Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Does anyone think or agree that people of the same race/culture have the “ultimate connection/understanding?” Genuinely curious.

I should start by saying I have never been diagnosed with OCD or any mental disorder, but I’ve been researching ROCD per my girlfriend’s suggestion on and off for 6+ months now, and all of the symptoms and descriptions have hit home for me. However, I worry that I’m using ROCD as an excuse for continuously convincing myself she’s enough for me. The core of my fears is finding others attractive, and more attractive, than her — when I see a cute girl, or someone with features I naturally desire, my ruminations/episodes begin. After that it doesn’t take long to lead to doubting the validity of the entire relationship, and whether I even love her at all or want to be with her. It doesn’t help that we go to a university, so I’m inevitably surrounded by attractive people constantly. My main fear is that I’m settling for her appearance, even though I’m attracted to her and, truth is, I think she is hotter than me. And I feel like I tell myself that the only thing wrong with her is her appearance, because she is everything I want otherwise (personality, compatibility), but she’s just not my physical type. Every time that these fears and doubts build up from rumination, we talk about it. The end factor is that it almost always ends up being a result of intrusive thoughts. In fact, the last time we talked about this (about two weeks ago), we had makeup sex and I had an intrusive thought of a particular girl that’s in one of my classes. I did everything I could to purge this thought so I could enjoy the moment, and eventually it subsided — but I found myself “checking” by opening my eyes and staring at her throughout for reassurance that it’s her I want. I then told her about it right afterwards because of the massive guilt I felt, and she was a bit less understanding (rightfully..). We’re now at a breaking point, where she loves me and I’m pretty sure I love her, but I’m still having these doubts and I don’t know what to do to deal with them. I am convincing myself that they are significant and important because of their consistency now that it has been 8 months of us dating. I have told her I need time to think about this and figure out what I want, and I know this is destroying her, so I need to decide to break up or not now, because I can’t stand knowing she’s going through this. At what point am I just fighting this “gut feeling” because I know I’m settling, or is it just ROCD lying to me because she is so important to me?

Is what i have and thinking actually ocd or just because its easier to accept it and cause of fear i call it ocd and not denial..?? Cause its easier to know its ocd….I haven’t been professionally diagnosed yet.. trying to find a therapist but what if he or she tells me something like you need to come out and you are not accepting and its making things just mad for you and it isn’t ocd?!? Then what i am calm while writing this so will i be calm when i hear this?! Was it always like this?!? All the past was a lie?!? How can something continue on for 3 years what if its scare and me not accepting and always have been living a lie and forcing my attraction to guys but noticing girls and thinking stuff that feels normal and no more intrusive?!? How is any of this ocd?!? I am going to be 20 and still single all this points somewhere?!? And i write all this knowing all this could be just my fake compulsions to tell its ocd and not denial?!? And why do i come constantly feel like i know its denial and i am just faking all this!!! Like such a strong i know?!! How am I supposed to fight that?!?

anyone got any tips/advice on how to overcome somatic ocd/ sensorimotor ocd

a week into a really bad episode and jm still coming into work. im nauseous, shaking, and taking cry breaks. taking a week off later this month. please send any success stories of overcoming extra dark times. need hope

Yesterday was so good, I had my first session with my NOCD therapist. Then today comes and I’m in a whirlwind. Nothing feels real everything feels so fake. I have intrusive thoughts slipping into my head every second. They aren’t even what ifs they are now statements. The fact that they are statements rather than what ifs or questions make me feel like a horrible person. Instead of what if I don’t love my boyfriend. Or what if I don’t want to be with him. It’s I don’t want to. And I don’t. It’s causing a lot of anxiety. And then I think well is this bothering me enough? Do I feel scared enough? Does the thought of you leaving him bother you enough? What if it doesn’t? What if I do leave? What if what if what if. I feel crazy.

Ok so my ocd theme is narcissism right. I posted this on tumblr and someone that has npd replied, I feel bad for freaking out bc it’s not their fault they have it and it’s so stigmatized but at the same time it feels like such a huge exposure that I wasn’t ready for. Their comment looks like something I would say, so I can’t rule out having npd based off of it. Just looking at the word makes me feel sick and I really wanna look at her profile but I can’t bring myself to. Previously the only thing that’s rly comforted me is the fact that I might not have npd bc I have a lot of empathy, but this girl seems really nice. Fuuuuuuuck The last line is “disproving the catastrophic thinking trap, because it really isn’t the end of the world to have it even if it’s hard sometimes” She’s right but I was not ready

I heard Christian’s saying god can call someone out to be single forever. I‘m scared. Is this true ?

