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working to conquer OCD
Happy sunday night y'all!š¤š Please give me some props for having an amazing day despite my ex trying to reach out for the 2nd time š©. I wasn't even triggered, which is a major win! A picture from today's outing with a friend :) its been a gorgeous day today š
Not really ocd related nore deoression related but ive recently really just had this bsd episode of feeling unlovable. I dont meet the criteria for clinical depressiin but this existential crisis kinda sucks. I really want to figure out what love is because theres a point whdre a person becomes unlovable right ? I read about people with low functioning autistic kids who destroy the house and people who rely too much on their partners when depressed and the oartner leaves then fir sucking theyyre soul out. I have a fear of beung unlovable and my mind is cknstantly trying tk fgure out what love is and what being umlovable is and whether to shut myself off to the world to never get hurt or to try and form close bonds and whether that is worth a shot becuase i dont want to rely too much on someone and be umlovable vut the only eay to get close to soemone is ope img up to them so where is that line exactly ? I dont want to talk to my friends on that cuz what if they hate me then? But ive noticed they are close ti each other cuz they talk about thir problems. Im the funny carefree friend no one knows about the sadder side of me and i feel so unlovable but logcially know im jpt umlovable because im jot an incovenience tk ithers but im afraid i will be if i shpw people that part of myself so i really dont know ehat to do. I tried telling my therapist who is amazimg for icd but kinda patrinziign and annoyung and treats me like a child when it comes to de0ression. I hate her aplroach but her erp suggestions are good
I see so many people with SO-OCD talk about genuinely knowing their ātrueā orientation, but still having the irrational fears. This doesnāt really resonate with me, as Iāve had these worries since puberty, and I feel so genuinely confused sometimes. I donāt want to be a lesbian, and I donāt want to date or have sex with women, but I also feel so numb and scared of relationships with men. Iām terrified of intimacy (emotional or physical), and I just canāt relate to some of the things people say about SO-OCD.
Pls help me My boy is super expansive with all the girls. He said that he don't want to flirt with them, that it is just his personality. I have a quality time love and it is super hard for me to see him give a lot of attentions to other girls... It makes me feel so unspecial, just one of others... I don't know what to do... i feel so much pain right now because of this, and I'm about to asking a pause; I don't know If it is the right chose, or an rocd compulsion, but I don't want to keep being hurt like that... what should I do??
Ughh I hate myself. I had gone so long without checking and just when I go to check I find out he has added 3 new blonde girls. Itās really upset me tbh to the extent I want to finish our 4.5 year relationship with him. I know they are all women he works with but it makes me feel like why is he adding them? Surely heās interested, some of them are really young too like 7/8 years younger than him. I know he likes blondes. And they have bfs too. But itās still annoyed me. Why did he have to add them? And why has he not added others? Why is it always blondes? Is it maybe just a coincidence that his place are only hiring blondes? Idk. I just feel completely devastated rn and this is exactly why I feel I need to check because I end up missing things like this š I badly want to avoid him at all costs now. Iām calling him all names under the sun rn in my head and feel sick with the thought of him.
What to do when you feel thereās convincing evidence you are your fear? Aka thereās similarities between your behaviour and that of your fear? For me itās a fear Iām aromantic and because I get uncertain/anxious around getting into a relationship Iām worried this is very similar to what aromantic people do. Please donāt give me reassurance - I just canāt resist ruminating over this. It feels like my fear is real and Iām in denial.
I am wondering if you can offer anything, like in the way of counseling or tips for family trying to help someone who has ocd.
