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Has OCD ever kicked in whenever you felt God’s presence? I felt like it’s been this way for me many times. I could get peaceful and then thoughts could come into my head and I wouldn’t like it at all. Can OCD do this?

Everything seems soo sad like life was so beautiful as a small child then i turned into a teen saw the horrors of life and got stuck in that black hole ever since, 21 years old and stuck in the hole, i found meditation helps and staying away from drugs and alcohol. They say the brain declines as you age, the thoughts of war and prisons, death, and the way the human brain is so delicate scares me, i know i cant handle drugs and alcohol anymore, ive had enough relapses, oh man you guys should have seen how it took a toll on my mental health i looked like a complete schizophrenic when these things were going on, for whatever reason my brain stopped agreeing with those substances and every time i used i would experience violent images or voices in my head severe paranoia and just put in this disturbing place. COCAINE I don’t plan on going back. I just fear for myself, u know how Jesus had a life of happiness and then one day out of the blue he was beaten till the point of being unrecognizable and tortured on a cross, i feel like that, like the world is stressful and the end point is death, Sure momentarily i can have hope for the time being, ive been sober a long time now, life throws its swings, life punches and kicks, they say even Jesus was put in prison a few times leading up to that, i often wonder why the world is so cruel i mean look around you war in Hamas war in Ukraine, our troops gather and shoot and kill for fun, i overheard a sergeant telling the troops, “you will eat sleep and breath fire” , the fallen nature of man, We kill other animals to feel pleasure upon our tongues, our families grow old and die, Our presidents love to commit mass murder, its a war every day for them, the world leaders control everything and steal our money we earn all so we can dwell on their land, this life is stressful y’all, its the sad reality of life, i work on my mental health and i work for this and that all to have it tooken away from me, man you get sick all a sudden and have the flue or a worse disease like covid, i know a man who used to body build so dedicated to squatting and building his legs, few years pass and he ends up paralyzed from the waste down due to a accident at work, Our years we have are short, we were given life, make the best of it while u can, Go out to eat, go spend time with your family, express your feelings to them, Go shopping, go travel, go do something that makes you happy in a healthy way. Is there anyone who feels like me, If heaven is real i want to be there this world is miserable. Crazy to think dinosaurs dwelled here on this earth before us, Crazy to think we live somewhere in the middle of outer space, you read the letters on the screen and you feel the emotion to it, so many different languages, so divine this creation is, i do have some good times dont get me wrong, i just hate having harm ocd false memory ocd, i just hate the ending of the story, the twists and turns, you know i wish everything could be peaceful for everything that lives on this earth but as i said, its just not, right now as you read thousands of Americans are in solitary confinement in prison, with just their thoughts, no human interaction, then u have some president at the top of the world vacationing while he sends thousands of troops to destroy a city in hopes of solving his problems, I feel no freedom as an american, you can make a mistake at any point in time and then your thrown away into a cell with no books no pens just pissy floors with a bed that smells like piss, just you and your thoughts all alone, looking out that little window, even for small crime. Best to avoid all things that lead to crime now obviously, its just like, i have a family you know and i just seen to many of them die in ways that weren’t the best cancer dementia, car crash, and they leave us behind, one thing that gives me hope is “The story of garabandal “ Or things like nde experiences where people get pronounced dead for 30 minutes to an hour and they say they are floating out side of their body and they could see their body being operated on from above the table and all the sudden a light being comes and takes them to heaven and gives them life reviews and a message to take back to earth idk there is thousands of testimonies like this , some people have these experiences and say they even have seen hell, idk I do believe in God i just feel kind of lost in this world. I seek peace and love, thats all, when will the world ever know what peace and love is, are these things only possible in “heaven “. I cant wait to go. Idk Something created all this mess. I think i just want happiness, just everything i see happening on the day to day rips a black hole in my chest . Anyone feel this way ?

I am a Catholic Christian, and something that has been stressing me out today is the topic of the Final Judgement. One of my OCD fears is cheating on my boyfriend and now I’m having crazy thoughts like “what if I cheated on him, and then on judgement day God judges me for it, and then me and him are eternally separated?”. I’m also really afraid to get married (the fear comes and goes) because I am afraid I will let my OCD sabotage it. I’m afraid I’ll let the shame and guilt get to me and I’ll confess to things I did not do. Ugh. Does any of this make sense?

