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Just want to cut I’m with my boyfriend but feel alone and unwanted from arguing and the relationship feels confusing one minute I love him and the next I don’t wanna be with him

hi i’m belinda and i always have really bad intrusive thoughts. always have. im really young so i can’t get the help i need because my parents think therapy is stupid, so im glad i found this app. but i can never get these thoughts out of my head even if i don’t believe them. its so bad, i will never be saying it out loud. sometimes i fear that God won’t forgive me for my intrusive thoughts, even if i can’t control it. i don’t know. can anyone help? 🥲 or does anyone relate?

I'm trying to study and I have a really difficult time making decisions so when thinking about whether to do old content or new ones my brain just said 'promise on your mum's life to only do old content until Tuesday' and that's really bad because I need to do new content too and now I don't know what to do

It feels like OCD has taken everything good out of my life. I only feel free from anxiety, guilt, fear and lack of control when I'm sleeping and I'm lucky that my intrusive thoughts don't affect my night's sleep either. My therapist has already warned me about the dangers of not doing anything that is good for me as this can result in severe depression, but I feel so guilty about my thoughts and then carrying out a compulsion, that sometimes I don't even feel like eating, I feel truly sick to my stomach. I have suffered from undiagnosed OCD for as long as I can remember, I finally had a diagnosis at the beginning of this year and it was a relief at first, to have an answer as to why my whole life was the way it was, but now I continue the treatment and I don't know if one day I will be able to improve. I know that OCD has no cure and it hurts to think that I will have to live every day of my life fighting my own brain. Anyway, this has gone on too long, this app is one of the best things I've ever done for myself and my disorder, I hope this all passes soon, I'm tired.

It genuinely feels like this disorder is taking away my whole life. I cant go outside and hangout with the people I love or even be around strangers because my thoughts will include them and I’ll just get really uncomfortable and anxious. It has made me distance myself from so many ppl in my life and made me have thoughts and feelings that I don’t want and that I hate making me feel like a monster and a disgusting person. Sometimes I’m genuinely so close to taking my life. It feels like there’s no hope for me at all and that I’ll be like this forever fighting my own brain till I’m old and on my death bed. I’m supposed to be enjoying my summer but I just can’t. I cant go outside, I can’t go on social media, hell I can’t do anything because there will be a child around that will trigger me into a spiral. I can’t stay all summer locked up in my room and constantly making excuses to not go out. It’s been feeling so real too like I’m really the type of person that I don’t want to be and it’s so scary.

Hii, I’ve been on this app for a feew months, and im not diagnosed. I started going to a center of psychological attention at my school used for training their future therapists (I’m studying psychology too) but I haven’t told my family that I need help because I’m a bit scary of what they’re gonna thing about me (the support psychologists just I’m scared of the content of my obsessions or whatever they’re, again I repeat I’m undiagnosed). The problem is that, I thought that talking to my psychologist about my doubts about maybe having ocd would make her interested and maybe like to indague more about it, but she always tells me that my intrusive thoughts are illogical and that I shouldn’t worry about them too much, and that my, what I think are, false memories aren’t real and I shouldn’t believe them because if something happened I would remember, but, I haven’t told her about the most horrible thoughts and images and the content of my obsessions because I’m really scared that she’ll think I’m crazy. She told me to seek a psychiatrist and while it maybe good, to go I need my mum taking me, and I don’t wanna go to the psychiatrist either, I’ll rather start with a therapist specialized in ocd for them to evaluate me and answer my questions. My psychologist is nice, but Im now regretting seeing her first because now I don’t wanna tell her that I wanna see a licensed therapist specifically specialized in ocd and leave her. She is nice but I don’t think we’re getting anywhere and I just struggle to ask my mum for help (even though knowing that she’ll get it for me) So, does anyone have like tips for telling your parents that you think you may have ocd and for telling your therapist that you wanna leave her because you feel you are not going anywhere and you wanna seek for a possible diagnoses? 😿

