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Does anyone get worrying intrusive thoughts about being a p*** when they've seen a p*** video about someone they find attractive but don't know their age? What if they aren't of age, does that make you a horrible person and a p***?

i literally can’t stop with my brain saying i don’t like women on repeat. it feels like if i say it constantly it’s like i’m in denial and that gives me anxiety sometimes but most of the time it doesn’t. i’m scared. i’ve also fallen back into the hard cycle of obsessively researching in google trying to find answers. i feel less anxiety and groinals but it feels like denial. it sometimes feel like i have to think about something sexual bc i’m so used to it now. i hate this so much. i want this to end. i can’t even afford therapy rn i have to push my appointment further bc i have no money right now i just started working. if anyone can give me just ANY advice that would be great. please.

I am having a hard time today. I struggle with ocd especially over Christianity. I feel so alone because I've annoyed everyone in my family about it that they don't want me to bring it up anymore. I just want someone to talk to, another Christian to talk to who knows what I'm talking about.

Got into some trouble back in June. I prayed and acted on other compulsions because I was so scared, and hired someone to help with the circumstances. My OCD truly took over and I no longer felt like I was a trustworthy person, that I didn’t deserve my job, and even that people were watching me through my phone and computer. About a month ago I received a call saying that everything was gonna be okay and that, in all honesty, my best case scenario had come true. When I heard this I relaxed, and was so incredibly relieved, that my symptoms had lessened dramatically as I knew I could just move on from what happened. The OCD symptoms didn’t go away completely of course, but they no longer consumed me and I felt like I was able to function again. Anyways, yesterday I received a letter in the mail basically saying that the incident has been brought up all over again and I feel myself spiraling. The person who is helping me assured me this is nothing to freak over and I’m definitely making a bigger deal than it is in my head, but I’m so scared. I feel the OCD taking over all over again. I feel like I made a mistake letting myself “relax” this past month. My brain keeps wondering if there’s something else I did bad in this one month period, and as silly as it sounds, I feel like if I didn’t watch certain TV shows or things like that this wouldn’t have happened. I keep wondering what compulsion I didn’t do to make this happen. I don’t know what to do. I’m pretty much a sitting duck for another two weeks. I’m wondering what I can do to “make things right” even though, realistically I know there’s nothing I can do. Please help. I keep having panic attacks and don’t know where to turn. I thought this chapter of my life had closed and it’s been such a strainer on my mental health. I hate myself for what happened, and I feel like I’ve punished myself enough. I’m really angry at the person who called me telling me everything was A-OK just to send me that letter in the mail. I’m frustrated because I feel like I let my guard down. I thought this was over. Why isn’t it over? What did I do wrong that’s making it drawn out like this?

every time my OCD finds something new to obsess about I feel like it’s the worst one yet. I used to think feeling like i don’t love my partner is the worst but turns out feeling like i cheated on him is so much worse. especially because it’s not cheating OCD but real event OCD. I somewhat entertained things with a friend a couple years ago (assumed he was probably into me and didn’t stop it/ liked the attention??) and even drunkenly fell asleep on his leg once. and i have talked about it with my bf but not the detail about sleeping on his leg (i’ve told him other arguably worse things (no kissing or anything like that)) and we’ve gotten past it. this was someone who i definitely never had feelings for and never wanted anything more out of than attention. but now i feel overcome by guilt and anxiety and i replay the scenarios over and over in my head. i feel the constant need to confess every last detail i remember but i read that confessing can be a compulsion? ugh anyone else dealing with real event OCD have any advice? I can’t see my amazing NOCD therapist anymore due to insurance issues :/

I’m at a point where I’m so sick of the anxiety that my brain just pulls out scenarios with other people and my brain is just quick to want to leave my current relationship, yet at the same time I acknowledge how poor of a decision that would be. There’s nothing wrong in my current relationship, we are each others best friend and that’s all I’ve ever wanted in a relationship, yet my mind still thinks otherwise and a part of me likes the fake scenarios that my mind comes up with. Who says this won’t happen in another relationship I’m in, especially since I love the qualities of my partner. I force myself to think about him and only him. It feels like I no longer care, but I want to care. I want to be present in my relationship, and whenever I try to pursue it, my brain goes “you don’t want to” and it’s such a horrible cycle. I just want this to end, I want to see the person that I have right in front of me.

