- Date posted
- 1y
Everyone on here keeps saying they know they re str8 but the ocd is making them doubt it. I’m breaking down because i dont even know anything anymore so that must mean its not ocd
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Everyone on here keeps saying they know they re str8 but the ocd is making them doubt it. I’m breaking down because i dont even know anything anymore so that must mean its not ocd
I am a woman in a long term relationship of over 5 years with a man who I genuinely love. I have identified as bisexual my whole adult life but I have only ever dated men (just by chance). For months I've been having obsessive thoughts about whether I am actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself- I keep going through temporary periods where I make peace with the worries but it always seems to come back with a vengance. This week the thoughts have been so constant that any quiet moment my brain immediately starts stressing over the possibility. My partner is aware of the thoughts (has has dealt with OCD as well and understands) but I still feel SO guilty because I am happy in my relationship and I don't know why I can't move past the thoughts. I logically know that I am attracted to men and that I find my partner attractive. But I get worried that maybe down the line that will change and things will only get more painful if we needed to separate. I feel like I'm so obsessed with ways things could end that I'm missing all the good that's actually in front of me and it feels so sad and isolating 💔
anyone with hocd have intrusive thoughts that say wife instead of husband? i want a husband so bad but my brain will always use the word wife in place of it. it’s scary bc i’ve been having this thought for so long it feels “natural” now but i know that’s not what i want
Hey guys, I think/hope that this is just ocd and not me but I can’t differentiate. I m dealing with uncertainty „am I a lesbian ?“ since 3 years and it comes with so many anxiety. I have to say that I like lesb cOrN and exactly this stresses me out !!! I ve been dating men for my whole life and one day the thought comes up that I could be lesbian. It comes and goes month to month. When I m in this „episode“ where I m questioning my sexuality i m googling the whole day if this thought could be true. Also I m checking my feelings by visualising myself with a women and it causes so much anxiety. I just don’t know what to do I try to meditate or to calm down but I can’t go on without having this answer :/ Also I m so anxious to „heal“ myself because then the truth will came out ( my brain says it to me). When I m with men I get aroused and everything works but then my brain says to me that it is just because of the fact of having sex yk? Like it tries to convince me that I m a lesbian… Last month I believed in this and outed myself as Bi in front of my friends although I m not really sure that I m into women. I ve never dated a women or felt any kind of attraction that I felt to men, but what if I m just trying to suppress the attraction to them ? Is anyone dealing with the same shit ? Tik tok triggers me everytime that’s why I deleted this app because everyday I get these videos about people coming out as gay after their relationship.
When I look at my bf, I find him very cute etc but sometimes I dont feel anything… which I know is normal because you cant feel everything at every moment in your life… but the thing is everytime I think about us breaking up or him disappearing from my life, I feel like hes the “last” guy im ever gonna be with and then I’ll only be with women. Like whatttt?!?!? Whyyy?!
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Read my Sexual and Gender OCD story →everything about it scares me. it sounds painful, terrifying, traumatizing. I know it sounds dumb but every time i see something that remotely affects me sexually it sends me spiralling and i get this like white knuckled fear. im scared to hug people because what if it turns me on, especially if its a man because what if i accidentally turn HIM on and then he cant control himself and forces himself on me? I hate seeing my body especially my private areas now because im worried about turning myself on and touching myself and make myself feel even grosser, which then other people around me can tell ive done and then they KNOW how gross i am for doing that and start leaving me. i keep seeing other womens stories about sexual trauma and i relate to it but then i feel bad for relating to it because i havent actually been raped or molested so then i feel like a fraud taking other peoples stories and making it about me. everything about sex seems terrible but i keep thinking about it that it feels like my body is broken and i must secretly be some sort of degenerate freak.
