Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Has anyone falsely confessed a memory bc when it popped in you thought it was real

Everywhere i read about "its ocd cause you have "what if" thoughts, what if i harm someone, what if i jump out the window, what if i like the opposite gender" and it drives me crazy cause when i have an ocd attack its not what if. Theres no what if, its like a command to do something bad, harm someone or myself, it feel like a feeling too that i should die, but when its over im just fine, i want to live. Expecially thats so hard when i feel like i dont want to ignore the thought, i want them. This should be clear now that is ocd just "what if" thoughts or it can be so agressive like you feel you want to do that, its like a command to do it, you even get thoughts why you should do it(like dying cause you had enough, harming someone cause it made you angry) cause sometimes it doesnt feel like ocd, i feel like im fighting with myself to not do those bad things...

I’m feeling so low. It’s making think of bad things. Would going to the hospital be helpful? I’m in the UK and not sure what to do

Is anyone on Zoloft for ocd? Does it help?

Hi, my name is Casie and I'm a Member Advocate at NOCD! I started therapy with NOCD back in 2020 because I was at one of my lowest points and knew I needed help. I learned so much and was able to find how to help myself, something I never imagined I could do. I also love creating art! So for anyone new here, we would love to meet you. Tell us what brought you to NOCD, and something special about yourself!

Does anyone have any tricks or things they say to themselves to stop them going back to check something (in my case the oven, plugs, anything that can start a fire, plants that could leak water (!) Lamps etc) it's just so difficult to jot check multiple times when j can't trust my own brain!!! I stand at the door trying to resist, and it's like ocd just makes me check?!

I am currently spiraling with a new theme that has hit me hard. Basically I’ve noticed that I think one of my co workers likes me and tends to blush when they are around me, and I now I’m questioning if I like them. But I am already taken, have a partner, and have no interest in dating anyone else. The thought of doing anything romantic with my co worker makes me feel uncomfortable and nauseous. I’m wondering if this is just Relationship OCD? But I keep blushing when I am around her, partly because I think I’ve become hyper aware of wether or not I am blushing. I have spiraled over this twice before and this is the third time after work I am spiraling. I only noticed this after I spiraled the first time and had a panic attack over it. Last night I had severe panic attacks after work questioning if I was unfaithful to my partner or not. For context yesterday was the first time I’ve seen my partner in a while because they were sick. I was so happy to see them and we cuddled as per usual, and I told them that I missed them because I genuinely missed them and it was really nice. But then at work, eventually my new theme became triggered and I kept thinking about it on and off the whole time. It started because when I first saw my co worker I felt myself blushing in her presence. But then I kept telling myself “maybe maybe not” and eventually was able to let go of it and then I was fine and could care less. But then at the end of the night when she was training me to close the store, I felt myself blushing as she was watching and making helpful but direct comments. And I could tell that she thought my reactions were funny because I am not a direct kind of person. 😅 so I would be flustered by that but I question why I was flustered or if that meant something else?? We do get along well and I enjoy our chats, I really do just want to be friends with this person. But now I find myself dreading interacting with her. Oh and I’ve also been actively avoiding getting too close to her, making sure to avoid hands touching when handing each other boxes, etc. But since I find myself blushing in her presence I keep questioning myself and it’s hard to stop. I feel sick and panicky and I keep questioning if I’m being emotionally disloyal to my partner. I haven’t gotten a chance to mention them at work yet because either we are very busy and it’s just not relevant or OCD is occupying the back of my mind. But then I did have a chance to mention it to a different co worker last night but then I second guessed myself if it was socially right thing to say at the moment, or at least that’s what I thought happened, but now I’m questioning that too. Because the co worker who has been triggering me was in the background and what if I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want her to know?? Ugh I hate this Also as a side note she is a lot younger than me and not someone I would even consider dating if I was single (she is 18 and I am 23), and I’ve never had this problem with anyone younger than me before. I am always helpful like a big sister to the freshman at my college. And I think this makes it worse because I have POCD too and she like just turned 18 so this also freaks me out a lot more ☠️ I think I started freaking out about her when I learned how young she was; she is ranked above me at work and is very confident and direct so I had no idea. But yeah this also just makes me feel icky and uncomfortable. But with this stupid blushing I keep questioning myself on if it’s because I am anxious, because I am flustered, or because I like her??? And when I got in my car after work last night I genuinely couldn’t tell. I was convinced that I did like her and that I had to put a stop to it. And then I started freaking out as soon as I got home and proceeded to have panic attacks and a nightmare. And now I think that it’s likely just my OCD and anxiety causing me to be hyper aware of wether or not I’m blushing. Because if I did like her why would it cause me to spiral into panic attacks?? Anyways I am going starting OCD therapy again soon but this has just been too much and I needed to at least write it out somewhere…I also just want to know if anyone else has experienced something similar to this? Especially with the blushing?