Hey guys I’ve been doing very well in terms of managing OCD but recently I’ve been having this intrusive thought of what if the cops arrest me for my Google search history. I used to feel what i now recognize as a huge sense of responsibility to protect children from cp and would Google cp into the search bar and on p*rn sites to report to cybertip. I’ve only done the latter once or twice but now I’m obsessively anxious about thinking of what if the cops check my computer, whether it looks like I have intent to watch etc. Please advise :(

How do i rlly know it’s ocd? I had one thought and it was a bad thought. A thought that used to be a frequent ocd intrusive thought for me but this time came up in the middle of an argument w my sister who I care for more than anyone in the world. It came up at a time when my ocd had been better. And it only came up for one episode so it hasn’t felt as obsessive, which makes me think it may not be ocd and that I’m actually just horrible. What’s becoming obsessive now is the guilt I feel for having that awful thought. So much guilt. I feel unworthy of anything good.

Can someone please help! Basically , I can’t get over a comment one of my ‘friends’ made about my boyfriend ages ago. We were out in town and she said ‘ the reason your boyfriend isn’t going out with you is because you’re pretty and he’s just average and doesn’t want to be seen out with you’ and to be honest it really hurt me what she said. She obviously didn’t know about my ROCD and I think if she knew the severity of her comment she wouldn’t have said it , but I cut contact with her because the comment had really hurt me:( I can’t get over what she said , and my ocd brain holds on to it so much , most people tell us how great we look together , I’ve asked family members and they said they don’t understand why she would say that because they think he’s good looking but the comment brings me down even though I know I shouldn’t care . Another ‘friend ‘ told me a similar thing once saying I could do better , but I don’t understand because he’s very attractive ?

Is ERP hard ? I've seen a lot of posts which say that doind ERP is hard . I don't find it that way . Am i doing it right ? Whenever I set out to do ERP I find out that I don't get as triggered as I do on a normal basis . It seems as though being prepared to resist my compulsion lessens the trigger a lot ( about 1_3 on the scale ) does anyone else feel this way ?

Can anyone else relate to false memories after having a night of drinking. My obsessions are around sexual harm ocd. I can’t stop replaying a certain event from 3 years ago and now a new one has popped up in regard to my 7 week old son. I’m not a bad person and I think I know deep down I haven’t done anything bad. My family also tell me I haven’t as I always ask for reassurance. Has anyone ever had any bad episodes after alcohol. If so what and how did you cope ?? I’m struggling right now. I’ve recently been seen by a psychiatrist but I’m not sure he specialised in ocd. However he did tell me it sounded like a anxiety disorder and a anxiety disorder.

For those practicing erp whether it be with a therapist or by yourself, how do you just sit with the anxiety/uncertainty? I've been trying, but it's extremely hard because I know what is true about myself even though my brain is trying to convince me otherwise. How do you guys get through eerp without it just sounding like you're confirming the thoughts?? I'm struggling here.

My POCD and real events OCD is calling me a P, a chomo, and a r*pist for the horrible real events when I was 13… I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭  It’s making me feel like I know I’m a P or a chomo when I don't ever want to ever be those things… I perform avoidance compulsions all the time and I don’t want to be anywhere around kids… even accidentally standing next to one makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and anxious… it’s making me feel like that I know I’m what my POCD and real events OCD are telling me even when a former ocd psychiatrist has told me that I was a child, and that I didn’t have an adults “sexual understanding or responsibility. So, you can see why you didn't realise the horribleness of an event until you matured. So now, in the present, you know yourself to be a good moral person. It allows you to let go of the past…” and that the real events don’t make me a P or a chomo… In addition it’s making me feel like I’m what my ocd tells me that I am… I didn’t know how horrible the real events were at the time when I was 13… I really didn’t… my POCD and real events OCD keeps calling me a P and a Chomo for what happened when I was 13 when I didn’t know what any of that stuff was… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t…

I'm seriously starting to hate that my mind is going after the experience I had working with children in the summer. I never wanted that job in the first place because of things exactly like this. I remember stupid intrusive thoughts popping up even while I was at the job. It kept targeting one kid with the most sickening thoughts that I honestly don't even want to type out and most times when I saw that kid I was just disturbed at times and uncomfortable. Now that it's over and I'm not dealing with it anymore it's trying to convince me of things that are flat out horrible and sick that I don't want to be true even though it feels like it is What makes this worse is that I'm someone who struggles with p*** addiction and occasional lusting makes this so much fucking worse. I really can't stand that I deal with this yet it's still hard to let go of. The sexual thoughts are what make intrusive thoughts worse than any other kind

