many many many times ( since it's an obsession of mine and i asked for reassurance ) that i never treated them badly or made them feel hurt or obligated when it comes to intimacy. they would break up with me and not want me around in the slightest if I did. I still feel really worried even if I didn't hurt them, but im afraid that i have thought bad things or was toxic about it. idk

from the moment i wake up to the time i fall back asleep, my thoughts will not go a second without thinking about the same few topics. every second of every day for the past year i cannot stop thinking about my boyfriend. and no, not like "la dee da he's so cute!" no. it's the same thoughts of debating my feelings for him, convincing myself that im a lesbian but won't admit it to myself, convincing myself that i don't actually love him i just love the idea of a relationship with him. im disgusted with him but im passing it off as just i dont like that single flaw and thats fine. i can't stop. it's a broken record. my head is just a broken record. and for MULTIPLE YEARS pretty much since my ADHD diagnosis in middle school (i'm graduating this year) i haven't stopped thinking about mental health. relating every single thing in my life to the fact im neurodivergent. asking myself over and over if a thought i had or an action i made means im this personality, i have this mental disorder, because i have this traumatic memory that's influencing my choice. all day, every day, every second, multiple years. these thoughts are just constantly in my head. i want it to stop. i'm so tired of it. so absolutely exhausted. it's not even the compulsions or the anxiety, i just want the thoughts to end. all i could ask for, the thing i would give the world for, is to go a day without obsessively thinking these thoughts. to be able to experience a trigger but not be triggered. to be able to kiss my boyfriend goodbye and have my head move on to another topic for thought completely. to be able to hear a mental health topic be mentioned and not have the urge to explain every aspect of that topic, nor think about it for hours on end. be able to see random people on the street and accidentally make eye contact with them but not have to obsessively think of what their life is like, what they think of me, that they know i'm obsessively thinking about them and they hate me for that. i want to be able to see my ex friend around school whom im upset at the way things ended but not obsessively think about her and be disgusted and scared about those thoughts and her every move. i sound like a freak, i sound like i belong in a straitjacket, i know. i hate it too. so fucking much. i'm freaked out by myself, i know that if i were to share these thoughts at a podium i would be reported on the news and likely arrested because everyone around is terrified and will assume i will ever act. but i just want this to stop. i'm so desperately waiting for my next doctors appointment to ask for an up dose on my lexapro.

I was on a walk outside and I saw a guy also on a walk and thought he seemed cool/attractive. Then I got super anxious and started wondering if he would be a better match for me than my boyfriend who doesn’t go on walks or do outdoor activities frequently. Is this rocd or is this me deep down doubting if he’s the right guy for me/not wanting to be with him? I really can’t tell and it’s causing me a lot of distress bc I do love him, but I know you can love someone and they can still be the wrong person for you or not the right fit long term and I’m trying to distinguish if I’m in denial of that or if it’s just my anxiety attacking my relationship with him. Any advice?

i saw my ex yesterday unexpectedly on the bus on the way home and it triggered me, we stopped talking abruptly and it didn’t end well, i felt immediately guilty for feeling like that and i told my boyfriend. today i thought about it too and felt this strange unsettling feeling, i feel guilty even thinking about it, i just want to stop thinking and ruminating, i was like “what if i wanna go back with him? why do i keep thinking this?” and i felt horrible, i just want some rest, what do you suggest? does it happen to you too?

Currently I have several different OCD fears that pop up throughout the week depending on the situation. I've noticed a commonality between all of them are the fears relating to memory/false memory. Today is the ROCD struggle I've been dealing with. I know OCD has been trying this on me lately because of how much I love my spouse. They are my absolute best friend and she's my world. I value our marriage and friendship more than anything. OCD has latched onto one specific female coworker. And I don't even know why because even if I were single I wouldn't be into her. Even still, OCD makes me think I've cheated on my wife every time I'm alone with this coworker at work. Always starts as a what if, followed by imagery, followed by feelings that I must've actually done something and can't remember it. Usually fearing I've kissed her. It hurts because I know I'd never do that to my wife and I love her so much...the idea of losing her kills me, especially if it were the result of something I did. Just wanted to vent. Feel free to share your experiences or vents as well

hi guys haven’t posted here in awhile but i’ve fully recovered and have a really good life now lots of friends enjoying school and have a really loving boyfriend who helped me out of my ocd even if he didn’t know he was helping me (just through being loved and supported i felt happy enough to recover) hope u guys can recover too i had severe ocd and basically got better within 2 months by myself :)

I’m having what I think is my first ROCD full episode. I’ve had doubting thoughts the entirety of my relationship. But in the last couple of days have been overwhelmed with and debilitated by anxiety and the feeling that I need to break up with my boyfriend. I don’t know if I have OCD officially but talking to therapists it seems that it is likely and I’m going to an OCD specialist next week to talk through my feelings but I feel completely helpless and hopeless at the moment and riddled with anxiety. I’m in a long distance relationship. I seem to have a waves throughout the day when I want to communicate with my boyfriend and tell him I love him etc. but the other 80% of my day is filled with anxiety and dread that I’m going to have to break up with him. I just want the anxiety to go away and to know if my thoughts are real thoughts or OCD thoughts. My biggest fear is that this isn’t an OCD episode and I do need to break up with him. I’m seeing him this weekend and I’m filled with dread about feeling disconnected and anxious and not in love.

I started having intrusive thoughts about my sexuality when I got into a relationship with my ex and I wondered if it would seemingly go away but it hasn’t and I find myself ruminating about it constantly especially before or during my period. Has anyone else felt with this?

