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Worry about groinal responses while laying down and worry when i hear relatives voices. I adjust as a compulsion and worry if im arousing and if i dont move i worry am i dwelling.

ROCD, MOCD, HOCD, SOOCD, POCD. The worst ones I'm flitting between right now, is H and P, the ones that feel the worst and are the most sickening. Up until 2 weeks ago, I was doing well and feeling more positive. Today my mind has been trying to go back to where the POCD actually first started, or the biggest trigger that I can remember. Never a good idea to do that. It's gone back to my friend's child. Remembering at a wedding when she was so pretty all dressed up, really beautiful. And I don't know whether it's the physical and mental state I'm in now that's doing it, but it makes me feel like I re-acted mentally and physically to thinking that. The worst thing was, she was really beautiful, really photogenic and there's a cloud in my heading giving me this feeling of I reacted in "that" way and wanted to. I didn't. But I'm in major anxiety right now, because I'm "feeling" it. Why? Does that mean I am? In my head it's questioning I'm in denial. It makes me feel sick. Ever since then I worried about being around ,not just her, but other responses that I felt would trigger that. Oh my god, writing this down is making me feel sick and anxious and I've convinced myself I'm evil. I don't want to do anything like that, I swear. All this is ruining my potential for a friendship/relationship because I don't feel I can ever be around him because of what is going on, how crazy and psycho I am, and on a physical level with them. And I really them them too and loved spending time with him. I've always avoided relationships in the past, because of my confidence, and I've missed put. It makes me feel so sad, because I'm not evil. I seem to convince myself I'm the P word (I can't even say it), that I'm gonna harm someone because I get angry or upset, that I'm other worse things as well. That I can't do this, and I'm gonna fail. Right now, I feel like I've undone everything positive I've done and experienced over the last couple of months. Which makes me spiral more, I dont want that.

Hi, I'm Alexander   I want to start off by saying 2 things: 1. I am so proud that you are still here, fighting your war, pushing day by day. You are loved, and you are not alone. 2. I find humor helps me feel better about my OCD, as it kinda takes the wind out of its sail, so I hope I do not offend anyone with the silly jokes I make. If anyone takes offense, please let me know, and I will revise my post.   I was diagnosed with OCD in February of 2020, roughly 4 weeks before the world stood still due to COVID. At the time, my obsession was Harm OCD, but as time has gone by, I have acquired additional subtypes, almost like I am collecting Pokemon (gotta catch 'em all, right?). Over time, I have battled with HOCD, Pedophilia OCD, Real Event OCD, Incest OCD (it's not even a defined subtype yet, I'm just a hipster like that), and few others when I have the free time. My go to compulsions were rationalization (which only made things worse) and avoidance (watching Bob's Burgers and playing Rocket League). I started therapy at NOCD early January after a very rough holiday season, with many panic attacks, crying episodes, and generally wishing I was never born. My therapist, Andrew, has been such a gift in my life, treating me with care and compassion that my OCD makes me feel I am not worthy of. Together, we have identified that the core fear my OCD feeds on is abandonment; I am afraid that if I am the person my OCD wants me to think I am, that my friends and family will abandon me. When it came time to start (E)xposure (R)esponse (P)revention, I'm not going to lie, I was terrified. The first few sessions left me in quite a mess (to be fair, I definitely underestimated my response to my exposures, my bad Andrew, that's on me). Session after session it has gotten easier to face my triggers. I learned to steer away from my compulsions, and to process the triggering obsession like the trauma it is. I have been given the OCD Conqueror badge for my progress, and I appreciate the sentiment of it, however, I'm sorry NOCD, I think it gives the wrong idea. Conquering implies a set-in-stone victory, but that isn't what OCD is. OCD is a lifetime war, and a new battle starts every day. Somedays OCD beats me up pretty bad, but with the help I am getting, I am happy to say that most days I kick OCDs ass, sorry for cussing, brother ---^. I know that OCD is cyclic, and days might come where it battles with everything it has, but I'll be better equipped for it this time around. To those who are in active therapy, don't forget to tell your therapists that you appreciate them; without them, there would be no NOCD for us! Show them the same compassion, reassurance, and love they show us! To those who are unsure or scared of therapy, remember, "courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it" -Mark Twain

Im so tired from seeing & feeling from men’s pov , i really dont want to be a man , im really into men but hocd and tocd keep convincing me im not

I've never been turned on by a woman. I've admired a beautiful woman but more so in ways I wish I looked that or a 'good for her' never anything sexual. My SO-OCD is back quite strongly at the moment and it's causing panic in me because I have no crush on any males at all and I've been single by choice for so long it's making me worry what if its because I'm really secretly gay or bi. I even get scared to test mentally thought of being a woman incase I like it. I've done this test before and came to conclusion it wasn't for me but now it's back again. I even used to watch WLW p-orn but not like the close ups it was more because it was less peeness on face.