Help please

Hello everyone! So let me tell you my story. My OCD started the typical way, it involved mainly around the contamination theme, I was around 11/12 years old. It was very bad, very very bad, I lost hours upon hours cleaning my hands, touching things repeatedly a certain number of times, etc. My family eventually talked about it to the GP who could immediately tell it was OCD. After this, he sent me to a "therapist", with whom I had a very bad experience. He used psychoanalysis, which clearly did not work, it even got worse... Looking back, I think medication and proper therapy could have saved me a lot of time. I stopped seeing this person (one of the best things I did in my life, I think). Then, finally, out of frustration, and knowing that I had a mental disorder, that all my anxiety came from this thing called OCD, I accidentally started some primitive form of ERP without knowing it. I did not stop doing compulsions, but started doing them in a bad way. Then not doing them, having the "f* it, let's see what happens if I don't clean my hands now" mentality. It all finally went away, my OCD was "cured". At least, that's what my family thinks, and the new GP I had in the meantime too. It only stopped for about three years (which is amazing, actually). Then I started having other OCD themes, and because I did not see a proper therapist when I first got "diagnosed", I thought it was not OCD, because I was "cured". It went on and on for months, no one saw it, my compulsions involved replaying things in my head, checking things by googling them, I even had some digital OCD which made me reset my devices a countless number of times. Eventually, this feeling I got, well, it reminded me of something, let's search if OCD can be something more than a fear of contamination: holy moly, it IS OCD. I did not want to see a therapist, by fear of telling my family that I need help, and started to mimic some kind of ERP, which was insanely difficult with these themes, it eventually worked out. I "managed" it, and learned in the meantime I will never be cured. I can only try to manage it when it comes. But the thing is, everyone thinks I am cured, shouldn't my GP know that it cannot be? Well. I am writing to this community to first let everyone know that this disorder can be managed, it only is a matter of time and perseverance, and also, for you to keep in mind that therapy is important, because it gives you the tools to manage it in the long term. Another reason that I am here is that I am having another round of OCD at the moment, but this time, do you think I should tell it and get proper help, or that I can manage it myself given my track record? Thank you for reading this huge post.

I feel like i have gotten to the point where i realize it's my brain convincing me, telling me that there is something wrong with me. That i have cancer because there's no way that i don't. That I'm ill and i will pass in a few days. I get so scared and anxious about it because the truth is i really dont want to die so early in life. And the fear that i will, is just consuming the life i am currently living. I get so depressed and sad because i dont want to die because i like the life i have. And im scared that if i have cancer then everything will get flipped upside down and ill die and i wont experience everything i want to. When i was in middle school i hated life and i seriously had suicidal thoughts, and now i feel like my Health OCD is giving me karma for thinking like that. Because now, i feel like i have it worse than i did then. Everyday i live in constant fear that im going to just drop dead or develop cancer and die before i can even reach 18. But i feel like my intuition wants to keep me safe, so it tells me to check and to make sure i dont have anything wrong with me. I feel like everyone calls me crazy. But it's so hard, and so scary to not worry about this. I try and have a good day but a sudden pain in my arm just makes me believe that my vein is going to burst which will stop my heart or something. I just want to have a good time, The past few months have been worrying me sick. I'm not sure how to get better, or how to stop worrying about having a serious illness. I freak out even more that i keep saying or thinking i have cancer, because then i feel like i'm manifesting it even though i don't want it to happen. I just get scared that i keep saying it and then it will actually happen. I'm just so distraught. But i've been recognizing that i really need to stop this. I've been crying everyday about this. I really just need help and guidance, i just need to be healthy :(

I was remembering something my therapist said about how sometimes SA victims feel things in their body when they’re being assaulted or can 0rgasm and stuff (it’s a physiological response, and it doesn’t mean they consented or enjoyed it) and my brain briefly imagined a fictional character I like and their SA story and imagined them 0rgasming during it. And my brain was like uncomfortable, and I didn’t even feel groinal response, but then like I didn’t feel uncomfortable for a few seconds? And I don’t know why, but my brain feels like I enjoyed it? Even tho immediately after I felt that lack of discomfort, I immediately felt fear and disgust over possibly being into the idea? I don’t know what to make of this and I have no idea how to tell what I just felt or not. I’m really scared because like… I absolutely despise SA and the idea of being into something to do with it. And this character I’m like heavily emotionally attached to (I have adhd and they’re my hyperfix and have been for almost a year) and this feels like a betrayal and really gross because what happened to them was awful. How am I meant to tell whether or not I felt arousal or not? What if my brain went into a weird headspace where I enjoy SA somehow? Is it possible my brain separated the action happening from the context for a split second? If that’s what happened, does that mean I’m into SA, or am a bad person?

i feel like im being crushed by the weight of deadlines and my thoughts. i have so much to do in the next 3 weeks and i feel so distracted by my brain. i just got diagnosed with OCD and it feels good to put a name to all these endless thoughts i have. i think so much and never get a break and on top of it im so overwhelmed by assignments i feel paralyzed (i have adhd, too). even when i do things i enjoy my brain still somehow thinks of something to ruin the moment. 🫠

