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the NOCD Community

it’s so embarrassing doing compulsions in front of people. like i literally NEED to do them or i can’t function. one of my compulsions is praying so sometimes it seems like i be talking to myself. anyone else relate to this?

I am a Christian and OCD is coming at me currently about my faith. I am not perfect and no one is. I get that but I keep getting the thought of “if you have sex outside of marriage again you’re going to hell, you will melt down and you’re going to be alone” I think I can just keep from doing it until I get married but I am 35 single mom of 2 and that could never happen or be forever so I start freaking out about that.

I’ve noticed an overwhelming amount (in a good way!) of believers on this community and I had no idea I would come across so many faith filled sisters and brothers in Christ. I have followed some of you for hope and encouragement but if you come across my post and you’re a Christian I’d love to give each other a follow ❤️ maybe I can share encouragement everyday as well. Thank you guys for being brave and giving me the courage to express my faith. I’ve been really struggling with ERP as a Christian but I almost feel like all the times I’ve done mediation with the Lord that in an way that was an exposure because I was allowing the Lord to confront things with me. I think I’m struggling with not wanting scripture to be a “compulsion”. If we say things like “I may or may not” but then speak scripture over our lives. And I said like actually … no I am the head and not the tail. Hope this makes sense.

I started NOCD about 3 weeks ago. I was going good and hopeful for a while but the last 3 days. Loss of appetite. Overwhelming fear and anxiety. Different subtypes going crazy. Harm. Religious. I’m scared my dogs will get parvo from a rescue we briefly had. My friend is in the hospital and I can’t get myself to go see him. I have very few people I can be around to talk because the rest give me that feeling of dread and idk why. I’m spiraling in the thought of why are the meds working suddenly. I don’t want to feel this way forever. Im afraid to take naps. I worry I have something wrong health wise.

I feel like my body and mind are just so tired of being stuck in these same mental loops of torment with OCD and don’t know how to do anything else. I feel exhausted from not being able to cure myself out of these thoughts and self-destructive habits and that I’m not going to make it out of them because I’ve been tied down to this illness for so long. I wish things could have been different growing up and I took care of myself better so I wouldn’t have gotten so negative and loved myself more so these thoughts wouldn’t be so potent. I’ve had OCD most of my life, and I just don’t get how other people can live their lives normally and not suffer so heavily. I get really mad knowing I’m stuck in this vicious cycle and other people can enjoy life so easily. And now the summer is coming and it’s when I get the most depressed and feel so helpless from sadness, and my OCD has only just gotten worse. I feel like I just don’t have the energy to take care of myself anymore, and hate how anxious I am about actually telling people what’s going on with me in fear of judgment and not accepting me, so I just go along with self-sabotaging habits. I’m also afraid that nobody is going to want to help me. This only makes things worse, and it’s really hard for me to be happy. I just don’t know how to cope anymore. It makes it so hard to function as a human since I’ve been struggling for so long. I feel so disconnected from God because of this illness, and it only makes me more upset with myself for lack of effort and feel depressed. Please if someone is struggling with something similar or has advice, reach out ❤️

First I would like to say is that tw and I also can’t afford a therapist and please give me advice I have no peace in my mind I just want to be a normal person again. Since 2022 I have been getting filthy unwanted sexual thoughts towards children I feel awful about it because it goes against my morals and characters as a human being. I feel like a horrible person and I feel like I have no rest in my mind, everyday it’s the same thoughts that torment me and I happens all hours of the day there’s not an hour that goes by the day that I don’t get these ugly horrible thoughts. I recently started getting “feelings” down there and I hate it. These thoughts came back again stronger this February. I also believe in Christ so if you have advice of how I can pray against this because I don’t really know what’s the root of these thoughts. As long as I have these thoughts I can never be free these thoughts have put me back into a state of depression and well as suicidal thoughts I just feel like I’m living hell on earth I am also 17 years old female, so please someone help me. I have tried praying against these thoughts but nothing, I have tried deliverance prayers worship etc but nothing. — I also tagged Christian ocd for advice !!

