Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I keep obsessing that I'm picking the wrong career. I've had some bad luck and I want a career change. I've been out of college for 3 years now and I spent hours researching myself and what I want and it's driving me crazy that I can't be with a job that's stable and long term. I Google and question often if I picked a bad major since I can't seem to get my foot in the door. I'm just afraid I'll waste money if I learn new/wrong since I'm already in debt. Any advice? I feel like my whole life is work and stability focused and I can't really do what I enjoy because it seems like I'm headed for such an inconsistent job life if I continue with customer service and design. Not to mention, I am very sensitive in jobs and desperate to find a company that will work with me and not use me as a temporary or seasonal fix after I worked long hours and overtime in the office.

Trigger warning for contamination ocd. I saw a dark water spot on the bathroom floor. While it looked like water and not blood ocd keeps making me paranoid it was blood which is my major trigger. How should I deal with this uncertainty and what are some coping mechanisms I can use? Thanks in advance.

A little clarification on my (and many others’) experience with HOCD. Yes, “I don’t care what my sexuality is, I just wanna know for sure” makes the case for HOCD stronger and more ‘qualified’ sounding- however that is not the only HOCD can manifest. Saying that, can trigger some HOCD sufferers who are simply weary of identifying as lgbtq (an understandable fear). Do NOT get me wrong however. I would do ANYTHING for my friends who are bi and gay. I love them SO dearly and will fight for them for forever. Lgbtq folk who struggle with their identities, and not being loved by the people who are supposed to love them no matter what- INSPIRE me with their resilience. Their strength. Their confidence to live out who they are to the fullest extent. I watched the movie Love, Simon and cried like a baby, and am incredibly excited that Pete Buttigieg is the USA’s first openly gay presidential candidate. However this does not discount the struggles that many lgbtq people face. So many are not accepted by their families, have extremely difficult life transitions, and agonize over coming out. These are not things that people willingly want to go through. Is is completely unreasonable for someone suffering with HOCD to also fear these things? As an example (I’m black)- there is a difference in saying that you wouldn’t want to be black because you believe we are less than, versus saying that you wouldn’t want to struggle with the same things that we do. Just because you understand the trials and tribulations that black people go through in this country and would not want that for yourself, does NOT mean you are racist. It simply means you understand that there is pain. And no human willingly wants pain. Although these are exact things lgbtq people have to deal with (making HOCD distinctly different from most other pure o themes because it becomes impossible to differentiate us from people actually struggling with their identity) it shouldn’t be ignored that HOCD sufferers fear them too! Why wouldn’t we? This is such a deep rooted issue for sufferers because, where you could say someone who is suffering with POCD would never hurt a child simply because their thoughts horrify them (and a real pedophile wouldn’t be scared of their thoughts) you can’t say the same for HOCD. For some of us HOCD people who have these specific fears, it’s even more difficult to trust that what we have is ocd and it’s even more difficult to explain to someone else that what we have is ocd. I’ve had different themes of OCD throughout my life and the obsessive and compulsive behaviors have been the same, but this one makes me feel like I don’t even get to qualify. What a mind-fuck for us, huh? Also understand, this definitely isn’t my only fear. I have been attracted to, day-dreamed about, and desperately wanted to be with one gender my entire life. Having a husband was something I’ve wanted for so very long. It IS a part of who I am and what I want. It’s distressing to think this could all be lost one day. To have these ‘dreams’ stolen by obsessive thoughts, and be made to believe that it was all a lie- is just as hard to deal with as any other form of ocd. When I envision the life that ocd is telling me I “actually” want- I’m filled with sadness. How do any of the rest of you deal with your ocd telling you that you want (or want to do) something- that you actually don’t? I know this can be controversial, and truly truly hope I do not offend anyone- lgbtq friends, I truly do love you. I just want everyone to know that what we can struggle with within each theme, can be very different- but none are any less important or qualified than the others. If you truly disagree and want to share, please be kind. I am just as fragile as a lot of us on here. I’m suffering too.

is addiction more common amongst ocd sufferers? drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee.. whatever really, anything you can get addicted to. or is it pretty much the same as any other person?

I don't feel supported by my family... Just exigencies.

Does anyone here get disassociated or disconnected from themselves ?

[Being late] [Advice pls] Hi! :) Well, it's my first time talking here but I need some advices on some issue. Well, I don't have OCD but I'm very anxious and manifest some of the anxiety in some obsessive characteristics (I'm in therapy btw), but the thing is that I have symptoms pretty similar to Contamination OCD and it's making things hard. I usually am very impuntual but now it's increasing and it's affecting hugely my responsibilities. Could be part that I wash my hands a lot and take too much time washing and cleaning my teeth, but also maybe other stuff influences as well. So, I'm asking please for some tips or advice with it since I feel the problem is bigger than other people face and those advices helps, but not as enough as the complicated that I am right now. Everything will be welcome, thanks :)

Has anybody done ERP for False Memories? Thanks in advance!

hey, i have a question to people with obsessions and intrusive thoughts about sexual orientation. i too have a little tiny amount of worries about being any other sexual orientation than i think i am now, but they dont bother me that much. i see a lot of people here have these thoughts in huge portions. my question is, what is it that makes you afraid of it? i know this could seem like a really rude question, but its asked out of curiosity; does it have to do with internalised homophobia? or is it because your current sexuality is very strong and being anything else would completely change your identity? i just wonder a lot

do you guys smoke weed? why or why not? like what does it do to ur ocd

There is a simple cure for OCD. I only came back to this app to help people. Just a little bit ago I thought my life was ruined, OCD is now a joke to me...

