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the NOCD Community

I see so many people with SO-OCD talk about genuinely knowing their “true” orientation, but still having the irrational fears. This doesn’t really resonate with me, as I’ve had these worries since puberty, and I feel so genuinely confused sometimes. I don’t want to be a lesbian, and I don’t want to date or have sex with women, but I also feel so numb and scared of relationships with men. I’m terrified of intimacy (emotional or physical), and I just can’t relate to some of the things people say about SO-OCD.

Pls help me My boy is super expansive with all the girls. He said that he don't want to flirt with them, that it is just his personality. I have a quality time love and it is super hard for me to see him give a lot of attentions to other girls... It makes me feel so unspecial, just one of others... I don't know what to do... i feel so much pain right now because of this, and I'm about to asking a pause; I don't know If it is the right chose, or an rocd compulsion, but I don't want to keep being hurt like that... what should I do??

Ughh I hate myself. I had gone so long without checking and just when I go to check I find out he has added 3 new blonde girls. It’s really upset me tbh to the extent I want to finish our 4.5 year relationship with him. I know they are all women he works with but it makes me feel like why is he adding them? Surely he’s interested, some of them are really young too like 7/8 years younger than him. I know he likes blondes. And they have bfs too. But it’s still annoyed me. Why did he have to add them? And why has he not added others? Why is it always blondes? Is it maybe just a coincidence that his place are only hiring blondes? Idk. I just feel completely devastated rn and this is exactly why I feel I need to check because I end up missing things like this 😔 I badly want to avoid him at all costs now. I’m calling him all names under the sun rn in my head and feel sick with the thought of him.

What to do when you feel there’s convincing evidence you are your fear? Aka there’s similarities between your behaviour and that of your fear? For me it’s a fear I’m aromantic and because I get uncertain/anxious around getting into a relationship I’m worried this is very similar to what aromantic people do. Please don’t give me reassurance - I just can’t resist ruminating over this. It feels like my fear is real and I’m in denial.

I am wondering if you can offer anything, like in the way of counseling or tips for family trying to help someone who has ocd.

Does anyone have ocd so severe that it feels like no matter what you’re doing, you’re doing something wrong? For example, no matter how I’m holding my daughter I feel like it’s wrong. If I hold her close to me, far away from me, where my hands are placed, etc. I had to unbuckle her seat straps on her high chair and I felt like i went in too aggressive. The buckle lays right in her crotch and allll I could about, was my fingers being near her crotch. I start to hyper focus on it and it makes me soooo uncomfortable. 😓. If she’s laying on my chest I start to hyper focus on my breasts and how they feel and I start to focus so hard on making sure they don’t move or anything. The slightest twitch will send me into a spiral. Same thing when she’s sitting on my lap. I’m constantly telling myself “don’t move don’t move don’t move” and if my leg does move even the slightest bit I freak out and rush of guilt runs over me. Sometimes I don’t even know if I actually move or not, or if I just imagine it. It’s getting really out of hand. I feel so anxious all of the time and I feel like every move I make is wrong. I’m so stiff around her. She’s two so she crawls all over me and if she straddles my leg or my foot or lap or anything I feel this brush of guilt take over me that makes me want to vomit. Like I could’ve done something to prevent it. And when I don’t take the steps to prevent it, I feel so guilty. Like I didn’t move out of the way because I wanted it. When doing diaper changes, I’m so careful about where my hands are, where the diaper is, etc. My mind and heart are just racing and I literally have to think about what my next Move is, strategically place my hands so that they aren’t anywhere near anything conceivably dangerous. My stomach is in knots right now because I just feel so guilty about every single movement I’ve made today. I’m constantly on edge and ruminating/preparing for every move I make all of the time.

having a hard day :-( has anyones NOCD therapist helped them get in touch with a psychiatrist or is that something I need to do on my own?

