- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Has anyone on here ever had thoughts like,what if I had sex with a dog?this thought has me in its clutches and I feel really abnormal and bad,my therapist says maybe maybe not, but it’s trying to really dig in
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Has anyone on here ever had thoughts like,what if I had sex with a dog?this thought has me in its clutches and I feel really abnormal and bad,my therapist says maybe maybe not, but it’s trying to really dig in
So this morning i woke up late. And it’s snowy where i live so instead of me starting my car and being late for work i just got up and went. I know stupid of me but it’s not like i was completely restricted i could still see a little bit. So i was just driving and being cautious and going slow. And then i heard a bang like i hit something. Immediate panic got sent down my spine. I am freaking out. I literally turned around and went back to the spot and seen if i hit a car. I drive past it and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. But it’s also dark out. So I’m not really sure. I have such an urge to leave work and go check to make sure i didn’t hit anything. I’m so scared. What if the cops come to my door later and arrest me for hit and run. I didn’t mean to do anything. I don’t even know if i did anything. I’m so scared. I keep trying to think positive. Maybe there was a box on the ground? If i did accidentally hit a car i can just repay damages. They shouldn’t arrest me for something I’m willing to pay? But then as i was turning around to go back i made like a wrong or weird turn and now I’m scared that they are going to camera watch me all day and watch my driving. What if they think I’m some guilty human being that did something wrong just by watching me drive ? I know seems silly but I’m genuinely freaking out 😭
That if you’re in denial you can push the thought away and not think about it. If you have ocd you think about it a lot (more then 1 hour a day). What if I am in denial my whole life? What if I didn’t think about my whole life because is was in denial? What if this is the time I realise I’m a lesbian? I’m so anxious and feel so extremely numb at the same time. I love my boyfriend so much. 7 months ago is was so happy. It was the easiest yes when he asked me to be his girlfriend..
Last night I tested. But in a different sort of way I watched yk and waited for the anxiety to go away. And then tested myself. And I don’t even know what the response was. Spent all morning watching Chrissie Hodges and I relate to pretty much everything she says. But I still. Cannot. Accept. That I might have ocd (because I am not diagnosed. I feel like I’m too young. And because I don’t recognise that I do compulsions) This is war in my brain. And I’m always convinced that if I stopped having anxiety I would like the thoughts/feelings. I have to go to college and I know for a fact my head is going to spiral allllll day
I’m curious about the NOCD’s community experiences on this. My question is, can OCD be actually a “blessing” in some situations? Let me give an example: John is an engineer and has OCD. He gets treatment for his OCD, but finds that in his very technical work, it pays to have an eye for details. Also, his perseverance and perfectionism make him an ideal candidate for job promotions. He consistently gets top performance ratings and obtains bonuses without fail. In other words, John is heavily relied upon for his technical expertise and were it not for his OCD, he wouldn’t have gotten so far in his career. He is nothing without his engineering prowess and lives and breathes in code. Although John is happy with his career, his personal relationships suffer. He has very little to no success making new friends or let alone romantic relationships. He is viewed as “overly sensitive” and needing serious work in his personality. So the dilemma is: should John forego his career and treat his OCD to a point where he no longer has an “eye for details”? Or, should he continue his MO and use OCD to his advantage? I’m curious as to your experiences with this.
Have moments of clarity where you know for sure your fear is absolutely your ocd making you upset and repeatedly getting you to give in your compulsions? Then the rest of the time, it’s like your brain doesn’t work at all and your fear is absolutely true or possibly true, of which the possibility is something you can’t/won’t accept. Do you ever have fantastic days where you hardly ruminate, do your compulsions, and the intrusive thoughts seem to be diminishing. You know you have to face your trigger at some point that say but you don’t want to because you’re having such a good day. But you know by avoiding it, you’re not going to improve so you face it, and then bam! You get stuck in your spiralling thoughts and behaviours again?
