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i really hate that i can overthink so easy with the littlest of things. i know dreams can’t explain everything but i had one about someone saying that dream me was a lesbian and dream me was stressed so i woke up and then real life me was stressed lol. i woke up and i genuinely feel so stressed currently.
Look up Ali Greymond for help with OCD, she had severe OCD and completely recovered. If someone tells you that you can't recover from OCD, that's not true. It will take time to heal the brain but we can do it!
It's so hard when soocd fixates on one person because it convinces me I'm attracted to them and then I'll come to terms like "okay I'm attracted to them. But do I want to date them??" And then I end up doing a bunch of mental compulsions and asking mental questions to like get me out of that. it's SO exhausting
I was doing well yesterday but today it just feels like I have transitioned. I am having backdoor spike and all the past memories with same sex are coming to my mind "like it meant something" and when I close my eyes I seee girls, I try to visualise something, I see girls. I open instagram, it feels I am attracted to literally every girl I see. I don't feel girly enough. 🥺 It feels genuinely real. Idk what to do.
My constant gronail responses make me feel like i am straight or bi. But i feel so uncomfortable and i don't wanna be with a woman. Nor have i ever fallen in love with one. One year ago i didn't even have those gronial responses let alone doubt that i was gay. I just want things to go back to normal. I feel miserable.
Here are some common OCD inquiries during an obsessive episode: “But what if I’m the exception to the rule…what if i really am x, y, or z. What if it’s not just my OCD?” “Am I sure that these thoughts truly aren’t mine?” “The more I think about this the more real it feels. Am I protecting myself from the truth?” All of these things that you ask yourself during an obsessive episode are parts of the OCD experience! Recognizing them can mean the difference between pulling yourself out of the spiral.
Does anybody else have some kind of head tightness like everyday from OCD/anxiety? Any tips on how to help relieve it? It’s my main physical symptom.. I don’t necessarily get painful headaches it’s just tightness that moves different spots on my head
ever since i’ve started experiencing OCD symptoms it’s been harder for me to feel any romantic feelings or feelings in general. Like i’m not allowed to feel anything. Is this normal for OCD?
what has helped you the most when it comes to fighting ocd? ❁
Feels so light and relaxed going to bed without any doubts on my mind. After a long time, nearly a month of continuous hyper false memorycontamination OCD episodes, I am on my bed without any doubts, hope I get a good sleep tonight. I don't know how it happened but every time a doubt (false memory)came to my mind it automatically went away instantly. I am continuously trying to train my mind that whatever doubts I get about contamination are false memories. May be it's working. I know I am going to have a relapse sooner or later but atleast for tonight I am relaxed. It was as if I was watching my false memories or doubts come from a third persons point of view, like I was out of my body for that moment.
Does anyone have any tips on how to recover on your own? I’ve only been struggling for 2 weeks and a half so I think that I have a chance of recovering on my own but I do not know how
To anyone doubting themselves…please keep going! I finished my therapy here and can honestly say I am recovered. It didn’t come easy but I promise that there is hope. I’ve struggled for 20 years and finally have some relief. It is possible!
Why is real event OCD so hard to overcome? I’ve dealt with HOCD and POCD and had great success overcoming it. I’ve struggled so bad with real event, I guess because it was something that actually happened. Any advice?
When the thoughts are so constant like this, how am I NOT supposed to believe they are . People always say you're self is still inside of you even when ocd is debilitating, but I dont understand how that could be. I have no idea who I am.
I had a dream where this girl I met was like kissing my neck and stuff, and I liked it... But I'm really really confused bc I thought it was a boy for the first bit?.. I think, idrk... But after I knew it was a girl, I felt anxiety fill my mind but it still wasn't bad... I really am starting to think I'm bi with a male pref.... I don't wanna be tho.
Hey!! I wanted to just share something that’s been helping me a lot. I have rocd and so ocd and it started when I was 19. I started dating my boyfriend when I was 18 before having any of the thoughts that I have now. I know a lot of us on here are always like “I want my old self back”. And I DO TOO. So whenever I’m worrying about something I just think, “would my old self be worrying about this?” And most of the time it’s, “no she wouldn’t be, so I don’t care about this.” And oh my gosh it’s helped so much, I’m starting to feel like myself again and it’s the best feeling.
because of SOOCD, i feel like i’ve been coming across as homophobic and it’s stressing me out. sometimes every little thing comes across as being part of lgbt and it stresses me out even more like i don’t want to undermine the person’s experience but oh my god does it stress me out a TON
I understand the science behind ERP but is it just me or does it feel incredibly awkward to do something that is the opposite of what you’re used to? And…escalating the ERP with more intense imagery seems even more out of character. Why would I do something I would not otherwise do? Do I have to go there or can I stop short?