my friend triggers me a lot. it’s something she doesn’t do on purpose but it’s to the point where i don’t want to talk to her or be around her anymore what do i do? should i try and pull away for my sake or shoukd i keeo trying. it hurt hurts a lot

Do yall get dreams and feel it was a message from God or a higher up to do something and you panic because you dont want yo do it but what if your disobeying God or your in denial and that dream was a message, and what you want isnt what you want. I was actually ok in this type of ocd for a while and this dream came and now im back to zero and worried and scared idk what to do. Anyone have this?

Does anyone else feel like they have a different brain when OCD takes control? For example; if you start recognising you're falling into and intrusive thought and try to pull yourself out of it it's almost like your normal 'rational' brain has taken over again? Or the thoughts take over and you go into the stressed/anxious and irrational brain? It's almost like pushing out a shadow that's invading your mind, does anyone else get this feeling?

I get ocd over pretty much anything that means something to me or brings me any kind of joy. I have a game I like to play on my ps5, but I keep getting intrusive thoughts that I’m somehow making deals and promises with God that can mess up the game. I get a rush of anxiety every time I get those thoughts and immediately start checking the game for flaws. If I find one, it “confirms” the ocd thoughts for me and makes them feel real. I can’t stop making deals and promises with God and I’m scared that my ocd thoughts are truly somehow messing up the game, even though in my heart I know this can’t be. Thank you to whoever reads and especially to the ones that respond. One message could change someone’s entire life

i’m not sure if anyone else has struggled with this before and i’m a little embarrassed to talk about it but here we go. i’m really passionate about music and going to concerts and participating in “fan culture” makes me really happy. i’ve had a favorite artist since i was like 12 (i’m 20 now) and am really deeply invested in them. i’ve seen them live a bunch and have even gotten to meet them and talk with them online. they have a fanbase which i’m heavily apart of and i run a fan account for them and everything. i’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression, which this artists music and work has always helped me get thru, but ever since my ocd started to “pop up” in high school, i think my “obsession” with this artist has really become unhealthy. i think i’m a little too invested in this persons life and sort of live vicariously thru them if that makes any sense. i obviously know i’m not their best friend or anything and i know i don’t know them in real life, it’s just my ocd has latched onto them as a person and it really sucks. i wake up and the first thing i do is check my phone to see if they’ve posted. if they’re sad, im sad. if they’re happy, i’m happy. if somethings going on, it immediately affects me and determines my mood for the rest of the month. if they’re struggling, i immediately feel a huge weight in my chest wondering what’s going on and if everything’s okay. i have so many intrusive thoughts about them because i care about them so much and it makes me feel awful because they don’t deserve it. they’re just an artist. i don’t have many friends or a social life, which is why i think i’ve leaned so heavily into being a fan (besides the fact that i clearly love them and their art and admire them) because it makes me happy. but i guess being so invested has impacted my own life in a way because i don’t socialize outside of the internet or seek things outside of “fandom stuff”. i hate that i feel like this because ik it’s not normal to be so invested in the life of someone who’s famous and doesn’t know me for real. and it’s not fair to them because at the end of the day they’re just a person even tho they’re famous. but it’s almost like my ocd can’t help but latch onto everything i love and make me have obsessions and terrible intrusive thoughts about them. i just wanna know if anyone else has experienced this because i feel like i’m the only one. i wanna make it clear too that i’m not one of those stalker-obsessed fans who would ever do anything to hurt them, and i’m very aware that i don’t know this person irl and that everything online is a parasocial relationship. the main issue is that i just think i’m way too invested in this persons life to the point where it impacts me and my mood and most of my everyday thoughts and ik it’s not healthy. idk how to go about this because i obviously don’t want to stop listening to this persons music or stop supporting them and their art because i love them and care about them so much and they’ve helped me thru a lot and make me so happy. but at the same time i know being this invested and not living my own life is unhealthy too. any advice or comments in general would me much appreciated. thank you for giving me this space to talk.

