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the NOCD Community

Is there therapy for me? To help me understand my sons OCD? He is struggling. Just starting a new med on top of Luvox. Clomipirine…. Spelling. I just don’t think anyone truly understands what he is going through or what I am going through.

I don’t know what to say I have no clue why am I even living in this world sexual orientation obsessive compulsive disorder has ruined my life I am 20 year-old battling this disease. Three months already I’m a heterosexual woman who has a boyfriend I see myself getting married to him one day but my OCD just wouldn’t let me enjoy my heterosexual life he is very supportive and understands what I am going through it seems to be so your real dad I question myself do I even have that type of OCD I keep saying to myself I don’t like girls that way it’s sort of became a pick up line to make my brain understand what he is telling me it’s not true I don’t know what to do please help

I feel like I'm not progressing anymore, just when I think i think I'm getting better and that my ocd is not as bad anymore it gets bad again. I saw something that triggered a memory of something I did, and I can't seem to let go of it, I been ruminating for hours but my brain won't stop until I "figure" the memory out, until I confess to someone what I did. I feel so guilty and I keep getting thoughts telling me that I don't deserve anything because I'm a terrible person. I don't know what to, I tried accepting the memory and the fact that I can't change the past but it feels like I'm just trying to excuse my actions.

I’m aroused by boys and I fantasise about them like kissing them and having sex with them and stuff. Like a couple of boys I find attractive. But I still have those ruminating thoughts if I not be a lesbian. Like not even about being bisexual what doesn’t come to my mind but only ruminating about being lesbian and I know it’s an obsession and I’ve read a lot and it feels like it’s ocd, and my therapist says it’s an obsession like ocd but I’m not diagnosed yet. Why does this go together like I’m aroused by boys but I still can’t get rid of the thoughts about being lesbian even tho I’m aroused with boys it makes me feel miserable and horrible

So ist just about ocd, I think I have a really bad anxiety right now about this topic. So i used to believe that i cant control my mind and i have to accept every thought but deep down it made me feel like a victim that i always have to accept how i feel and what i think, theres no other way... one day i had enough of this, because i saw that others who are doing this for years are still having the same thoughts, and i still felt bad and had the same thoughts to and i decided that i will find something else. So i found a good youtuve channel where they teach you that youre the creator of your emotions and you can control your mind. I learned that i have anxiety and low moods cause i have negative beliefs about myself and the world which i need to change then these feelings will not be strong. It helped so much and i saw that its better then just observing it and moving on, bc you actually see the problem and not avoid it. It helped me alot. Then today i had a negative emotions and i started to see what im telling myself, what thoughts i have, and this time i actually got lost in my mind. Or as others said i got into the rabbit hole of negative thinking. And i couldnt get out and i was so desperate that this isnt helping me either... Trying to control your mind and change beliefs just makes me more stressed, but just accepting it and moving on still will not help,cause i will still will have the thoughts and emotions without knowing why i constantly have it. What do yall think, are you the creater of your emotions, can you control the mind or not?

I haven't officially started ERP sessions yet with my therapist here and I may have to delay due to financial reasons but has anyone tackled a situation head on with good results?

Has anyone ever had instances where they found themselves attracted to a person but because you don't know their age for sure you start to worry and you begin to spiral down a bunch of POCD thoughts? This is concerning my latest relapse. I can't get my mind off of it. It looked like a woman my age and there was a 21 year old woman that I thought was attractive. The other fictional woman character during my relapse is my type of woman but doesn't have an age but I along with many people assume she is 20-24 but few days lower. What if it's much lower? Does that make me a p even though I genuinely assumed it was an an attractive adult woman? I'm always cautious of keeping away from any female that looks too young or anywhere where I have to question it and can only know for sure. Only then I can be cool about it

Anyone else have extreme arguments with their significant other? My husband and I are recovering addicts and we’ve always had very intense arguments. I also have bipolar 2 and I am trying to learn how to cope during these times. It’s hard not to be negative and say,”yeah this is what I signed up for.” Any encouragement or advice would be great.

