Welcome to
the NOCD Community

** TW ** Can someone help? Has anyone ever had the strong compulsion to say something they don’t mean? This happened to me. Sorry for the stream of consciousness: I’m scared I keep insisting that I do but I don’t want to I don’t want to get over him I don’t want to and then I kept insisting but I don’t want to switch teams why did I kept insisting that I do I don’t really why can’t I stop I said don’t want to I want It to stop not my feelings for him and I act like he’s but he’s not ugly and I specially don’t want to switch teams why did I compulsively in so strong and keep insisting otherwise I don’t want to switch teams I keep saying it’s not it is that I don’t want to I don’t want to find another guy and I act like since he’s not an option at least right now that maybe I don’t actively want to I don’t want to switch teams subconsciously I don’t want to switch teams at all I don’t want to Why can’t I stop insisting that I do when I don’t want to I don’t want to switch teams

Is anyone here from Brazil ? I need help to find people who do ERP here or if some you could help me in how to do self ERP or maybe getting therapy online ?

I’m trying so hard but this memory is killing me, how can something that feels so real be false. I feel so much guilt and shame, my house is trashed. My poor kids. I feel Like there no point in keeping things nice anymore, I’m just a fraud and my daughter remembers what I did and just won’t tell me. I want my life back.

I'm on the verge.....anyone help ?

tips for cheating ocd

Happy sunday night y'all!🤗💗 Please give me some props for having an amazing day despite my ex trying to reach out for the 2nd time 😩. I wasn't even triggered, which is a major win! A picture from today's outing with a friend :) its been a gorgeous day today 😊

Not really ocd related nore deoression related but ive recently really just had this bsd episode of feeling unlovable. I dont meet the criteria for clinical depressiin but this existential crisis kinda sucks. I really want to figure out what love is because theres a point whdre a person becomes unlovable right ? I read about people with low functioning autistic kids who destroy the house and people who rely too much on their partners when depressed and the oartner leaves then fir sucking theyyre soul out. I have a fear of beung unlovable and my mind is cknstantly trying tk fgure out what love is and what being umlovable is and whether to shut myself off to the world to never get hurt or to try and form close bonds and whether that is worth a shot becuase i dont want to rely too much on someone and be umlovable vut the only eay to get close to soemone is ope img up to them so where is that line exactly ? I dont want to talk to my friends on that cuz what if they hate me then? But ive noticed they are close ti each other cuz they talk about thir problems. Im the funny carefree friend no one knows about the sadder side of me and i feel so unlovable but logcially know im jpt umlovable because im jot an incovenience tk ithers but im afraid i will be if i shpw people that part of myself so i really dont know ehat to do. I tried telling my therapist who is amazimg for icd but kinda patrinziign and annoyung and treats me like a child when it comes to de0ression. I hate her aplroach but her erp suggestions are good

I see so many people with SO-OCD talk about genuinely knowing their “true” orientation, but still having the irrational fears. This doesn’t really resonate with me, as I’ve had these worries since puberty, and I feel so genuinely confused sometimes. I don’t want to be a lesbian, and I don’t want to date or have sex with women, but I also feel so numb and scared of relationships with men. I’m terrified of intimacy (emotional or physical), and I just can’t relate to some of the things people say about SO-OCD.

Pls help me My boy is super expansive with all the girls. He said that he don't want to flirt with them, that it is just his personality. I have a quality time love and it is super hard for me to see him give a lot of attentions to other girls... It makes me feel so unspecial, just one of others... I don't know what to do... i feel so much pain right now because of this, and I'm about to asking a pause; I don't know If it is the right chose, or an rocd compulsion, but I don't want to keep being hurt like that... what should I do??

Ughh I hate myself. I had gone so long without checking and just when I go to check I find out he has added 3 new blonde girls. It’s really upset me tbh to the extent I want to finish our 4.5 year relationship with him. I know they are all women he works with but it makes me feel like why is he adding them? Surely he’s interested, some of them are really young too like 7/8 years younger than him. I know he likes blondes. And they have bfs too. But it’s still annoyed me. Why did he have to add them? And why has he not added others? Why is it always blondes? Is it maybe just a coincidence that his place are only hiring blondes? Idk. I just feel completely devastated rn and this is exactly why I feel I need to check because I end up missing things like this 😔 I badly want to avoid him at all costs now. I’m calling him all names under the sun rn in my head and feel sick with the thought of him.

What to do when you feel there’s convincing evidence you are your fear? Aka there’s similarities between your behaviour and that of your fear? For me it’s a fear I’m aromantic and because I get uncertain/anxious around getting into a relationship I’m worried this is very similar to what aromantic people do. Please don’t give me reassurance - I just can’t resist ruminating over this. It feels like my fear is real and I’m in denial.

I am wondering if you can offer anything, like in the way of counseling or tips for family trying to help someone who has ocd.