I’ve had it a lot lately. Exhausted. Makes me depressed bc I doubt everything exists and I’m like great. I will be abandoned by people I love bc I have no certainty with the things around me and including in myself. It’s like I no longer know the truth bc I don’t trust myself with all the ocd stuff 😭. Def makes me feel like everything is an illusion and I refuse to believe that as I desire to be a Christian. Not into the whole new age stuff and it breaks my heart that my mind is taking me to those places and I want to understand God but all this pushes me away bc I feel so out of my mind.

Hi guys! I believe I have an OCD since I was around 12. I remember then I had a lot of intrusive thoughts about religious things and I had a counting compulsion (I thought that If I don't count to 8 in specific moments, someone gets hurt) During later years it was really changing - I stopped being religious, so the OCD theme also stopped. Then I had I reckon SOCD, harm OCD and many others. But for know my main topic is ROCD. But because of the fact that this is my main intrusive thoughts topic I start to have this awful thoughts that this is not OCD, I'm just with the wrong person and I need to accept this fact. This is really struggling for me, because i really love my bf and Im in the healthy realtionship but Im so tired of having this kind of thoughts, sometimes I cannot sleep because of them. Also the fact that I've never been diagnosed (I cannot go on theraphy right now unfortunately) is another trigger because I have thoughts that I dont really have OCD, I just making this up, because I cannot accept the truth. Is there someone with similar experiance? Or maybe someone who can have advice for me?

Hello im an 15 yr old boy and i think i have hocd. I think i got it because of the Bohemian rhapsody movie(this is so random sorry). But yea i know to myself that i am not gay and I'm not attracted to men, And my whole life that i only have romantic feelings to women and i already have a gf, i love her so much to the point that i dont want to leave her and have children with her and marry her, and go to heaven together. but after watching that movie i got scared because i didnt know freddie was bisexual and i was shocked.And thats when it started i got scared i ask myself am i gay or not i simply answered that im not gay but i was so scared that im in denial can someone please help me i prayed and prayed and talked to God. And i cant stop crying please help me i want this to end and i want to be normal again. And i dont really want to lose my gf.

I keep having this reoccurring feeling that I don’t actually believe in god. Sometimes I feel numb towards. I’ve just deal with so much because of religious ocd and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want this feeling though. And I’m worried it’s real and that it means something. It’s like I worry that I don’t actually believe in god because I’m not freaking out about going to hell anymore. I wish I had my old relationship with Jesus back.

Hi everyone. I’ve been having religious OCD for the past 4 months now. I’ve always been a Christian but it wasn’t until this year I truly gave myself to the Lord. I was so on fire. Getting amazing signs and healing from Him. He really changed my heart and desires! I love them! But the last couple months this OCD hit hard with obsession over scary thoughts & feelings. I started having thoughts about God existence & Jesus. It hurt so much and I’m really trying everyday to move forward but recently I feel like I have a rejection mindset. Like beating myself up over these thoughts and feeling like Gods left me sometimes or I’m not worthy of His love or me having these thoughts of doubts & unbelief was the last straw. I’ve been so attacked lately with this OCD. It’s scaring me. Sometimes it feels like it’s coming from me. I felt like I woke up in total disbelief. I just woke up feeling so numb and questioning life. Doubting everything and I get OCD is a doubting disease but dang. I don’t want to doubt God & Jesus. I look back at my experiences and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t. It makes me feel like God is mad at me or will leave me. I’m constantly checking myself, my feelings, my thoughts and even if I’ll “act on this thought”! Deep down I know it’s not true because God is love but does anyone have any advice on how to move forward with these thoughts of rejection? To have a better mindset of believing & receiving Gods Love, Grace and Promises.

Does anyone else’s harm ocd mix in demons and wondering if they are possessed or taunted by demons? It feels like this at times although I’ve chosen to accept that it’s not up to me to deliver me- but the power of God to see me through this. All I can do is take steps with ERP and my therapist. It feels like I have harm, scrupulously, and fear of losing control all rolled into 1 theme at times. I try to figure out what I did to cause all of this and why God is allowing this to happen😢

Jesus Christ bled and died on a cross, offering you and me an option. A gift. Forgiveness, reconciliation with God and eternal life. You and I don’t have to accept Christ. We don’t have to respond to His love positively. We can be apathetic, and ignore Him and even outright reject Him. Or we can choose to trust in Him. I’m asking you , isn’t it time for you to move beyond alternative options?—to Christ? Because there are really big problems with every one of those options. Isn’t it time to put your trust and your faith in Jesus Christ? Because the evidence is He really does love you. He really is a good God. Give Him a chance. Read the Gospels. Examine Him carefully. And then based on the evidence of His trustworthiness put your faith in Him. God bless you as you make this most important decision.