Bro I keep getting groinals and checking out ljke looking at girls on social media and getting groinials and now I just had the most nastiest thought and I felt like I agreed with it :( it was so uncomfortable and I feel weird but I’m watching neon demon and I just figured out that the actress is playing a 16 years old girl but irl she’s not 16 and I noticed that I keep just looking at her butt and I even said “oh she doesn’t even have a butt” and I felt so weird after that, is it normal to have thoughts like this a bc I swear I feel like since I haven’t been haven’t that many thoughts I feel like these are not pocd thoughts :( and I feel no anxiety at all anymore and I even had a bad freak out where I was on like 1-7 day streak of not having thoughts and I had thought I became a p :(, then I think panicked myself back into them and the thoughts came back 😭 or the worries at least. Then I saw this boy on an edit from a movie and he looked really young then I keep thinking or saying he was cute but I felt like I was attracted to him or was and I feel like that’s why I said it, and he looked like pretty young yk so idkkk anymore I’m so worried and it’s been aching at me for awhile and I just had to confess bc I really feel weird and I feel like I’m becoming a p, and feeling like I’m so used to it and that it’s okay to have these thoughts and that I like thinking of this or idk it’s bc normal and I don’t like that like ughhh 😕 somethings wrong with me

On July 2nd I got triggered that God sent me a message telling me I’m going to hell if I do any type of sin. I know it’s my OCD but it feels so real, and it’s been severely bothering me this whole week now- it’s hard to go back to normal life when my brain is telling me constantly that I’m going to be doomed forever. Does anyone else experience anything similar to this? What should I do?

If anyone is sober, meaning they used to drink now they don’t anymore, I would love to hear some of your stories and how thay experience is going for you. I am about 8 months alcohol free but still struggle as the stigma behind nondrinkers is tough!

I’m feeling suicidal because of how lightly the conversation is taken when it comes to skinny and flat chest shaming. People usually talk over me or get mad when i bring it up because it’s not the popular topic. I’m not allowed to be in agony the same way people with other body types are. My childhood bullies thought this way, and now the rest of the world does too.

For the last few weeks I’ve been having terrifying thoughts when out in public, especially in busy crowds. Fixating on humans around me and how we exist, and then I start to think about how we all are skeletons/bones/have all these organs, and it is so scary. And then everyone looks so creepy and alien-like almost. And then how no one feels real and how and their limbs look too big for their bodies, etc And it makes me feel INSANE. I’m convinced something is terribly wrong with my brain. Has anyone ever experienced these type of scary thoughts?

I’m a younger guy and I was doing so much better with my medication and work but now it feels like everything is flooding back my debt is crippling, I’m thinking about absolutely horrific shit all the time, I worry nonstop that bad things are going to happen or if I locked the door. I met the love of my life and I can’t stop thinking about leaving her and I don’t want to I love her but the thoughts won’t leave my head. With all the thoughts about harming people my debt and leaving my girl I feel hopeless. Non of these therapists that are available seem to accept Medicaid and that’s my only insurance so I’m worried if I’ll even be able to get help. I do t wanna do any of these things I’m thinking about they make me sick to my stomach but I can’t stop and it’s taking over. I’m sorry for the rant but please can someone point me in the right direction?

For me I've been an anxious person my whole life but I quite literally remember the day this started. Something just clicked in my head and I've been stuck obsessing over the same thing for years. I know a lot of people say for them they had OCD happen from a young age and others got it later like me but I'm wondering if it was a spontaneous change for you like it was for me or was it some kinda slow progression into obsessions?

I was doing a lot better, overthinking a lot less and just living in the present for the most part, but I walked out of the shower and I heard my parents talking about how I don’t have any respect for them and it really upset me to hear them talk about me in that way. I’ve been trying hard to leave for school at the same time they leave the house because they don’t want me in there alone (for reasons I won’t go into) but I’ve messed it up a few times and I feel like I’ve made no progress if they still feel that way. After I talked to my mum about it she said she was glad that she was wrong, that I do respect them! Which was nice to hear but I wonder if she’s just saying that. I’m so scared to go back to how it was before, overthinking every detail of everything, constantly thinking about whether I’m a good or bad person and feeling hopeless and suicidal. I can’t put myself through that again and I can’t put my family through what I put them through again. I think I might need some more therapy which I feel guilty about because it costs them a lot of money and I said I was close to wrapping up and just wanted an ending session. I guess I’ll need a few more which is rough but oh well.