PLS READ IM SO SAD AND SCARED AND I NEED HELP. about a month ago i began to overcome my really serious harm ocd. i’ve been doing really good for the past couple weeks, with very few intrusive thoughts. but yesterday, i was fighting w my sister, and thought abt how thinking a harm ocd thought now would be horrible bc it would be rooted in anger and therefore mean i’m a horrible person. and ofc i had the harm thought, because how can i avoid it if i’m thinking about it? but to be honest i can’t completely remember if the analysis about having the thought came before or after the actual thought and so that’s distressing me too. it was so random, as i said, i’ve been mostly free of these thoughts for a couple weeks. i feel so sad and guilty bc i know i didn’t mean the thought but i feel like i brought it on. and maybe i did? can we bring on thoughts we don’t mean? is feeling a sort of responsibility for “bringing back” ocd thoughts and them coming in situations that make them feel more real a part of recovery? if so, does anyone have advice?

I'm new here. please dont judge me. I am not yet diagnose with pocd but I have all the symptoms and etc. My ocd started June 2020. someone posted on fb about pedophile for awareness. She posted about this person who is having arousal to his sister and wants to do sexual thing. While reading . i feel something in my private part and questioned myself. Why having reaction down there???am I aroused??? I am 100% sure that I'm not sexually attracted to a child. Since then I started feeling awkward around my son and groinal response also started. Why I'm having groinal response? I don't have this before. Cried a lot. Scared that I might be attracted to my son. I avoided hugging and kissing my son. Bathing him is hard cause I get groinal response.and then intrusive thoughts came in. Im afraid of being left alone with my son cause i might do something. I had searched online. That's where I learned that I have ocd. This is really hard and painful for me. I'm a mother and I have to take good care of my son. I feel so depressed. And guilty. Ashamed. Doubt myself they say pocd sufferer don't act on their thought. I had intrusive thought that I want to hug my son In a sexual way and doing sexual. I really hate the thought. Felt distressed but still I did my thought. I hugged him. I dont know why i did. I remember i told myself maybe i can do that because i didnt feel any sexual thing and maybe to ease the anxiety thats why i did. Then i hugged him. After hugging him. I said to myself I don't feel any sexual and also I didn't do anything sexual to him. What my intrusive thought told me it didn't happen. But my brain keep on telling me that I acted My thought because i still hugged him while having the thought And I feel guilty. I shouldn't have done that. Do you think I acted My thought? I keep on revisiting this thing.keep on searching. If I really did it or not. I don't want to be pedophile.😭

I recently switched from Sertraline-200MG to Venlafaxine. I’m currently on 75MG+37.5MG working my way up to the max dosage for OCD treatment. When I first spoke to a doctor about switching medications, he mentioned Venlafaxine and I found his reasoning compelling. As opposed to just switching to another brand, he explained that Venlafaxine is a combination SSRI and NRI. Meaning, that it is also a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. He then explained that norepinephrine is linked to PTSD. I always misunderstood PTSD to be something only soldiers experienced but later learned that even a physical head injury can cause PTSD. I then started to wonder if there’s a chance my compulsions can be a way of trying to control some kind of version of PTSD. Might be a long shot but hey, at this point anything is possible. All that said, I decided to try it and I’m curious if anybody has experience with this medication or if anyone has anything to add about anything said above.

It’s been about a week since my OCD episode has gone from bad to severe. I haven’t been able to go a single minute without the thoughts flooding my head. I’ve disconnected from my friends and avoid hanging out with them. I can’t engage in hobbies. I’m not taking care of myself and I haven’t showered in days. I’m a mess, and I feel like I have no reason to keep going at all. I don’t want to hurt myself or hurt anyone else though, so I don’t know if it’s really worth it. I just sit in my own filth and deal with these horrible thoughts. School is coming up and that’s only increasing my stress, and I’m not even going to have access to a therapist until the 19th of September. I’ve completely dissociated from myself and have lost touch of reality, where my thoughts start and where my OCD thoughts end. I feel so stuck right now and I don’t know what to do or how to move forward. I feel like my compulsions and rumination and become my everything. What should I do?

All OCD treatment seems to revolve around avoiding your compulsions and teaching your brain that nothing terrible will happen if you don't do them. That's fine for the thoughts and worries I have that *do* have compulsions, but some of my worst intrusive thoughts don't seem to have a compulsion to go with them. I just sit there thinking obsessively about my loved ones dying and how I'll feel and what I'll do, but I don't have a way of stopping the thoughts, not even things like praying or pushing the thoughts away or telling myself to think about something else (I'm never able to drag my mind away from the bad thoughts anyway, so I kind of stopped trying). Does this mean it's not really OCD?