Does anybody else struggle with the fact, knowing that their boyfriend used to watch porn and makes it you feel jealous or super insecure about yourself? It’s weird because I knew my first boyfriend watched porn before we met and it never really bothered me and now I’m on my second boyfriend and he told me he watched porn and had an addiction about two years ago and is clean but for some reason, this just bothers me and makes me super insecure Way more than my first boyfriend. And I understand that he did two years ago, but the fact imagining him pleasuring himself to another girl and the fact that it’s a girl that has stuff that I don’t have just makes me feel super insecure about my own body, even though this was almost 3 years ago. I just don’t understand why all of a sudden I feel this way because anytime he mentions something like a girl popped up on Instagram. I automatically think oh like this is something he likes like he probably wishes I look like her or just the simple fact of knowing that it accidentally pops up and he sees it and then I hear about it and I just automatically like shut down and I get super insecure and have the time I don’t even want him to like, touch my body because I feel so insecure, knowing the fact that I don’t look like these Instagram girls that randomly just pop up. And it’s crazy because I never cared or thought this way but once I started dating my current boyfriend, I just can’t stop thinking about not being good enough because I don’t look like an Instagram model.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.

Can anyone validate my feelings/felt the same way. I overthink a lot about my relationship, but I especially worry my boyfriend will randomly change behaviors and become toxic. He’s never had toxic behaviors but I worry at some point in our relationship he could possibly change, and it consumes me sometimes.

How the hell do I tell this to my therapist?! So like I said about shape-sifting fictional characters like Pennywise sometimes when they’re male I get attracted to them by their charm for example bob gray aka Pennywise in It. Idk if you know the IT lore but IT the creature is supposed to be female or so they say but the clown bob gray is male. Which triggers my ocd cause I don’t want to be attracted to a female character now my intrusive thoughts is like oh I can’t handle it I wish I was dead like Georgie. I may have to get rid of everything I have that deals with this movie cause it triggered a thought I thought I would never have. I haven’t even watched the movie but when everyone started talking about it again cause a new series is coming up the thought just keeps coming back😭 SOS

i feel like i hate my friend and that i want to stop being friends with her. it feels like i desire it or get relief when i think about unfriending everyone. it makes me feel awful because this came out of nowhere and i have no reasoning for this because they’re all really nice to me. there’s not any red flags or anything. it feels like i want to send a message ending the friendships i have and i don’t know what to do.. everytime i talk to them now i get reminded of all of this and feel so guilty. i don’t even know if this is ocd or not because i haven’t even been diagnosed. idk what to do :( it hurts even more because when i think about if i would regret it, i don’t think i would..

I have this coworker she goes on different dates every week adn she 24. We were talking about a thirs co-worker because she looks sad and I was like "maybe her partner broke up with her". My coworker was like bro if that hapens to me and im 29/30 I'll just take a sick leave for at least a week. and I was like common, its not that bad! and she goes like bro imagine your bf breaking up with you. An guys when I tell you it felt like I wouldnt feel a thing I am not exagerationg which made my body freeze. So I was like yeah that would suck and it would be bad for a bit but ill move on eventually! And shes like "girl I dont think you're in love haha". First of all wtf common who are you to tell me that secondly I was sooooo triggered!! and the thing that triggered me even more is being triggered and scared because according to a tiktok of madeleine argy "if it scared you then it must be true, people arent afraid of things that arent true". ughhhh i hate this!!! I just wanted ti be normal!! what do you guys think?

How did you cope with your ROCD when you first moved in with you SO? Did it get worse when you first moved in together and then subside? My rocd was doing pretty good for a while but over the weekend my boyfriend and I moved in together and it’s been great but now my rocd is starting to get really bad again. I don’t know if this is normal rocd things when you first move in together or something else. I just keep having the looping thought of “I don’t really love him” I’ve been trying to say maybe I do, maybe I don’t. I’ve even just full on agreed with it and said yeah your right I don’t but it gives me anxiety that I’m not getting anxiety from that. I have no idea if this is normal. Sorry for kinda ranting on but I just need advice from couples who lives together.

Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean I’m gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I won’t be in a relationship. I won’t look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.

The things that used to make me happy? The things that used to make me sad? I don't know how to connect with those anymore. I used to be happy just looking at the sunset and nature, I loved being present in the moment but now being present in the moment is scary because now I'm faced with my thoughts and new potential ones so I'd rather distract myself. I love kballads and I used to listen to them and just cry and be happy because they sound so beautiful but now I can't embrace these things that feel like beauty because I feel like the exact opposite. The only things I can enjoy are K-drama's! But I can't watch things with kids in it. So yah that's tricky! And the things that make me sad?! Well I used to be sad and terrified about loosing my loved ones but now it's a different kind of sad. I used to be sad because of miss them and all that but now I'm scared of facing now messed up my emotions have become. I'm scared of loosing someone I love and then not being able to feel sad because I'm just numb, or even worse...if it becomes something I'm okay with or what if OCD convinces me that I'm happy about it because honestly it would be weird moving around the world with such emotions. So not only has OCD made it hard for me to enjoy the good things but also hard for me to feel sad about the sad things or just to put it short...to experience emotions normally.

I have been struggling today, most likely due to lack of sleep. I had a thought that I would consider intrusive, but what really unsettled me was that I felt like I liked it, **not just in the sense that I lacked anxiety over it, but that I genuinely felt like I wanted it.** It left me feeling really confused. It happened during intimacy, which makes it even more unsettling. The thought was incestuous, I found myself imagining and comparing the moment with my boyfriend to my father :/, and what really alarms me is that I felt like I wanted it there, both mentally and physically. I was having a really nice time, so maybe the physical sensations got mixed in somehow, but it still worries me. I did my best not to ruminate in the moment and avoided checking. I tried to move on, but the feeling of genuinely liking the thought was so clear that it is hard to shake off. Has anyone else experienced something similar? This is one of the first times it has ever happened to this extent.