Does anyone have ocd so severe that it feels like no matter what youāre doing, youāre doing something wrong? For example, no matter how Iām holding my daughter I feel like itās wrong. If I hold her close to me, far away from me, where my hands are placed, etc. I had to unbuckle her seat straps on her high chair and I felt like i went in too aggressive. The buckle lays right in her crotch and allll I could about, was my fingers being near her crotch. I start to hyper focus on it and it makes me soooo uncomfortable. š. If sheās laying on my chest I start to hyper focus on my breasts and how they feel and I start to focus so hard on making sure they donāt move or anything. The slightest twitch will send me into a spiral. Same thing when sheās sitting on my lap. Iām constantly telling myself ādonāt move donāt move donāt moveā and if my leg does move even the slightest bit I freak out and rush of guilt runs over me. Sometimes I donāt even know if I actually move or not, or if I just imagine it. Itās getting really out of hand. I feel so anxious all of the time and I feel like every move I make is wrong. Iām so stiff around her. Sheās two so she crawls all over me and if she straddles my leg or my foot or lap or anything I feel this brush of guilt take over me that makes me want to vomit. Like I couldāve done something to prevent it. And when I donāt take the steps to prevent it, I feel so guilty. Like I didnāt move out of the way because I wanted it. When doing diaper changes, Iām so careful about where my hands are, where the diaper is, etc. My mind and heart are just racing and I literally have to think about what my next Move is, strategically place my hands so that they arenāt anywhere near anything conceivably dangerous. My stomach is in knots right now because I just feel so guilty about every single movement Iāve made today. Iām constantly on edge and ruminating/preparing for every move I make all of the time.
having a hard day :-( has anyones NOCD therapist helped them get in touch with a psychiatrist or is that something I need to do on my own?
I got prescribed Zoloft by an online app. I took one and my anxiety went away for the day, but so did my OCD thoughts. I couldnāt overthink while conversing with my family or overanalyze a movie I was watching (and relate it obsessively and emotionally back to myself) which felt so relaxing, but it dulled my emotions to the point I felt detached from the people I loved. When the first dose wore off, my OCD thoughts flooded back in, trying to cause panic and I recognized them since they were gone. Now I donāt know what to do. I donāt like dulling my emotions with the medication, but I hate the OCD thoughts. Iām also scared of never having in-depth thoughts if I continue to take them. Does anyone have an opinion on using anti-anxiety meds for OCD?
I donāt mean to ask for reassurance but whatās the difference between having POCD and the real thing
Psalm 37 Verse 23-24 Ā²Ā³The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him. Ā²ā“ Though he may stumble he will not fall. OCD may cause your feet to stumble but you will not fall for God is protecting you x.
Is fear OCD a thing? I fear everything :( Fear health, my mental health, death. Im tired of being tired. Im just tired. Im scared to loose my job/need to quit cause i cant handle it anymore.
Iāve been really good at exposing so-ocd, and it improved a little but now I feel like Iām back to where I started but Iāve not compulsed and now I donāt feel the anxiety of what I once used to have so now it actually feels like Iām gay, but I really donāt want to be
I am weak I hate it Iām scared Iām smiling I said overall but I donāt like any girls but the celebrity I went through a phase of looking at women naked and I was gonna say the opposite sex but I actually like that now make faces and I keep remembering I keep saying this one cause I said her sheās not hot or sexy itās not her the artist by the way itās some other sheās not and I feel funny and I know I need to stop taking Flexeril just to sleep but itās just I keep smiling like I donāt wanna do you wanna make out with boys well just Iām scared I imagine making out with them with boys and then squeezing boobs like I do but I donāt want to hermaphrodite no offense to those people because thatās not something they did and itās not wrong right just unfortunate I guess because it must be like really annoying and Iām rambling. No Iām really scared I quit I donāt wanna enjoy that I donāt want I said I called mine but Iām not bisexual I keep saying my but I donāt want that represents mine when Iām not bisexual I donāt have any bisexuality I donāt want to kiss melon squeeze boobs and I kept canāt stop doing the Home gesture when I donāt want those I just wanna squeeze man and I I keep going funny and fluttering in a :-) I donāt like the celebrity or any other girl thatās how I keep calling I donāt want to feel better sheās not hot or sexy Iāve seen a naked and said she I donāt want to start liking women and I keep smiling weird she doesnāt have a fine buddy sheās not hot or sexy iām scared I am I donāt wanna be over my guy and Iām not gay and Iām scared I canāt stop Iām straight and I felt something and I donāt know I felt something warm and a smile on my face when I imagine kissing a guy and but I donāt want boobs I donāt wanna squeeze them I donāt want anything like that I donāt wanna be itās not mine why do I feel flutter in my stomach thinking about her and I keep smiling over her