So this is not at all OCD related it’s something I’m dealing with at work and I need advice not Ocd reassurance kind of advice but I figured someone here might relate and I know this is an OCD community but I have no one else around me who quite understands how annoying this is… So there’s this guy I work with. He’s 36 and he’s never had a real girlfriend. He gets rejected by every woman he tries to get with because in my opinion he’s very desperate and tries waaaaay too hard. I get having a crush on someone. I’ve been there but not to the point I kept bothering them about it. He has told me he likes me and I only see him as a friend/co worker because I’m sorry I’m not attracted to him at all, he’s very immature and annoying. He’s 13 years older than me and I’ve told him time and time again I do not like him like that and to stop and that it’s getting to the point where it’s making me uncomfortable because no matter what I tell him, he won’t stop. I’ve brought it up to management and my closest friends I work with and they tell me that they talk to him about it and he’s making it out like he’s innocent but to me it’s really started to freak me out because when ever I laugh or joke around with him or my friends he takes it that I like him and I don’t that’s just how I am I’m very silly and more outgoing than when I first started working there 3 years ago and when I tell him that I don’t like him and to stop he gets all pouty and he’s lazy at work as it is but then he gets worse and treats me crap and then I’m the one who has to apologize and then it starts all over again. When I brought it up to the assistant manager who I’m very close with, she told me that I need to be more stern I guess about it and said that I need to tell him I will report him for sexual harassment if he doesn’t stop and I don’t want to do that because he’s my friend and I don’t want the situation to get ugly. At my job we are all very close and like I said I get having a crush, I had one on a guy that’s still currently working there and it hurts like hell because he decided to sleep with my ex best friend who also works there but that’s besides the point. I just don’t know what else to do. Should I report him to the store manager? Who has probably already talked to him about it too? I feel like I should quit but I’m sorry I’m not going to leave my job I’ve been at for 3 years because the guy won’t take a hint

I’ve been having Hocd thoughts lately- they come and go every few months. The months without them are so nice and the months with them are hell. I am on Prozac which helps but it makes me have a low sex drive. Because of this, I don’t have interest in having sex with my boyfriend often. Because of low interest, my Hocd makes me think I’m not attracted to him and that it’s a “sign” when that’s not it at all. It’s a vicious cycle. Does anyone else have this happen?

Hi! I’m wondering if anyone has shared with teachers, supervisors, colleagues, etc that you have ocd and how it affects you at work/school. If so how did it go? Some background: I struggle with OCD at work (like being really detailed, and revising emails, plus rumination about social things) but I always try to hide it and say I can push through it / do better. On the one hand, hiding it certainly makes things lonely and makes it hard to advocate for myself when I feel like I need to take on less. On the other hand, I don’t want people to make excuses for me, think less of me, or be condescending. Any thoughts or experiences would be great to hear!

I’ve seen a few people talking about rocd where they get fears they aren’t attracted to or in love with their partner, I’ve gotten thoughts like this before. However, I also get the opposite where I get afraid my partner isn’t attracted to or in love with me and that they will leave me soon. This leads to a lot of reassurance seeking like asking if they hate me or are sick of me etc. I try really hard to suppress it because I know that can push someone away. I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles with this or could this be something else like attachment issues?

Yesterday at work I had a conversation with my bi best friend and her bi boyfriend and I kept having thoughts that I was bi and it felt very strong and I felt convinced that I was having feelings for my best friend and I think I got it confused with platonic feelings because I lover her to death because she’s my best friend and that’s it I never had a friend like her before so I think I got it confused. But now I think they both believe I’m bi and I don’t want to be for multiple reasons. I’m absolutely terrified. I’m a Christian and I have no judgment whatsoever to anyone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or whatever. It’s in my blood to love everyone as Jesus did. But I don’t want to be and I’m scared that because they are both my co workers and they like to spread rumors, that everyone is going to think I’m bisexual and I don’t know how to deal with all that. What do I do? 😭

Tomorrow me and my “bf” of a year are talking to decide to get back together or not. We been on a break for two months and so I asked if we could talk and establish it you know. And he agreed and said he’d evaluate how the last 2 weeks have been because we started to hangout a lot and talk every day again. So technically it’s his decision. He said either we get back together or u never speak to me again. And it’s just really nerve wrecking for me. He’s trying to keep the same light headed funny energy but it’s hard to go along with that when not certain what the answer will be. I’m just scared. I want to be with him. And I know I’ll be okay whatever the outcome but I don’t want it to end. So I can only hope he doesn’t either. It’s scary.

Logically, I know how unrealistic a TV romance is, but this show has me in a spiral that I am settling or that my relationship isn’t passionate enough. I wonder if it should feel different than it does, I wonder if I love him enough, all because of freaking Kate and Anthony who are fake people!!! I love getting lost in a good period drama romance. I just want to be able to do it without being plagued by relationship doubts. Can anyone relate and how do you combat this?

