- Date posted
- 3y
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now , safe to say I have never loved someone as much as I love my boyfriend , he feels like home to me. We developed an instant emotional connection from the beginning and I’ve never felt so close emotionally to someone . What I have struggled with throughout the relationship has been the attraction aspect , it’s not that I find him unattractive at all, objectivity he is attractive - he works out he’s Arabic tanned etc it’s more there wasn’t this instant spark or that intuitive attraction. It’s something I’ve always found to be important when dating. I pushed through this anyway because there was no way I wasn’t going to carry on seeing him I became attached to him very quickly and him to me too. The sex is great , it’s always been great but I can’t put in words what feels to be missing exactly . I feel romantically toward him not just a best friend but I’ve never felt any intense lust. I want to be able to get over this ‘issue’ but in the last 2 years I have not worked out how to not let this bother me. A quick google search of ‘do you need to have physical infatuation in a relationship’ and I cry at the responses saying you can’t force attraction , it rarely grows etc. When I am around him I don’t want time to stop , he truly is everything to me and the thought of loosing him hurts me to my core. I couldn’t stand the thought of him being with someone else and us just being friends , not in a selfish way just that we have a very special bond . We are meant to be getting married next year , we’ve spoken about it a lot and I cried tears of happiness when he mentioned the idea . I feel like the worst girlfriend in the world sometimes for having these doubts , particularly as we can both read each other like a book so I’m sure he picks up on these insecurities- what can I do I feel so lost ??
- Trigger warning
- Relationship OCD