I am soooo happyyyyy. My parents are finally taking me to a therapist. She's a female and guess what my OCD tried to do...it said you'll be attracted to her and you're happy because she's a female (I am happy cause I'll be comfortable in opening up to her). It'll be a great ERP...huh back at you OCD. I was doing so much better all by myself through ERP but now my recovery will be under a professional. I can't wait to be normal again wohoooo. 🤩
it really feel like i am just questioning and can't accept it. it feels like i genuinely like it, it feels so real. it doesn't feel like ocd AT ALL. i am thinking about it less (because i think i am distracting myself a lot) but when i get thoughts they feel so real and barely any anxiety :( it feels like i am lying about it. it feels like i want it. can ocd feel this real yet with very little anxiety and much lesser thoughts???????????
recently i thought i was doing so good with my soocd when i started to get thoughts about being and bi and it felt like i enjoyed it. butterflies and all but then i quickly got the anxiety and realized it’s not me. this is how my ocd started with the possibility of me being bi and now i’m scared im just in denial the whole time. i cant even sleep.
Just wondering if anyone else has this too.. i feel like i often admire other women and sometimes its quite intense (like role models and stuff or people i look up to or wish i could be more like them). Im terrified im secretly in love with them or that in the future it will happen again and then i’ll realise ive been gay all along even though i dont feel attracted to women (although my ocd says im in denial about that). Its killing me, im terrified. Im starting uni in a couple of weeks and im so so scared im going to end up crushing on another girl or something and also that i will never experience strong feelings towards a guy because im denial 😭 i feel like theres too much proof and im in denial and i feel like i cant get treatment for ocd because i probably dont have it because im just in denial or that i have ocd but i am also in denial or something. I know its so stupid, im just really stuck at this point.
I am so so so worried about the concept of an internal gaydar See, all my friends are LGBTQ and I got so excited when I just recently met some new friends and I just found out that at least two of my new friends are not straight I’ve heard that you’re more likely to befriend LGBTQ people if you are also LGBTQ My OCD has really died down lately but I think I might be having an episode right now Please please help I don’t know what’s going on
Does anyone know the difference between having homosexuality OCD and just being gay? Because I am a Christian and I really struggle with this.
ERP is giving me hope! Pretty amazing stuff.
Someone please help.please please So I met a guy I thought was a family friend cuz he knew a lot of information about my relatives including recent events and I thought he worked as a taxi driver and a delivery driver. And he offered me a free ride home and I accepted twice. Turns out he’s not as close to my family as I thought and the first time we met he asked if I was married even tho I’m 18 and the second time got really pushy to get me to his house. I feel Like Im partly to blame for being so gullible but I thought I was getting a free taxi ride. Now I’m deathly afraid that I’ll see him again and that he might be stalking me cuz he mentioned he’s seen me a few times before n wanted to talk to me. I lied about where I work and everything. I informed people around me and my mum said she’s gonna talk with him. But I’m still scared something might happen. Something in my mind is like oh why would the universe introduce u two if he wasn’t gonna do something horrible to you. And now im losing sleep. Next time If I do see him im gonna run away even tho he knows when im usually in town cuz he’s there for work. I live in a small town too. Any advice anyone please??
when you have ocd, is it normal that you’ve had a specific ocd obsession for so long? i’ve had other ocd obsessions like real event and harm but they lasted very short however, my mind is still stuck in this one specific ocd obsession that i have. ive had it for 10 months i fear that this may never go away and i might be stuck like this and i have the worst symptoms for it. i feel ashamed and disgusted for having this specific ocd obsession for so long. please does anyone else experience this
So I get such bad disassociation with my OCD and I hate it so much. Like I can be somewhere trying to hard to enjoy myself but at the same time I feel like I’m not even there and I’m in just a completely different universe that only filled with depression and OCD. It sucks. Does anyone else have this and if so how do you deal with it?
does anyone with SOOCD ever see like another version of yourself but with the gender you worry about being with? like for example, sometimes i space out and feel like there’s another version of me going on with her life but with a female partner and it makes me feel weird
ever have a piece of evidence from ur past that will literally prove something causing u anxiety now is real? i mean logically speaking, i’ll come up with a stupid example… if i was afraid that the sky was blue and every time i looked at the sky, it was obviously blue then that’s real. i’m not blowing it out of proportion, this is a real fact that could point to reality now what am i supposed to do?