Has anyone with harm OCD had their anxiety get so intense your OCD starts telling you “I’ve had enough I’m just going to do it” or something along those lines. That just happened to me and it was terrifying. Not sure what to do in those extreme moments which leads to me questioning myself and feels like a set back as I felt like I was making progress.

Okay so I really reallyyy need someone to talk to or get advice from. And I need them to be real with me and really be honest. Because I literally have no friends and so I have no one to talk to. So me and my boyfriend were driving to the city that is near us to eat food and have a good time. As we were in the car, i was having anxiety with him driving and so I told him to be careful and he got super defensive and started raising his voice at me telling me that like “I’m not stupid” and “you don’t know what I’ve been through in my childhood” and he just started a whole rant. And I understand him but then out of nowhere he started to even get defensive towards me because I told him to be careful. And so he even started to say “I’ll literally stop talking to you and I’ll get over it” and he just kept going. I’m kind of sensitive and I didn’t really like the things he was telling me so I started to get emotional and trying to calm him down and it even got worst. He also knows I overthink a lot and he was saying “I don’t give a fuck what is going on in your head, you need to stop being like that” when I don’t feel like I was doing anything. Literally the whole day was bad for us. And when we were in public, he was being super nice to everyone and it just made me sad how he’s not like that with me so now I’m just trying to explain how I feel with him but always gets defensive and brings up how I act so we can never really have an actual conversation about it. And now I don’t know what to do or if I’m just over reacting. It just makes me upset how he acts like he’s the only one going through something and I don’t know the right words I should tell him or if I even should explain myself

Does anyone else feel like they’re OCD turns off for a couple days? Like you go through an intense period of having intrusive thoughts and feeling the need to confess and then you only start to get thoughts here and there? And you try to keep yourself from having the thoughts but you’re not sure if it’s avoidance? Like I have felt sooo much better the last couple of days, especially in the morning, I live for those times of quiet in my head. But I still haven’t been able to accept myself for the things I might have done, like I can’t accept myself still because of my OCD. This probably sounds a little jumbled but I would like to think someone can relate lol

Hi Everyone, I had a quick question and I’m looking to see if someone in this community might be able to help. I added a trigger warning because I wanted to be sensitive to the community, though I don’t believe there’s anything that could be too triggering here hopefully. My girlfriend is diagnosed with OCD. We’ve lived together for 6 months and it hasn’t been the easiest, though, I’m trying my best to make it work because I truly do love this person. She will constantly ask me for small favors which include: - grabbing food for her while she stays on the couch to not have to clean her feet or take her socks off before walking on the ground. - having me washing the clothes all the time, because she feels that I use overall less amounts of cleaning products therefore it’s less intoxicating for her. - getting up to get alcohol wipes because her dog licked her hand and she thinks her dog’s mouth is dirty - get up to wipe my dogs butt after she poops because it could be dirty. These are all small examples, however they will happen constantly. I try my best to not let them bother me, however, I’d like to think that any person would be bother if they were asked to do something and they had to drop what they were doing in that moment or risk their partners getting triggered. I understand that sometimes she will need help, and truly I don’t mind doing most things for her, however, often times her “asking” me for things comes out in a very demanding way. She will often times demand for things to be done without asking “please” or kindly. This bothers me and I’ve expressed this to her. Tonight, she told me that she wanted to have certain pants washed so she could use them tomorrow. To which I responded kindly, “yeah that’s great I’m sure you can get them washed by tonight”. Her response, “I wanted you to wash them”. I responded by saying, “can you wash them yourself this time?” She then proceeded to getting upset and putting them to wash. In all honesty, I would have been 1000% more inclined to do it for her without any “buts”, however, it was the way she asked or rather told me. If she had just asked “hey do you think you could please do this, or do that for me?”, I wouldn’t even care at all. So the big question, tonight she claimed that her OCD is what isn’t allowing her to say “please” or ask kindly for favors. I understand in “triggered” stages that could be more common and I wouldn’t expect someone to take their time to ask for things nicely when they are triggered or panicking. However, for simple favors in order to avoid them going through certain routine OCD rituals (hand washing, cleaning, etc) is it normal or common for someone with OCD to just simply not be able to say PLEASE or ask nicely if I’m doing a favor for them? I was raised in a household where asking politely and showing others respect is a must. I’ve explained this however, she claims that she isn’t capable of doing this because of her OCD. Is this a real or known thing? I appreciate any feedback, insight or support with this matter. I truly don’t mind doing 100% of the things in the house, my only request is that I’m asked respectfully or politely to do them. Is this asking for too much?

how is everyone going? also just wanting some tips on navigating ramadan with ocd - i’m starting to notice i have praying compulsions but i don’t know how i can work that around ramadan when we’re doing dhikr.