- Date posted
- 4y
Please tell me if I’m completely in the wrong: When u get in a fight in a relationship, there’s 2 sides and usually it’s not oh what u did was worse, it’s simply, hey that hurt me and hey that hurt me. Both parties are valid. Unless one reallly fucked up and the other didn’t at all. Me and my bf been together a year and we were on & off for 4 technically, he talked to so many girls during the “off” periods. He wanted to be single back then. He did what he wanted with no regard to me. I forgave all that cuz we never officially dated and I had my own shit too. Anyway, officially together and he hasn’t fucked up once by flirting or any of that. Or so I think. But he has spoken to people even tho he knows I don’t like it. My two biggest and ONLY boundaries are: don’t talk to any girls we’ve had issues with/new girls like that. And don’t like half naked pics of girls u know. Lol it may sound dumb but it’s HOW I FEEL. I’m not gonna change my boundaries for anyone. Maybe they’ll change one day but now? That’s what they are. So he spoke to this one girl 3 months ago just asking what bar she was at cuz it looked cool & I was upset cuz why is he even responding to her? We got into it, he wanted a break. Cuz I was accusing him of something, when I just simply was explaining hey this hurts please don’t do that. It’s a boundary. U broke it. I was in the wrong tho cuz it wasn’t cool to “accuse him” we worked it out. I changed my bad behavior going on his phone and proving it to him. I had a slip up but overall, no urges like that. Then last night. I had saw he snapped her again. But this time it was very recent. And I was very upset seeing her damn name again. I mean I asked him not to do that out of respect for me months ago. And he clearly didn’t care. And so I asked him like have u spoken to her and he said no. I asked if he’d show me proof and he got so mad he kicked me out his house. (During this time his dog had a huge accident he’s very old and it was just so bad) I thought he was finished so I asked him about it but then when I went down, he was still cleaning. I should’ve left but I couldn’t and I tried to help him but he told me to stay away from them. The fighting continued and yelling came in and he showed me their messages. He deleted what he sent her (asking what bar she was at) and she said she saw it why did he delete it and he said someone always finds out they speak and he isn’t allowed to talk to her cuz someone thinks they wanna fuck each other. And he sees nothing wrong with that. He thinks he was just telling her oh that’s why I deleted it and why I don’t talk to u. And I don’t get how he doesn’t see it that way. But u can’t force someone to see things ur way right! So after he was denying that he was in the wrong and yelling to kick me out I impulsively yelled out “im done we’re done”. He ran with that and he hasn’t given it up. So we broke up. He says me bringing it up at the time I did, with his dog, is what broke his heart & even when I explained I didn’t know he wasn’t done, it didn’t matter. And that I broke up with him & I couldn’t take that back. Even tho he has said the same to me before in the past. And I didn’t run with it. I thought we were a lot stronger to get past it in the moment but he just always wants me gone when he’s mad. I get space, but I even tried to go in the other room and talk in an hour. He said he feels hatred for me and oh yeah he was drunk when this all happened and when he drinks he’s a diff person. But he sobered up and still feels this way. And he still doesn’t see my side & thinks what I did was way worse and we’ll see if we still wanna be together in a few days. It just sucks. Cuz now I’m putting my feelings to the side cuz I fucked up more?