hey everyone, i’ve recently been feeling pretty down after doing finals and would appreciate some support from some fellow uni students. i felt strangely more scared for finals this year and wouldn’t stop crying- i was an emotional wreck. thankfully finals finished a month ago, but i’ve been getting nightmares of reliving exams and what my grades would be like. i’ve had a very tough last two years of academic performance. my first year was really good, but second and third have been pretty poor. i also have been affected with academic integrity themes, so i’ve been ruminating about plagiarism, if i cheated in any assignments i’ve turned it, and if my final grades have been miscalculated. i had a new one today over whether a paper i did last year (irrational i know as i’m already moving on to fourth year next year) was miscalculated. i got C for the first two assessments (first test was 56/100 with 20% weighting and second was 59/100 with 20% weighting). i ended up failing the final exam which was worth 60% and i scored 44.17/100. overall, they marked me as a C- for my final grade, so it was 50/100. because of my obsessive episode over grading, i decided to calculate it in case the university miscalculated it. my calculation was 49.50, but my friends told me that it’s highly unlikely the university would have miscalculated over grades that has no dispute - for example, they may have forgotten to mark something so that would need to be reconsidered. they also said that my calculation would be different from the university’s due to grade boundary and other special circs. i’ve told myself that maybe i got 50/100 instead of 49.5/100 because they rounded up my grade and that the class is graded on a curve, and that according to the assessment handbook, they need to scrutinise students with grade boundary grades and that they all go for moderation. but my ocd is telling me that i in fact have failed the class and failed to report this to the university, and now i should report it to them otherwise i would be dishonest, and that i would have to repeat that class again. it’s all just very frustrating, i typically don’t ruminate that much with exams, the last time i was like that was in my first year of uni before i got my ocd diagnosis. can someone please share some guidance? i feel like i’m going to struggle to go to sleep and continue ruminating over this throughout the weekend.

OCD can be anywhere from bothersome to devastating. For many of us, this is the hardest, most painful part of our life. Yet somehow pain has a way of making us into really special people if we let it… How has OCD changed your life for the better? I’m in the thick of my journey right now, I start erp therapy next week. Its tempting to feel alone, bitter, and like I’m the only one who has ever experienced this. I am looking for hope from those who have walked this road before me!