I can’t stop returning to actualized.org (Spiritual forum) I’ve been trying so hard to convince myself that this place is a cult for years, but my brain won’t stop latching onto the ideology that is constantly spread there about solipsism being the absolute truth. I’ve gotten stuck to death on so many things related to spirituality/new age/non duality shit for years, but this shit VASTLY takes the cake no contest. Panic, fear, confusion, dp/dr, never being able to trust my senses, never being able to function, always ruminating, fear of other people being illusory, fear of reality in general being an utter lie/delusion/fiction/hallucination/dream as so many of these fucking websites/accounts/channels constantly proselytize and assert as being the absolute fucking ultimate truth. There being no self, no other, no biology, time, space matter. Consciousness simply pretending/imagining that reality even exists. Oneness, individuality being a literal delusion. None of this is actually happening, other people being figments of consciousness. Pure fucking agony. I feel endlessly isolated damn near 24/7/365 because of all this shit. I abhor every fucking spiritual teacher. I hate the internet. I hate my brain. I hate everything. Fuck Leo Gura. Fuck teal swan. Fuck Rupert spira. Fuck mooji. Fuck Adyashanti. Fuck YouTube. Fuck google. Fuck Reddit. Fuck open individualism. Fuck all philosophy. It is so fucking hard for me to not feel like suicide is the only way out of this shit. I am shaking. It doesn’t matter how much effort I put into staying way from such shit online or in books, it doesn’t matter. Fuck the miserable pointless delusion called life.

I used to struggle with salvation OCD. While I haven't dealt with that in several years, I do struggle with other fears that may be OCD related? Mostly they have to do with vocation and wondering if I'm sinning by living in a nice house and working a regular job and not in a 3rd world country somewhere as a missionary. I recently decided to apply to graduate school but worry that it's sinful and selfish because I won't be serving other people or ministering in that capacity. I also have fears of God calling me to go somewhere I don't want to go....for instance, the other day I had a sudden and urgent feeling that God wanted me to move to LA to minister....I haven't stopped thinking about it and am terrified that He might ask me to move there. I don't want to at all. But then I feel ashamed and guilty for being unwilling. Could that be a form of religious OCD? Whenever I try to research Scrupulosity all I get are results relating to salvation OCD. I don't struggle with that so much anymore. But I do often wonder if these present fears are a subtype of the subtype. Does anybody else experience this? And what exposures are helpful?

I have religious OCD as well as other themes one thing that has been bothering me is woth my intrusive thoughts I have them about people I love my mind will blurt thoughts put like God can (take) someone I love and other things worded different like this and it freaks me out and the only way I can calm down is I have to say out loud I'll never mean those thoughts or i rebuke those thoughts and I am terrified that if I don't say that i don't mean those thoughts that God will make those thoughts come true and take someone I love and if i dont say it out loud that i dont mean those thought that god will beleive it when my mind says he can take someone i love and so since I'm scared I have those all day every day so I'm constantly saying I don't mean the thoughts just so God knows i don't mean them and also I try to tell myself God will know they ain't true if I don't say outloud that i don't mean them but then my mind is lime well of you don't say it out loud then what if you really do mean the thoughts and "you really do mean the thoughts so say outloud that you don't so God won't make the thoughts come true" and it's so terrifying i literally pray every night and ask God to never make my thoughts come true but I'm so scared he will still believe my thoughts one day and make them come true and or punish me for anything really and make the thoughts come true so what I'm asking is does anyone know if God would ever take someone you love if you mind asked and said for him to because my mind blurts those thoughts like that and and I try keeping my mind from finishing those thoughts but they keeps happening and I get scared also that I'll truly mean it when I think for him to take someone i love and then get scared he will from me truly meaning it when my mind thinks it like it's got me freaking out and has been going on for few years now that same thing over and over i just woukd love to know for sure God won't ever take anyone because my mind said to even if my mind meant it I just want to know meaning it or not would like to know God would never take anyone for my mind saying to or wanting him to And the way I woreded that I don't want him to but my mind is like what if one day you do want him to i know that's OCD but I just wanted to clarify that God wouldn't take someone from you if you said to him he could wether your truly meant it or not that God wouldn't do that I just need help on this and no one with OCD doesn't understand