"And This Too Shall Pass" 2 Corinthians 4: 17-18.
Can someone explain what is false attraction thank you
I wish there was more talk about the other things that come with OCD, besides obsessions and compulsions. Like black and white thinking, or sensory sensitivity, or the insecurity that comes from being uncertain about everything, or low energy levels... things like that... OCD affects me in so many ways and there seems to be little resources that talk about the symptoms outside of the obsessions and compulsions...
My groinals are constant. Pls I want them gone 🥲🌝
Closed my door cried in my bed now it feels as if I faked my sadness. It feels as if how I act is fake. As if my emotions are a joke and if I'm acting. So confused on my personality that it's getting me to the point if these thoughts are mine and if the only reason I haven't acted on them is because I'm holding back. It's honestly frustrating me because I don't even feel like I know myself anymore and I'm tired if having these thoughts.
It still feels like I won’t get a future with my partner bc I’m worried I’ll turn lesbian or the distance will be too hard. Plus there’s not much anxiety around the idea anymore, it just seems like the truth so that just makes me feel like complete poop. It’s so hard to be hopeful and I really do want a future with him but it feels like I won’t. It isn’t fair, I don’t want that taken from me. I don’t care about any of this stupid stuff anymore, I just want to see him in person again to make sure everything I felt for him wasn’t just in my head and that there’s still hope for us.
I recently read REWIRE YOUR OCD BRAIN by Catherine Pittman and found it extremely helpful in describing the science behind OCD, ERP and cortex exercises. While the book doesnt fo into specific OCD types, it made me feel so much better to understand this is how OCD works, this is 100% the anxiety experience and this is what I havent known for the past 22+ years.
So my ocd has been low lately and I haven't been doing planned scripts or exposures but I have been doing anything that comes up in the moment and not doing compulsions. I've asked around and the consensus was that I should also still be doing planned scripts/exposures. So this morning I did a script. Since then I've had super strong thoughts along with a surge of fear...and feeling like I'm going to lose control... just have to wonder if it is because I did a script this morning... anyone with a similar experience??
I want to change something I said the other day. The other day I said the reason OCD is so uncomfortable is cus certainty equals safety. But I realize now that may not be fully true. In certain regards certainty can equal a sense of safety, such as feeling certain that home is safe and sound and a place you can always go back to. It feels safe. But certainty can also feel unsafe. People who are always certain something bad will happen, or who always look back in time to bad events that have certainly happened, definitely don't feel so safe either usually. So certainty can equal safety, but so can uncertainty, cus depending on the context, both can keep us present
You know what kinda scares me.. Is feeling depressed.. Because what if I get depression and get help but not get better. - I also don't like the feeling of no motivation. - If I don't have motivation I get scared
Is it okay to say "it's just a thought" everytime I get an intrusive thought?
I started therapy yesterday. I cannot have a therapy by nocd, cuz I live in Germany. I have found someone in Poland. I am Polish. He is cbt and erp specialist. He knows ocd and also hocd. He is also sexual therapist. The therapy was ok. He was a bit serious. I think I would feel better to talk with woman, but i could not find one. There are everywhere long waiting lists. We will work on my anxiety and ocd. But how he can know I am not really lesbian? He didn't ask me if I was ever attracted to same sex. Nothing. I am also scared to tell him about my past that I have watched lesbian porn. I am scared if I tell him he tell me I am lesbian. But I have to tell him everything cuz I have to make erp regarding my triggers. This is the only way to recover.
Good morning! Live your life today, there's so much more to life than ocd. What I mean by this is experience what today brings your way, live the day you want to live today, not the one ocd tells you. Life isn't perfect on my side but I have lots of blessings in my life that I've been neglecting because of ocd but no more. Today is a good day to stand up to your fears, thoughts come and go, let them. Go live your life. God bless you.
Is it a compulsion to bring up past intrusive thoughts to try and find a solution or ‘test’ reactions? Should I just let past intrusive thoughts just ‘be’?
I have the feeling that when my hocd started I was very anxious, more than now, but I had still some clarity and I knew who I am and now after year of Googling, reading about comphet, sexual fluidity etc I really don't know anything. Every day is worse than better and every day I am less straight. I thought that with time it will be better. I am really confused and depressed. I wish I would never read it. Sometimes it's better not to know... Can someone relate?