Im a Catholic and therfore I have scrupulosity too. Im a man and I cant live with my thoughts regarding sexuality. I find women attractive and I know that is the most normal thing in the world but somehow I dont know when or if it becomes a sin. I cant even look properly around when I am in public because everywhere might be a possibility for sin. I know that I cannot prevent any coincidences but I want those feelings to stop. Is there anything I can do?
hello all im a male 26 kinda new to dealing with this. for as long as i can remember i used to really stress out about my health and if i was ever sick i would assume the worst ang google symptoms of everything multiple times a day. i was extremely afraid of throwing up as a kid which i think plays a roll in ocd recently i watched a tv show that affected my overthinking and cause me to spiral out. thats when the SOOCD started to happen, growing up i always was with women and dated women and still dating women i never had these thoughts until 6 months ago i now feel uncomfortable around other men, i dont like to make eye contact and im always checking for a groinal response or sensation in my body when i watch tv or out in public. its affecting my daily life and i dont know where it all came from. i get intrusive thought daily could be a made up situation or a image of something i saw on the internet.
I always come back to watching straight then gay porn, then analysing my reaction. And now I had a stronger physical reaction to gay porn, so what if I'm gay? I thought I was over doing this but I'm back with the doubts and anxiety. Sorry for just complaining but my mind is doing circles again.
I hate it so much because I'm not homophobic but I just don't want a y if this. My whole childhood and up to before this started I was disgusted by gay porn I never thought it was wrong it just wasn't for me and I was obsessed and loved the idea of being with a woman sexually. I've only crushed on women irl and only wanted to be with women the most towards a guy is I've found them aesthetically handsome but never wanted sex or crushed on them. When I check gay porn now I feel arousal but in my stomach I feel pain because I don't want it or like it. When I get arousal towards women I feel good, butterflies I want to do it in real life and I seek out a romantic and sexual partner I just don't get it why am I getting arousal response when I don't actually like it or want to do it in real life? It's so uncomfortable and depressing I feel like I'm losing myself cuz being straight has always been a big part of my identity and loving women.
I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... someone told me she sounded like a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our conversation... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)
i saw videos on tiktok that people who would pray would end up being gay and i have been praying everyday that i don’t end up gay. I don’t want to be gay but i’m scared that i’m gonna end up changing my mind. What do i do?
I was sleeping and i had a dream about a girl who is young and she was being touchy with me and it seemed like I liked it. And then i woke up and i felt so miserable and scared, like why would this be in my head and why would i appear to like it😔
I’ve gotten alot better but the past week has been hard. I ended things with this guy who I thought I really liked but he was seeing other people and I couldn’t take it. The cherry on top I had a panic attack and thought I was pregnant. I’m not. Now I’m back to thinking I’m a lesbian. I was talking to my aunt and mom about my future wedding and children and got excited. I feel like I’ll never feel attracted to another man again or never enjoy sex. And then seeking reassurance I went on the nocd page and read a story about a woman who had so ocd that turned out to be queer. And now I feel like this is going to happen to me. I also redownloaded tik tok and I keep getting videos about late bloomer lesbians. It feels like the world is telling me I am. Despite the feelings I just had for this guy I feel like I must be a lesbian and I’m just deeply in denial. It’s coming back and I feel like my attraction to men has always been forced.
Am I lesbian or it’s just hocd and libido issues? I (F29) don’t feel desire to have sex with my boyfriend (M32) and I am scared it’s because I am lesbian. We are together 3 years and we are also living together. I think I am more aroused by lesbian porn and lesbian fantasies than straight stuff and sex with men. I always dated men and I felt drawn to them, I also never wanted to be with a woman in real life and I was never attracted to a woman in real life, but I am scared I am just in denial and didn’t know about it or I always knew but didn’t want to accept the truth :-(. It’s not that I never wanted to have sex with men, but when the relationship starts to be serious the desire decreases. I really don’t know what to do. I love my boyfriend and don’t want to break up with him. It’s not a new topic for me. I deal with it already 4 years. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder 5 years ago, because I had panic attacks and some health ocd. After one year I started to be scared that I am a lesbian. I had a therapy and I talked about it with my therapists and they said it’s ocd, but I didn’t tell them the whole true about the porn and fantasies. In my country (Poland/Germany) the therapists are mainly familiar with health or harm ocd, so I don’t know if my therapists were familiar with these kind of thoughts. Also sometimes I think that even if it’s ocd it doesn’t mean it’s not truth. The only difference is that I am just more worried, scared and obsessed about it than other people who are questioning their sexuality. Also I even don’t know if it’s still ocd. It feels more like denial right now. Like I know the truth, but I just don’t want to accept it or I try to convince myself that for example it’s normal in long term relationship to not desire sex but the truth is it’s not normal if it happens all the time. I don’t really have ocd symptoms right now. At the beginning I was very scared and had to google all the time etc., but right now I just have pretty normal life. I am just still worried about it and ruminate though right now I try to avoid the whole thoughts and feelings all the time. And this is exactly what the people call denial. Knowing the truth but avoiding it… I don’t know if i have still doubts. It’s more like I know deep down what is the truth but I still hope it’s not the truth and try to convince myself that it’s everything ok but it doesn’t work because I am just a lesbian :-( TL;DR - I have sex issues in my relationship. I don’t feel desire to have sex and I am looking for a solution how to change it. Hopefully it’s because ocd and I am not attracted to women.