Im scared of what’s gonna happen when I die like im so uncertain and I get BAD panic attacks about what’s gonna happen to me like I get these thoughts like if my gonna live forever, like is just a forever loop or is just gonna be nothing. Im catholic and I believe in heaven or hell but im really not sure. I’ve struggled with my faith since I’ve been 13 and it’s getting worse, I’ve heard about all these theories about what’s gonna happen after we die and I always get so scared about them. One time my aunt told me that we are souls, spirits that we are energy and just being in our body having an experience but our souls are immortal so im scared about the thought of living forever that scares me so much because at the same time I want to have peace. There’s other things that really really give me panic attacks about that subject but I can’t list them all here if you want to help me out then I’ll tell you more.

Today I’ve been having that a lot lately! Recently been having Satan/demon heart thoughts and it’s scaring me! I love God & Jesus and I tell them all the time they have my heart but recently those thoughts have come and it’s giving me anxiety! I’m trying to tell myself you don’t just accidentally let S____ in your heart but I feel like it’s a fear of evil or it “happening”! I don’t want Him near or ever in my heart! But I feel like my OCD is making me doubt myself thinking I want these thoughts or maybe I want that or what IF I’ve already done it! Like some new theme coming on. These nasty thoughts keep coming back!! Also my mind keeps thinking and questioning it straight up accusing me if I did it! I’ve apologized and beg God & Jesus to please forgive me. How can I let these thoughts go! I don’t want them! Am I okay? I only want God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit in my heart NOT the enemy. Has anyone else had these thoughts?

Lately I’ve been having demonic thoughts, possession thoughts and just nasty thoughts about my soul and thoughts about my heart and the devil. Is that normal in OCD? I would never want that or say that! But recently been having false memory OCD and I’m scared what if I’ve said those thoughts out loud!! I’m always trying to say God & Jesus owns my heart & soul but I’m scared what I’ve I accidentally said the enemy instead! These thoughts cause so much discomfort! Please any advice? Does anyone else go through this?

How do I even talk about this to ANYONE, I feel so shameful especially because why do the most horrendous images or saying pop up in my head. Just because of incident that happened @ a young age between my cousin and I, I keep telling myself I’m a P and I can’t get close to the little kids especially the ones I know because it starts attacking them. I keep fearing gods judgment like these are sinister thoughts, i NEVER wanted. I feel like this is going to follow me through death and I’ll be punished.

I am new to this. I recently was reading the Bible and then had a horrible blasphemous thought and it was vile and intrusive. It hasn’t gone away and now I’m questioning whether I will go to heaven or not if God will forgive me. I cried and cried and I kept repeating numbers in my head or stating different colors in my head. I asked God to help me but the thoughts won’t go away like it’s cutting me and I keep seeing the scar. I didn’t do good at work because I keep getting sweaty from guilt I tired to be more productive than usual so I wouldn’t think but then would stutter over my words bc the thoughts wouldn’t let me breathe. Then at home I tried to drown myself in alcohol only to end in a fight with my husband. And none of this is in chronological order because I feel dumb just writing all this. The most important thing is I know I Love God , Jesus and the Holy Spirt. I just want to feel better and not feel like a complete monster 😔😢

I'm sick and tired of hearing this bs from religious individuals, and before y'all give me shit abt it I'M religious. I've had ocd and one of the most difficult parts of it has been trying to accept these thoughts. The most effective form for me has been treating them with full acceptance and instead of saying "maybe it could happen" saying "yes it will totally happen" and it's sucked bc obviously I don't want any of it to happen. I am not going to magically become a felon because I wrote acceptance of my intrusive thoughts on a paper or think of them with more acceptance than I did then. My mom keeps telling me other wise bc of some bs that happened to my dad w his car bc he told her "my car almost broke down" and then it did and she was all like "SEE, HE DECLARED IT" like bitch if you don't STFU RIGHT TF NOW UGH

