Welcome to
the NOCD Community

What ssri has worked for you? And at what dose? Currently on Lexapro but I'm considering switching due to the side effects... I know that medications effect everyone differently, I'm just curious what else is out there! Thanks :)

Hi everyone had a question I am 42 years old until about 7 months ago my ocd has become so bad almost debilitating. I think I have had ocd since my mid 20s but it was barely there and it would sometimes almost be non existent and I didn’t even know it was ocd until I was diagnosed four months ago It was always my family getting hurt especially at night I was convinced that someone would break in the house and murder us. Or a fire would start but j would just check the doors and stove appliances a few times before bed nothing to time consuming and I never had panic attacks or the physical symptoms of anxiety, I did do weird rituals like I blessed things that fell on the floor because I thought something bad may happen to my kids which seems strange and I would put clothes away a certain way or again something bad would happen and I hated the number 6 so the volume can never be on 6 things like that. When I type if I didn’t get the word right the first time I’d have to erase the whole word and start over sometimes the whole sentence which was super annoying! But since I had my daughter 4 years ago I would have this weird fear with knifes like only I could wash them and put them away or someone may accidentally stab themselves or someone else, and I began to get intrusive images of someone trying to hurt my daughter or someone would kidnap her or she would stop breathing at night but it all was pretty tolerable until out of the blue I had a really bad intrusive images of me hitting her in the head with my phone it’s scared me so bad I had a panic attack and started questioning why would I think that?! Then a week went by and another intrusive image of me hurting her and then eventually it was anything and everything in my house could be weapon to hurt her i was terrified I googled it and realized it was intrusive thoughts and it was harm ocd 😞I have been really struggling since and that was 6 months ago I try to tell myself that they are just thoughts and it’s just my brain being hyper vigilant to protect her but I fear that the more I have them I will do them in my sleep And the physical sensations of anxiety and panic attacks are unbelievable sometimes Can anyone relate to their ocd becoming worse almost overnight later on in life I want my life back I’m so sad I’m scared to sleep at night I just want this all to go away Any tips it’s hard not to react to the thoughts when it is about harming your own child who I love soooo much And please tell me this is ocd

Does anyone have any tips on how to remember your tools when you feel a wave coming on? It seems like my cycle is pretty consistent. I'll be doing great and able to recognize intrusive thoughts as they pop up and let them go naturally, and then one day a thought will be extra sticky and I'll start examining it because it feels real (in my case usually existential), and before I know it I'm down the rabbit hole of rumination and don't know how to get out - which inevitably leads to depression. What strategies do you use to remember your tools and not fall for OCD's tricks? I'm thinking of maybe putting up a sticky note with bullet points on how to recognize something as an intrusive thought. Or some sort of reminder of the tools so that I don't forget them when a wave comes on. Sometimes the worries feel so real that I forget I shouldn't engage with them and just let them naturally pass.

Does it ever get any better? Every day is a waking nightmare I can’t speak to anyone of my same gender I am going to lose my girl friend I can’t sleep eat or do anything, I’m half the person I used to be. Just tell me there’s hope please I resist all my compulsions and yet I don’t see improvement my mind races with the same thoughts all day it’s so frustrating because I don’t want to do any of the things my mind tells me. I just agree with the thoughts and my anxiety builds I go to sleep and do it the next day. I’m on an SSRI I’ve been dealing with this for a month right after I had major head trauma. I thought once I got my head better I was going to be ok and be able to get past that part of my life. Now every time I look at someone of my same gender I get images and thoughts of me having sex with them. Literally everyone it’s so distressing and I feel trapped In my own mind. Has anyone gotten past this it’s so overwhelming and it feels like there’s no way out of this. I get immense anxiety even speaking to anyone and I know at 19 years old my sexuality didn’t switch literally overnight. I remember the day my mind snapped and sense that day there has been zero happiness in my life not a single moment of life I enjoy. It’s a compulsion seeking reassurance from anyone I just want to know that if anyone else has dealt with this have they been able to move forward with life because I can’t fucking take this shit anymore.

so one of the thoughts is like me thinking like “what if i become a killer” and so with that i have currently been watching the jeffery dahmer series and i’ve been having these nonstop thoughts of hurting my bf help

does anyone get triggered by music in any way? for me, i associate this song ‘always and forever’ by the cults as a bad luck or bad omen. like i get triggered if i hear it on instagram or tik tok and start doing my compulsions. it used to be my fave song until coincidences started happening with bad luck and whenever i purposefully go to listen to it i get some bad luck and now i can’t even hear the band at all because my brain associates them as demonic. i miss listening to my favourite song but i just gave up because of the distress i get from it does anyone else have experiences with music and bands that affect OCD?