Hey, well, this is my first time ever posting in here but I figured why not? I’ve been struggling with this issue for almost three months now and it’s been a constant battle, I guess I just really need some support, so almost a year ago now, I got in a relationship and I realized I may be Asexual since I didn’t really have any sexual desires towards my partner, starting late November though, I began to have these intrusive images in my head of us having sex. These thoughts have caused me a lot of anxiety and stress as well as depression. It’s weird, I know deep down in my heart I don’t desire any of that with her but the thoughts feel so real at times and sometimes that makes me feel like I want the thoughts. I’m pretty much lost at this point and don’t know if whether it is OCD or if I’m just in denial. The thing is, I don’t want to see her that way, she doesn’t want to ever engage in any sexual activity and I want to respect that and respect the decision we both made to never do so unless it’s to have a baby. I just feel a sense of doom I guess, I’m scared that I might like the thoughts when I don’t want to like them. I’d feel so much guilt if it isn’t OCD and it’s actually me, and the thought of that terrifies me. I hope every day it’s OCD.
Hi everyone, My therapist is not a fan of ERP, we are doing a compassionate based therapy and she really wants to get to the bottom of what is behind my OCD and core fears. However, we have been trying CFT for over a year and I am still struggling with CFT and day to day life. I am really keen to try ERP and she has said yes if I come up with suggestions. Would be very grateful for some ideas of good first ERP exercises for someone with SOCD and ROCD. Thanks in advance!
Would quitting my porn addiction help with hocd? I believe it's becoming a reassurance compulsion, as I go on to prove to myself I am straight by watching straight porn. But then I find myself noticing the dude and checking to see if I find him attractive. Which continues the cycle of continuing to try to prove I am not attracted. I've been struggling with hocd for about a year and a half, it's been Hell every second of it. I never had questioned my sexuality before this, not once and I had been obsessed with girls every since I started to notice them. I so badly want to find a nice lady and have a big family and the thought of being gay scares me so much. I just can't beat this thing. Maybe quitting porn is the answer? I am so drained from this fucking thing, I miss me before hocd, I'd give anything to go back to before this.
i started having hocd at age 12 but didn’t know what it was till this past year at age 15. i was convinced i was gay but also like knew i wasent. i thought grounal responses was being turned on so i pretty much convinced myself that’s what it was. now i’m scared i really am gay and am just in denial. please help me i only want boys and i don’t wanna be gay i just wanna be happy and normal. i have false attraction and false feelings and groinals and thoughts and i want my attraction to men back
I feel my heart break when I think of losing my bf, I still feel a small part of me want him but now everything is pointing me just being lesbian. I’m convinced now that I only like being w him because of the male attention😭thinking of being lesbian and being w women doesn’t feel like desire at all like how lesbians describe it, but it feels so real and part of me just wants to give up and break up with him and just give in to this :( I get a lot of anxiety now thinking about being w men and feels like there’s no other way to explain this. I know it’s seeking for reassurance but it feels so hard to bring myself back from this to even say “maybe maybe not”. I just need some advice :(
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