Last night I had such an awful rejection thought! My mind has been coming up with more and more blasphemous thoughts. It was a rejection thought towards Jesus. It was something about “I reject J…… with my heart. I tried to brush it off and apologized to Him last night. I felt like I knew the thought was trying to come but couldn’t stop it. At first I thought “what if I thought that thought?” or sometimes I feel like my mind tells me I “wanted it” which I don’t! It’s like accusing thoughts & feelings! The more I thought about it I was telling myself this isn’t me! Obviously I started to have doubts. This morning I started freaking out because I’ve had this thought before, it was about God about a week ago. It scared me! I woke up this morning crying asking for forgiveness about last night! It breaks my heart to have that thought! I cried. I’m still scared! I need & want them forever! Am I okay? Are they still with me? I love them so much and it hurts to have these thoughts! I would never say that thought out loud but it still hurts my heart. Will they forgive me and be with me?! Any advice to move forward? I’ve been struggling hard.

What advice would you give for someone struggling with religious and relationship ocd? Thank you guys for being here and I’m glad i have a community i can confide in!

Does anyone else get thoughts that just seem evil? I love God & Jesus so much but recently I’ve been having Satan thoughts, devil thoughts and they bother me! Like selling soul, worshipping the enemy, enemy thoughts, thoughts about your heart and stuff. Literally blasphemous thoughts! It bugs me so much and makes me want to cry. I’ve had some thoughts like these before but recently they have gotten so much worse. Please has anyone gone through this? I pray God & Jesus stay with me!

Hi guys, I have recently discovered my OCD and it’s specifically about religion. Recently, I have been upset with God because I haven’t understood why I have these struggles (even though logically I can understand that everyone has different struggles). As a response to this anger and frustration, I’ve gotten some REALLY bad thoughts that go directly against God and that are really hateful to Him. Even though I’m mad I don’t want these thoughts, but I am really struggling to get them under control. I can’t tell whether these thoughts are actually how I feel or not because they are SO extreme. Like how do I process anger without being hateful towards God? Why are these horrible thoughts popping up? If anyone has any advice please let me know. Thank you so much.

hi i’m belinda and i always have really bad intrusive thoughts. always have. im really young so i can’t get the help i need because my parents think therapy is stupid, so im glad i found this app. but i can never get these thoughts out of my head even if i don’t believe them. its so bad, i will never be saying it out loud. sometimes i fear that God won’t forgive me for my intrusive thoughts, even if i can’t control it. i don’t know. can anyone help? 🥲 or does anyone relate?

I’m having difficulty sleeping again. My left arm is hurting and I’m experiencing a slight headache. I can rationalize it out but it’s still keeping me up because I’m scared I will die in my sleep. (My arm hurts because of crocheting for hours on end and my headache is from sinuses) I shouldn’t be scared because I know I’ll go to Heaven. But it’s still keeping me up. I think about death then my son and husband and how they would be devastated. And keeps going… Any tips to help me sleep

Hello, I’m very new to this and have never confessed the fact that I struggle with severe scrupulosity (religion ocd) to anyone before. I am not officially diagnosed but I have spent countless hours researching and know that I am dealing with this horrible mental illness. I can’t function anymore. The intrusive thoughts are getting so bad. The moment I wake up they begin to pop into my head & I can’t even sleep because they are just running all over my mind. The thoughts are so bad that I don’t want to repeat them but they mostly are blasphemous bad thoughts. I avoid praying and religious services because it triggers my bad thoughts. I cannot control anything and I have no access to therapy because I’m so scared to ask for help and don’t know how to even describe to my family what I am going through. It’s so debilitating and I just keep repeating these scripts to myself to try and relieve my mind but it just starts all over again. It’s non stop and I know I cannot keep going like this. I don’t know whats real or isn’t, I just want a break. I’m so scared of everything and it’s interfering with my life more and more. If anyone could share some words of encouragement or tips it would be greatly appreciated.

I just lost my job today again and my parents (who possibly both have OCD) have been super frustrated that I have been let go from so many jobs. My dad said “I’m so tired of this s***” and now hearing that is making me feel worthless. My boss was very mean and had unrealistic expectations and I even prayed about it too. I just feel like a failure honestly. I do have a couple of upcoming interviews, but I just want to give into my compulsions so bad. I am a Christian and believe that God will work things out, but my parents are pissed at the way I continue in jobs. I am trying everything I can, but my parents also seem to control everything and it is frustrating.