I’m finding it really hard to comfort my long distance boyfriend he’s really low but I’m also feeling so low and I feel really guilty because he says I’m not there for him I’m trying to comfort him I’m getting so angry at myself because I just am finding it so hard to be there for someone when I’m getting sh thoughts Feel guilty and he thinks I’m making it about me Idk what to do I have no one to talk to because I can’t talk to him about it as he’s going through stuff

Does anyone else’s have like at least one false memory every day? And do anyone else ruminates about something that just happened because at the time the event happened you had an intrusive image and you don’t really know what happened at the moment ? I’m not diagnosed and I’m working really hard but this is super scary and I worry I’m just in denial or being a really bad person

do you guys have sometimes moral/ethical rumination about why something that is obviously bad is bad? I'm afraid of it because sometimes I feel like I don't have an immediate or sufficient answer, and that I believe something is wrong just because of collective morals, and not because i genuinely believe it is bad and that makes me sick. I'm afraid of faking it. I had a very triggering disturbing question about why something is bad and i didn't have a sufficient answer for me to make me believe that it was a genuine belief of mine. It bothers me that I'm not so firm about a certain belief, and yet it's the very thing that made me want to end my life a while ago. I'm afraid that im faking my repulsion to evil and horrible things and I just think that way for convenience. I can't tolerate it, not because of what others would think but because i can't tolerate living myself like a sick monster that has sick thoughts.

An animal in my county tested positive for rabies in my county last night. I’ve been feeling so weird and all that since getting bit by a cat on the 6th I’m actually gonna end it all if I have it. I can’t do this anymore oh my god

I’ve been suffering with pure ocd for the past 8-9 months with ups and downs, which has been impacting everything, I’ve tried my best to convince myself to identify that they’re only thoughts and don’t define me, but the fact their pure and I just have mental compulsions is so draining, I feel like I can’t take this anymore, and the doubt that comes along with it is so bad, I’ve also been on meds which haven’t helped at all, still feeling depressed and anxious all the time. Yesterday, I read how someone having was having thoughts regarding kids, I now fear that I’ll get the same which I really don’t want and now just constantly ruminating over that, im constantly just worried about my future, career and relationships as I’ve always wanted to do a lot of things in life, and the past year has been hell for me, I dunno what to do anymore? I’ve got a month till I’m seeing a private therapist, does this ever get better , I just wanna be myself again without these thoughts bothering me all the time and that feeling of having to be scared of them coming into my mind, and not having to life with the doubts. I also get thoughts of ending it all, but that’s now what I want but I feel so trapped in my own head. Please does anyone have advice, I’ve tried everything, meditation, medication, trying to convince myself it’s just my mind, but I can’t stop the worry and just accept the intrusive thoughts without feeling so distressed.

Anyone has experienced being hyperaware of their private parts? Like i don’t have any intrusive thoughts but when i become aware of my private parts i start feeling weird and guilty and then the thoughts begin and i start to panic and feeling overwhelmed cause i get intrusive thoughts on my sexual abuse from when i was a teenager

For some reason, my thoughts aren't bothering me as much anymore and it's scaring me. I don't want to do those things, but why aren't they bother my? is this a good or bad thing?

I feel guilty I’m feeling this way because I know people going through worse stuff than me right now so I can’t speak to them and feel so alone I feel like I’m making it up and putting on “bad mental health” and that I’m actually fine but if that’s the case why am I feeling so drained and struggling to get through the day Constantly having thoughts of s3lf harm again I don’t know what this feeling is anymore and I don’t even know what’s what I feel a mess I can’t explain what’s going on inside my head

Im scared of being an egoist, a selfish, narcissist, self centered person. I always have horrible thoughts that always praising me. My thoughts constantly praise me, my body, and speak as if I want people to run after me. I have thoughts that talk as if everyone is watching me, everyone should admire me. Do I like these thoughts? What if I like these thoughts? What if I enjoy these thoughts and I really am such a narcissistic, disgusting person? And I have a partner. I have slutty thoughts constantly wanting to impress people, with more than one person, wanting everyone to love me. I feel extremely disgusting and i feel like a whore. And i feel so unfaithful, disloyal towards to my partner. I feel like i act like an attention seeker. What if i truly want these things? What if i act like a celebrity and i want people to chase me? What if i want so many people and i want to be unfaithful to my partner and i actually don't even care about my partner and i only care about fame? I feel so... I don't know the word. Disgusting. I sometimes get feelings like, if im beautiful or talented, or im just existing, everyone needs to see or know me. Why do i get this disgusting feeling? I feel like a narcissist and im never happy with these whory thoughts and feelings. I want to get rid of from them. What if i enjoy these and im just acting innocent right now?