I got prescribed Zoloft by an online app. I took one and my anxiety went away for the day, but so did my OCD thoughts. I couldn’t overthink while conversing with my family or overanalyze a movie I was watching (and relate it obsessively and emotionally back to myself) which felt so relaxing, but it dulled my emotions to the point I felt detached from the people I loved. When the first dose wore off, my OCD thoughts flooded back in, trying to cause panic and I recognized them since they were gone. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t like dulling my emotions with the medication, but I hate the OCD thoughts. I’m also scared of never having in-depth thoughts if I continue to take them. Does anyone have an opinion on using anti-anxiety meds for OCD?

I don’t mean to ask for reassurance but what’s the difference between having POCD and the real thing

Psalm 37 Verse 23-24 ²³The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him. ²⁴ Though he may stumble he will not fall. OCD may cause your feet to stumble but you will not fall for God is protecting you x.

Is fear OCD a thing? I fear everything :( Fear health, my mental health, death. Im tired of being tired. Im just tired. Im scared to loose my job/need to quit cause i cant handle it anymore.

I’ve been really good at exposing so-ocd, and it improved a little but now I feel like I’m back to where I started but I’ve not compulsed and now I don’t feel the anxiety of what I once used to have so now it actually feels like I’m gay, but I really don’t want to be

I am weak I hate it I’m scared I’m smiling I said overall but I don’t like any girls but the celebrity I went through a phase of looking at women naked and I was gonna say the opposite sex but I actually like that now make faces and I keep remembering I keep saying this one cause I said her she’s not hot or sexy it’s not her the artist by the way it’s some other she’s not and I feel funny and I know I need to stop taking Flexeril just to sleep but it’s just I keep smiling like I don’t wanna do you wanna make out with boys well just I’m scared I imagine making out with them with boys and then squeezing boobs like I do but I don’t want to hermaphrodite no offense to those people because that’s not something they did and it’s not wrong right just unfortunate I guess because it must be like really annoying and I’m rambling. No I’m really scared I quit I don’t wanna enjoy that I don’t want I said I called mine but I’m not bisexual I keep saying my but I don’t want that represents mine when I’m not bisexual I don’t have any bisexuality I don’t want to kiss melon squeeze boobs and I kept can’t stop doing the Home gesture when I don’t want those I just wanna squeeze man and I I keep going funny and fluttering in a :-) I don’t like the celebrity or any other girl that’s how I keep calling I don’t want to feel better she’s not hot or sexy I’ve seen a naked and said she I don’t want to start liking women and I keep smiling weird she doesn’t have a fine buddy she’s not hot or sexy i’m scared I am I don’t wanna be over my guy and I’m not gay and I’m scared I can’t stop I’m straight and I felt something and I don’t know I felt something warm and a smile on my face when I imagine kissing a guy and but I don’t want boobs I don’t wanna squeeze them I don’t want anything like that I don’t wanna be it’s not mine why do I feel flutter in my stomach thinking about her and I keep smiling over her naked triangle I don’t want her small naked triangle or my I don’t want to be I’m not bisexual I’m not bisexual I wanna squeeze boobs I’m scared I can’t stop doing that I’m just done and I keep saying representing my I don’t have how much then there’s nothing for there to be represented I’m scared I can’t stop doing this hand squeezing gesture I’m not bisexual I don’t want to squeeze I’m scared I make faces on front and I do I don’t need they’re not delicious I don’t need fat deposits to squeeze I don’t want boobs why do I smile and I keep doing the damn hand jester and making faces like I don’t when I like slim hardly muscle I want pectorals I’m scared they’re going I don’t want to that’s not how can I say represent how can I call mine when I don’t have any bisexuality I don’t wanna squeeze boobs and make out with me and I don’t I want men and I may face is like I don’t but I like male parts does I called her but she’s not I was getting must be in she is out care she’s not hot or sexy I don’t physically like her she’s not hot or sexy or any girl whether they’re famous or not I made a negative face and said he I love being straight I’m not bye I imagine the male symbol you know what Volvo has it and I said Q in the center but I’m not queer I’m scared why do I feel fluttering and I keep smiling imagining I don’t like I don’t want women I want then she’s not hot or sexy please someone help me