When you are in the depths of OCD and you are at rock bottom, it is the most horrifying experience ever...i hope that we all get through this whatever it is that you are struggling with
My memory from this morning is blurry when I had an intrusive thought scenario but I’m scared what if it was made up and not intrusive. But then I think if it was made up and I wanted it then I wouldn’t have anxiety or be obsessing. I know this doesn’t make sense. None of it makes sense. I am so done with ocd. I wish I could make it all go away. I just want to cry all the time
i feel like my ocd isn’t “severe enough” for me to get help. does anyone else feel like this?
OCD, YOU WILL NOT WIN. I AM STILL THE SAME PERSON I WAS BEFORE YOU HIJACKED MY BRAIN. GET OUT OF MY HEAD, YOU SICKO. yuck
Hi! I’ve been dealing with SO-OCD and Relationship OCD for some time now. I’m in treatment and I’m currently taking medication. I believe my medication is affecting my libido and this is really triggering my OCD. Ugh! Is anyone else experiencing this? I also know that OCD in itself can cause sexual dysfunction outside of medication but I’m just a bit frustrated.
Y’all, I need to share some small success. I have been dealing with OCD on my own since age 19. Doing well on and off but never truly understanding OCD fully or how to REALLY help myself. 20 years later here I am 3 weeks into ERP and H-E-L-L-O helpfulness!!! My therapist shared this incredible podcast about ruminating with me and then I dove into that Dr.’s articles on his website. I am SO grateful for my therapist and this Dr’s information because it’s been a total mind switch flip for me. My biggest themes have been existential ocd, self harm/harm ocd and have dealt with other themes in the past just for short periods, but these ones I mentioned are my most difficult. Look, I know I still have work to do, BUT that’s the point; I ACTUALLY have helpful work to do and I’m beyond excited. OCD is hard - healing is hard. I’m choosing my healing is hard option over the ocd is hard option because at the end of the day there is SOLID hope in healing ❤️🩹.
I have given up on caring about who I am and what my sexuality is, I’ve gone full beast mode and just trying to not base my life on my thoughts and start doing something with my life. I’ve just been stuck in my room and keep ruminating and contemplating ifs and that’s and tbh I don’t care no more, I will be me and be me to the best of my ability. Sorry if this triggers anyone.
YOU GUYS. I’m so sorry to brag but I have had THE BEST OCD week. Today is my last day of band camp, which has kept me busy enough to not have many intrusive thoughts. AND!!!!! Not only that, but I’ve developed the BIGGEST crush on a boy in my section. A BOY. Like, a head over heels crush. It feels AMAZING. I know I have no chance with him- he has a girlfriend- but just HAVING THE CRUSH and getting the euphoria of talking to him feels magical. Plus, ITS A BOY. !!!!! Best of luck for everyone out there :)))
Hey guys. I often have sexual, racist, and downright horrible thoughts that I don’t want to have. I know that I should sit with them and let them be there but I pray every night and struggle to not ask for forgiveness for the thoughts. Any tips on how to just sit with the thoughts?
Can someonw tell me what ruminating is
i keep remembering awful things i’ve done that i know i’ve changed from but it still hurts me so much i hate this
Just a reminder that intrusions come in all different ways. Thoughts, images, feelings, physical sensations, urges, etc! But they are all UNWANTED! Don’t let your OCD trick u!!
(I’m not sure if this is triggering to some but I’ll add a warning to play it safe) Here’s a checklist I made in the notes app of what I do/think about when my OCD gets bad; - an urge to isolate, and planning to do so for the rest of my life - Forgets what I look like - Headaches - Seeing words pertaining to the trigger when they aren't actually there - Can't do anything else - “If I do [something that I'm scared of doing] no matter what then I'm a horrible person and there's no undo button” - Intrusive thoughts - Gets enjoyment out of nothing - Panic attacks - Scared to tell anyone because it's so bad - “Nothing is as bad as what I'm thinking/doing/have done” - “I am beyond forgiveness” - “Anyone like me is bad/hated” - Avoids trigger out of fear of doing something horrible - “You’re sick. You're disgusting and horrible and an awful person and you deserve to rot in hell” - Hyper analyses past/current behaviors - Has meltdown if forced to encounter trigger(s) - Tries to erase any past actions as much as possible (via the internet) and if it's not possible to it triggers an anxiety attack - Bargains with self constantly - A small action could trigger the thoughts to return for a long amount of time
Does anyone else’s mental health just keep going up and down? Like I’ll be having a terrible day and just feel horrible and really depressed but then suddenly I’ll be reassured that I’m not a bad person and that my mind is just tricking me and I’ll be able to do everything normally and be happy and I think that my pocd has gone away for good but then the next morning I feel sh!tty again👍👍👍
I read the definition of intrusive thoughts are "Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts that can pop into our heads without warning, at any time. They're often repetitive – with the same kind of thought cropping up again and again – and they can be disturbing or even distressing." But my thoughts aren't as pop ups, they are just very very very disturbing. Honestly 90% of my OCD is just fear that I'm a pedophile, not intrusive thoughts, just that FEAR.