Do you guys have difficulties getting your driving licence. I live in The Netherlands and The Roads office here is impossibly strict. I failed my driving exam for the second time today. I get too much information at once on the road and then I don't know what to do. I know how to control the car and all but they say that I'm extremely stresst and tight in my vibe when driving. I see the information but it processes differently and too late. For example my instructor says, turn left on the next crossing. Eventually I see a sign with a cross meaning dangerous crossing. I was busy with that but I didn't make the connection that fast about it being a crossing and turning left.

My OCD is telling me I should write a long email to the guy in my past who I’ve been obsessing with and use the Hurricane Ian hitting Florida as an excuse to start a conversation because his family lives there. Or maybe use the “delay” feature on Outlook to send the email then delete it, so it won’t send. OR ask one of our engineers here if we have an internal system where we can unsend an email to someone. I feel so much anxiety right now, I feel lightheaded and nervous and shaky. I have this slight feeling of throwing up. Note that the guy and I only talked for about a month, and haven’t been in contact. He did say happy birthday through a fast click greeting feature on LinkedIn last year but that’s it. We do not have contact right now. But my OCD wants me to contact him or at least ATTEMPT to contact him but if I delete the email before it sends then I get that huge relief of overcoming something, then I “never have to do it again.” A part of me wants to know what that would feel like when I do all these things. It’s at my workplace too so… I need help because I’m trying to avoid my workplace now by taking half days for the rest of the week.

It is about doing something really weird and that can be misinterpreted but in the moment I wasn't fully aware and my intentions weren't what it could have looked like. Sorry this is very explicit but I want to know if my guilt and discomfort is normal So it is an event about an age were I was exploring my sexuality and my sexual drive was unstable or low when it came to masturbation. Then I had the idea of proving external stimuli like elements in the ambient I was or the clothes i wear. I put something because I wanted to know how it felt during that occasion. (It didn't work) those were stockings to be specific. When I was going to put them I remembered I inherited them from another person. I always inherited clothes from my family, yes. And I passed to associate those clothes as mine because they were in fact mine. So I thought, well, those stockings are mine, I associate them with myself. And it was that way in that moment, so I used them in my intimacy. Months later I remembered this event and felt disturbed. I thought that of course the person who gave them to me used them, it was very possible. Those were my clothes but the fact someone used them before me made me feel awful. I'm remembering years later the same event. I know I fully associated those stockings as something of my pertinences and it had nothing to do with who gave me those clothes, but I still feel so disgusted, like I'm f***ed up, crazy, a creep, and that it was highly easy to misinterpret. If someone would misinterpret it I would end up highly traumatized with that misinterpretation because I would never do something like that, less related to that person, it is like 100% impossible and disgusting. The me of that moment was just using my clothes to experiment something that didn't had nothing to do with anyone and wasn't aware of how weird it could be. I still feel like I'm a creep and shouldn't live or be treated normal. Now I'm in another stage of my life and know what I explain looked weird but I know at that age I didn't meant to do anything weird, it was just an extra personal thing and I didn't make it because of anyone. What scares me is what if people think I made that specifically because I inherited those clothes but that wasn't the case, if I would never have inherited them from anyone I would still have used them.

I think my OCD theme would be easier to handle if it were just thoughts or images. But when you deal with urges, arousal nonconcordance, groinals and false attraction or “wanting” feelings I just can’t handle it. How do you even help stop arousal non concordance? I just can’t deal with this being in my life forever.

Hello fellow Zoloft users. I started taking Zoloft for my anxiety, OCD, and depression. Any luck with the Zoloft? Did it help?

Have you ever used to help with OCD. I think I know people who do use it for that but I wanted someone else's perspective also. Just curious.

Those with HOCD. Did your “what ifs” turn into disturbing images after time? The thoughts just seem to get more real and disturbing as time goes on. Almost as if being gay is what I want even though I know it’s not

Do you sometimes do a compulsion and you think "Am I doing this just because I know that it's a part of OCD and I wanna have it because I wanna be cool or edgy?". I think of it every time I'm doing minor compulsions and it's so annoying!!