Does anyone have ocd so severe that it feels like no matter what you’re doing, you’re doing something wrong? For example, no matter how I’m holding my daughter I feel like it’s wrong. If I hold her close to me, far away from me, where my hands are placed, etc. I had to unbuckle her seat straps on her high chair and I felt like i went in too aggressive. The buckle lays right in her crotch and allll I could about, was my fingers being near her crotch. I start to hyper focus on it and it makes me soooo uncomfortable. 😓. If she’s laying on my chest I start to hyper focus on my breasts and how they feel and I start to focus so hard on making sure they don’t move or anything. The slightest twitch will send me into a spiral. Same thing when she’s sitting on my lap. I’m constantly telling myself “don’t move don’t move don’t move” and if my leg does move even the slightest bit I freak out and rush of guilt runs over me. Sometimes I don’t even know if I actually move or not, or if I just imagine it. It’s getting really out of hand. I feel so anxious all of the time and I feel like every move I make is wrong. I’m so stiff around her. She’s two so she crawls all over me and if she straddles my leg or my foot or lap or anything I feel this brush of guilt take over me that makes me want to vomit. Like I could’ve done something to prevent it. And when I don’t take the steps to prevent it, I feel so guilty. Like I didn’t move out of the way because I wanted it. When doing diaper changes, I’m so careful about where my hands are, where the diaper is, etc. My mind and heart are just racing and I literally have to think about what my next Move is, strategically place my hands so that they aren’t anywhere near anything conceivably dangerous. My stomach is in knots right now because I just feel so guilty about every single movement I’ve made today. I’m constantly on edge and ruminating/preparing for every move I make all of the time.

having a hard day :-( has anyones NOCD therapist helped them get in touch with a psychiatrist or is that something I need to do on my own?

I got prescribed Zoloft by an online app. I took one and my anxiety went away for the day, but so did my OCD thoughts. I couldn’t overthink while conversing with my family or overanalyze a movie I was watching (and relate it obsessively and emotionally back to myself) which felt so relaxing, but it dulled my emotions to the point I felt detached from the people I loved. When the first dose wore off, my OCD thoughts flooded back in, trying to cause panic and I recognized them since they were gone. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t like dulling my emotions with the medication, but I hate the OCD thoughts. I’m also scared of never having in-depth thoughts if I continue to take them. Does anyone have an opinion on using anti-anxiety meds for OCD?

I don’t mean to ask for reassurance but what’s the difference between having POCD and the real thing

Psalm 37 Verse 23-24 ²³The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him. ²⁴ Though he may stumble he will not fall. OCD may cause your feet to stumble but you will not fall for God is protecting you x.

Is fear OCD a thing? I fear everything :( Fear health, my mental health, death. Im tired of being tired. Im just tired. Im scared to loose my job/need to quit cause i cant handle it anymore.

I’ve been really good at exposing so-ocd, and it improved a little but now I feel like I’m back to where I started but I’ve not compulsed and now I don’t feel the anxiety of what I once used to have so now it actually feels like I’m gay, but I really don’t want to be

I am weak I hate it I’m scared I’m smiling I said overall but I don’t like any girls but the celebrity I went through a phase of looking at women naked and I was gonna say the opposite sex but I actually like that now make faces and I keep remembering I keep saying this one cause I said her she’s not hot or sexy it’s not her the artist by the way it’s some other she’s not and I feel funny and I know I need to stop taking Flexeril just to sleep but it’s just I keep smiling like I don’t wanna do you wanna make out with boys well just I’m scared I imagine making out with them with boys and then squeezing boobs like I do but I don’t want to hermaphrodite no offense to those people because that’s not something they did and it’s not wrong right just unfortunate I guess because it must be like really annoying and I’m rambling. No I’m really scared I quit I don’t wanna enjoy that I don’t want I said I called mine but I’m not bisexual I keep saying my but I don’t want that represents mine when I’m not bisexual I don’t have any bisexuality I don’t want to kiss melon squeeze boobs and I kept can’t stop doing the Home gesture when I don’t want those I just wanna squeeze man and I I keep going funny and fluttering in a :-) I don’t like the celebrity or any other girl that’s how I keep calling I don’t want to feel better she’s not hot or sexy I’ve seen a naked and said she I don’t want to start liking women and I keep smiling weird she doesn’t have a fine buddy she’s not hot or sexy i’m scared I am I don’t wanna be over my guy and I’m not gay and I’m scared I can’t stop I’m straight and I felt something and I don’t know I felt something warm and a smile on my face when I imagine kissing a guy and but I don’t want boobs I don’t wanna squeeze them I don’t want anything like that I don’t wanna be it’s not mine why do I feel flutter in my stomach thinking about her and I keep smiling over her naked triangle I don’t want her small naked triangle or my I don’t want to be I’m not bisexual I’m not bisexual I wanna squeeze boobs I’m scared I can’t stop doing that I’m just done and I keep saying representing my I don’t have how much then there’s nothing for there to be represented I’m scared I can’t stop doing this hand squeezing gesture I’m not bisexual I don’t want to squeeze I’m scared I make faces on front and I do I don’t need they’re not delicious I don’t need fat deposits to squeeze I don’t want boobs why do I smile and I keep doing the damn hand jester and making faces like I don’t when I like slim hardly muscle I want pectorals I’m scared they’re going I don’t want to that’s not how can I say represent how can I call mine when I don’t have any bisexuality I don’t wanna squeeze boobs and make out with me and I don’t I want men and I may face is like I don’t but I like male parts does I called her but she’s not I was getting must be in she is out care she’s not hot or sexy I don’t physically like her she’s not hot or sexy or any girl whether they’re famous or not I made a negative face and said he I love being straight I’m not bye I imagine the male symbol you know what Volvo has it and I said Q in the center but I’m not queer I’m scared why do I feel fluttering and I keep smiling imagining I don’t like I don’t want women I want then she’s not hot or sexy please someone help me