My thoughts doesn't feel intrusive, it just feels like they are there, constantly, chronically, not as pop ups, they are just there, CONSTANTLY. is that intrusive thoughts or something else
Something my therapist told me today: over time you will learn to treat intrusive thoughts like junk mail. They're there you may notice them, but they're junk mail. 🤗
a big trigger for me has been tik tok and tik tok comment sections. it’s very distressing for me to see content about how to determine your sexuality, or how certain fashion choices/music tastes/mannerisms mean you are of a specific sexual orientation. does anyone relate to this trigger or have any tips with dealing with the thoughts that come with triggering tik toks or comments?
I keep questioning whether or not I’m just gay in denial and that I’m not accepting it because I’m secretly homophobic or something. I cried so much. It feels like my life is over. And I feel like I’m going to ruin my relationship. Any advice? Any success stories that have already been through this?
i just want to be straight :( but it feels impossible, it feels like i am lying when i say i don't like girls or don't want to, and it actually feels like i want it. it feels so real :( how can ocd feel so real? like i am ACTUALLY convinced i am gay in denial. anyone felt this before?? like at this point i feel like all i have to do is surrender and accept that i am gay but i don't want to, and then saying that sounds like denial
Does anyone else feel like their brain is so strong that doing ERP won't work? For example, when I try to stop ruminating with a thought like "maybe, or maybe not", my brain is like "I know what you're doing and it's not going to work". It feels like an entity that is smarter than me that I cannot outplay.
I’m getting my nose pierced soon which I’m excited for. Aesthetically I wanted it on the right, but in terms of comfort I think I want the left (idk the left just feels more natural). It’s a bit of an erp moment for me too because I remember my friends (they’re bi) saying if you got a left nose piercing then you’re not straight and they both have left nose piercings. It’s a little daunting, but imma do it on my left.
To those who have somewhat managed to stay on top of their so ocd, or have been doing well lately... how do you cope with the trauma of what you've been through? Here's some context: I haven't been on the app in about a month because I've been doing well, even able to watch films with attractive women and not be triggered. But, I now get anxiety about the possibility of being triggered cos I know what's coming for me if I do get triggered. I've tried to sit with it, I've acknowledged its ocd and the trauma that comes with it, but it's not working and is leading to a panic state sometimes. Like I watched balls of fury with my bf and there was a slim attractive woman and they over sexualised her (as most films do). I was fine, but was so on high alert for triggers. Now, it's like if I relax my brain is going to start overthinking and creating scenarios around soocd that won't happen but that feel like a real possibility (when they're obviously not). It's linked to the trauma of it. It's also like when I look up to women that inspire me or are beautiful and make me want to look like that, the trauma creeps up on me.
There's sth I don't understand when it comes to the concept of "uncertainty" If someone, for example, gets an intrusive thoughts about being attracted to a family member or a pet or a child or anything similar, are they supposed to just say "okay maybe I am, I should accept that possibility" and then move on...?
Advice from someone who has recovered. -stop posting daily! Train yourself, say okay I can only post once a day. Then when you can do that stop posting at all. When you can do that stop getting on the app. -sit with the thoughts, literally tell yourself maybe it is true but maybe it’s not. But someone else’s experience has nothing to do with mine and it won’t change mine. The more you ask for people’s experience, debate, ruminate, the worse off you’re making yourself. -don’t take medication as an end all. Medication isn’t to fix you it’s to help you. The thoughts aren’t going to go away. The thoughts may happen more or less the only thing you CAN control is how you react to them. -only you determine if you can get to remission! If you’re not forcing yourself to not do compulsions even slowly, if you’re not forcing yourself to get out of bed, not trying to stop ruminating then you’re not allowing yourself to get better!! You’re stronger than you think and you CAN get better