naked triangle I donāt want her small naked triangle or my I donāt want to be Iām not bisexual Iām not bisexual I wanna squeeze boobs Iām scared I canāt stop doing that Iām just done and I keep saying representing my I donāt have how much then thereās nothing for there to be represented Iām scared I canāt stop doing this hand squeezing gesture Iām not bisexual I donāt want to squeeze Iām scared I make faces on front and I do I donāt need theyāre not delicious I donāt need fat deposits to squeeze I donāt want boobs why do I smile and I keep doing the damn hand jester and making faces like I donāt when I like slim hardly muscle I want pectorals Iām scared theyāre going I donāt want to thatās not how can I say represent how can I call mine when I donāt have any bisexuality I donāt wanna squeeze boobs and make out with me and I donāt I want men and I may face is like I donāt but I like male parts does I called her but sheās not I was getting must be in she is out care sheās not hot or sexy I donāt physically like her sheās not hot or sexy or any girl whether theyāre famous or not I made a negative face and said he I love being straight Iām not bye I imagine the male symbol you know what Volvo has it and I said Q in the center but Iām not queer Iām scared why do I feel fluttering and I keep smiling imagining I donāt like I donāt want women I want then sheās not hot or sexy please someone help me
So Iāve been going through a rough patch with my OCD. I am currently on 15mg of Lexapro. Iāve been on it for about two years I think. I feel like it does itās job but I keep falling into these relapses every couple of months, itās exhausting. So my psychiatrist wants to add 25mg of Clomipramine (Anafranil) and I read the side effectsāespecially about the serotonin syndromeāand now Iām afraid to take it. I donāt know anyone on this combination of drugs so Iām obviously worried. I may ask to try something else instead. But if anyone has any information or experience about them together please let me know.
tw* Im in an urgency and im so confused. I dont want to go to therapy but its my only option to get better. But ocd therapy and erp look kinda pointless when it seems like my thoughts are already true, Ive had so many realizations and epiphanies that ive been gay all my life and it just never occurred to me and now it feels like even my gender is not correct and all I need to do is accept/embrace and itll gradually go away. I think Im just certain about it too. I cant fu**ing kill myself either so now im stuck like this, it literally dosent seem like Ocd, I know what Hocd and intrusive thoughts used to feel like but it dosent feel that way anymore not even one percent. Theres tons of proof idk what to do, I know ive been told my many people here to do therapy but wtf man ,i feel cornered I have no choice but to accept that Im gay and i think once I do I wont even care about all this. Wow, this is so dissapointing
Does anybody have thoughts that come out like statements? Right now I keep saying in my head I donāt know why you act like youāre not bisexual when Iām not! Itās not an act! And now Iām scared I feel like kind of like when you get an itchy scalp except much lighter and down there and I canāt move from my car right now. I canāt stop thinking I donāt know why you act like youāre not when Iām not bisexual and Iām not acting! I donāt understand why I canāt just go to sleep. I just want to sleep. And I donāt like the way boobs stick out and I donāt really wanna be here anymore I donāt wanna die but I donāt want to exist
You guys I canāt stop please help me! I keep saying men not women and then adding only like Iām mad but I donāt want women at all! And I canāt stop I keep saying it so seriously I keep saying midnight women only like a man I want man I donāt even want to say I know I donāt and Iām scared I keep saying but I want men I keep saying that women only I donāt want women at all please help me no I canāt breathe you guys please I canāt swallow! I canāt stop saying men not women and adding only but I only want men not women and I keep saying not only I donāt I canāt breathe you guys I donāt want women I want men not women why do I keep adding I donāt want women why do I say only one man I donāt want women I canāt stop please help! I keep saying it seriously men and women only I donāt want women why do I add only! I want men NOT WOMEN I WANT MEN ONLY NOT WOMEN Iām scared of why and how I said that like I was so serious I kept adding only and I canāt swallow my throat is tight and my tongue feels too big for my mouth no I want men not women Iām at midnight women I want men I canāt breathe I want men only not women
I feel like in order to function in my failing marriage right now, controlling my OCD is one of the biggest challenges I can face. My spouse has dealt with it for years and she is over it and me. I confessed something last night and it ruined her mood and she is incredibly pissed off at me. She told me that I am a horrible person. It stings. For every confession I perform to alleviate the anxiety, there are 10 or more that I control. I hate this and living in a situation that is toxic. I donāt really blame her because OCD can be annoying and hurtful to someone else. I just wish she could see through the confession, know that I am trying and realize its the OCD. Oh and I am the most selfish and narcissistic person alive too according to her. So yeah, theres that as well.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