again just had this - WHAT IF IM ATTRACTED TO THIS GIRL?. When I think that my brain feels like it has a cloud over it

Ugh, I went to my therapist today and she said in the last minutes of the session: No, but who knows. Some people with forty years or something discover their sexuality is other. We are here to stop make you obsessing and worrying. The theme is not important, so who knows. And it's like "thaaaaank you", know Im afraid for all the week with this in my head. What a bad way of portraying it, seriously. I know it is true and that is okay, and I know who I feel about it but these thought only make my rumination go wild. In some way is important to choose your words. She is great and all but sometimes I CAN'T.

Anyone with ADHD that is, or was on medication for it? Has anyone found an ADHD stimulant medication that helps their ADHD but doesn’t worsen their OCD? ?

Pocd is really eating at me right now. I’m getting more and more convinced that I’m actually a pedophile. I’m not even sure if I’m having intrusive thoughts or if I’m suppressing fantasies. There’s a lot of moral debates going on in my mind and it’s convincing me that I also like bestiality, incest, etc.

TRIGGER WARNING ABOUT POCD. So fucking what if everyone thinks I'm a pedophile (I'm not). I go red around children a lot, because I worry about going red in situations and it has fucked up my life, I seem nervous, words trigger me, like if they need to go to the toilet I go red in the face. But to be honest, so fucking what, worse that can happen is everyone thinks I'm a pedophile and I be taken to court and they say I look shifty around children when certain things are mentioned. Then what? I go to prison due to false accusations? Well fuck it. I'd be happier in a jail sell cause I'd know I'd be scared of fuck all else after that. I don't want to be around children cause I see they pick up on my anxiety when I go red in the face and it makes them feel uncomfortable. Cause I go red and awkward when toilet habits are mentioned. I want to tell my whole family to never come round ever. Like just leave me alone if you don't want to start doubting me as a human. I am not a monster. You know what, at this point I feel like just fucking making up a load of crap to get put in a jail sell so I can face my fear. I worry about things going missing. I go red when purses are opened and bags are opened, when I walk out of shops. I just go red and awkward. It feels horrible. It feels like guilt when I have done nothing. Why would anyone actually do this stuff? If I get this without doing anything I'm mind fucked on how people must feel after they've done shit things. I worry all the time about what people might think. My ultimate fear in life is everyone hating me and me going to prison due to people accusing me of stuff I haven't done. But actual fuck it at this point, I'm no harm to anyone and I don't deserve to die so I'm not ganna kill myself because I think everyone thinks I'm a monster. They can think what they want and I will suffer on in hope that this shit will go or I will feel brave enough to tell everyone these ocd thoughts. But I fear they won't believe me. They'll know I'm innocent when we're in heaven. I hate obsessive compulsive disorder.

Okay. Do you really think all of the question you put here as reassurance are really going to help you? This is not gonna heal you. Please think twice. Coming here and nonstop posting about all of your doubts about your obsessions every day will harm you more than you think. Think twice, please. You don't need that to find an answer. You already know is ocd. You already know what's going on. Stop the cycle. Scape this shit.

Does anybody here struggle with existential obsessions? Like ruminating on issues like morality, the meaning of life, etc?

i'm having such a rough night.... i feel like i truly am a P who's just in denial

Feeling a bit low at the moment. I’ve had quite a lot of highs like I used a public toilet and wiped whilst there was children around which I would never have been able to do or even write and admit through fear of thoughts and anxiety. Ive been using the works toilets. Ive not been doing as many rituals or as often. I’ve been going out a lot more, been seeing someone etc. But I went out yesterday with a friend and she drove us back and her daughter’s pants were on the front seat floor where I had to sit and I was trying not to look and think about the worry of it so I don’t know if my boots touched them and now I’m worried the boots have contaminated my place. This person I’ve been seeing has also kind of admitted that they’re not over their ex but not in a way that they want to stop seeing me. But I’ve decided to step back because I’ve been with someone before hung up on their ex and had my heart shattered and I don’t want to risk my happiness by going through that again. But I now feel really down and like I’m never good enough for anyone like my ex wanted this other girl. This guy is still wanting this other girl. And I’m kinda just someone people settle for in hope of getting over those girls. It’s then triggering thoughts that I’m not good enough for friends as I’m never my friends first choice, none of them really message me first. Or I’m not good enough for my family as they never really compliment or say they’re proud of me because they don’t agree with my mental health. I guess I’m dwelling on it all and letting it get me down because one thing has caused me to be down and now I’m in a spiral. But it’s hard sometimes to try and always be positive. I have moments where I think fuck other people I should be proud of myself for living in my own place, holding down a full time job which I’m now at the highest qualification for. I’m in therapy and progressing and yeah I’m not always having great days and I’m not 100% but I’m better than I was. But then one slight ocd knock back yesterday and I feel like I’ve not progressed and then one knock back in my social life and I’m in a depressive spiral. I know I’ll be okay and I’ll get there but it’s hard not being able to get it out, so I’m thankful for this app. So I can get it out. Have a bit of a cry. Listen to some empowering Lizzo and get back on my feet ?