From what I’ve seen from quite a few people on here and Reddit, dealing with intrusive thoughts during “private” time seems to be something i and many others sadly deal with. I’ve “sort of” gotten used to it but I wish I can enjoy myself sexually the way I used to before these thoughts took over my mind. It’s literally what started the POCD obsession for me in the first place, and why it’s so hard to believe it’s OCD when these thoughts are so prevalent when I’m engaging in something sexual. I always feel reluctant to actually do the deed sometimes cause of how present the thoughts are before I do it but I force myself to cause avoiding it isn’t gonna help. And honestly, I just want to get it over with before my sex drive and these thoughts clash and make it infinitely worse. I try my best to focus on what I know I want (gay porn) but it’s like windshield wipers during a storm. I see clearly for like 5 seconds then boom there’s something that shouldn’t be there and I have to stop. Over and over again. It’s even worse when I finish and it finds its way back on mind when it should be the last thing on it at such a moment. I can’t believe the one thing I used as a stress reliever is now something that cause me nothing but stress.

Hi everyone, I really need an advice. I discovered I have ocd two years ago. I tried to go to therapy for a few time in 2022 but it was terrible: my therapist didn't do erp and was convinced I didn't have ocd because I didn't have any physical compulsion (🚩). In November 2023, I started going to therapy again: finally, I received my ocd diagnosis. However, even my new therapist doesn't practice erp. She understands my disorder a lot better, but she doesn't give me homework or tips for exposures. I am not as desperate as I was some years ago, but I must admit I can't say I'm fine either. I constantly ruminate (even if I try not to) and I feel anxious almost every day. My main theme before was so-ocd. Now I have less obsessions regarding that, but I'm starting to develop r-ocd. I'm in a relationship since November and the idea of losing him or ruining our love do to ocd really freaks me out. Another thing I should add is that I live in Italy, and here it's very difficult to find a trained erp therapist. So my question for you is: do you think I should try creating a hierarchy of exposures on my own? Is it something that I can try? And if it doesn't work, should I try to see if NOCD can do therapy for people living abroad? It's very expensive and it wouldn't be in my language, but it seems to me that they are the only ones who really understand all this. Thanks to anyone who will take the time to read all this and give me an answer❤️

Saw a post today about the late blooming lesbians because this woman got married to a man and had two children only to realize that was a lesbian and now I don't know what to think as someone who is engaged to be married to a man that I love whole heartedly.. ✨️cue so-ocd✨️ Someone help 😭😭

so ive been doing ERP for false attraction and thought i give you an update to see if im doing it right and tell you the feelings i get from it. So usually I expose myself to attractive dudes or dudes in general and than the feelings of false attraction come in and yeah it will come with thoughts which makes it touch but the feelings is whats the most tough about it. Feelings i get i don't know how to explain it, im getting all these sensations or feelings that i have no idea how to explain, but it like tightness in the stomach, tingles maybe? fuzzy feeling all over my chest and stomach and also shoulders too, and other sensations, but i don't feel like its anxiety or distress like if become ok with this but not in a good way you know? it doesn't feel like it but is it? IDK it just feels like genuine and real attraction. What i do is I keep exposing myself and i definitely give attention to the feelings like i notice a lot and i feel hyperfocused on that and i just let the feelings and sensation stay there and just say,"its just my HOCD" but when i say that it doesnt feel true.

I need help someone plz help I keep getting thoughts and physical urges about girls and I feel that I’m getting aroused. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to be with a girl I keep getting images about my sister arms and I xojld care her veins and I know that I like men with veiny arms but I keep getting a reliant that I like My sister with it I don’t what to do I don’t have anyone to talk to u I feel like I am alone. In Islam I don’t know if it’s true or not but god says to the fetus 77 times if u want to come to this world and god shows his or her life to it till his death. I wonder what did I see in this world that I agreed to come here I don’t want to live anymore I’ve had enough no one understand I want to go back to normal I don’t want to be with a girl I’ve never imagined my life with a girl I’m having 5 tablets a day of medication and I’m becoming worse I can’t focus I can’t remember certain things