So I’ve been going through a rough patch with my OCD. I am currently on 15mg of Lexapro. I’ve been on it for about two years I think. I feel like it does it’s job but I keep falling into these relapses every couple of months, it’s exhausting. So my psychiatrist wants to add 25mg of Clomipramine (Anafranil) and I read the side effects—especially about the serotonin syndrome—and now I’m afraid to take it. I don’t know anyone on this combination of drugs so I’m obviously worried. I may ask to try something else instead. But if anyone has any information or experience about them together please let me know.

tw* Im in an urgency and im so confused. I dont want to go to therapy but its my only option to get better. But ocd therapy and erp look kinda pointless when it seems like my thoughts are already true, Ive had so many realizations and epiphanies that ive been gay all my life and it just never occurred to me and now it feels like even my gender is not correct and all I need to do is accept/embrace and itll gradually go away. I think Im just certain about it too. I cant fu**ing kill myself either so now im stuck like this, it literally dosent seem like Ocd, I know what Hocd and intrusive thoughts used to feel like but it dosent feel that way anymore not even one percent. Theres tons of proof idk what to do, I know ive been told my many people here to do therapy but wtf man ,i feel cornered I have no choice but to accept that Im gay and i think once I do I wont even care about all this. Wow, this is so dissapointing

Does anybody have thoughts that come out like statements? Right now I keep saying in my head I don’t know why you act like you’re not bisexual when I’m not! It’s not an act! And now I’m scared I feel like kind of like when you get an itchy scalp except much lighter and down there and I can’t move from my car right now. I can’t stop thinking I don’t know why you act like you’re not when I’m not bisexual and I’m not acting! I don’t understand why I can’t just go to sleep. I just want to sleep. And I don’t like the way boobs stick out and I don’t really wanna be here anymore I don’t wanna die but I don’t want to exist

You guys I can’t stop please help me! I keep saying men not women and then adding only like I’m mad but I don’t want women at all! And I can’t stop I keep saying it so seriously I keep saying midnight women only like a man I want man I don’t even want to say I know I don’t and I’m scared I keep saying but I want men I keep saying that women only I don’t want women at all please help me no I can’t breathe you guys please I can’t swallow! I can’t stop saying men not women and adding only but I only want men not women and I keep saying not only I don’t I can’t breathe you guys I don’t want women I want men not women why do I keep adding I don’t want women why do I say only one man I don’t want women I can’t stop please help! I keep saying it seriously men and women only I don’t want women why do I add only! I want men NOT WOMEN I WANT MEN ONLY NOT WOMEN I’m scared of why and how I said that like I was so serious I kept adding only and I can’t swallow my throat is tight and my tongue feels too big for my mouth no I want men not women I’m at midnight women I want men I can’t breathe I want men only not women

I feel like in order to function in my failing marriage right now, controlling my OCD is one of the biggest challenges I can face. My spouse has dealt with it for years and she is over it and me. I confessed something last night and it ruined her mood and she is incredibly pissed off at me. She told me that I am a horrible person. It stings. For every confession I perform to alleviate the anxiety, there are 10 or more that I control. I hate this and living in a situation that is toxic. I don’t really blame her because OCD can be annoying and hurtful to someone else. I just wish she could see through the confession, know that I am trying and realize its the OCD. Oh and I am the most selfish and narcissistic person alive too according to her. So yeah, theres that as well.

What is the worst theme you guys deal with? And what intrusive thoughts come with it? This is totally a judgment free zone

In intimacy I’ve always loved receiving but I struggle to reciprocate the touch I receive and it’s not a natural desire , i do it because I love making my partner feel good and seeing him in pleasure and being able to give that to him. I feel doomed.