Several months ago I met this guy online originally as friends, and once meeting we became friends with “benefits”. From there on we began sexting on snapchat. I made the dumb decision of letting him keep the photos in the chat but not save it in his camera roll. Eventually our conversations slow faded because of our busy schedules and we mutually stopped talking, but we still had each other added. Fast forward to yesterday, I get a notification that this person saved x photos from me. I click on it and it also says that he blocked me. I go into my alt account and tell him off about doing that and that he needs to delete them because it’s weird. I switch back and forth between accounts to see if he would reply, just to see that he also blocked the alt account before I could even see if he messaged me back. I have been spiraling all day because I am not sure what he is doing with my explicit photos. I’ve never had this happen to me which is why I probably felt so comfortable with keeping it in the chat and plus we haven’t talked in a few months. So I was not thinking that he would do something creepy like this. I am scared that he might maliciously post these on an explicit website or exchange it with others. I am 19 and he is 20 btw.
Has anyone ever done something horrible because their OCD told them to? I had the worst case of OCD imaginable when I was 23. I can’t even put it into words. I’m 31 now. Still have OCD but this was unimaginable. A voice that was nonstop. Never ending. I couldn’t even hear my own voice anymore. I would take sleeping pills to put myself to sleep so I wouldn’t have to be awake. But I’d dream of it. It never stopped. I attempted to end my life at this time too. I did what the voice told me too just to shut it up. And have been wrecked with guilt for years since.
My co-worker said that she needed 300 bucks or she would be kicked out of her apartment. I gave her 60 to help her and when she said thank you and that I’m a good person, my POCD and real events OCD kicked in… I never thought of myself as a good person because of the extremely horrible real events when I was 13 that my POCD calls me a P, a chomo, and a child r*pist for… I don’t ever want to be these things in any way shape or form… but I don’t feel like I’m a good person because of extremely horrible real events that I did when I was 13…
Last night I had the worst panic attack I have ever experienced and was having some very graphic intrusive thoughts. I am new to this OCD community as my therapist has thought I have had it for a while but confirmed today that that’s what I am probably struggling with. I am on some pretty intense medication related to my misdiagnosis’s and feeling lost about where to start. I wish I didn’t suffer from these thoughts and that I could live a “normal” life. How does one start living and not surviving ?
I really wish my formative teen years weren’t spent online during a time before anyone really understood what a digital footprint was. There’s so much I did online as a teen that I am NOT proud of, and it’s impossible to just scrub away, it’ll always linger somewhere somehow. It makes me wish I’d never grown up with the internet at all, and I get jealous of those who were able to live in a time without their every action being permanently documented and catalogued.
I have contamination ocd and have been struggling with using the bathroom and showering. Everything is done in excess, so I’m constantly over wiping and washing to virtually no end! ironically, I feel like my hygiene has actually gotten worse because of this. Just looking for advice.
For those who remember my post from the other day about feeling suicidal. I am again. I’ve even reached best ways to end your life. None sound good enough to make sure I do die for sure. I’m not telling anyone because I cannot go back to the mental hospital. I just can’t keep living with this. I’m hurting. I hate myself so much and I feel like I would be doing the world a favor if I end my life. Because the world doesn’t need another evil person. And I fear I might just be one. I want to cry out for help. But nothing is gonna make this so called “OCD” just go away. It will never go away. Maybe simmer down but never be gone. Everyday feels like a never ending battle. I can’t keep living like this.
I left Christianity years ago and had a theme that I did the “wrong” thing and would go to hell. I’ve struggled w this theme on and off although mostly got better. This is hard to explain, but when I was fanatically involved in Church and trying to be the perfect Christian, I had lots of intrusive thoughts around myself and others not being “Christian enough.” It was so intense it was like “people aren’t supposed to go to the gym in the morning, just sit in prayer.” I’m not supposed to be silly because it’s not “Christ like.” Anyways, the thoughts I had when I was “Christian” have come back, even though I don’t live that way of life anymore. It’s not only really disturbing but confusing because I don’t know why my content of thoughts shifted back to when I “was Christian” and confuses me on if I now really believe in Christianity again and that’s why the content of my thoughts shifted. I’ve been doing my best to treat it like I would any other theme and accept uncertainty but it’s been so difficult and the thoughts are so annoying and I don’t know why they bother me so much if I’m not actually Christian anymore.