I am having a really hard time with a diamond heart necklace I got my amazing, supportive girlfriend for her birthday. I faced a trigger and intrusive thoughts while getting buying the gift and I was extremely distressed when it happened. I feel I can’t get rid of the association at this point. I have been debating on whether or not to give it to her and I really need help. The gift for me is associated with a really bad memory/trigger but it is what I wanted to give her in my heart. I don’t want to be in pain every time I see it. I wish I never ran into a trigger while getting it :/ I could tell her about it too. I love her so much and want to give it to her but I hate that a trigger occurred while getting it. Help would be appreciated!

I’m having a major crisis in life rn. It feels like I’m just very detached from everything . I don’t know when last time it’s been since I’ve felt like this . Probably years back when my ocd first started to develope and I wasn’t full aware of what was going on. Anyways, lately I have been feeling like this as a result of another one of my episodes . It’s been feeling long term . It’s been about 2 days almost still with the same obsessive thought and me just ruminating. But for most part, I think I was just handling it by not giving much into it and rather just accept the uncertainty as I’m supposed to. But more waves keep coming in and I feel prone to just having more related thoughts and feeling like I’m vulnerable at this point and weak. Let alone I already feel like crap because everyday it’s the same exact thing . I’m back at my old job but due to my ocd , it’s been making me feel quite depressed and I truly just miss my most recent one I was at . I feel isolated . I’m deeply worried I’ll be living with my parents for much longer time and I won’t be as dependent as others are with the circumstances I’m in rn. I don’t drive - which has been a huge impact on my mental health. I get very flustered and have racing unpleasant thoughts reminding me I can’t drive . I keep getting the same thing from people - “you’ll get there eventually, ebeyone works at their own paste” what bothers me is the fact I feel I haven’t progressed in anything as far as driving goes . I don’t have anyone to teach me other the parents ( they are busy most time ) they’re not very consistent on teaching me either...parents are already giving me enough crap about me not being able to drive on my own. I’m truly concerned because I almsot feel I know nothing about Adult life . I feel stupid. I’m 19. I have college this upcoming august and I’m not sure I’ll even afford it with my financial aid. I have good amount of money saved but not sure it’s enough. I’m still working but that’s all I even do, plus having my constant ocd episodes does not help anything , it just makes it worse and I feel prone to feeling more isolated when I’m already feeling like shit let alone working . I probably won’t have time and/or afford therapy either in next couple months as I’m on a tight budget rn. Meanwhile, eveyone I know is having blast this summer , I come home after work to a room depressed not doing shit , but only watch tv. I font wanna be depending on my parents for anything . I’m scared . I’m FRUSTRATED. Idkkk what to do 🤷‍♂️idk what to do for me to help me . I’m doing everything I can. No one can teach me to drive . I’m so tired , jealous, angry, sad, scared , worried , upset , frustrated .

Hi all. I opened up to my psychiatrist today (my therapist and ocd therapist know) about the intrusive thoughts I've been having. The one thought would pop up over and over "child porn" and it made me so sick to my stomach because I can't believe I would think of such a thing. Then the thoughts were more dark like thinking of touching my son and even images of that happening..then came urges...and i felt so guilty and disgusted with myself :( after I told my psychiatrist ( who is currently treating me for bipolar 1) he was so concerned and told me I need to stay with my mom to make sure my son is safe. To not trust myself and have someone watch me. Well that made me feel a whole lot worse! The thoughts were actually subsiding this week and talking about it with him made the "child porn" thought pop up again. I just feel like I'm failing at life and as a mother. My immediate family think I should turn myself into a mental health facility and have intensive treatment. They think because I have those thoughts that I want to act on them or to let it go. I don't want to act on them and would never! Im scared of my thoughts and thats the problem. This is so frustrating.

Does anyone get really annoyed when you play fight with your partner? All these thoughts start coming in and I don’t know which ones are mine. I just wanna have fun, but I don’t know how :(