Oh god someone please help me!! 😭 I need help!! I don’t wanna break up! But it’s like I really want to and due to me believing I don’t love him!!! 😢😢😢😭😭😭 please!! Did anyone recover from thinking they didn’t love their partner of ROCD anxiety and depression!?!? Am I just too afraid too break up is that it!!!!!!!!! My 12 year relationship is gonna die!!! Please!! I don’t wanna break up!!!!

One of the best ways to get over Harm OCD, especially the serial killer theme, is to watch true crime stuff. Now, there are A LOT of true crime videos out there that can be very hard to watch if you haven’t gotten into true crime and/or your Hrm OCD is extreme. But let me introduce you to… Bailey Sarian! She runs a YouTube channel and does a thing called Mystery & Makeup Mondays where she talks about a true crime story as she puts on makeup (to keep her hands busy). There are a wide variety of true crime videos and there are ones that are Halloween themed, including ghost and demon videos, and historical mysteries as well. Start off with one you think you can handle based on the title and summary and go from there (I suggest the historical and Halloween ones) and then you can get to the point where you’ve watched all those and you get into ones that are really long, like Jeffrey Dahmer’s overview. I am specifically linking Jeffrey Dahmer’s one because I keep seeing posts on him and the new Netflix show. If you can’t watch that TV show, then watch Bailey’s video as a starter—or not at all and go for one of the tamer ones as mentioned above. Bailey’s video on Jeffrey Dahmer: https://youtu.be/gjySnrspD7E

just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.

Has anyone here ever experienced significant complex trauma in different aspects of life that seemed to have happened at once, which triggered existential thoughts, questioning everything, not being able to make sense of just about anything, feeling like you’re just so disconnected and still doubting that these are understandable things to experienced after going through trauma? The problem I am having right now is obsessing over why I feel the way I do. Why I don’t feel like myself. I keep asking myself “Is it PTSD/CPTSD? Is it OCD? Is it depression and anxiety? All of the above?” Not knowing is eating away at me. Not only that, what distresses me even more and makes me feel even more hopeless and helpless, are thoughts of “what is even real? How are we supposed to feel, think, be? Everyone else around me seems to have it all figured out. Why am I stuck in my own head?” Not being able to grasp onto anything that makes sense is such an isolating feeling. Can anyone relate?

I sound like a broken record and I do realize a lot of you are new to this , but YOU NEED TO STOP DOING RESEARCH / STOP ASKING QUESTIONS / STOP LOOKING FOR REASSURANCE . THE ONLY WAY OUT OF THIS IS TO ACCEPT YOUR THOUGHTS. Ex: ROCD- your mind tells you you want to leave your partner or something like that say “hell yea I want to leave them I don’t like them at all , but ima hang out with them today anyways maybe I leave them tommorow 🤷🏽‍♂️” SOCD- EX -your mind tells you you are gay or find an attraction to a friend “I am super gay , might be the gayest in the world , matter a fact ima ask out a same sex person soon probably get married with one honeslty who knows “ “my friend is the sexiest in the world , I’m in love with him so what ?” Use the same method for any kinds of thoughts you get practice all day everyday you will notice improvement

Last night, after having had a therapy session earlier during the day and watching the trailer with my therapist; I decided it was time to face my fears head on by purposely triggering my Harm OCD 🆘 Needless to say, I was instantly triggered; my anxiety immediately spiked, I lost my entire appetite while having dinner (should’ve rethought that) I became nauseous (gagging throughout watching), hands slightly shaking and overall clammy. Despite all of the above; I both started and carried on watching on my own until my partner got home for the night 📺 We, alongside all our fur-babies; watched the remainder of the first episode 🐾👬🏻🐾 But not without having had moments where I thought that I would need to turn it off, but instead; I sat with the discomfort and used it as fuel to carry on 💪🏼 Believe it or not; I even decided that I wanted too watch the second episode as well 🫣 Eventually, for me; it became more about appreciating Evan Peters because I truly appreciate him an actor and all his work in American Horror Stories! All of the above being said and taken into consideration; I’ll leave anyone with Harm OCD reading this and state that if I, could do this; then you can too! Side note, I’m not just saying this to sound optimistic because I’m someone who is specifically triggered by this character and characters alike because of my own themes/triggers in general, but also because of things about myself (male, sexuality, etc.) that could easily be compared and contrasted, but that’s EXACTLY; the opposite of what I did/will do when it comes to Jeffrey Dahmer (compare/contrast) because that would be falling under OCD’s tricky traps 🙅🏻‍♂️ Again, if I can; YOU, CAN! And to be honest; you should because it is obviously an exposure and the perfect form of ERP 🗣 Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