I am going to talk about medications. Please do not read if you feel triggered. Hi, first of all I'll talk about my OCD. I think I have pure OCD and other types of OCD that I can't categoryzing. I always feel anxious about forbiden sexual things (behaviors, thoughts etc.), betraying friend of valentine, having doubts about myself such as "am I a pedo? Did I feel discomfort when I felt gronial responses?" etc. Because of my OCD I am having trouble in my life especially socially. I broke up with my boyfriends, I had lots of arguments with my friends, once I even talk about my obsessions with my brother (he is kind to me but I felt weird). Also my educatinal performance, my daily life, my health, diet is getting worse. Because I can't find the energy that I need. I start my therapy journey 3 months ago. I tried to have therapy before but I dropped out. But now I have really trouble with my OCD. I use Selectra (100 mg) medication. It is an SSRI. I don't think it is enough for me. Tomorrow I have an appoinment. I am going to talk about this. I need to talk about medicines actually. I know it might be dangerous. But at least I need to learn what are medicines that actually help to OCD. What are you using and how it feels?

I keep having images of me being gay and I really don't want to be . It has been in my head constantly for ages making me doubt myself and thinking if I come out I will be happier . This all stems from kissing a guy 16 years ago and being curious while I was drunk . I have a girlfriend that I love but this constant doubt is making feel distant from her I am now looking at random men everywhere and it's making me anxious . And when I see gay guys on tv I focus on them . I don't want to be gay . Struggling today

Hello i was a porn addict for 16 years. Iam 25 abused alkohol and was sex addicted to girls never could have enough. Few months ago i was heavily drunk and without knowing ended up sleeping with a trans which i regret heavily I developed HOCD heavily which confused me and brought me to suicidal thoughts i was so confused that i actually believed that iam gonna turn trans without me wanting it then it developed to be scared that i could kill myself without wanting it. I want to just turn normal as i was can anyone help me ?

I've been doing really well. But today my OCD has brought up a portion of my past where I had a sexual dream of me and my friend (my friend is a girl). Now my head is telling well you had that dream and thought maybe you liked her. I didn't like her and I knew that. But now all my head is telling me well you must like girls because this happened and I know my sexual orientation. Any advice would be great.

My parents think I’m a burden they I’m over reacting I have nothing I don’t want t to live anymore do u think suiside is the best option I don’t know why god is punishing me I can’t take it I don’t want to live anymore in this tourtire life

Trigger warning for anyone who is in the depths of their obsessions and compulsions. I’ve struggled with SOOCD on and off for years. As I’ve stated before the thoughts don’t necessarily disappear but they no longer bother me the way they used to. Part of my personal ERP is to accept that maybe I’m just bi and fall somewhere on the spectrum. I know I like men and like being relationships with men (I’m a woman) but I do think women are pretty and hot but don’t ever want to act on that or date one…so my question is, are there different levels of being bi? Like attraction but not romantic?

I’m tired. I’m absolutely tired. i cry and cry. i don’t know who to turn to. my ocd/pocd is physically weakening me. Also I’m someone who likes to interpret dreams. so I dreamt of me swimming and when I searched the meaning, some said I’d go to jail. & this sent me spiraling. please help. i really really wanna do therapy but mom says I’m not at that stage where I need therapy yet.

I see an attractive guy, I test for sex mentally with me or with another good looking guy, and I don’t like it so I can move on. Then I imagine him solo doing something like giving himself a handjob and again I don’t like it. BUT now I see it from a girls pic like when I test by kissing a guy in my head it’s automatically a girl kissing the guy which causes arousal, same w the sex part it would imagine a girl giving him a blowjob or getting fcked and I can see her vagina. All this causes arousal, and I hope it’s because the girl is there but I can’t help but think this makes me gay. I’ve beat TOCD before so I won’t fall for that again. I also see a girl I like and question why does she like guys? If she likes guys then out myself in her shoes and would I like guys too? Idk what to do.

I keep having unwanted sexual thoughts or images in my mind and its really stressing me and my compulsion is to avoid and block the tought the thing is that i am a believer i dont and if do erp i am supposed to facd my thought and let myself think abt it but my rocd male me feel that i will have sins and that i can not let myself think such things so idk what to do abt this sexual thoughts

I’ve been doing better and have gained my attraction back to men. It was never gone to begin with, but feel like HOCD is creeping back in. I had a heavy meal and sugary drink before bed and I got hit with a wave a thoughts to be bisexual. I don’t want to be bisexual, I know I’m not. I know it’s OCD, but the way it just feels real. Like the thoughts pop in “I” and it’s freaking me out. I hate this, but I will cope. I have to remind myself I’m not alone. I’m not alone in this battle. I hate how real it feels at times. I know I’m not in denial.