Please… I seriously don’t think I have ROCD anymore that I truly don’t love him enough anymore.. can this happen with ROCD or do I just not love him anymore…
Is there anyone on here that practices the Christian faith seriously? My faith is my most important part of my life, and ocd seems to affect it the most. It is very hard to discern between genuine faith/ sin concerns and when my OCD goes overboard and my concern is not valid. I feel like I'm always concerned I'll sin, or that some thought is a sin and it's a very difficult cycle to break. If I could associate a compulsion, it's be confessing things. Anyone else struggle in this way and have advice? I'm currently on a wait list for a NOCD provider.
I am obsessed with cleaning, I will clean even when the house is clean. It's not that I am worried about getting sick. It just makes me feel better to have everything perfect, clean and in its place. This is effecting others in the house though because I get frustrated if someone comes in with their shoes on and brings a tiny bit of dirt in. Or if my partner doesn't leave areas clean the way i do. I also feel like it effects my child because I can't bare mess, when she gets toys out I feel like I'm tidying as she is playing. I must clean 3 times a day and sometimes I can't leave the house without doing certain chores. Or it plays on my mind all day. Its frustrating, I feel burnt out because I never stop
I am conflicted if I should treat my OCD as a part like they do in IFS therapy (no bad parts) or if it's something I need to suppress and deny until it is "killed". I don't mean to make it into a personality but it can feel that way. I feel like i am always switching between both methods and when I try to take control I feel like I'm suppressing, then i deal with backlash and relapse, when I try to accept it and understand it, it starts justifying itself and bullies other parts then i stop caring to change. It's like i have inside me both a power hungry kid and a parent with no authority skills
Really struggling to determine whether my doubts are vaild or not. I have a very blurry picture of what I envision for my future, ever since I was 18 Ive had this desire to run away and start a new life (22 now) I dont know whether its escapism or just my calling, but I dream of a nomadic life with no attachments to anything. I believe its strongly associated with OCD and the fears I have around commitment. But my partner has goals for his future, he can envision his life, and its becoming an issue that I cant envision mine. We would like to be able to line up our lives to see if we want the same things. Of course I want a life with him, but I am so controlled by fear I cant commit to anything. I cant commit to the idea of settling down, having kids, having a career. They all scare me. We’ve been together for 2 years and I still have been avoiding my thoughts out of fear that the truth is: Im not meant to be with anyone and I need to live life on my own with no ties to anything. My therapist said some really triggering stuff yesterday and now I cant stop thinking about the possibility that we may just be on different life paths, no matter how much we love eachother. Feeling defeated😣
I know we can't ask for reassurance, but I need some opinions from others who understand OCD :( When my gf and I had just gone official, I had another friend who I was close with that I think had feelings for me. When I was drunk one night I called her after she left to pick me up and go to her apartment. My friend told me it was just to keep drinking because my roommate had gone to sleep in the living room, but I was so drunk I can't fully remember and feel I was making the call to fool around. Another time a few weeks later we squeezed hands while very drunk again. I've since stopped drinking and hanging out with this person, and even told my gf what happened. However I didn't go into detail about the fact that I think I might have been trying to cheat or had slightly developed feelings, just told her I felt like I had cheated by making that call at all. She took it really well but I don't feel she understands the severity, and thinks it was mostly the other girl making advances. It scares me so much because I did kiss another girl during my previous relationship yeears ago in college (my current gf doesn't know about this), so I'm scared I'm doing bad again. I feel like I need to confess and fully explain what exactly I'm worried about, and that I think the only thing that stopped me from actually cheating is that she didn't pick me up, but at this point I'm not sure if that's a compulsion or not. How do I know? Do I just confess again? I've confessed multiple times to her and it's def put a strain on things :(
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