But, after recent serious dissociative episode, I've started getting intrusive thoughts that I am loosing interest in my current interest, which is Tolkien's works. Before that I was consuming information about it with more or less enjoyment despite not being happy with my life situation. But then I've got intrusive thought of what if I start being interested in another thing and my favorite topic will be left behind. Fictional stories always were my support through difficult times, I don't have support from family or friends, so I focus on favourite characters and rules of their world. But as I stated it is a really silly thing to be worried about. Interests come and go. (It is probably some kind of compultion where I try to reassure myself that it's okay, it's just an ocd, you can't loose interest in what you love in one day, the thing that temporarily caught your eye is not gonna replace it). And I say silly, because people usually have a broad variety of interests, not the one you focused on too much (?) But it seems it is not that silly to me since I can't calm down. But it is not even about it probably. After dissociative episode it's like something clicked in my brain. It is that an intrusive thought like this (which I usually don't pay attention to) completely threw me out of my working and inspirational state again. This happened when I developed incestual intrusive (followed by harm and few other themed) thoughts. I was feeling numb. I have a break down and cry, thinking about life, what I lost and current bad events in general. I can't focus on anything. The thing that gave me comfort started making me anxious because of thinking I am loosing interest in it. I am trying to focus on something educational or funny, and it doesn't help me too. I wanted to fix sleep schedule, but I can't sleep in this state. I am trying to find a therapist in my country, but I am lost and unsure. I need money for urgent denta helpl. But now I feel like I have to spend them on a therapist. And while knowing that locking yourself up is bad, you need to talk to someone. I still didn't open up to anyone. My close friend struggles herself with few problems at once (though she is the only one who knows I have pure o, but I couldn't keep up with sharing most of my thoughts be it positive or negative, I don't know why). I can't talk to my sibling, both because of intrusive thoughts I had and because I let them down so many times before, being a selfish sibling, who focused on their own mental stuggles more and shut off emotionally. I apologized, but they were still not ready to talk to me (it's already two years and it's still not talked over, it shatters me inside). And my father is not my favorite person sadly due to his views (though I am still upset about what happened to my family which I loved when I was young and didn't know a lot about real stuggles, I know I still didn't accepted of what happened), it seems he is interested only in politics or physics/chemistry. He is not emotional (in a way of positive emotions), and not the one to help you go through bad emotional state. He is rather to leave you be on your own until you calm down. Maybe it would be okay in any other situation, but now I feel lost, abandoned, I don't know what to do. He is also someone who think there is no more serious mental illness that can suppress the struggles of physical injury/illness. I am afraid of his judgment, he is the one who thinks learning things is important. Inlove learning things, but I have to admit to myself I am not capable of focusing and memorising. Which feels like another big fail in my life. I am fond of grandfather, but he is also not the one to talk to about it. It is also giving me lot bad thoughts that I am not spending enough time with him, he may be gone soon, which I am don't know how to handle. There were not yet times when I lost someone so dear to me. And I stopped talking to my mother few years ago because it was harmful to my emotional state. I am upset about good things from the past. And I know there were many wrongdoings to her too in this family. But after finding out her views on the war that is happening right now, I understood there is no way I am talking to her lever again. I don't know why I am writing it here, I can't stop crying for 5 hours. I just wish ocd didn't touch at least the fictional things I am fond of and that help me go through difficult times. I know I will calm down with time (hopefully sooner, because there is a deadlined work to finish). But I cannot stop being anxious about possible changes in interest (it probably efects my worries about possible identity changes too, because I am afraid to become feeling better too as well as enjoy things and feel happy), which is probably a very dubious turn of events, but this ridiculous theme has beaten me right now.

does anyone have tips on how to get out of a burnt out? im going thru all kinds of burn out, especially mentally and emotionally. i can’t bring myself to do anything 😬

This week has been tough for me. My supervisor at my job gave me some feedback that really triggered some intense OCD thoughts. They told me I was making careless mistakes on a task and that I am not being detail oriented enough. I’m sure that all of you are aware of how crazy this might sound to someone with OCD who double and triple checks everything they do. Anyway, because of this error they took away my other responsibilities because the mistake I was making was apparently bad enough that they felt they couldn’t trust me to do anything else. On top of it being terrible management and that it doesn’t teach me anything or show me what to do differently, it also seriously triggered my anxiety. Now anytime I do something at work I have been checking it 100x over because I’m afraid of another mistake. I wish people would be kinder when they criticize. Sending love to anyone who checks their work for perfection ❤️

People with harm ocd know that it can be very difficult to explain to people around you what this problem is like and even after all the explaining they will never truly know how horrible this feels. I think people with ethnic parents will have any even harder time accepting and understanding because where they grew up they never heard of such things and haven’t been educated on mental health, my ethnic mum still doesn’t fully understand and sometimes says hurtful things, for example the other day someone wrote a post on here about their intrusive thoughts and I read it to her and she said ‘oh my god, imagine how many weirdos there are out there’ but I read it to her since I have the same problem as them, and it made me feel like crap hearing her say that.

I feel like I have romantic attraction for my same gender friend but I can’t seem to figure out if I am overthinking or I just see her as a very close friend that I want to be closer to and this is freaking me out. I’m not sure if this is an intrusive thought or not. How should I go about dealing with it?

Has anyone on here ever had thoughts like,what if I had sex with a dog?this thought has me in its clutches and I feel really abnormal and bad,my therapist says maybe maybe not, but it’s trying to really dig in