TW - religious and social issues I'm just venting. Besides, people won't understand, so I'm not asking anyone to read, but if you wish to I won't stop you. Don't try to understand too hard, because again, you probably won't. (Nobody has in the last few years) I just don't know what to do. Every time I bring up a few particular things I'm upset about -- things that are more than simply OCD (which is a pain to try to talk about when you have OCD) -- people try to disagree with me; and sure there's no problem in disagreement, but they bring it up every time I talk about it without fail and it's so frustrating, especially since they don't seem to understand why I'm really bringing it up or what I'm trying to say and they keep talking about it as if they understand. Then people are hypocrital about it, arguing against me, but when we aren't talking about it I hear them and others say all the time the exact same thing I'm upset about. It's so frustrating! And I don't really feel like they understand me or want to listen to me. It's gotten to the point that whenever I journal about it or pray about it or even just think about it, my mind automatically assumes the defensive position and makes my thought process be as if I was arguing about it and trying to explain what I'm saying, I guess because nobody listens. This has been an absolute nightmare, I can't find any way to explain it, and people don't seem to want to hear the explanation anyway, on top of the fact that these things are soul-crushingly depressing. On top of that, these are really obscure feelings and thoughts that I really feel like I'm the only one to have. (Nobody, not even others with OCD, have seemed to understand them.) The only solution I can really see is to just keep it to myself. I've learned more about it when I stopped talking to people than when I was. And hearing people suggest that "talking about your feelings is the right way to go" doesn't help. And I often feel like maybe I'm ALL WRONG about how I feel others are reacting, but every time I see the same pattern and then it just comes right back to me.

I can't tell if it's my intuition or ocd at this point. I'm praying to God not to let these voices/fears manifest into reality. I'm so scared, I feel miserable

I couldnt celebrate this Christmas fully, i wanted to really be thankful that Jesus came to this world to save us, yet i found myself questioning what was the purpose of that, cause i didnt know why, i started questioning whats the reason of all of this, why God made us if He knew that we will betray Him, why we have to suffer because of Adam and i felt angry because its unfair. I still didnt found the answer to this yet now i realized what can be behind this. Maybe its not that and after i deal with this feeling that its not fair we are here cause of Adam and Eve will still be here. But i know the problem is that i feel shame that its the part of me that i can betray God. That its in me to think that i can be better than God. We christians just normally say that we are sinful creatures and bad people but this just makes me have a really bad relationship with myself. When i try to understand something i always feel like im trying to be in Gods place, like im trying to be like Him. And this "we are bad and sinful" just makes me feel bad and i want to say its not true but thats the truth. And yeah Jesus died for us but that still makes me feel bad that im sinful, and then im angry cause i didnt choose this, noone did, i didnt choose to eat that fruit from the three... its just makes me feel that its unfair. I dont really understand the story of Adam and Eve.

I’m having a pretty bad relapse on my ocd and I feel insane. It makes me think I’ll ruin my relationship or that I’m disappointing God. Sometimes with the repeated thoughts and nightmares for a week or two and then being fine next , does this insinuate bipolar???

Does anyone here struggle with faith? How do you manage it?

It’s going to be two weeks since this OCD flare or episode or however you call it started. I miss who I was before this, the one who did ERP and took medicine and got to see a glimpse of what a “normal” life looks like. I am a gift giver and would be so excited about Christmas and wrap gifts for my nieces and nephews, I forgot to buy gifts this year. I’m trying my best to stay present. I stopped going to church, this episode has been so bad it brought me to church again. Seeking comfort. I did so much mental checking that I had no anxiety and started crying that I didn’t have anxiety. Of course mental checking will backfire. I hate that I’m putting my family through this. I’m so thankful for their support, but I feel so incompetent. I just graduated college after struggling 7 years and feel like interacting with society is too much. I’ve done it before but I’m just scared what if this time it’s different? I miss who I was before this OCD episode.

I've had repated religious intrusive thoughts especially the last 3 days,they get worse when I get out of confession(I'm catholic)..I have constant fear that these intrusive thoughts will turn into mortal sin and I'm scared if I should take communion at church or not..I've spent a long time without taking communion..but taking it relieves my thoughts a lot, but I'm still scared..I feel like my intrusive thoughts will make me go crazy or smth